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Just a short blog today

Friday, February 04, 2011

Short but upseting to me. Our older son told me last night he doesn't believe there is a God. He believes when we die we do come back but maybe on other planets! Now to some this may be just a growing process but I'm a very spiritual person and have gotten through alot in life by relying on God to get me through. With prayer and knowing a higher power is there for me has gotten me through alot. It has been a rough month and just need a break. Thanks for listening Spark friends.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RUNNER12COM 2/5/2011 9:50AM

    Hey, I saw your note on my Spark Page and thought I would reply here.

Don't assume your son isn't using his spirituality to get himself through this point in his life. Right now, if he is anything like I was at his age, he needs to separate spirituality from religion.

All my life, I grew up with one clear message from society. If I was gay, my Church and my God would not approve. The hateful and judgmental voices seemed so much louder than the welcoming and supportive ones. Ultimately, I felt chased away from God, because it's hard to embrace something that doesn't embrace you.

But somewhere, deep down, I knew that I wasn't the problem. And while my external connection to all things religious fell apart, my internal spirituality strengthened. I found validation in my own daily life, learning to love others as I hoped to one day be loved and to give of myself without expectation of gifts in return.

I began to feel that religion was something people preached AT me, while spirituality was something people shared WITH with me.

So what if your son believes in aliens or karma or Buddha or the Flying Spaghetti Monster? The important thing is that, right now, he believe that there IS something greater in this world than just himself. He needs to know that there is meaning to life, that there is a reason to love and give, and that he matters to you and to those around him.

In other words, support him as he finds his spirituality. For now, that may be all that he can trust.

SDJ

Comment edited on: 2/5/2011 9:51:13 AM

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RUNNER12COM 2/4/2011 4:32PM

    If you truly are a spiritual person.. and I believe sincerely that you are... than you already know that you cannot "learn" spirituality. Sure, someone can teach you the basics of a religion, but true spirituality is something that a person comes to in his or her own time, in their own way, and only when they are ready.

It must be very frustrating, and even a bit scary, to hear your son say such things. But remember, the part about "a phase" is really true. He is trying to wrap his young mind around beliefs that wise scholars and religious leaders debate to this day, so it's not unexpected that there may be false starts and wrong turns.

Love him. Pray for him. And believe that he will find his way.

SDJ

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We have snow!

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Omg we got lots of snow! It's so comforting to be snowed in sometimes. The boys are tucking in tight in bed and the dog and I are comfy on the couch with a cup of tea. It's great to know that there is no place to be. No errands to run. :) The boys will get up and so the shoveling. I'll make some hot cocoa and we will get the house ready for the party. Enjoy your day Sparkfriends! Stay warm.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LARRYPHIPPS 2/2/2011 10:18AM

    KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, YOU CAN DO IT.

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Wow so we are getting some snow!

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Holy cow! We should have 2 more feet of snow by the end of Wenesday! A little worried that ice could cause a power outage. We are having a 70th b'day party for my grumpy father in-law on Saturday. Trying to figure out parking with all this snow. We will be having about 55 people at our house. I do enjoy entertaining and will enjoy having it but a bit stressed right now. It's good stress though so a nice change. :) I got our son a book at the library that was a fictional book about 3 gay teenage boys called Rainbow Boys. He loved it and has finished it within a week. He usually hates reading. He wants me to get the next book in the series and I will work on that once I can get on the roads. Have a great day my Spark friends. Thanks for being here for me every day! Stay warm!

  


Today is a good day!

Monday, January 31, 2011

Feeling great today. Thanks to all those who have been going with me on this journey. My therapist who I met with last week is amazing! She was sent to me from God! I swear! Our son dealt with not having his electronics and now we are back to day to day life. I know he is going to deal with teenage drama and we will deal with that. He is doing so well. I'm so proud of him to come out to us. From what I hear the parents are usually the last to know. He feels so comfortable to tell us who he has a crush on and even that he's writing music to deal with his feelings for his crush. I've read of so many unhealthy ways teenagers have dealt with their feelings I couldn't be more proud of him for being who he is in every way. Thanks again Spark friends!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SOPKAMANJU 1/31/2011 4:56PM

    emoticonI hope you and your son continue to thrive...

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This process is amazing...

Sunday, January 30, 2011

It's amazing how I go from a day of acceptance and love to anxiety and sadness. Yesturday we went to a boy scout ceremony. My younger son is a boy scout and my older son used to be one in the same troop. There was a slide show on the wall that showed my older son when he was 9 years old and older with many of his friends who are still in the troop. It was so sad to see. I want to be accepting of who my son is but some days I mourn the loss of who I believed he was and concerned how these friends will be to him when he comes out to them. High school is so hard. I'm so afraid what will happen when he lets them know. I worry so much about everything. I know having teenagers that worry is part of the job but this is something else all together. I keep hearing this is a process and yesturday and this morning I totally get it. I thought for a few days I was doing sooooo well. Now I feel like I'm back to square one. Thank God to Spark! I was never much of a diary person but typing it out here is good for my soul. I think that is why I haven't binged. I woke up this morning and felt like I had a brick on my chest and thought hmmmm those cookies downstairs would make me feel better. I felt like this would be exactly what would happen in the past with stress and this is more stress than I have ever had. I came downstairs with every intention of eating every cookie. I made a clear choice to make a cup of coffee first. I then made up something healthy for breakfast. Opened up my laptop and came right to spark. I need to take this one moment at a time. Let things be and pray for my son that he will be happy and healthy. That is all I want. Thanks for everything Spark!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERIANA 1/31/2011 5:53PM

    I agree with comments made by others. This generation is much less judgmental. They are okay being themselves but more importantly, they are okay with other people being themselves too. What a concept, right?

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RUNNER12COM 1/31/2011 5:49PM

    I think you will be surprised at how his friends will be. The whole "oh my gosh, he's gay!" thing is such a part of the old generations, not this one.

Be strong. You'll get through this.

SDJ

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SLENDERELLA61 1/30/2011 12:06PM

    So sorry that you are going through this extreme challenge.

Congrats on handling the stress so positively. Celebrate! Celebrate! Pat yourself on the back. You are doing so good. Smile at yourself in the mirror. To substitute sparking for food is just awesome! You are doing a wonderful job in a hard situation. Be sure to give yourself all the credit you deserve.

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CHIQUENS 1/30/2011 11:38AM

    Don't forget that the way that the older generation looks at these things is a lot different than the way the younger generation does.... Most kids, in my experience, don't care NEARLY as much as their parents do.

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JANRTEACH 1/30/2011 10:28AM

    I think you might want to remember that every kid turns out differently and what we hope for our kids usually doesn't match what actually happens. My daughter was in acting, dance and singing for years. All her activities were my life. She is now 30 and doing well, but... she's not in anything I thought would happen. She is in business management for a company that makes big equipment. I mourn the loss of her talents as she fights through the business mire each day. I feel sad when she sits down at the piano once a year and plays a Christmas tune. She is doing well, but not what I expected. I think most of us have a reality check when the kid is about 19. Your check just came earlier. Plus, being gay now is not what it was when we were in high school. My daughter in law works for a university and there are groups and activities all the time for people who have other interests. Hang in there -- hopefully it will get better when your son realizes how hard you are trying to help him.

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JREA24 1/30/2011 7:52AM

    I step at a time. Keep praying for the best.

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