SNEVIL1   26,037
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Leaving for vacation and new shoes

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

So tomorrow morning I am off for Puerto Rico. I will not have my scale for a week! I will probably not be able to track my food very well. I feel like i make pretty good food decisions, so I am not as worried about not tracking, but it feels weird to not have my scale. It is comforting knowing the number every morning, but it will be ok. I am very excited about my first time out of the country and my first tropical vacation:) I packed plenty of workout clothes and am hoping to check out the fitness center at the resort.

I also bought some new shoes. I used to be a size 9, but now my foot is a size 8. However, when I wear pumps my heels slip out when I walk... but a size 7.5 is too tight on the front of my foot. I found these heels and am very excited about them. The heel is thicker, which I was looking for, but the strap keeps my heel in the shoe. I also like that the platform in the front makes the heel not look so thick. My legs and ankles are getting stronger, but I need to keep practicing with heels. I used to wear them every day when I was younger, but getting heavy stopped that. Time to get out of flipflops and back into sexy shoes. I also got some new boots. They are actually a little looser in the calves! Usually I can't wear boots like this. I want to try them out in school and see if I can make these work as well:) Super excited. I will miss you all this week and will have TONS of pictures when I return!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LEMOW23 8/16/2012 2:43PM

    Your shoes look so cute!! :D

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-POLEDANCEGIRL- 8/16/2012 12:37PM

    I absolutely love hot shoes.... you defintaly got some hot ones there!!!!

Have an amazing time in PR!!

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CLPURNELL 8/15/2012 4:21PM

    emoticon Have a blast in PR!!!

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CONFIDENTLY_FIT 8/15/2012 12:42PM

    Shoes look great! Can't wait to see your pics! Hope you have an amazing time!

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    Very cute shoes! I used to wear heels all the time too, but gaining all this weight has me wearing flats most of the time. I want to get back in heels too!

Have a great time on vacation. I'm sure you'll do fine. Not sure if you are a drinker, but all those yummy tropical drinks will certainly add up the calories, so be careful! I can't wait to see the pics!

10k Leader

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RUNNERRACHEL 8/15/2012 12:55AM

    Have fun!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BOOSMOM03 8/14/2012 9:16PM

    Love the shoes!! I have a tad bit of a shoe fetish, so now I'm lusting for yours. :)

Have a wonderful vacation!

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LDRICHEL 8/14/2012 7:55PM

    SO HOT! And I'm proud of you for planning fitness into your vacation. Girl, you've got it going on!!! And you KNOW it! I aspire to have your kind of confidence! :)

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LYNSEY723 8/14/2012 6:58PM

    I LOVE THOSE!!!!!!!!! Both of them! Wow! SEXY! :) Enjoy your trip and I hope to hear all about it when you return!

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OMMAMA7 8/14/2012 6:51PM

    woohoo! have fun! And those shoes, especially the first ones are hot! :) Love 'em!

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6 month goal update

Sunday, August 12, 2012

So in Jan 2012 I was 215 lbs. On Feb 18th I was 210 and decided to start making some goals and come back to SP. I knew I was going to Puerto Rico the end of Aug and made a goal to lose 2 lbs per week to get to 160 by the trip. I knew it was HIGHLY unlikely that I would lose exactly 2 lbs a week for 6 months, but that was my goal.

Today is the day that I intended to be 160. I am 5 lbs heavier than that, but incredibly happy with those results. In the last 6 months I have lost 50 lbs and am starting to notice muscles. I have lost a great deal of inches and have gained incredible confidence. I love how my clothes fit, I love how I feel, and I love how I view life. I have run two 5k's and am signed up for a 10k in Sept and a half marathon in Oct. I have tried new things (i.e. horseback riding, pole dancing, kayaking, zumba, yoga, run outdoors in public, etc.). I lost more weight than I thought I would and feel like these 6 months were successful. I look forward to continuing my healthy lifestyle when I leave for Puerto Rico this Wed and when I return and go back to school. The week I get back teachers go back to school and the week after that the kids go back and grad classes start up again. I know it will be busy and will take planning and commitment from me, but I am ready and willing. I can visualize where I want to go and I am ready to take myself there.

Here are some pictures after I worked out at the gym today (weights and walk on treadmill). I will be posting lots of Puerto Rico pics next week:)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

POWERAUER 8/14/2012 6:34PM

    WOO-HOO! 50 pounds is a huge accomplishment! Enjoy Puerto Rico, you deserve to celebrate yourself!

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BECKYANNE1 8/13/2012 8:12PM

    Way to Go! You weren't too far off. Have a great time!

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-POLEDANCEGIRL- 8/13/2012 12:19PM

    Enjoy your trip!!!!

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CONFIDENTLY_FIT 8/12/2012 7:31PM

    Hope you have an awesome trip!!!

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  You look great and have a great trip!!!

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JIBBIE49 8/12/2012 6:58PM

    Look great.

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DAPHNE_RUNS 8/12/2012 4:47PM

    You are doing great and you look awesome too!!!!!

Have a fun time next week.


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FITBIZZZ 8/12/2012 4:42PM

    Nice going! Keep up the good work. Looking healthy and strong!

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EMMANYC 8/12/2012 4:05PM

    Congratulations! Your hard work clearly has paid off!

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PATSYB7 8/12/2012 2:30PM

    Wow! You should be very proud! That is quite an accomplishment. Congratulations! Can't wait to see pics of PR! Enjoy your trip.

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DEEDAYE 8/12/2012 1:37PM

    emoticon emoticonYou did amazing! Enjoy your trip & the new & improved you!! emoticon

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RUNNERRACHEL 8/12/2012 1:27PM

    You look wonderful! Congrats on your loss and all you've gained--your accomplishments, running, trying new things...


Great job. You have had great success!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RBETYOURASS 8/12/2012 1:20PM

    You are a huge inspiration to me when it comes to attaining your goals!!! So happy for you in all your accomplishments!!
Enjoy your trip!

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TIMOTHYNOHE 8/12/2012 1:01PM

    I think that shows real dedication to lose those 45 pounds in only six months. You are rightfully proud of your accomplisment

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HDHAWK 8/12/2012 12:30PM

    You're doing great! Enjoy your trip! I have 2 school meetings this week and teachers start next Mon., kids on Thursday.

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LDRICHEL 8/12/2012 12:21PM

    That's amazing!!!

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Confronting vulnerability (with muscle pics)

Thursday, August 09, 2012

So I've been noticing changes in my body, so I decided to take some upper body muscle pics. I've seen other people take awesome body builder style pics, so I thought I would take some. It's interesting because my left bicep is bigger than my right, but I'm right handed lol. I have lost 50 lbs and have come a very long way, but of course I am not content with where things are now. I don't have any before pics to compare it to because I avoided cameras when I was heavier, so this is all I have... but I am proud that I took them and proud that I am starting to see signs of muscles that I have never seen before. Hopefully when I get closer to my goal weight these pictures will look even better.

In an attempt to confront being vulnerable and self conscious I will proudly share these pictures with you. Yes, I still see fat and areas of weakness, but I also notice that these areas are much smaller than they were before. No hiding behind clothes to make myself look smaller or more toned. Here is who i am and I am embracing myself. I can't wait to see the difference in future pictures:) I challenge everyone who decided to read this to confront your own insecurities or challenges. I am worth it and I am in control!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LEMOW23 8/10/2012 1:32PM

    You look great!

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    emoticon emoticon emoticon

10k Leader

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RUNNERRACHEL 8/10/2012 1:58AM

    emoticon proud of you! Happy for your accomplishments!

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JIBBIE49 8/10/2012 12:11AM


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RBETYOURASS 8/9/2012 11:33PM

    Killer traps you got there woman! Oh and look at your runners tan! I have the same thing and for me makes me pretty darn proud that I attained one!
Looking great lady!

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RUN_BAKE_BLOG 8/9/2012 8:58PM

Where's the pole when you need it?!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CRYSALLIS1 8/9/2012 7:35PM

    emoticon Your brave and your look great. Awesome job.

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LDRICHEL 8/9/2012 7:35PM

    My right bicep is WAY stronger and larger than my left...which I think is weird b/c that's my "injured" one...I'd think it would be weaker. Strange.

And umm...DAMN girl!

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    Looking good! Keep it up!

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OMMAMA7 8/9/2012 6:02PM

    Awesome job!

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Why are ppl nicer to skinnier me than the fatter me??

Thursday, August 09, 2012

My bf and I have some friends whose gf's/wives have never particularly like me. They will give me a fake smile when they greet me and ask how we are doing, but it does not seem sincere. They give me disapproving faces and after they answer a question with one or two words will turn themselves so they are facing away from me. These girls are a little older than me, but around my age, quite thin/athletic, attractive, they are college educated like myself, are equally successful in their fields, and put a great deal of attention to their appearances/clothes.

However, this summer we have recently hung out with a few of these couples and I noticed a significant difference. They both commented on how great I look (which surprised me. Their comments seemed genuine). They were nicer and more relaxed around me. They seemed more open and did not seem pained to be around me. Our conversations weren't awkward and seemed less tense. It was legitimately a positive interaction, versus years and years of hostility.

This made me wonder... why is it like this?? These are the possible reasons I could come up with.

1. Since I am confident now I don't allow them to be mean (i.e. because I love myself does this stop the meanness/negativity instantly and they have no choice but to stop being mean to me?)

2. Since I am happier do they pick up on this vibe (i.e. is the positive attitude contagious?)

3. Since I am happier/more content now do I not notice or look for the mean behavior (i.e. was I paranoid before??)

4. Since I am confident now are they afraid to be mean to me (i.e. am I intimidating now when before they thought they could walk on me and treat me poorly?)

5. Are they and/or people in general nicer to skinny people?

6. Since I am happier now and in turn friendlier to them thus they are friendlier to me (i.e. was i the one that was mean before? Did I hate myself and assume others did too so I put up walls and shut people out?)

I am leaning the most towards #6, as much as I hate to admit that I was part of the problem. I've been told that I'm too quiet and come across as a b!tch (people I have met for the first time have told my boyfriend that they thought these things and that I am very standoffish). I thought people mistook me being quiet as not being friendly, but maybe i was giving off bad vibes... I didn't like myself so why should you? I am the kind of person that when I first meet you I don't talk just to talk. If I don't have anything to say I don't say anything. I don't feel the need to fill the silence with fluff, but I guess maybe I wasn't giving off positive vibes. I was insecure with myself so I assumed people would be negative towards me and I was defensive before even meeting them.

So what's different now??

I am proud of myself! I can tell you 10 things I like about myself at any given second. I've accomplished and tried new things that didn't just involve me being smart or good at school. I've tried tasks that I might not have been successful or the best at. I take risks. I enjoy life. I am fun to be around. I like how I look. I like taking pictures of myself. I like shopping. I do not feel like an embarrassment to others. No one is doing me any favors by hanging out with me. I am not a burden on anyone. If you disagree with what I think that is perfectly fine and I am not upset with you. You can have your own opinion and I don't need your approval anymore. I approve of myself.

I feel that these things are why I noticed a difference in how I am being treated. I am starting my 4th year teaching at the same school. This summer I recently made friends with several of my coworkers. Before I had kept with myself and only interacted with 2-3 people in my department, but I was missing out on such fantastic friendships! Of course I never want my weight and appearance to go back to where it was before, but I don't want my attitude towards myself and my interactions with others to go back to where it was before either. It is fascinating where this journey takes us, but I am enjoying the ride!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STARBUCKSLVR 8/10/2012 12:20PM

    I can relate to your comments.

I used to always project what other were thinking about my weight.
I would limit what I would do because of my weight.
I also felt very poorly about myself...that's a work in progress.

Thank you for sharing your experience.

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CRYSALLIS1 8/9/2012 7:39PM

    Interesting. Thanks for the insights.

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WANNABWERNER 8/9/2012 4:28PM

    wow...never thought of it like that..thank you for sharing!!

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LYNSEY723 8/9/2012 2:19PM

    Great blog - It is very interesting that how we view ourselves can so easily be pushed onto others to view us the same way - without us meaning to!

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    Great blog - so well thought out! I agree completely with you!

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OMMAMA7 8/9/2012 11:51AM

    I completely agree! with everything - I could have written this (well, not as well)! :)

I also think people are kind of socially conditioned to look down on people that have extra weight - the more lbs, the worse it is. Not ALL people by any means, but there's that negative stigma of being lazy or having less "worth", or depressed and unhappy. Sure, some of that, like the unhappiness can be true, and because of what you are saying - how many of us have exuded standoffish vibes because we felt down on ourselves. Some people pick up on that and are repelled, others don't even get that far because of their prejudices and preconceived notions.

But whatever it is with different people and circumstances, I have found the same things, that as I've lost weight and seen how tough I can be and started feeling higher self esteem and confidence...I am much more outgoing around people that I would have been all shy and mopey around. and it's led to much better, more confident and fun times with those people. I cant wait to see how much further this goes - I'd let a lot of my friendships suffer over the years and drift away(or realized they were friendships I shouldn't have been in in the first place), but as I've matured and grown personally more and more, I see lots of potential for great friendships happening.

This journey is about so much more than just weight loss - I love it!

Congrats on all of the great confidence and awesome things that are happening because of it!!

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LEMOW23 8/9/2012 11:27AM

    Awwww... :Hug:

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RENOVATIONMOM 8/9/2012 10:33AM

    I think it might be a combination of all of them! :)

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05MUSTANGGIRL 8/9/2012 10:01AM

    You have no idea how much this blog hit home for me! When I read this:

" I've been told that I'm too quiet and come across as a b!tch (people I have met for the first time have told my boyfriend that they thought these things and that I am very standoffish). I thought people mistook me being quiet as not being friendly, but maybe i was giving off bad vibes... I didn't like myself so why should you? "

I *swear* it was me talking!

It's amazing (at quite sad) the effects that extra weight has on your personality. Putting you automatically on the defense, making your interactions unintentionally strained... and it becomes so normal that you don't even realize it's happening!

I'm so glad to hear how your confidence has improved! I don't even know you and I'm proud of you! LOL!

Congrats on an amazing job, and I look forward to reading more of your blogs!

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AZMOMXTWO 8/9/2012 10:01AM

i think it is some of all of them but 6 does look most likely the best one

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Chocolate Strawberry Banana Protein Shake

Thursday, August 09, 2012

Newest recipe.

Choc Strawberry Banana Protein Shake
1 frozen banana
1 c frozen strawberries
1 tsp unsweetened cocoa
1 scoop chocolate protein powder
.5 tbsp sugar free vanilla pudding mix
2 c skim milk

Makes 5 cups. 96.1 calories per cup. Fairly thick, but not SUPER thick. Tasty.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNEVIL1 8/9/2012 2:25PM

    I get the Whey Protein. It was what they had at Safeway... comes in a huge bottle. Looks like something a body builder would use lol. I have vanilla and chocolate. I haven't tried any other brands, but it works for me lol.

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GETSLIM121 8/9/2012 2:08PM

    What brand of protein do you usually get???

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OMMAMA7 8/9/2012 11:53AM

    what kind/brand of protein powder are you using?

I am really wanting to try some of these, but I'm clueless about the different powders out there!

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LIVNFITNHAPPY 8/9/2012 11:20AM

    I am going to try this! Thanks.
I love protein shakes, especially in the summer. :)

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