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I feel heavier than I've ever been...

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

even though i'm not.

I've lost 11 pounds, 1/6 of the 66 pounds I'd like to lose, and a little over 1/5 of the 50 pounds I need to lose in order to be a "healthy" weight. Yet, when I look in the mirror, lately I feel like I look fatter than ever. I think it's because I was in denial about my weight for so long, and my experience on sparkpeople has really forced me to come to terms with that. I can no longer explain the numbers away ("it's water weight" or "it's that time of the month"), I have to own them.

Still, it's frustrating to think "how did I let myself get this way," when, after losing 11 pounds, I should be thinking "woo-hoo, progress!"


Is this bad?

Friday, January 15, 2010

So my husband and I were both home sick with food poisoning this week. After one day of barely eating, and having "gotten rid of" (now there's a euphanism!) everything I had eaten the day before, I was kind of excited to see if I had lost any weight. It was one thing that really kept me going when I was feeling really really sick..."maybe i've lost some weight." Well when I was feeling up to it I got on the scale I found that I had lost a pound. Not as much as I thought, but still, it's some movement. A few days later, the pound is still off. Is it bad that i'm kind of happy about it? I mean, i'm not about to go on the "undercooked chicken diet" or anything, but it is kind of the silver lining on the cloud.



Monday, November 23, 2009

This weekend was the first true test I've had since starting SP. My husband and I went to a housewarming party at his friend's new condo, and they put out tons of snacks. Since I'm a social eater, this type of situation could have been disasterous for me. Luckily, in addition to a cheese plate and chips, they also had grapes, and a veggie plate. When everyone was congregating around the food, I parked myself near the grapes, so if I felt tempted to graze, that was what I ate.
When I got home, I started to enter everything into Nutrition Tracker, cringing the whole time, while trying to be as honest as possible. I thought I went over my calories for sure. But....I didn't!
This was the first time I felt like weight loss was really possible for me. I went to a party, I didn't deprive myself, but was able to restrain myself from completely pigging out, and I made it work!
Here's hoping I can keep it up...


Baby steps

Thursday, November 19, 2009

I've been on SP since the beginning of the month. I realized early on that while my eating habtis were generally good, it was going out to lunch at chain restaurants with my co-workers was what was preventing me from really losing weight. Since starting SP, i've gone to the websites of most of the restaurants that we frequent, and printed out their nutrition information.
Today, we went to California Pizza Kitchen. I knew, based on my review of their nutrition facts, that I should/could have a half caesar salad w/grilled shrimp with a cup of the tuscan white bean minestrone soup. But then, when another coworker mentioned having a salad, everyone started talking about how can you come here and not have pizza. I told myself that I could let go and just order a pizza, and hope that I would only eat half of it. In the end though, I stuck to my guns and ordered the salad and soup.
I know it doesn't sound like a big deal, but to me it was because I am a social eater. I tend to mimic the eating habits of those around me. I am so proud of myself today, and I hope that I can remain as strong going foward as I was at lunch today.