a new outlook...

Monday, February 28, 2011

well my beloved grandfather passed away and i had to go out of town for a couple weeks. i'm back now and trying to get back into the swing of things. i'm sure you can understand that being with my family (a huge italian family) out of town and being terribly sad about my grandfather i haven't done too well.

i still just can't believe he's gone. i'm trying to motivate myself in his memory. he was a wonderful man that ALWAYS talked about great achievements, going the extra mile, and striving to reach your goals. he was an inspiring man to say the least. i want to make him proud, i want to make myself proud. he was 94, when he passed and he was content with his life and had no regrets. he went peacefully and gracefully in his own home with a slight smile on his face.

i hope i can live a long life and be able to say i made myself happy and had an amazing life. no regrets. this has made me think hard about things, if i were told i only had a few days to live tomorrow i would not be at peace, i would be full of regret. realizing this is a very sad and scary thing. life is too short to put yourself on the back burner. my papa would have wanted me to find happiness and live life to the fullest. i am not doing this now, i'm unhappy and my weight is holding me back.

so, i will go forward with a new outlook. instead of dreading exercising and eating healthy i want to look at this as an opportunity to do something great. doing good things for myself to be healthier so that i can not worry about it so much and take time to set other goals. weight loss has been an ongoing goal of mine for as long as i can remember....if i had my weight under control what would my goals be? that is a very tough question i've never asked myself before because with my weight loss being unsuccessful i haven't been able to set new goals. i want to have new goals, fun goals for once that have nothing to do with my weight. i'll work on that, in the mean time i'm going to go the extra mile!

no more shame

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Alright, so i haven't been on here in about a year. i'm sure you can guess i haven't been doing well and was too ashamed to post. i haven't gained anything and started at the same starting weight i was before which i'm happy about. i am eating better and already losing weight!

i went to the gym monday and did 10 min on the elliptical and 10 on the bike. i just get so bored on the machines and as soon as i start to get tired i want to stop. i'm hoping if i stick to eating well and start dropping weight the exercise portion of my plan will get better. most of the people i've seen on here with huge weight losses say that they started with the diet and the exercise came later. i want to start with the exercise now, but be more patient with my progress. i'm going to start classes this week weather permitting....we are snowed in today :( i really like spin classes so i'm going to do one or two of those a week. i enjoy them, they are a great workout and it keeps me exercising for 45 mins straight.

so, i'm done being ashamed. i'm sure i'm not the only one that has had to start over. i'm going to quit beating myself up over it and move forward!

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