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Thought I was okay.

Friday, April 11, 2014

WARNING...this is a sad blog. I have a million thoughts flying through my head and am blogging instead of eating. You do NOT have to read this...

I thought I was doing okay. I really did. And then I saw this pin:


Sigh.

My sweet lab of 13 years, Daisy is at the vet right now. We're not sure she's going to be coming back home. They have jury-rigged an oxygen cage of sorts for her because she is (hopefully, best case scenario) experiencing laryngeal paralysis. In layman's terms, a nerve in her throat has given out causing her not to be able to inhale. If the steroids and oxygen cage help, we'll be able to bring her home and just give her pills to help with her breathing. If not...well, you know.

DH and I brought her to the vet today, praying for a miracle. We thought her heart was giving out so now we've latched on to this possible diagnosis with all we've got. They sedated her to try to calm her down. We got a chance to go back with her for a little bit while the sedation was taking effect. In the back of my mind, I told myself that this might be good-bye but I hope it's not.

Daisy made the move from Florida with us 9 years ago. She slept under my kids' cribs when they came home from the hospital. I had a good hard cry on the way to the vet and again on the way home. My children (6 & 8) know that she's sick, but not the severity of it.

I'm trying to hold it together and for the most part, I think I am. But then something will happen and I'm a mess all over again.

To my team that I'm not chatting with today, I'm sorry. I'm not really in the right frame of mind to be there. I'll check in when I can.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOLFGMA 4/12/2014 7:49AM

    Sending hugs to you and your family along with prayers. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PEZMOM1 4/11/2014 11:20PM

    emoticon

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BEFIT014 4/11/2014 9:52PM

    emoticon emoticon

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KELLIEBEAN 4/11/2014 7:40PM

    I have an 8-year-old lab. I can't imagine how I will deal with this when that time comes.

I'm glad you blogged about what you are going through. I will be praying for daisy and and all of you!

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A-STRONGER-ME 4/11/2014 7:26PM

    I lost my sweet Bateesa on Labor Day, quite unexpectedly - I truly know your pain.

My thoughts are with you.

She will be forever in your heart.

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PICKIE98 4/11/2014 5:46PM

    I lost my best buddy-gal after 15 1/2 years,, cannot tell you how I can relate to this.. but know that we are here to vent to.. and for big hugs.. to all of you..


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TRIXYMAHOGANY 4/11/2014 5:19PM

    That's so sad. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.

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WYDE1340 4/11/2014 5:10PM

    emoticon I am sending thoughts your way and hope for a positive outcome. I completely feel your pain. Our pets are our family...they have pain, we have pain. Many hugs to you and family.

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An "A-ha" Moment

Tuesday, January 07, 2014

I had someone comment on my Spark page asking about my status which talked about revamping my fitness plan. I began the following response to her, but in the midst of it, I had an "a-ha" moment that I wanted to share...

To answer your question, I began teaching preschool 4 days a week this past fall and my exercise just disappeared. I kept trying to get up and run before school--I have 2 children (6 & 8) who are at 2 different schools, meaning 3 school schedules to coordinate. I discovered I'm not enough of a morning person to get up consistently at 5, so it just didn't happen. Enter the new plan:
On Mon and Thur as soon as parents pick up their kiddos, I head to my gym, which is an aquatic center, for my cardio heavy workouts. I am doing one day of swimming laps and one day of HIIT on the treadmill and stepmill. My DH is working from home on those days and I had to swallow my pride to ask for help for him to be there when DD gets off the bus...

Did you catch it? It was there in the last sentence. "I had to swallow my pride and ask for help"...I am one of those people that tries to do and be everything to everyone. Why is it so hard for me to ask for help? Hmm. I thought about this for a while. I think that it's because, in this instance especially, I am asking for help so that I can do something for ME. Whoa. Why shouldn't that be okay? Do you know how much BETTER I've been for my family since taking this time for me? It amounts to about an hour and a half a week.

The kicker is, DD is 8 and comes home and starts her homework right away. She doesn't really even have an impact on DH being home. Why did I feel guilty asking?

I think I've found my New Year's Resolution...ask for help when I need it and don't feel guilty about it!!

Be well my friends! Have a great one!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

4GYPSYGIRL22 3/16/2014 2:32AM

    YUP that about covers it...."ask for help when I need it and don't feel guilty about it!!" Guess I NEED to take a page from this blog for myself! Since I am working on a change, this will be ONE that I incorporate for myself!

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JANET1012 1/17/2014 12:31PM

    We all need to realize we need help. I think I may finally ask, too! Thanks for the encouragement!

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MGJARVI 1/9/2014 1:00PM

    I'm to the point that I could BEG for help, I just don't know what to ask for. It's so true that taking care of ourselves is so important and affects how we interact with our family. Kids know when you're not feeling like you're on your 'A game'. Love you, Jeni!!

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FUSIONFITNESS3 1/7/2014 11:07PM

    I get it!!! Why is it so much easier to be there to help others than to believe that we deserve help too from time to time.....
Thanks for sharing a great blog.

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SEAFLOAT 1/7/2014 7:31PM

    It can be hard to ask for help but good for you to realize it's ok to ask. You're not alone in feeling guilty for taking time for yourself. Most mom's feel that way, but again you are right that it is important for you and your family to take care of mom. You have a lot of wisdom of what needs to be done. I wish you the strength to do it! emoticon

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MOTHEPRO 1/7/2014 3:22PM

    emoticon

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MAMAK38 1/7/2014 1:37PM

    I just happened across your page and this blog. I'm so glad you wrote this and boy can I identify with it. I was happily on track with my routine the last two years until a few challenges hit. My in-laws stayed with us for a few months and my health issues seemed to be revving up. During that time I was trying to do so much, for everyone! Some of it I wasn't even asked to do but felt the need to. I stopped carving out time for me.

I didn't go to the gym as much as I wanted for fear of putting too much on others with dinners and homework. I even kept my mouth shut when unhealthy foods were brought into the house. I kept my feelings to myself and was all out of sorts! I'm glad I asked for support and stopped trying to keep that S on my chest, lol! The funny thing is people actually stepped up to help me once I told them this is what I need you to do! emoticon emoticon

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TEKRU1 1/7/2014 9:33AM

    Good for you! This is a hard one - something I think most of us struggle with. Being super-mom, all things to all people. Not only makes us miserable, taking responsibility for some of the stuff is good for others too!

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Get Up and Run? Or Stay in Bed

Monday, August 19, 2013

I am a fan of Runner's World on FB and they frequently link to blogs done by guy named Mark Remy. Most of the time, his blogs are tongue in cheek, just good for a giggle, but today's wasn't. It went along with something I went through so well, that I feel compelled to write my own blog about it. You see, he was scheduled to do an early morning run but the baby had gotten up 4 times in the night. The blog goes on to show what happened to "Real World" Mark (the one who got up and ran) and Parallel Universe Mark (the one who rolled over and went back to sleep).

Here's my story:
At 5:15, my running buddy texted me: Have fun with ur run today. C u in car rider line. (Her son goes to the same school DS does). Yeah, it was raining and she bailed on me. Lol. Fortunately, she had already told me that she probably would if it was ever raining in the morning so I went to bed last night assuming I'd be by myself.

When I looked at the weather forecast yesterday and saw that the rain chance had gone from 50% to 90% for the time between 5 and 6 AM, I groaned out loud. My husband suggested that perhaps I should just run on the dreadmill at the gym after I finished teaching Group X (think Les Mills Body Pump) but I resisted, saying that I didn't really want to get out of the habit of getting up early and I was afraid that missing one time would turn into more. He just shook his head and looked at me like I was crazy. Lol.

When the alarm went off at 5:10 and I heard the rain coming down, all I wanted to do was turn off the alarm and go back to sleep. However, I got up, shuffled around getting dressed and stumbled out the door. When I first started, it wasn't so bad, but oh boy did the heavens open up! I also ran straight through a puddle that was about 3-4 inches deep with about a half mile left to go. Ugh. Soggy feet.

Okay, so yay, I got it done. However, that's not the reason for my blog. When I got home from my run, I found that a friend and fellow instructor needed some help with cueing on a program that she's trying to become certified to teach (I'm already certified in it). I talked with her and she really wanted to go over it together. The only time our schedules worked this week was today after my class. So that was when we met. She "taught" me the parts she was having trouble with (effectively making that my THIRD workout of the day, OUCH!) and we figured out a way to make it a little easier for her.

The point of all this is, I am so very glad I didn't phone it in this morning. It would've been so easy to do it. I had every excuse--the weather, my running buddy, being sick over the weekend, the fact that I was going to get a workout by teaching Group X...but I didn't! I have developed a running habit and I am loathe to give it up! And if I *HAD* slept in this morning, all of the other events of the day would've prevented me getting that run in that I was scheduled to do.

NO EXCUSES!

Here's a link to the blog, if you'd like to read it (be aware that he uses the *s* word in it a couple of times):
www.runnersworld.com/fun/get-up-and-
run-or-stay-in-bed?cm_mmc=Facebook-_-R
unnersWorld-_-Content-Blog-_-ToRunOrNotRemy

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRIXIETEXAS 8/28/2013 11:41AM

    It sure is hard to get out of bed and go when it's yucky outside...although if it has been super hot, I don't mind running in the rain. If it's cold and rainy, I head to the gym to run on their indoor track but I try to do that as little as possible because it gets boring fast.

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BESSHAILE 8/28/2013 6:03AM

    good for you! And what a lesson for us all!

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FUSIONFITNESS3 8/23/2013 3:56PM

    What a tremendous example you are. Thanks for sharing a very real story. We all experience these excuses and that fear of skipping once leading to more skips is so real too.

Keep on running, Jeni.

Maria

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JMOUSE99 8/23/2013 3:29PM

    emoticon Good for you!

I actually enjoy running in the rain (but it's less fun in the winter of course). I usually mange to avoid the puddles though.

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BEFIT014 8/20/2013 6:11AM

    Good for you! It is hard to get out in the rain...

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CHRISPYLEE 8/19/2013 9:40PM

    Getting out of bed when it is raining is a roughy toughy for me....much less at 5am....to go OUT in it, no less!
THAT is the stuff Warriors are made of!!
I am very proud of you!!
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FITAT50 8/19/2013 9:06PM

    emoticon emoticon

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A-STRONGER-ME 8/19/2013 7:47PM

    good on you Miss Jeni. DEDICATION!!

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TIMOTHYNOHE 8/19/2013 4:33PM

    I find that to be so true. Especially on th edays when I just want to pack it in and blow off my run. If I don't want to do it, I tell me "Just 10 minutes." Only once was it just 10 minutes. Every other time, I finish what I was supposed to do. A couple of times even a little more.

And I never regret it. (Ok, once when I came home with hypothermia, but tht qualifies as an avoidable injury I think.)

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TAYSMOM77642 8/19/2013 4:05PM

    Great job on pushing ahead anyway! I was in a car accident a couple months ago and my hips have been bothering me the last couple days but I still workout anyway! We can't let all the other things slow us down.

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Why I am doing this (with pictures!)

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Some days are easier than others in this healthy lifestyle journey on which I've embarked. Today was one of the good days. I was able to get a nice workout in while the kids played in the pool. Everyone was happy. My eating has been bang on today and we're having one of my faves, grilled buffalo chicken salad for dinner. However, not every day is like today. Some days, I just want to bury my face in a carton of ice cream or sit on the couch and read a book. I thought I'd write this to remind myself WHY it's important to make the healthy choices...

1.
I know, I know, it's cliche, but my family is my number one reason to be healthy.

2.
I don't have to take ANY of these right now--and I intend to keep it that way! When I started on this journey, I had to take BP meds. I do NOT want to have to do that again! My grandmother was a severe diabetic, so I need to remember that I don't want to end up like that if I don't have to.

3.
That's my LBD. I got it as a reward when I reached my goal weight before. Sadly, I have never worn it because I didn't have an occasion. Now, I CAN'T wear it. That's gonna have to change. And this time, since I already have the dress, the reward is an occasion to wear it. I'm hoping to get a va-va-va-voom from DH! =D

4.
DH and I ran our first race "together" this past February. This coming January, we are doing another event together. This time though, in honor of Boston, he is going to run the full marathon and I am going to run the half. I had intended to do "just" the 5K, but after Boston, I felt like I needed to give a little more. I've read that for every pound you drop, you cut 30 seconds off your half marathon time. WOW.

5.
No explanation necessary!

So, tell me, what keeps you going? Why are YOU on this journey?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FANCEEE 1/24/2014 4:23PM

    Great blog. I think I'm going to make my own list (with pictures). Thanks for the motivation!
Be blessed and be a blessing,
Kimberly

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FABAT402009 7/4/2013 3:15PM

    Not sure how I missed this blog but rooting you in!

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A-STRONGER-ME 7/4/2013 3:10PM

    I just saw this today - great stuff - I want to see a pic of you in that dress!!

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IMAGINE_IT 7/3/2013 7:37PM

    Just now saw your Blog...!!
Love the pics......you have a beautiful family...don't worry about if it is a cliché or not......that they are the number one reason that you want to stay healthy and fit! emoticon My family is one of my reasons to stay around for as long as possible...... emoticon
emoticon Blog.....thanks for sharing!
P.S. You are a Badass!!!! emoticon

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PEG2584 6/29/2013 9:38PM

    Those are all excellent reasons!
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LADYJ6942 6/28/2013 11:02PM

    Great blog, go get'em tiger!!

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FUSIONFITNESS3 6/28/2013 5:00PM

    What a great way to inspire yourself. Love the photos. I'm sure this blog will serve as a reminder to you along the way. Looking forward to seeing you in the LBD. You'll rock it.


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BKWERM 6/28/2013 12:36PM

    Great blog and great photos! You're so lucky that DH is on this journey with you.

I'm on this journey for me and my family and so that my health problems don't make me feel worse than I already do.

Comment edited on: 6/28/2013 12:37:52 PM

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JMOUSE99 6/28/2013 11:34AM

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NYARAMULA 6/28/2013 1:44AM

    emoticon

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RONI122 6/27/2013 10:57PM

    Such a feel good blog! I love your family pictures! It's a journey that is so worth the ride. Together we can share the good times and bad! Keep up the great work! emoticon

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NIMAWEYGH 6/27/2013 9:50PM

    What good reasons to make your body the beautiful temple it is supposed to be.

I do what I do for my health and so I will be here longer to reign chaos throughout my family.................ha Someone has to be the black sheep emoticon

I wish you luck, strength, fortitude and good old sound judgement and with all this working in your favor, there is no way you will miss out on any goals you set for yourself.

Good luck to ya.....

Nimma

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TWINZMOM7 6/27/2013 9:12PM

  I love every part of this blog!! Great post!

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ITS_MY_TURN_NOW 6/27/2013 8:57PM

    I am on this journey for me. My kids are grown and it is about time I take care of me. You can do this! You have a beautiful family.
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MJREIMERS 6/27/2013 8:18PM

    emoticon blog and emoticon pictures! The woman in the mirror is what keeps me going. I like what I see and how strong I feel and I don't want to lose that feeling!

I'm on this journey for ME! My kids are growing up and needed mom less so it's MY time to get healthy. And I am doing it!

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FITAT50 6/27/2013 7:48PM

    emoticon

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SCOTMAMA 6/27/2013 7:05PM

    That's a terrific blog and it's one you will turn to again and again. In times of feeling hopeless, turn to your blog and it will renew motivation. If you are the type to reach a plateau that seems to last forever, perhaps it will be the kick in the butt you need.

By the way, cute background on u page! emoticon

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DIDMIS 6/27/2013 6:44PM

    I liked your pictures.

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NELLIEC 6/27/2013 5:58PM

    Excellent reasons!

Mine is to have better health! And it is working!

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FITLIKENIC 6/27/2013 5:34PM

    emoticon Pictures tell a story, and yur family is beautiful! YOU can do it!

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Very disappointed

Monday, June 10, 2013

I just got a call from the director of group fitness at my gym...they are cancelling my Wednesday Group Power class. This was my very first class I ever taught. It was never a huge class, but I had about 6-8 hardcore regulars. I have to go in on Wednesday and tell them it's the last one. :( More than that, as it stands, my gym is looking to end its affiliation with Group Power and is going to have us start making it up on our own. Those of you that know me, know that Group Power is HUGE to me and I just can't imagine not doing it anymore.

Sigh.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MGJARVI 6/26/2013 7:04PM

    I wonder how your regulars took the news :-( I have faith that you can make your own class awesome all on your own... but yes, I know GP was/is important to you!

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A-STRONGER-ME 6/11/2013 4:37AM

    Such a shame. Another gym maybe?

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RONI122 6/10/2013 11:15PM

    Something better is waiting for you! Keep your eyes open. When you least expect it there it will be.

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FABAT402009 6/10/2013 8:51PM

    Sorry! Can you pitch another gym to see if they will take on the classes?

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BEFIT014 6/10/2013 6:28PM

    Aww, I'm sorry to hear that. I know you were excited about it. Will you be checking out another gym that may take you on?

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FITLIKENIC 6/10/2013 4:41PM

    Oh no! So very sorry to hear... Hoping this is a case of one door closes another opens~

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BKWERM 6/10/2013 3:53PM

    That sucks. I'm sorry that they're cutting your favourite class. Is there another gym that would take it and you on?

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TEKRU1 6/10/2013 3:30PM

    Sorry to hear that, Jeni! There's always a new challenge, isn't there? You got this one!

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KIKA07DK 6/10/2013 3:28PM

    Aghrrrrrr.... These days everybody are cutting down their budgets, let's just hope that this economic crisis is hitting the end emoticon

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