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Roses Blooming In December!

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

I was out watering this morning in San Diego, and even though the mornings are cold, it warms up nicely. I noticed that a few of my miniature rose bushes are blooming (red, yellow and white), and it brought tears to my eyes.

So much loss this year, and still trying to heal from missing my dear cousin (like a sister to me). It's been a real challenge to refit the broken pieces of my heart in any semblance of normalcy. And absolutely beyond belief difficult in getting my life back.

The past couple of weeks have brought more tough stuff - another dear friend. He's suffering from a liver disease that is progressing fast. The thing about this person is that he doesn't want me to ask how he is; he wants to ignore it and it'll all go away.

So, I looked at the roses this morning and smiled through my tears. What a beautiful gift it has been to have had so many amazing people in my life! I'm just selfish in wanting to keep them around for a longer time. I've lost 9 dear friends and family members over the past three years. Not to mention my own life's bumps in the road. But we are all on this ship together and each have our own set of challenges to deal with as we roll through the turbulent seas.

Wishing all a wonderful day.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANCY- 12/10/2010 8:06AM

    Right now it is 8 F here.... today's high will be 29 if we are lucky.

There has been a lot of loss in your life, but they have brought so much into into your life. Perhaps your friend wants to be treated like he always has been, not as someone who is ill. He is probably dealing with his loss and wants to hang onto the way things were.

I love the way you think.... "have our own set of challenges to deal with as we roll through the turbulent seas. "
We will get to safe harbor.
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LIBBYFITZ 12/9/2010 6:10AM

    emoticonSo sorry to hear about your friend! glad the roses made you smile!

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JLITT62 12/8/2010 5:10PM

    I think maybe your cousin had something to do with those roses blooming. With your attitude, I know you will pull yourself out of your grief when the time is right. Hearts never go back to normal, but they can find a new normal.

Wishing you the peace of the season.

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PEGGY-BEE 12/8/2010 2:15PM

    It's wonderful that we are given gifts we don't see coming that make us smile and bring joy to our hearts even in grief.

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SIMPLELIFE4REAL 12/8/2010 1:56PM

    Jesse,
It's amazing how even in the midst of pain, there are moments of extreme beauty. I'm glad that you are seeing them.
Kay

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FUTUREHOPE49 12/8/2010 1:14PM

    How lovely that the roses made you smile through your tears. I can understand how you feel about your lost friends and relatives. We have also lost a number recently. Most of my friends were a lot older than me and I have gradually lost them. There are only 2 left now, one in her 80s and one in her 70s. We are lucky to have family nearby.
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Ellen

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IAM_HIS2 12/8/2010 11:51AM

    Oh, how I can relate to that pain, especially this time of the year. My heart goes out to you. So happy you were given the git of roses in December. Hugs to you!!

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Off to the Concert to see Trans Siberian Orchestra

Friday, November 26, 2010

I'm going to the matinee today to avoid traffic tonight at their second performance. If you've never seen this show, and you like rock and performance, you will never forget TSO.

As far as Thanksgiving, I won't dazzle you with how much I ate. I knew I would, and enjoyed every bit. (smiling)

Wishing all a happy weekend. Stay healthy, happy, and safe - have fun!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANCY- 11/27/2010 7:54AM

    What a wonderful weekend!
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JLITT62 11/27/2010 5:35AM

    We always go to matinees -- then again, I'm usually in bed before a night performance would end!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

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SASKATIA 11/26/2010 7:41PM

  Sounds like fun!

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SIMPLELIFE4REAL 11/26/2010 5:51PM

    Hope you had a wonderful time. I'm really glad that you are doing things to help you enjoy the holidays. You deserve to have some fun.
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PEGGY-BEE 11/26/2010 5:01PM

    How lucky you are! Where are they playing? I really enjoy their music.
ENJOY!

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LIBBYFITZ 11/26/2010 4:52PM

    emoticonHave a wonderful time!

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Happy Thanksgiving

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Wishing all a safe, happy, and healthy Thanksgiving.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PEGGY-BEE 11/26/2010 1:05AM

    Wishing the same for You!
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LIBBYFITZ 11/25/2010 5:44PM

    emoticon and you too!

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NANCY- 11/25/2010 10:47AM

    Thank you and I wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving filled with warm memories and gratitude.
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JLITT62 11/25/2010 5:49AM

    And the same to you, my friend!

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WORKOUTWITHPAM 11/25/2010 3:17AM

    HAPPY THANKSGIVING to YOU, also!
HUGS
Pam

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Turning Grief Into Gratitude

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

I've been trying to practice redirecting the sadness of loss into concentrating on how thankful I am that I have had all of those lovely people in my life. Lost 8 in the past two years. And I miss my dear cousin (who was like a sister) who departed in July.

Wishing all a wonderful Thanksgiving.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DDHEART 11/24/2010 8:37PM

    Holidays can be hard when we're missing those we've lost but you are so right that turning the grief into a celebration of the ones you miss is a good thing. I hope you can have some laughter along with the tears...think of the things you did together that brought you joy. emoticon

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JLITT62 11/24/2010 2:32PM

    And a wonderful holiday back at you! Remember you angels, as I know that you do. And remember that they want you to be happy, just as you always wanted them happy.

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PEGGY-BEE 11/24/2010 1:06PM

    i do know how you feel. In recent years I lost Dad, Liz (my dear cousin, daughter's God-mother), Pat (my sister), Guy (father in law), Colleen (20 yr old niece) then Mom in June, plus so many friends. I don't know what happened but all different cancers except one. I feel beat down by it all, but lucky to have had them. They each added so much to my life. We will be toasting them all tomorrow and chatting w/ family across the US to remember them.

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LIBBYFITZ 11/24/2010 10:48AM

    emoticonI can't even begin to know how you feel, just sending lots of hugs!

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NANCY- 11/24/2010 10:47AM

    It isn't easy... but those fond cherished memories can bring smiles and reminds me that they are still a part of me.
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JOYATLAST 11/24/2010 10:26AM

    Turning grief into gratitude is noble. I salute you. You will make it. You really will.

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This Year, No Pumpkin Pie Fantasies!!! That's How I know I've truly Left Sugar!!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Here goes the same ole song...

Prior to 4-5 years ago, I had a lifelong curse of being able to eat anything without weight gain. A curse because it spoiled me into thinking that I'd be that way forever and ever.

Not so with the introduction of hormonal changes, job stress, life stress, and tons of other changes. Around this time of year, my very favorite pumpkin pie would take center stage. No, not just a piece, but I was used to eating the entire pie in a day, and sometimes one the next day.

Fortunately, with the past two years of this lifestyle change, I did not get as carried away, but still had a battle with "portion" control. (which meant NOT THE ENTIRE PIE!) Okay, well, see I think what's happened to me is that during this past 4.5 months since my dear cousin passed away, I started to return to sugar.

However, I remember a technique from my college days in Psych class - satiation. I think that I ate so much sugar that I got sick of and from it. Truly, I can hardly stand the thought of it now.

So, no pumpkin pie fantasies for me. I even bought a Carvel ice cream cake this morning for a friend. Didn't even want any!

Wishing everyone a great holiday. I'm thankful for my sparkfriends and all the help you've given me.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANCY- 11/24/2010 10:45AM

    WTG on making changes.
You are awesome!!!!


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LIBBYFITZ 11/24/2010 9:36AM

    emoticonWell done!

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JLITT62 11/23/2010 8:14PM

    Apparently, right now, there is no pie on the menu. Cheesecake and carrot cake; doesn't really sound like Thanksgiving, does it? What were my mom & sister thinking? I have been mostly out of the loop.

I don't think I'll ever banish sugar altogether, but I have gotten rid of more of it and mostly it makes me feel better. Altho in HI I ate more sugar than usual, and thankfully that doesn't make me want to continue with it now that I'm home.

Have a wonderful, sugar-free Thanksgiving.

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DDHEART 11/23/2010 6:49PM

    One summer when my brother was a teenager, he worked at a Carvel shop....they were encouraged to eat all of the mistakes they wanted during the first week of employment...it did a great job of killing that desire to eat the product!! LOL have a great holiday...me, I'm going to have some pie but I'm going to stick to some sliver tastes of the Caramel Pecan silk pie and the apple caramel pecan....the pumpkin isn't the one that calls to me!

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JOYATLAST 11/23/2010 5:42PM

    You are emoticon !!



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SIMPLELIFE4REAL 11/23/2010 5:15PM

    I hope you have a great Thanksgiving!

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WHOWANTSOLLIE 11/23/2010 4:45PM

    Wow, no cravings! Yeah for you!
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