Sunday, October 10, 2010
I just had to use that headline. I love to do that and have had fun with it since 2001 - 1/1/01, 2/2/02, etc. Such a child! (smiling)
I heard a numerologist on the radio during the week saying that today is a powerful day, and to light a white candle with a special request or wish.
My opinion is that it's a good thing to make each day as powerful as possible, with whatever hand we're dealt. Hoping that all of your wishes come true. Have a wonderful day.
Saturday, October 09, 2010
Seems to be the season for gratitude with Canada celebrating Thanksgiving this weekend (sorry, I don't know exact day), and then ours coming up in November. Wishing all a happy, healthy holiday.
Friday, October 08, 2010
Just before I awoke this morning, I had a dream that I was standing in front of the mirror marveling at the wgt I'd lost. I never dream of mirrors, wgt, etc. so I took this as a sign that it was safe to get on the scale. I did.
Now, one thing I did recently that I would advise against is rounding up. I gained 8 lbs after my three-month rebellion, but had rounded up to 10 lbs. I figured, after all, I was probably going to continue to rebel and eat mightily. However, in my psyche, there is a difference between 8 and 10. Eight feels more manageable than 10. Guess it's just me.
Okay, I get on the scale and realize that I'm 4 lbs down - so only 4 to go until I am back at the good goal I'd previously achieved. For the past week, I have gotten back on track and done all the right things for myself.
I don't have to tell you, but I will anyway, how this SP site reinforces such great healthy behavior that, even when you fall into an abyss of despair and bad eating, you have the tools to get back to business. And each time I do, I'm stronger for it.
Wishing all a happy day and great weekend.
Thursday, October 07, 2010
Disclaimer - None of these topics tie into each other. Just random thoughts.
Wow, did I ever get a refresher course in basics during my last three months of total rebellion! For the past two years on this healthy lifestyle change, I made myself follow the rules. You know, the same ones good ole mom tried to reinforce early on when I blew off breakfast? What an amazing difference breakfast has made.
And this important meal (the foundation to the rest of the day really) was one I started to skip during my rebellious last few months of wild food abandon. Just wasn't hungry and that was that. Have a nice day. Well, you know the end of this story? By mid-morning or lunch time, I was ravenous. And the rest of the day went down in Ripley's Believe It or Not, or that disgusting show called, "Man vs. Food."
Yes, I am back, Jack. Now I don't miss breakfast, no matter what. It makes all the difference in the world and I think I've truly gotten the lesson now. EAT BREAKFAST!
Okay, Pinocchio. How did the author of that book know? Over the past few years, I have occasionally wondered why I don't have the same nose I used to have. Not being a liar (as his nose grew when he told little fibs), and not that my nose is necessarily getting longer (just changing), how could it have left town? The writer of Pinocchio must have known something that I just recently discovered - that our ears and nose continue to grow until our last day on earth! Wow! Am I going to turn into a Beagle, I wonder. Now, none of this makes any sense except that I just thought it an interesting fact.
And last, but never least, gratitude. I have never failed to be amazed, since joining this site, by the kindness and importance of sparkfriends. I'm usually a very private person, but the other day, I opened the curtain to reveal a peak at what has been a tidal wave of grief for the past few years. The kind words and thoughts were very much appreciated. Last month, when I was ready to quit SP (as I occasionally want to quit everything), EJ (leader of Supplements team) reached out and pulled me back to reality without saying a word to harnass my determination to leave. She just kindly gave me her email address and said she'd be there for me. And that she would really miss me on the team. Iwas touched because I sometimes think this is just a virtual, non-existent world. But due to her subtle reminder of the importance of healthy connection, including people who care, I did not quit. It has made a big difference in my staying on this healthy course. Thanks to all, and big hugs.
Wishing everyone a happy, healthy day.
Monday, October 04, 2010
I heard this analogy a long time ago, but now am experiencing it first-hand. The past three years' myriad losses of loved ones and friends (8) have chipped away at me in ways that are sometimes undetectable. The proverbial straw that broke me (in a manner of speaking) was in July, with the departure of my dear cousin (like a sister). She also took with her an entire lifetime of shared experiences, including shared experiences of a large family in which rich cultural, loving memories (grandparents) were better than gold. Unconditional love, a detailed knowledge of childhood fun we both held dear, priceless sense of humor, etc. all seem to have gone with her. So the loss is symbolic as well as just missing her.
Be that as it may, over the past three months (as well as the past three years that cancer spread throughout her body and I tried to help despite really being helpless), I have changed. Not in ways that I'm too fond of. I keep trying to get back to the person I was,but it feels like I'm moving in a room filled with jello with just flailing arms and legs. The person I was was totally different than what I seem to be now, and the harder I try to reclaim my positive attributes, the more they seem to elude me.
The other day I cried for the loss of who I was. The loss of self who has seemed to slip away with my cousin. I also came to the realization that this stranger who is now inhabiting my body may be the one I have to get to know, accept and love. Like playing the hand I've been dealt.
Broken and trying to crazy glue pieces of myself back together (like Humpty Dumpty who has fallen off that wall once too many times), I am a patched piece of work. And I realized yesterday that I will keep trying to heal in ways that I can, will try to accept the things I can't, and will try to muster the wisdom to know the difference. (yes, the serenity prayer)
Meanwhile, I have to learn to skate with just one leg. This site, and sparkfriends, have been a tremendous help.
Wishing all a good day.
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