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SLIMMERJESSE's Recent Blog Entries

10/10/10 at 10 am and pm

Sunday, October 10, 2010

I just had to use that headline. I love to do that and have had fun with it since 2001 - 1/1/01, 2/2/02, etc. Such a child! (smiling)

I heard a numerologist on the radio during the week saying that today is a powerful day, and to light a white candle with a special request or wish.

My opinion is that it's a good thing to make each day as powerful as possible, with whatever hand we're dealt. Hoping that all of your wishes come true. Have a wonderful day.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHERIRIDDELL 10/10/2010 11:56PM

    Each day is a good day to make it the best it can be!

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RAINBOWFALLS 10/10/2010 2:18PM

    I agree - we should treat everyday like a gift!

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JLITT62 10/10/2010 11:39AM

    Interesting about asking for a special wish today. Couldn't hurt, eh? Yeah, I'm a fan of at least trying to live life to the fullest, but a little extra now & again ain't a bad thing either.

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ANGE1010 10/10/2010 10:35AM

    Thanks Jesse. You are a true blessing. I'll have a better birthday because of you. Have a great week.

Ange

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JOYATLAST 10/10/2010 10:06AM

    Cool!

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LYNDALOVES2HIKE 10/10/2010 9:57AM

    I'm enjoying 10/10/10 as well - it's a day of new beginnings and only happens once in our lifetime!

Oh, wait a minute - EVERY day only happens once in our lifetime and EVERY day is a day of new beginnings - hmmmmmm!

Have a great day!

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Happy Thanksgiving, Canadian Friends

Saturday, October 09, 2010

Seems to be the season for gratitude with Canada celebrating Thanksgiving this weekend (sorry, I don't know exact day), and then ours coming up in November. Wishing all a happy, healthy holiday.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALEXSGIRL1 10/10/2010 8:03AM

    happy thanksgiving to our Canadian friends emoticonthis is a great place with friends form everywere

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 10/10/2010 12:38AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Happy Thanksgiving to all our Canadian friends!!


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CHERIRIDDELL 10/9/2010 10:50PM

    I am thankful for friends like you!

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AYAMMAYA 10/9/2010 2:49PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Happy Thanksgiving! I am so thankful for our Canadian friends!!!
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NANCYRUBIO 10/9/2010 10:02AM

    Amen! I grew up believing Canadians was a part of of the United States. Happy Thanksgiving, when ever it is. Date doesn't important just realizing they are our best friend.

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FCASTELO 10/9/2010 9:42AM

    .

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Paradise Lost and Now Progress (Lost 4 lbs)

Friday, October 08, 2010

Just before I awoke this morning, I had a dream that I was standing in front of the mirror marveling at the wgt I'd lost. I never dream of mirrors, wgt, etc. so I took this as a sign that it was safe to get on the scale. I did.

Now, one thing I did recently that I would advise against is rounding up. I gained 8 lbs after my three-month rebellion, but had rounded up to 10 lbs. I figured, after all, I was probably going to continue to rebel and eat mightily. However, in my psyche, there is a difference between 8 and 10. Eight feels more manageable than 10. Guess it's just me.

Okay, I get on the scale and realize that I'm 4 lbs down - so only 4 to go until I am back at the good goal I'd previously achieved. For the past week, I have gotten back on track and done all the right things for myself.

I don't have to tell you, but I will anyway, how this SP site reinforces such great healthy behavior that, even when you fall into an abyss of despair and bad eating, you have the tools to get back to business. And each time I do, I'm stronger for it.

Wishing all a happy day and great weekend.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMPLELIFE4REAL 10/12/2010 8:38PM

    I'm really happy for you! It won't be long before all that rebellion weight is gone. I totally agree that SP has all the tools right here to get back on track!

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AYAMMAYA 10/9/2010 9:37PM

    emoticonLook at you!!!
emoticonThat is Totally emoticon

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RAINBOWFALLS 10/9/2010 9:09AM

    Great job! Keep it up!

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JLITT62 10/9/2010 5:16AM

    Oh, 8 definitely sounds more manageable then 10. Why in the world would anyone round up 2 lbs? I guess makes it seem easier when you actually do lose.

4 lbs down is fantastic! Great job!

I've never dreamed about my weight either. I very rarely remember my dreams, only the extremely odd ones -- like the one recently with the huge snapping turtle that attached itself to my toe & I had to run away from it very fast -- which is odd considering it's a turtle, after all. A running dream, mayhaps?

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CHERIRIDDELL 10/9/2010 2:07AM

    Way to go ,there you are on the right track !!!!

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PEGGY-BEE 10/8/2010 2:23PM

    I am so glad you decided not to leave SP. You were quite an inspiration even tho you weren't present! (referring to yesterday's blog, too).
Sounds like you're getting your motivation back. Good going!

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BOHEMIANCAT 10/8/2010 11:03AM

    That is great that you have lost 4 lb!
Linda

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JOYATLAST 10/8/2010 10:56AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Breakfast, Pinocchio, and Gratitude

Thursday, October 07, 2010

Disclaimer - None of these topics tie into each other. Just random thoughts.

Wow, did I ever get a refresher course in basics during my last three months of total rebellion! For the past two years on this healthy lifestyle change, I made myself follow the rules. You know, the same ones good ole mom tried to reinforce early on when I blew off breakfast? What an amazing difference breakfast has made.

And this important meal (the foundation to the rest of the day really) was one I started to skip during my rebellious last few months of wild food abandon. Just wasn't hungry and that was that. Have a nice day. Well, you know the end of this story? By mid-morning or lunch time, I was ravenous. And the rest of the day went down in Ripley's Believe It or Not, or that disgusting show called, "Man vs. Food."

Yes, I am back, Jack. Now I don't miss breakfast, no matter what. It makes all the difference in the world and I think I've truly gotten the lesson now. EAT BREAKFAST!

Okay, Pinocchio. How did the author of that book know? Over the past few years, I have occasionally wondered why I don't have the same nose I used to have. Not being a liar (as his nose grew when he told little fibs), and not that my nose is necessarily getting longer (just changing), how could it have left town? The writer of Pinocchio must have known something that I just recently discovered - that our ears and nose continue to grow until our last day on earth! Wow! Am I going to turn into a Beagle, I wonder. Now, none of this makes any sense except that I just thought it an interesting fact.

And last, but never least, gratitude. I have never failed to be amazed, since joining this site, by the kindness and importance of sparkfriends. I'm usually a very private person, but the other day, I opened the curtain to reveal a peak at what has been a tidal wave of grief for the past few years. The kind words and thoughts were very much appreciated. Last month, when I was ready to quit SP (as I occasionally want to quit everything), EJ (leader of Supplements team) reached out and pulled me back to reality without saying a word to harnass my determination to leave. She just kindly gave me her email address and said she'd be there for me. And that she would really miss me on the team. Iwas touched because I sometimes think this is just a virtual, non-existent world. But due to her subtle reminder of the importance of healthy connection, including people who care, I did not quit. It has made a big difference in my staying on this healthy course. Thanks to all, and big hugs.

Wishing everyone a happy, healthy day.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMPLELIFE4REAL 10/9/2010 7:02PM

    I'm glad you didn't quit and I'm glad you opened up about your grief so we could support you.

I love your "disjointed blog"....no, your nose won't look like a beagle, but your ears lobes can get pretty big. It's interesting to look at people in their 80's and 90's.

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EJHEINRICH1 10/8/2010 11:28AM

    I am sooo glad you stayed with Spark People and if you ever need me you have all the ways to reach me I think. If you don't have my Phone # let me know And you can have that too!
I love ya my friend! Here to all your success!

EJ

Team Leader of Herbs Supplements & Vitamins

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JOYATLAST 10/8/2010 10:59AM

    emoticon

You inspire me.

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CAROLFAITHWALKR 10/8/2010 9:37AM

    I still fight the breakfast battle, too. I'm so glad you're still here! If you do ever leave please let's keep in touch.

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CHERIRIDDELL 10/7/2010 11:33PM

    I for one would be devastated if you left . Keep on doing the things to regain your health!Breakfast is essential!

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SHOOTIN4STARS 10/7/2010 8:38PM

    Hugs back! Please don't ever leave us! The SP world wouldn't be the same without you! Love this blog-- very well stated. You are a writer after all. Hope you're doing better.

Lisa

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AYAMMAYA 10/7/2010 8:14PM

    You speak often of the loss of your cousin, who was even more than a sister to you. Do you know that for me if you disappeared off Spark People and I could not connect with you that this would be an almost unbearable sadness? I am dealing with so many losses similar to yours except I have lost some siblings and family members. The only thing that has been keeping me going each day are the blogs, postings and comments from the Spark Friends I have kept close to me...

Please think about how important your soul and spirit are here in this virtual world which is a reality. It's like virtual penpals except with much quicker responses and no waiting by the mailbox. You are loved and appreciated so much. I understand you are undergoing the grieving process and that this is so much more than one ought to bear...you are not alone. You are surrounded by friends who love and adore you.

Me kealoha pumehana ~ M
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TINNATEE 10/7/2010 4:39PM

    Loved your blog! Ej's awesome and so are you!

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JLITT62 10/7/2010 2:24PM

    They may have been random thoughts, but they were GOOD thoughts!

Can't imagine not eating breakfast personally. I love breakfast. This said from a person that didn't eat breakfast all thruout HS (which is where her first weight gain startout, hmm, do we see a pattern there?).

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On Becoming a One-Legged Skater

Monday, October 04, 2010

I heard this analogy a long time ago, but now am experiencing it first-hand. The past three years' myriad losses of loved ones and friends (8) have chipped away at me in ways that are sometimes undetectable. The proverbial straw that broke me (in a manner of speaking) was in July, with the departure of my dear cousin (like a sister). She also took with her an entire lifetime of shared experiences, including shared experiences of a large family in which rich cultural, loving memories (grandparents) were better than gold. Unconditional love, a detailed knowledge of childhood fun we both held dear, priceless sense of humor, etc. all seem to have gone with her. So the loss is symbolic as well as just missing her.

Be that as it may, over the past three months (as well as the past three years that cancer spread throughout her body and I tried to help despite really being helpless), I have changed. Not in ways that I'm too fond of. I keep trying to get back to the person I was,but it feels like I'm moving in a room filled with jello with just flailing arms and legs. The person I was was totally different than what I seem to be now, and the harder I try to reclaim my positive attributes, the more they seem to elude me.

The other day I cried for the loss of who I was. The loss of self who has seemed to slip away with my cousin. I also came to the realization that this stranger who is now inhabiting my body may be the one I have to get to know, accept and love. Like playing the hand I've been dealt.

Broken and trying to crazy glue pieces of myself back together (like Humpty Dumpty who has fallen off that wall once too many times), I am a patched piece of work. And I realized yesterday that I will keep trying to heal in ways that I can, will try to accept the things I can't, and will try to muster the wisdom to know the difference. (yes, the serenity prayer)

Meanwhile, I have to learn to skate with just one leg. This site, and sparkfriends, have been a tremendous help.

Wishing all a good day.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAROLFAITHWALKR 10/8/2010 9:35AM

    I can so relate to what you wrote. I changed too. I don't have any answers. I do try to filter my thoughts and contemplation and subject matter of my thought life through this filter:

Is it true?
Is it worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly?
Is it just?
Is it pure?
Is it lovely and lovable?
Is it kind and winsome and gracious?
Is it full of virtue and excellence?
Is it worthy of praise?
Think on and weigh and take account of these things
[fix your minds on them].
Philippians 4:8

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REBECCAMA 10/6/2010 7:57PM

  Sorry for your loss. Interesting idea about skating on one leg.

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GRAMMACATHY 10/6/2010 12:23PM

    Jesse, I am so sorry about the loss of your cousin. Your blog is so very eloquent and heartfelt. I always called it wading in the mud. The jello analogy is so similar. It won't be easy, but I promise you that you will find your old self again with some new growth and insight. It just takes a long long time. Know we are here to listen and give hugs as needed.
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CHATTIEGIRL 10/5/2010 10:12PM

    Hi SLIMMERJESSEE;

I have stopped by to see how you have been doing and your weight
loss has been great. You have chosen to eat healthy and exercise to obtain a healthy life style. Good for you and it is the best step you could have taken.

When it comes to the lost of a love one I have been there and in the last 5 years i have lost my husband, 3 brother in laws and 2 sister in laws, that I was very close to. we all live right on the same road in the country. I was married to my husband for 36 beautiful years and it took part of me away. I loved him dearly and still miss him every day. I just had to put the pieces back together and try to live on my own. Now I am faced with having no family around me on this road and I have leukemia and may have to go for treatment. if that isn't a scary situation to be in. But I put it in God's hand to find me peace and someone to help me. Life hands us a lot to deal with at times and it is hard but we do survive.

Stay true to your healthy eating, routine exercises and reach your goals of a healthy life. May God watch over you.

Joyce

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RAINBOWFALLS 10/5/2010 8:41PM

    emoticon

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CIERAPOET 10/5/2010 2:10AM

    Sorry to hear about your loss and pray you will be happier in your time. A loss is hard especially someone close. I still cry and my mom has been gone since 2006 and a real close like a sis went home in 1998. So we miss those we love. By the way thanks for stopping by my blog. I have been here since 2007 and I am on my end of year count down. So that's the reason for the day count. God bless you and enjoy your Tuesday!
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SIMPLELIFE4REAL 10/4/2010 8:24PM

    I just think it is so great that you are blogging about your feelings. If you didn't, people wouldn't know about all you are going through and reach out to support you.
Keep on doing that as long as you need to, and we will be here to support you through the grief. It does take a long time. Losing someone who knew you as a child and had so many shared memories really is like losing a piece of yourself.

Just keep being gentle with yourself....it takes time, but you will feel better. I read once that grief is something we have to go through, not around. You are going through it just like you need to.
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JOYATLAST 10/4/2010 7:16PM

    I tried to respond earlier from my phone, but that didn't work out.

A part of you died, baby girl. Winter found you and the sap goes dormant. A part of your life has been pruned. We can't control the seasons.

But you will bloom again. Your life will flow and it will be YOU.

I like your analogy AND your attitude! That frozen leg will thaw out and warm up to serve you well. One step at a time.

Love,
Joy

Comment edited on: 10/4/2010 9:45:23 PM

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ALEXSGIRL1 10/4/2010 5:02PM

    you have lost a tremendous amount , it will take time and a lot of it. i had a lot of trauma in my childhood and early adult hood that i carried around with me , and felt broken and sad and hopeless. all i saw and felt was doom gloom . then one day i got a letter and the person wrote (May the rest of your life be filled with joy) I thought he has got to be kidding . me have a happy day, but then i thought maybe he is right and i found one good thing one day and built on it. and then after weeks it came to me i can have joy again , i can be happy. i think this will happen to you too, after time you will find joy in little things and build on it and you will get back what you lost, or maybe you will be like me and come back stronger. that is my wish for you. may the rest of your days be filled with joy . emoticon emoticon time is all you need and hugs from us

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LIBBYFITZ 10/4/2010 3:35PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticonI agre with the other comments. Also 3months is a very short time. give yourself time. emoticon

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CHERIRIDDELL 10/4/2010 2:31PM

    What a thoughtful blog ,yes you are forever changed but you are still special and cherished by many as the comments here are firm evidence of.We do change throughout our lives and it takes time to come to grips with the new "Us" But you still have so much important to share and other people who will feel for you and understand you."While grief is fresh every attempt to divert only irritates.You must wait till it is digested, and then amusement will dissipate the remains of it ." Samuel Johnson We your friends will support you through the shock and grief of Carole's passing.You will learn how to heal and how to find your rhythm in moving through life's good and less than stellar times together with your friends.Your heart will become light and your spirit will soar to hope as you remember your beloved cousin Carole's life and sparkle.

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PEGGY-BEE 10/4/2010 1:54PM

    I am so sorry about your loss of your old self! I experienced something similar, a blow to the head and it changed me. Nineteen years later I still mourn her and wish my daughter knew that woman. But this is me and i cannot go back. So, yes, mourn. But embrace this you and love her. She deserves it.
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JLITT62 10/4/2010 12:55PM

    You know what? We aren't meant to stay the same thruout our lives. We are meant to be constantly changing, striving, growing -- shedding the skins of our previous selves like a snake sheds its skin (hmm, I sense a blog in there somewhere).

So no, you'll never be the same. But sometimes things that are broken and glued back together are actually stronger -- I think eventually that will be the case for you. Mourn the person you were. But learn to love the person you are.

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