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SLIMMERJESSE's Recent Blog Entries

Keeping My Face in the Sunshine

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Another day of lots of warm sunshine walking is my therapy in handling loss, sorrow and grief. I think I'll attend a grief support group on Tuesday to help myself through this latest loss. And my cousin who's like a sister to me is not doing well either. So, I am bracing myself and trying to stay on the right path (eating and exerise) for optimal good health and nutrition.

Wishing all a good day.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THEADMIRAL 1/13/2010 1:35PM

    Hey Jesse, I'm catching up on my Sparking. I just wanted to send big emoticon your way -- what a journey you've had with loss. Vikki

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JLITT62 1/11/2010 5:16AM

    Wishing you lots of warm sunshine to keep you strong.

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RASCALSMOMMA 1/10/2010 2:59PM

    Good thing about the grief counselling. It helps greatly, to be prepared for each phase of life. Hugs. Laurie

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JERSEYGIRL1950 1/10/2010 2:25PM

    Sending you some hugs..keep at it walking has always been my therapy...thoughts and prayers for strength and better days emoticon

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WOLFSPIRITS 1/10/2010 1:30PM

    emoticon HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY ALSO! KEEP YOUR CHIN UP, AND I WILL TOO. emoticon

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Another Hike in the Warm Sunshine

Saturday, January 09, 2010

Feeling good, and doing lots of hiking today. Sunshine is so cathartic and makes me feel healthy, strong, and ready to face whatever is in store for the rest of the day.

Wishing all a fun day.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WOLFSPIRITS 1/10/2010 1:30PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LISANANCY 1/10/2010 11:11AM

    The warm sun on your face is like a great big smile. So go out and smile from ear to ear. emoticon

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RASCALSMOMMA 1/9/2010 3:02PM

    Hi Jesse. You know one thing I have noticed (other than typing mistakes!) is there is ALOT more son this winter. True, its deceptive cuz its not WARM but for a person with SAD the LIGHT is wonderful.. Thanks again for your gift Im enjoying it. Hugs to you Laurie

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JLITT62 1/9/2010 2:25PM

    Well, it's VERY cold sunshine here (actually, not too bad once you're all bundled up) and yeah, it sure makes me happy! We don't see the sun too often here. Dragged DH out for our walk, kicking & screaming as usual.

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JERSEYGIRL1950 1/9/2010 1:50PM

    Good for you enjoy your weekend. Hugs

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Grief, Cheesecake, and No Remorse

Friday, January 08, 2010

This is the kind of confession you dread writing. In fact, you either put it off as long as possible, or refuse to write it at all.

Yesterday, after a couple of days of handling my most recent loss of a dearly departed family member very well, I decided ____ it. I bought a couple of very small pieces of cheesecake and savored every bite. I have this theory that, if I'm going to do this type of thing, I might as well enjoy it.

Sure, I know better. Sure, it's not the healthiest way to deal with sadness. But I also know that I don't make this a habit. I also know that at least it wasn't the entire cheesecake. (smiling)

Today's a new day, and back to healthy coping. Fighting a cold, so will keep exercise reasonable.

I have three more people who are very dear to me who are in stage 4. So, I'd better just buck up and learn how to effectively deal with grief, loss and sadness.

Have a wonderful day, sparkfriends.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ZUZUBEE 1/9/2010 10:09AM

    Hang in there! In comparison to what you're dealing with, the cheesecake indulgence is no big deal. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and any momentary comfort it may have given you! I'm so sorry for your sadness. emoticon

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AMYMLE 1/8/2010 10:58PM

    Jesse, I'm so sorry you've had so much loss and grief to deal with. I think the problem with emotional eating is when you're not aware of it. I don't think knowing what you're doing and why you're doing it is so much a problem. Hang in there! We're here for you!
emoticon

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KO1215 1/8/2010 4:14PM

    I really can't add anymore than what has already been written except that I am sorry you are going through so much and we are here for you! Take care,

Hugs,

Keri

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JLITT62 1/8/2010 2:42PM

    Well, cheesecake won't make the pain go away, of course, but if you're going to indulge, that's the way to do it -- decide what you truly want, and savor every bite. Actually sounds pretty sane to me.

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RASCALSMOMMA 1/8/2010 2:14PM

    Jesse, there are teams that you can join for (im assuming) cancer survivors and grief/loss . You shoulld probably arm yourself with that defense. They will show you how to deal with your grief besides food. Or, for a more "person"al approach, do you have a church or counselling organization that you can participate in. THere are alternatives...
I do like the idea that you bought SLICES instead of a whole cake. Good for you. Gentle, long hugs from Laurie

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RAYLINSTEPHENS 1/8/2010 2:02PM

    Indulging occasionally is not a crime. Sadly it will not help you deal with your loss.

In our society, even mourning is accompanied by food. We can hardly turn around that food isn't involved.

I am sorry for the loss of your family member and grieve with you. It can't be easy knowing 3 more people in stage 4.

Try blogging before the cheesecake? Maybe it will help?

Nothing can stop mourning and grieving and really, we don't want to anyway. It is good to be able to mourn those we lose.

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JERSEYGIRL1950 1/8/2010 1:28PM

    Hey there, Sounds like your battling some storms right now..first off no beating yourself up or get down on yourself. Sometimes life just keeps throwing you curves and all you can do is breath thru them even if that means cheesecake. I'm sorry your dealing with all these losses for me when I get overwhelmed you just have to let it go with the knowing this too shall pass.Thoughts and prayers your way. hugs

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So Much to Say, Yet So Little

Thursday, January 07, 2010

In times like these, when there is so much loss in my life, it's tough to blog. If I have nothing good to write, I tend to not want to say anything at all. At times, I list topics I want to blog about, and other times, there's not one single thought in my head. (smiling)

So, I thought I'd just start typing and let my mind roam to miscellaneous thoughts. One of them is my ongoing battle with coffee.

In October, I detoxed completely from caffeine and it wasn't a pretty process. Even though I drink only 1/3 to 2/3 of a small mug daily, it is very strong coffee and I am very sensitive to caffeine and don't like the way it makes me feel. However, like any good little addict, I return for more each morning.

My detox period lasted about 8 days and it goes from migraines that are indescribable, to pains in the adrenals (above the kidneys) until my body releases the last bit of caffeine. In October, I was off of caffeine for three weeks (in the past, I've made it to a year). It was sad to see that I had absolutely no energy at all. I mean, I tried all kinds of healthy ways to jumpstart the engine, but no luck.

Thus, I started back on coffee in November and here I am with it again. Hate to be a slave to a substance or behavior, I really want to kick it for good. But I also don't want to be a limp ragdoll without it. What to do? Yikes, a real dilemma.

Wishing all a wonderful day.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SKYEFYR 1/9/2010 7:48PM

  What do your b vitamins look like? When hubby had to cut back because of his high blood pressure, he started taking b complex vitamins and he says they really helped him. Just an idea! (And I like the 5 hour energy drinks for an occasional pick me up. Expensive for daily, but....)

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JLITT62 1/7/2010 3:29PM

    Wish I had some words of wisdom, but thankfully I'm not much into caffeine. I'm the same way about blogging, tho -- sometimes I have so much to say, and obviously other days nothing at all!

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RASCALSMOMMA 1/7/2010 12:09PM

    actually Debbie has a good point Jesse. When you track your food do you have extras that you also track; like any vitamin or protien or other nutrients. try that for a while. If your body it really sensitive to it I wouldnt do it. Try it..Hugs Laurie

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SURENDERISNOTME 1/7/2010 11:56AM

    I know you have been battling this problem with caffine for quite some time. Have you thought about talking to your doctor. If you are feeling run down due to lack of caffine there could be some other under lying problem. Maybe he/she might have some suggestions for you. I have been where you are I quit smoking 17 years ago. I stopped drinking sodas, and coffee since I joined Spark People in March of last year. It wasn't an easy task. I also found my body craving the caffine that kept it going most ot the time. I am now taking vitamins. Though my energy level is getting better I am still working at it. Wishing you well.

Debbie

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New Year, New Loss

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

A beloved family member passed away today. I am distraught and griefstricken. (But not eating junk as a result) Handling my sadness with a lot of exercise, among other things.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HICALGAL 1/7/2010 6:38AM

    i'm so sorry to hear of your loss. my heart and prayers go out to you. emoticon

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JLITT62 1/6/2010 5:33AM

    I am so sorry for your loss. Exercise is a wonderful stress buster. Just let all that griet out thru sweat.

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FREELADY 1/6/2010 1:00AM

    Jesse, I am sorry for your loss. Good for you, not eating junk. That is really an accomplishment.

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RASCALSMOMMA 1/6/2010 12:23AM

    I'm so sorry Jesse. People do cope with loss in many diffferent ways. You are making a wise decision. I am proud of you. Hugs to you my friend..Laurie

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