Monday, November 09, 2009
I thought I was off this forever plateau, having lost a lb last week. When I awoke this morning, I promised myself that I'd get on the scale for Monday's weigh-in and not let any number bother me. Since I've been exercising hard and eating right, in my heart I felt that I'd be down again. Nope! Up 4 lbs. I'm not going to let it ruin my day. I know I'm still maintaining good health, but I really have to admit utter frustration over this since I've been working so hard. Makes me feel like... no, not giving up. But just not working as hard. (p.s. Thanks a ton, sparksfriends. I am going to follow advice here. Especially paying attention to measurements and not just the scale.)
Saturday, November 07, 2009
Just some miscellaneous thoughts before I head out. Yesterday was a turning point for me with caffeine. I had my fingers on all kinds of exotic flavors of coffee on my way to the store's register. I even considered decaf, but that doesn't work for me. A helpful sparkfriend didn't even know how helpful she was being in telling me that she doesn't like coffee. That reminded me that I really didn't like the taste at the end (before I gave it up last week) either. So why then was I so fixated on it yesterday? Who cares why, but the bottom line is that I did not succumb and today I don't even want it or care. I think that was the day that I could have easily relapsed. With every good decision, I strengthen that resistance muscle.
I'm reading Dr. David Kessler's book, "The End of Overeating." He's got so much interesting information, including how sugar, fat and salt are engineered into our foods to make us addicted to coming back for more. (and more and more...) He notes that rats will work almost as hard to get to sugar as they do to get to cocaine. These are powerful substances that fire pleasure neurons in the brain. Oftentimes, it's not just willpower that will conquer them, but establishing new pathways for those pleasure neurons. It's a good read.
Have a wonderful day.
Friday, November 06, 2009
Okay, I know I shouldn't be thinking this way. But I am. I focus on the healthy benefits that are reasons I detoxed last week. But I can honestly say that there is an appreciable difference in energy level without coffee. Even with more protein and exercise, I can feel such a huge decline in that "spark" of energy. And I go through that evil self-sabotage of feeling deprived. "Everyone else is able to enjoy coffee, but me" syndrome. Hate to think I'm so dependent upon anything, but hey, then I come into the "how 'bout a little bit" way of thinking. And that's what lead to drinking coffee in my adult years in the first place. The smell of it is everywhere in public places, and seems to be a comfort thing when the weather gets a bit chilly. Now that I've had my little whining tantrum, I'll go make myself some herbal tea and stop thinking this way. Wishing all a wonderful day.
Thursday, November 05, 2009
I was so proud of myself. From October '08 until August '09, I didn't even crave sugar so that made it easy not to eat it. I didn't feel deprived, which was nothing short of miracle since I've always been the sugar queen of the universe. (smiling) But then I read an article saying not to deprive yourself of anything or be too rigid, as you might run the risk of sudden derailment.
Okay. I get it. Then, August was the first time I fell off the program after being "almost perfect." (not a perfect human being - smiling - just a near-perfect program) Yes, too rigid. I ate a little more of this and that, but not even close to what I'd eaten in the days before healthier eating.
I learned a lot during that month of "failure." In fact, in retrospect, I no longer consider it a failure since I learned so much about myself and eating in that month. I brushed myself off and found it easy to use the tools I've learned to get headed back in the right direction.
Then came October 22, 2009. A week before that, I'd worked sooooo hard with mega-exercise to the nth degree. When I saw that it did not make the scale even quiver slightly, I subconsciously took that info and tucked it away to use when I needed a "who cares" attitude.
My opportuntity came on October 22 when, before going to see Lion King, I had dinner with a friend. At that time, I realized that I didn't even really WANT sugar, but somehow I wound up ordering dessert. I rationalized that I'd exercised so hard w/o losing a pound, and if that was going to happen (I've been on a forever plateau). then who cares? (not a forver who cares, just for that night - or so I thought.)
In one of my blogs, I'd discusssed that I'd been trying to teach myself the "little bit" thing, and trying to get out of the all-or-none syndrome. That it's the first few bites that are said to be the most rewarding and the rest is downhill from there. But I ordered the dessert, and I was determined to forget the rules and just enjoy it. Which I did - kinda...
I really didn't do the "little bit." I had a honkin' piece of caramel cheesecake with so many additions it would make your head spin. And that's just what the sugar did to me. During the play, I was so dizzy and my body wanted to reject that sugar.
Of course, it's seldom a "one night" or one time thing. It was my gateway drug and for the following days, right up to Halloween, I had sugar. No, not as much as the sugar queen of the universe used to have, but way more than the almost-year of absolutely none.
Last Sunday night, upon taking a close look at myself (in many ways) and soul searching, I knew I was at a juncture. I could become a sugar junkie again, or live without it and feel great. I know I made the right choice.
The reason the Pampered Princess award this week was terrific timing is that it was a triumph of my decision to live without that which I really no longer want, need or can physically accommodate. Not only am I sugar free, but also caffeine free after a very tough detox last week. In a way, I'm glad this happened and made me make the choice. It was like a recommitment to myself rather than the substance.
And, guess what, today's weigh-in - 1 LB. DOWN! I think I'm done with this forever plateau. And I KNOW I'm done with sugar. Hooray, hooray!
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
First of all, anyone know an easy way to delete old messages from sparkpage other than one at a time? Over the past 10 months, over 600 messages have slowed my page down a bit when folks try to add messages. I'm going back to January to delete old ones. Wow, it's a walk down memory lane to see old friends who are no longer on SP, but who were a big part of encouragement for me. And pleasantly surprised to find folks who've been there from the beginning. Overall, it's made me feel good that I've stuck with it because I'm usually not a "joiner" and even resisted the discipline of logging in daily in the beginning. (Have to admit that I sometimes rebel now. But it doesn't last long.) In doing this, I have noticed that I have been so much more consistent in my exercising, logging food, and keeping up with current health issues. Hooray, hooray!
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