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Done Whining. Back on the Horse for the Victory Ride.

Friday, September 18, 2009

I'm not normally a whiner, but wow, that's all I've done lately. Yesterday, after asking for support, I received so many great reminders, good advice, and kind support. Something snapped (in a good way) inside my head and I just got sick of my own whining. I realized that I do not want to be a chubster anymore, and will do the work needed to get these last 20 lbs off. Honestly, I am doing some re-thinking and replanning as a result of what all of you wrote yesterday. Forever grateful, sparkfriends. Have a fun day.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMYMLE 9/19/2009 5:40PM

    Jesse, may your horse pick up it's feet with pride as you take your victory ride.

(Gee, I didn't mean to make a poem, but I guess I did.)

I'm picturing you with a crown of laurels and a purple robe, waving to all of your cheering sparkfriends when you reach your goal...which you WILL do, by the way. I KNOW you can do it!

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HICALGAL 9/18/2009 7:16PM

    emoticon emoticon

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BIKERBABE2BE 9/18/2009 4:10PM

    I'm glad you are doing better. Good luck!

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RICH530 9/18/2009 8:41AM

    emoticon Good for you Jesse!! That positive attitude will take you far!! You can do this and we are ere to help when you need it!!! Good luck!!
emoticon Lee

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MSLZZY 9/18/2009 7:26AM

    Very positive attittude! Glad you're back in the saddle! Sometimes we all just have to vent and that's OK. The support we get at SP is awesome! So keep on riding down victory lane! emoticon You are a winner!

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S_HANSEN 9/18/2009 7:14AM

    Jesse, I am loving this blog!!! Good for you! I am so impressed that you have decided to get back on track and take control of your life. Good luck to you and I wish you all the successes you could imagine. I know that you can do this! I am confident in you and your ability to succeed! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticonSondra

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BUDANGELO7 9/18/2009 5:55AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticonThe road has many turns, don't beat yourself up. You are doing great! Loved your blog!! Have a great day. Bud

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GOING2LSEITNOW 9/18/2009 4:12AM

    A little whining is a good thing and Spark friends really don't mind. It lets us all know that some days are not going to be that great. Congratulations on getting back to the positive side. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Bad Attitude Leads to Terrible Talk Leads to Falling Off for Good?

Thursday, September 17, 2009

I haven't fallen off the wagon. Still eating healthy despite this current bad attitude. But I have to admit that I am right on the edge. It's like I'm some sort of big immature child who is rebelling against all of the people I'm losing in my life. Yes, I need to get a grip. Yesterday, during my walk, I was telling a friend that eating healthy is boring. That I miss all of the delicious things that real life and real eating provides. That delicious food is one of life's great pleasures. Etc. Etc. I couldn't believe I was spewing such radically different thoughts than what I've been doing healthy since last October! Uh, oh. I told myself not to take those words to heart and follow through on delicious stuff. Yikes!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

S_HANSEN 9/17/2009 10:36PM

    It is funny that you said you were talking to your friend about all of the junk food that you were missing. Of course, you didn't say that it was junk, but you eluded to it. I would rather eat healthy food than junk food. I think you are the same. I think you are just going through a bad time right now. You are human. You will have weeks that are like this. I can almost guarantee that if you went back to eating the food you were saying you miss, you would not feel well, and your mood would get worse. Slow down, take a deep breath and relax for a minute before you do anything rash. I agree with the comment that the gal who lost 100# said that healthy eating is good eating. Hang in there.. I am thinking of you and wishing you successes.

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I-8-2-MUCH 9/17/2009 9:13PM

    I'm so glad your powering your way thru bad thoughts & sticking with it. We all get the attitude sometimes, dieting is hard! With TV commercials showing happy skinny people smiling while stuffing a burger shake & fries down their pie hole, it could make any of us grumpy! Another thing thats makes you grumpy is the old fat thats been breaking down & traveling thru your blood stream. When it gets in the brain, it cause attitude fluctuations. Lack of vitamin D3 is the biggest culprit causing bad attitudes & depression. I take a D3 tablet with green tea & ginsing powder added everyday to get more of the D3 to the brain. After a week you wont believe how much better you feel. Get a little more sunshine too.

Take a look at the Budwig Diet online, thats what I'm on. I'm so jealous of everyone elses diets here! LOL! I can't go out to eat anything because the diet is so strict & the limitations are insane! Strickly fresh organic fruits & vegies ~ nothing processed, no colors added, no additives, no sugars, no bean gums, no preservatives or no oils other than flax & coconut. So many items on the store shelves are organic, but have one or more of these items. I've seen hundreds of organic items, but cant have any of them.

So I make all my own breads, organic cottage cheese & eat practically raw everything, limited organic milk, cheeses & very little organic chicken. All in all tho this diet is so strict, I feel so much better! My aches & pains are going away, my skin looks better, I sleep better, my athsma hasn't been a problem at all & I'm getting creative within the diet limits. It fights cancer - thats the main thing for me.

I'm glad your still here & hope you stay too! When you hit your goal, you'll be so glad you did it all! Never give up - never surrender!

Comment edited on: 9/17/2009 9:15:13 PM

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I-8-2-MUCH 9/17/2009 9:13PM

    Sorry your page got stuck & doubled the reply.

Comment edited on: 9/17/2009 9:13:41 PM

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LEONALIONESS 9/17/2009 3:51PM

    Healthy eating IS real eating. And it IS delicious and one of life's pleasures. I'm digging into some homemade, organic lentil loaf with gravy and local spuds right now and it's delightful. Tonight I'm making seitan stroganoff over pasta. The stroganoff is pretty healthy since it's vegan but it *does* has some rich, fatty soy sour cream in it. I'm just going to use less of that and add a titch more veg worchestershire and some spices. I'll eat one serving with 1 serving or less of pasta and have a nice veg on the side. And a half cup (single serving) of delish mocha fudge soy ice cream for dessert, too!

If you are having trouble with your current diet now is the time to refine that. Since this is a lifestyle choice you need to have a plan you can live with! For me, that means eating the comfort foods and desserts I love - just making smarter choices (ie: less soy sour cream, lighter varieties of vegan dessert/ice creams and watching my portions).

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NPA4LOSS 9/17/2009 3:45PM

    WE all have bad days when everything seems YUCK. Sometimes we get in a rut a eat the same things over and over. Try something new this week from all the new nutritious foods out there and see if that brings a little excitement to your taste buds. It's like looking for treasure. Also Jillian Michael says you need to have a High Calorie day on occasion to boost your metabolism. Don't be too hard on yourself and enjoy the Spark. emoticon

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CAROL_ 9/17/2009 3:01PM

    I am finding the No S Diet works when I do it (see my sparkpage) and you don't have to give up so much, count calories nor journal your food, etc. It's a different kind of giving up. It also makes sense - common sense as in "Grandma's way".

Living this way (the No S Diet way) has now become my next Lifestyle Change goal.

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JLITT62 9/17/2009 2:48PM

    If you don't like what you're doing, you've got to change it up. Healthy eating absolutely doesn't have to be boring! And yes, food should absolutely be pleasurable (but not send us to the hospital or into a food coma, either).

The biggest thing about enjoying the foods you love, to my mind, is planning. You have to plan for them. This is something my husband is probably never, ever going to understand, but it's one of the secrets to my success for sure.

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KIZIDOG 9/17/2009 2:34PM

    I agree don't completely give up what you like. We all have days when we want to completely pig out on other things, but we have worked so hard to be healthy and I for one do not want to go back to that unhealthy person I was. I know that you don't either, But once in awhile go ahead and have something that you like and you won't feel so deprived. Star emoticon

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FLMOMX2 9/17/2009 2:19PM

    I think we all have days (or weeks) like that. I can's offer any better advice than you've already received. Just take care.

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KIMDONN 9/17/2009 1:33PM

    Do not deprive yourself of foods you love. You can still wat what you love in moderation and still lose weight. I always let myself have things so I don;t binge later and it does work. No food should be off limits. I love cherry pie and McDonalds...have I totally given them up NO! I just watch how often I do it and I make sure it is a workout day when I do have it and I always watch how much I have....Good luck to you:)

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HMARTO 9/17/2009 10:57AM

    If you are missing "delicious" foods, I agree with MSLZZY that you shouldn't avoid them altogether.

One of my all time favorites is a cheese tortollini dish that has heavy cream and bacon as a couple of the other ingredients. I still make it (although I am sure that I could make some healtier modifications to it if I tried), but instead of having 3 helpings, I stick to one and eat some extra veggies or a salad with it.

I have done other things like buying bite sized snicker's instead of a whole candy bar. Sometimes a taste is just as good as the whole king sized candy bar.

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MOORECENTURY 9/17/2009 10:48AM

    I definitely feel the same way sometimes. The biggest thing is just not going crazy with those delicious foods and sabatoge all of the hard work you have put in.

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MSLZZY 9/17/2009 10:29AM

    It is so easy to think of all the foods we are to avoid! We get into a mindset that drives us to crave them more. You can enjoy delicious food-just in moderation and once in a while. I give myself treats from time to time and try to space the treats out. I enjoy them even more that way. Ice cream about once a week and I budget it for it so I can stay in range. I give myself
a small portion and then put the rest away. Then temptation is out of sight, out of mind and
out of reach (sorta).
Just plan ahead and keep your goal in sight. Yesterday was a "bad mouth" day.

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Commitment at an All-time Low

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Have to admit that I'm in the slump area again. Got on the scale yesterday, after a terrible August, and am pretty disgusted. I had a perfect record for 10 months and blew it in the 11th month. Will have to get back on the proverbial horse and resume the ride, but my attitude is lousy at the moment.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMYMLE 9/17/2009 1:44AM

    Jesse, It sounds like focusing on the "perfect" record you had before August is making the slip-up that much harder for you. August is just a little blip on the screen in the life-long lifestyle of sparking. It doesn't mean you're a failure or that you'll never reach your goals. You WILL reach your goals if you move past this period of low motivation and lousy attitude.
Hang in there!

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S_HANSEN 9/16/2009 10:36PM

    You can do this! You know you can, because you have been doing it for 10 months! So, you slipped up on the 11th month!! You are human and this is a journey. Do we like to take a step back? NO! But when that happens you pull up your boots by the strapsa and get back to it! You can do this because you deserve this! You are worth this journey! It might be a little bumpy right now, but it will even out!

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JAE_HENNINGTON 9/16/2009 5:08PM

  I hear ya... I am feeling about the same today..but you can do this and so can I

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SHEILAKHS1 9/16/2009 5:03PM

    you can do it!! one small slip up and one bigger step forward thats how it always works...keep your chin up

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FLMOMX2 9/16/2009 3:17PM

    You know the plan. You can do it and a little setback is nothing to stop you from continuing on your goal.

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JLITT62 9/16/2009 12:49PM

    Setbacks are, unfortunately, inevitable. As they say -- trite but true -- doesn't matter how many times you fall, all that matters is that you keep picking yourself back up.

It took me 2 months to lose the weight I gained in just a couple of weeks! But it's off, gone, & done with.

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MSLZZY 9/16/2009 12:43PM

    Pick yourself up and get back to business. You are being honest! You CAN do this! You are
worth it! Just do it! I'll be here cheering you on! emoticon

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PEDIPOD 9/16/2009 11:59AM

    Thank you for being honest and for letting us help!
That August slump was my own blog yesterday -- let the cooler weather help re-energize you and just do one little new thing each day -- like run hard in place for a whole minute or walk around the block or buy edamame pods and have a healthy snack or a bag of baby carrots to snack away.
Let us help!

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ARTHURTOM 9/16/2009 11:42AM


Don't throw out your plan. Don't make drastic and or unrealistic changes.


Be flexible enough with your plan that you can live...and grieve and go about the things you need to do for yourself over and above your physical appearance.


...can reappear in anyone's plan and it doesn't mean that you failed.


Look to your friends for strength when you feel weak or unsure. I'm here (as well as others) for you.


Comment edited on: 9/16/2009 11:45:11 AM

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Life's Trivialities Compared to Life & Death Issues

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I was so absorbed with having my weigh-in after a really bad month in August. I'm ready to throw that darn scale away as it's really ridiculous to put so much importance on numbers. Especially when more bad news came in today that another aunt has only a couple of weeks left, and one of my terminally ill friends is in the hospital. And I'm worried about the scale? I guess I'm just too overwhelmed at the moment to make any sense in a blog. Another emotional rush as I brace myself to lose more people.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMYMLE 9/17/2009 1:49AM

    Jesse, I read this after the other one. I'm so sorry that so many people close to you have died or are losing the battle with terminal illnesses. No wonder your attitude towards sparking is so low right now. You have so many other "weighty" matters on your mind.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FLMOMX2 9/15/2009 12:56PM

    Sorry to hear about your stresses. The scale is minor by comparison. Take care.

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MORGANSMOM52 9/15/2009 9:02AM

    Life goes on. Except for being there for others, you can do nothing about their circumstances. The scale is not the most important thing in life, but it has it's place for you and you have to live with you for the rest of your life. So, you put everything in it's perspectively proper place and go on with life. My heart goes out to you for your impending losses.

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MSLZZY 9/15/2009 7:54AM

    The scale does seem pretty minor in the light of your bad news. I will pray for you and your family. This is a wake-up call to put your priorities in order. Life is too short to worry about
a number on the scale.

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HICALGAL 9/15/2009 4:12AM

    sometimes we need that jolt to remind us of what's more important. we live and learn! emoticon

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"Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" (from Spamalot)

Monday, September 14, 2009

Never a Monty Python fan, but the show came to town and one of my Spfriends let me know it's a terrific show. I got a great deal on the ticket. Well, honestly, I'm still smiling. Great music, great sets and costumes. Wonderful energy. Absurd humor, which is right up my alley. Below are some great lyrics that reminded me that I have spent the last two years in the sad, tearful, griefstricken side of life. Now I'm learning to handle all that, and remembering what I've always done best - laugh and make others laugh (without even trying -smiling).

Before I type the few lines from the song, I want to thank my sparkfriends for their warm, touching responses to my blog yesterday. As usual, kind hearts were very helpful in keeping me reality-based. And, yes, I'm delaying my weigh-in one more day - until tomorrow - so that I can get more exercise in before stepping on that dastardly scale.

Here goes, everyone sing along...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle-that's the thing.
And always look on the Bright Side of Life.

Just like that new CW song (I don't remember who does it), where his friend is sitting in a bar, rattling off all of his problems. And the singer's refrain, "Sounds like life to me." Yup, that's the boat we're on. So, enjoy the ride, regardless of what's happenin.

Have a happy day, sparkfriends.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSLZZY 9/14/2009 3:16PM

    Thanks for the lyrics-cute!
Maybe the dastardly scale will be kind tomorrow! One never knows! emoticon

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FLMOMX2 9/14/2009 7:57AM

    Thanks for the smile. emoticon

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LYNNZEE81 9/14/2009 2:11AM

    That song always makes me smile emoticon

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