Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Have to admit that I'm in the slump area again. Got on the scale yesterday, after a terrible August, and am pretty disgusted. I had a perfect record for 10 months and blew it in the 11th month. Will have to get back on the proverbial horse and resume the ride, but my attitude is lousy at the moment.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
I was so absorbed with having my weigh-in after a really bad month in August. I'm ready to throw that darn scale away as it's really ridiculous to put so much importance on numbers. Especially when more bad news came in today that another aunt has only a couple of weeks left, and one of my terminally ill friends is in the hospital. And I'm worried about the scale? I guess I'm just too overwhelmed at the moment to make any sense in a blog. Another emotional rush as I brace myself to lose more people.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Never a Monty Python fan, but the show came to town and one of my Spfriends let me know it's a terrific show. I got a great deal on the ticket. Well, honestly, I'm still smiling. Great music, great sets and costumes. Wonderful energy. Absurd humor, which is right up my alley. Below are some great lyrics that reminded me that I have spent the last two years in the sad, tearful, griefstricken side of life. Now I'm learning to handle all that, and remembering what I've always done best - laugh and make others laugh (without even trying -smiling).
Before I type the few lines from the song, I want to thank my sparkfriends for their warm, touching responses to my blog yesterday. As usual, kind hearts were very helpful in keeping me reality-based. And, yes, I'm delaying my weigh-in one more day - until tomorrow - so that I can get more exercise in before stepping on that dastardly scale.
Here goes, everyone sing along...
If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle-that's the thing.
And always look on the Bright Side of Life.
Just like that new CW song (I don't remember who does it), where his friend is sitting in a bar, rattling off all of his problems. And the singer's refrain, "Sounds like life to me." Yup, that's the boat we're on. So, enjoy the ride, regardless of what's happenin.
Have a happy day, sparkfriends.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
I may even delay it until Tuesday, that's how much I'm dreading facing reality. To make a long story short, I've not weighed for a few weeks due to a very bad month of August. After 11 months eating healthier, I backslid more than I'd thought possible. Explained it to myself (nice way of saying rationalized - smiling) that it still wasn't "like the old days" of being a piglet. And that it was the one year anniversary of three deaths of relatives (three friends passed about 1.5 years ago, with another two close to me being terminally ill). Maybe I subconsciously ate my way out of the sadness? I don't know. I'm learning to deal with that better, and have gotten back on the right track with my eating. However, I've delayed the scale in order not to get blown away by the hard evidence of my transgressions. Yikes! Yes, I know it's not the only measure of success (or lack thereof), but still an important one. I'll just have to be brave and get it done to see where I stand. Wishing all of my Spfriends a fun day.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
I've never had to worry about weight until about four years ago. I was the person who could eat any quantity of food at any time of the day and not gain a pound. Then, tons of things happened... hormonal changes, mega-stress, less activity as I spent more time working, and yes, continuing to eat as I had throughout my life. In other words, being a piglet. Amazing that I wasn't twice the size when I started this lifestyle change in October '08!
Okay, sure, I've understood the concepts that this is a lifestyle change, enjoy the journey, and all the similar ways of looking at eating better. But being an "all or none" type of gal, I have recently realized that if I just call it a lifestyle change, my psyche doesn't take it all that seriously.
Yes, I have to now call it a diet as well. There are things I simply cannot eat in moderation, no matter how I try to engender a new approach. I have to do the tough love thing with myself so that I can really buckle down and get these final 20 lbs. off.
I read articles advising not to deprive ourselves. To just eat a small portion of this and that yummy stuff. Oh how I've tried. There is no "little bit" with me. There's either none - or the entire box. Sad, but true.
Perhaps when I am further along than this 11-month period of changes in eating behaviors, I may someday be able to eat some of "those" things in moderation. I may actually learn that as a goal. But at this moment, the only way is to make this a diet - as well as a lifestyle change. I have to be kind of a drill sergeant with myself. (smiling)
Have a fun weekend, Spfriends.
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