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SLIMMERJESSE's Recent Blog Entries

Hanging in there is the best I can do for now

Monday, July 13, 2009

That pretty much says it all. Tough times, but I'm back on-track. Just doing the best I can. Yes, it's important to learn lifelong eating habits, but there is so much that is more critical in daily life than constantly thinking of exercise and weight loss.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NOCALORIES 7/14/2009 2:47AM

    Your hanging in there is amazing. You have had the rug pulled out from under you. So look around, you have many sparkfriends who admire you. You may feel as though you are falling into the deep down under; however stretch out your fingers and someone will lift you up with an encouraging word to help you keep from sinking. You are loved the beautiful lady you are.

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QUILTINGB52 7/13/2009 5:36AM

    Yes, when life gets in the way ~ we keep working on progression. Hang in there and just take it one baby step at a time ~ we CAN make this a healthy journey ~ together!!!

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HICALGAL 7/13/2009 3:43AM

    when you get tired of hanging...i'm here to support you. all the best!

spark emoticon emoticon emoticon


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ROSSIGIRL44 7/13/2009 12:48AM

  You are true that life does give us more critical things to do in a days time then thinking of diet and exercise. Just try and find some sort of balance. It is hard to stick to healthy eating when you are stress/anxious. Just try and be aware of the your habits when it comes to food/exercise. It's a learning game--just take it one step at a time. Just continue to do the best that you can do. That is what's important.. :) Rossi

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Today's Tidal Wave of Grief & How I fell off the Wagon for the First Time Since October '08

Sunday, July 12, 2009

It was bound to happen. I had to celebrate my son's birthday today, and then this morning I received very bad news. My dearest friend/cousin who is like a sister to me took a turn for the worst. On Monday, she will know how quickly the clock is really ticking now and whether I should fly there to be with her. My heart has been broken for a long time over her illness as she's already dealt with breast cancer 12 years ago, and now suffering from a much more ominous cancer. Well, I ate with semi-abandon today. Honestly, I don't regret it at all as part of the birthday festivities. But I also must admit that I did so while being very stern with my psyche that this did not mean that I would stay off-track. And I got an hour of exercise in, so I'm back on-track from now on. If I have to leave this week, I will not be on SP, but that is the least of my worries. I hope they hold my page open for a bit of time before wiping it off the system.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARTYLP 7/14/2009 12:40AM

    Sorry to hear about your cousin. I'm sending my prayers out to the both of you. Don't give up and don't worry about your page it will be their. Be safe. emoticon

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MARTY19 7/12/2009 4:30PM

    I am sending prayers that you can hold off the grief and enjoy any remaining time with her. It is this quality time the will be freshest in your mind.
We all fall off the wagon, but you climbed right back on so that is a good thing.


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DARLENEK04 7/12/2009 2:37PM

  Sorry to hear about your cousin being ill.
It is always painful when someone we care
about is ill.
Stay strong....

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ARTHURTOM 7/12/2009 2:16PM

    Kind, warm loving thoughts from me to you.

I've seen pages that haven't had activity on them since January, so I would believe your page is safe for quite a while.

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NIKALE 7/12/2009 10:56AM

  Take a breath. Close your eyes and take another... a really deep one. Take as many as you need to find a place of calm.

Focus your energy on your cousin. She needs you to be strong and healthy for her, and for your son, and for yourself too.

Breathe again and find some quiet in your mind and your heart.

Take care. My thoughts are with you all.

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ALEXSGIRL1 7/12/2009 10:53AM

    i am sending you hugs and prayers for you and your friend in this difficult could write to the sparkguy or maybe message boards tec sites to see how long they leave your page up with no activity. maybe you could find a library somewhere for a quick update to keep you on. wishing you well. emoticon

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Happy Birthday to My Son

Saturday, July 11, 2009

I've lost two out of three. I'm blessed to have him left, so this is a special birthday for me. It's been one of those types of lives where everything seems to go wrong. Better luck next time? (smiling)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALEXSGIRL1 7/11/2009 10:11AM

    happy birthday to your son. life is very hard and complicated and i don't know why some of us seem to have a harder time,due to no fault of are own. maybe god realizes were stronger and gives us more. i don't know ,but i always believed he gives us the strength to deal with anything that comes our way,and the ability to be positive and enjoy the life we have no matter how hard it is. emoticon

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RICH530 7/11/2009 9:42AM

    Happy Birthday to you son!!! Enjoy your day!!
emoticon Lee

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When Life Comes Crashing Down, My Eating Doesn't Have to Accompany It

Friday, July 10, 2009

Yesterday was the ultimate bad day. I won't bother with the details because living through it once is enough without breathing life into the memories. However, it was one thing after another to deal with. Additionally, I have two loved ones who are struggling with terminal illnesses and one is now very, very ill. Which is breaking my heart. I've never been much of an emotional eater, but yesterday would have been when I'd have signed up to become one. However, my head got a hold of my heart and kept me on the right track. Food would not have changed a single thing, had I indulged. Oh wait, it would have... it would have started me down the fatness freeway again. Here's to you, sparkfriends. Keep on keeping on and thanks always for your support, advice and encouragement.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RICH530 7/10/2009 1:14PM

    Sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time. You are right though, eating would not have changed anything but the accomplishments you have already made! You have worked hard to get where you are! Good for you for staying on track!!
emoticon Lee

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KATFRIN 7/10/2009 1:12PM

    You've done really well to think of your long term goals in such a stressfull situation. Well done on not falling into that habit.

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ARTHURTOM 7/10/2009 11:34AM

    The rough days do make it seem so much easier to start shoving things in the old kisser. I know there are times when I pass my favorite pizzeria and the combination of a bad day and the smell of my favorite cuisine gets my mind to rolling thinking "one pizza" won't hurt!

It is then that I go and drink a few glasses of water, sit down and look at pictures of where I was at and pictures of now and more 1 more pizza won't hurt.

Positive thoughts to you Jesse on your current mindset and stay strong...look at pictures of yourself from before and current if you have to before you entertain emotional eating. Think of your hard work and dedication to this point.


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ALEXSGIRL1 7/10/2009 11:21AM

    sorry you are going through a very hard time right now. glad you did not turn to food . i hope you have a little time to exercise to get rid of the stress you are now under. remember to take time to take care of you. i am sending hugs and prayers your way.

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RUBYSNANA 7/10/2009 9:45AM

    You were so smart to realize that eating would not have fixed anything and would have made you miserable instead. I am an emotional eater and sometimes I am not so strong, so give yourself a big pat on the back! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon We are all proud of you!

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I Want to Be One of those People Who Post "I Lost ___ lbs by Walking"

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Yesterday, I posted that I've been working hard, but gained two pounds anyway. I received a lot of great advice, including that I should change it up when it comes to exercise. If that's the case, how am I reading all of these success stories about people who lost it by walking, walking, and walking some more? Also, I need to divorce my scale. It is driving me crazy. I'll put it aside for a couple of weeks and just concentrate on eating right and activity level.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

S_HANSEN 7/9/2009 4:12PM

    You will be one of those people, but I have to agree with Sheltilady... You normally cannot lose hundreds of pounds just by walking. You must increase muscle mass and watch what you eat. You can do this. Take it one day at a time. We are all rooting for you to succeed, and I for one know that you are going to! emoticonSondra

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SHELTIELADY 7/9/2009 9:09AM

    If you read the blogs about how people lost ____ lbs. walking, you might notice that they don't say "only walking". They usually start out "just" walking but then when they hit that area your in now they add some strength training in as well.

Your really doing great but it sounds like you just need to "kick it up a notch" .

Bands are cheap, easy to use and travel well. Spark has some good videos of band workouts So why not add that a couple times a week and see what happens? Hopefully you will be pleasantly surprised. Sure can't hurt!

As for that scale. Awful old things aren't they? I actually had to hide mine in the closet. LOL Drove myself insane with them (OK, now everybody knows what did it. LOL)

I hope the next blog you write is titled "BAM, I added some spice". Can you tell I watch a lot of food network shows? LOL

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HICALGAL 7/9/2009 7:42AM

    i intend to be one of those people who lost weight by walking as well as controlling my food intake. i vary the distance, time and intensity of my walks. i take measurements, go by how my clothes fit and weigh myself to keep abreast of my progress. all the best to you too!!!

spark emoticon emoticon


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RICH530 7/9/2009 7:12AM

    Most of the time that scale is not our friend!!! Remember to use it as a number not as a goal!! maybe adding a bit of ST will help to shake things up. Good luck!!
emoticon Lee

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ARTHURTOM 7/9/2009 6:39AM

    Jesse, I can tell you that I weigh myself once a week, on Thursday. No matter what the result, I just enter it on my private journal and it goes to a spreadsheet and graph so I can view the overall fluctuations in weight and I have it tied in with my nutrition as well. I set this up when I started in 2007 on my computer in Word and Excel. It was my own personal spark people as I didn't know that this site existed.

I never let the numbers get me too high or too low emotionally but only twice during the whole time that I've been doing what I've been doing.

The first time was in January of 2008. I stepped on the scale (I always weigh on the digital doctors scale at the gym) and it read 366 pounds. I went home from the gym that day and my thoughts were "How could I have let myself get so damned big?" and I cried myself to sleep that day.

The second time was late June 2008 when I stepped on that very same scale and my weight was 299. I had a euphoric feeling engulf my entire being that day as the numbers finally went below 300 pounds. Opening up my journal, the exact date was June 25, 2008.

That day was a bittersweet day of sorts. About a month before, on May 30, 2008 we had an interment ceremony and memorial service for Colleen. I had so badly wanted to be under 300 pounds for that service as she had been on me about my exploding weight for the better part of the last year of her life. I weighed around 310 pounds at that service and realized then (as I had all along) that if I stayed true to what I was doing, the numbers wouldn't matter, as they still really don't get me too high or too low emotionally, even as I approach weights that I haven't seen in almost 17 years.

Stick with your nutrition. Stick with your activity. Don't adjust it to how much you think you should lose.

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MSTELZER 7/9/2009 2:22AM

    Put that nasty old scale away for awhile - good for you!!!!! As for the walking thing - some people are just differnent than others. I too am one who couldn't loose weight by just walking and the reason was I needed to raise my metabolism. Some just have to get the heart pumping and sweat to raise the metabolism and loose the weight! Hang in there as the walking sure doesn't hurt though!


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