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Being Totally Honest w/ Myself As to Why No Progress in a Lonnnnng Time

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Okay, so I've been on SP for 4.5 months. I've lost a couple of pounds (came here having lost a bunch already), and maintained, so that's not such bad "progress." I've also celebrated going down 3 pant sizes. However, I've been telling myself that I've been on a plateau. No plateau lasts this long, so taking a completely honest inventory of the situation, here goes.

I lost 33 lbs and subconsciously started allowing myself bigger portions. Allowing myself little treats (even though they were healthy ones). Allowing night munching (although I've learned to keep that within calorie range so no harm done). Allowing a bit more eating out as holidays got more frequent.
Allowing myself to purchase addidtional exercise equipment, telling myself I'll use them more (but not doing as much as I should). Okay, and allowing myself more items (still healthy, but not great) as a "reward." Oh, I already mentioned this last one, so I guess it's worth repeating so I reinforce that this is a problem.

The hard, cold reality of the story is that if I don't recommit RIGHT NOW, I will spiral into bad habits. More bad habits. Then the scale will show gain, I'll get discouraged, and that's how the spiral starts.

This is why blogs are so great. I can visually see what I've said and done in the past, where I started to slip and slide, and how I can recommit to my progress. It's all good.

I'm just tired of this fat. So tired of it, and I want it off. That's what I have to remember during the slip and slide times. All the best to my SPfriends "out there."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BABYFACE26 6/18/2009 12:33PM

    I applaud you, for being brutally honest with yourself, but you are also way too harsh and critical. You are down 3 pants sizes, in less than 5 mos.
I think that is phenomenol. You have worked on changing bad eating habits, and you have succeeded, to a large extent. (no pun intended)....
....I also believe, that the Slower you lose it, the more apt you are to not gain it back. The body gets used to being smaller and lighter.
You CAN do this. (I am speaking to myself here too)

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BINEMELLES 6/15/2009 3:45AM

    wow. just yesterday i had a chat with one of my long-term SP friends (yes, i have discovered the IM feature!) and we talked about our struggles and how we sabotage ourselves by not being totally honest with ourselves. i am guilty of exactly the same thing.
i know it's important to be proud of our victories and to reward ourselves, but somewhere along the way, close to my goal, i eased up too much and started "rewarding" myself waaay too much. i gain six or seven pounds, then i panic, recommit, lose a few, take a deep breath once i have passed that 154 (the 70 on my kilo scale), and ease up again. that way i'm never going to reach my goal.
i, too, need to totally recommit myself and get permanently below 150, and to my goal eventually.
thank you for this brutally honest post. you inspired me more than can imagine.

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MARTY19 6/14/2009 3:52PM

    How great that you have noticed this and are working to change it. You can and will do it.

Marty

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Why I'm Not Going to An Award-Winning Buffet Today

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Oh my. I was invited to a top buffet at a local casino. At first, I said, sure. Figured I could just be moderate. But hey, I'm an "all or none" type gal and I remember the days prior to 8 months ago, when this buffet was one of my fave haunts. So, I do not want to open that door again. Especially since I've been kinda down in the dumps lately, it would be tempting to say, "what the hay, why not?" (smiling)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PROMETHIAL 6/13/2009 2:41PM

    The wondrous thing about buffets is the prominence of the salad bar of course. They really want you to load up on the cheap stuff and not the prime rib. Hence the wonderful greens to be had.

Though if you dont feel comfortable I can understand that. After having spent too many years in Vegas, I dont actually enjoy most of the buffets anymore. Crappy food but lots of choices of crappy food.

The better buffets were the brunches and such. The spendier ones anyways. Those tended to be worth it with better choices and fruit available.

You'll probably find the buffet easier once you know you can handle yourself and pre-plan out what you are going to have just like any other restaurant.



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AMYISSUCCEEDING 6/13/2009 8:59AM

    Good Job for making the right choice. Hope you are feeling better. Take it easy today and do something special for yourself because you deserve it.
Amy
emoticon

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RICH530 6/13/2009 8:38AM

    emoticon on a great choice!!! Those choices are not easy so good for you!! Who knows maybe one day you will be able to go again and know just what you can eat!! Have a good day!!

emoticon Lee

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MRSWIGGLY6 6/13/2009 8:19AM

    Great willpower! Buffetts can lead our eyeballs in every direction. Hopefully one day you will be able to make choices even at a buffet to know what you can have, etc.

Marilyn

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KYREE90 6/13/2009 6:48AM

    Congratulations ... I, too, find that it's best for me to avoid buffets because when I go to one, I eat WAY too much. (I have that whole "I need to get my money's worth" mindset working against me. Plus, I want to try a little of everything.)

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BINEMELLES 6/13/2009 5:16AM

    well, i guess that's a very wise and brave move - if you think you wouldn't have stopped after a couple of bites of the few healthy coices of the buffet.
sorry to hear you're still feeling in the dumps. hope that you'll be picking up a fresh breeze in your sails soon!

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Why I Actually Enjoy Grocery Shopping Now (After a lifetime of otherwise)

Friday, June 12, 2009

Simple pleasures. As I drove home from the store today, I couldn't help but make a mental note to blog about the fact that healthy food does NOT have to be expensive. Where did my (previous) dislike of grocery shopping start? One big reason was the feeling of being held hostage to high food prices at major chain supermarkets. Another was that the food qaulity was not all that great. However, about six months ago, a store called Fresh and Easy moved into my neighborhood. Life hasn't been the same since. I can get fresh, organic stuff that tastes wonderful, and is very inexpensive. Today I had three big, heavy bags full of food - $18 total!!!!!! Tell me that isn't fantastic! To add to my delight, Trader Joes has just opened near my home a few weeks ago. This is another incredible store, and one that makes eating healthy food a great adventure from start to finish. Seems funny to rave about grocery stores and food, but frankly, my weekly bill is at least half of what it used to be. And the food quality is 100 percent better!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

S_HANSEN 6/12/2009 3:26PM

    I am a huge fan of Trader joes and do most of my shopping there, but it can add up. I would love to have the other store you mentioned. That sounds just incredible! Good for you for buying good for you food to fuel your body and soul. Have a terrific weekend... emoticonSondra

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PROMETHIAL 6/12/2009 2:46PM

    I miss all the choices I had living in Henderson/Las Vegas. :)

It's all good though. I just make the best choices from HEB and WallyWorld (the only two grocery options within 30 miles of here) and make the best of it.

I agree on the Fresh and Easy. They just opened about a year before I left there. Was nice store. And no where near as silly as Whole Paycheck.



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STAYCIVIL 6/12/2009 1:39PM

  That is too awesome - my boyfriend works at Trader Joe's and Fresh & Easy and I LOVE cooking at his place. He's in Nevada where these kind of stores are and I'm in Texas. Central Market and Whole Foods are wonderful, but you'll go broke if you buy more than 3 things at one time.

I love grocery shopping, too, and I am seriously very happy for you. Anything that makes healthy eating easier is something to celebrate!

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KALATHIA 6/12/2009 8:23AM

    Happy Shopping!

Kathy

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BINEMELLES 6/12/2009 6:29AM

    i experienced the same revelation when i moved to this place right across the street from a bi-weekly street market.
i now make it my personal challenge to go out there twice a week with a 10 euro note and come back with as much fresh fruit and veggies as i can - sometimes so much that i'm having a hard time carrying it!

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Sadness Sometimes Makes Me Wanna Say

Thursday, June 11, 2009

I have two very close friends who are very ill. (terminally ill. both have bone marrow cancer) They've been struggling with unspeakable pain and misery, and I've tried to help and be there for them,but feel very helpless and sad over their plight. It has affected me deeply, on top of my own daily challenges. Some days the sadness tidal waves me. And I just think, why bother with all this weight stuff? Of course, I know all the reasons why I need to bother. But sometimes the sadness makes me not care. And just want to stuff my piehole. (smiling)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NATURALSOAPGIRL 6/11/2009 11:30AM

    You are sad for them - it's understandable. Grief is very powerful. But letting it take over robs you of what you could be doing with that time. Spend time with them, take pics, make a scrapbook, journal about it. Find something to do other than eating - something that requires using your hands. And remember - you need to take care of you to reduce the risks of something health-related happening to you. None of us know when cancer, diabetes, heart problems, etc might be around the corner. But by exercising, eating right and trying to reduce stress, we are also reducing our chances of serious illness. Prevent your family from going through that kind of grief over you by taking care of yourself now.

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CAROL_ 6/11/2009 8:14AM

    You are going through the grief cycle. It's understandable. I recently made a comittment to take care of the little girl inside of me. It is helping me when "I don't want to do it for myself". I am her guardian and parent and have to treat her right . . .

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MRSWIGGLY6 6/11/2009 7:32AM

    You know your not alone in these feelings what so ever. But you know what think of it this way. If your friends was healthy would you feel the same way? You need to become healthy for yourself. If you do slide stop and think what do I want to do give up or keep moving forward. This is a learning process, just like walking for the first time.

Keep positive if you let the negective thoughts overcome you as you will go backwards instead of forwards. You can do this along with all of us here. Your not ever alone in your feelings and we support you.

Marilyn

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BINEMELLES 6/11/2009 5:33AM

    oh, i know those days and weeks, and i feel for you!
but remember, you need to take good care of yourself. it sometimes feels lame to obsess about a few calories or an exercise session when people you love are in pain. but that's no reason not to stay healthy yourself.
sending you lots of hugs! emoticon

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KYREE90 6/11/2009 2:31AM

    We all feel that way sometimes. The important thing, which you seem to already realize, is to not give in to those feelings ... or if you do for a meal, get right back on track for your next one.

I like to repeat something I read in a magazine article: Every minute is a chance to start over.

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MESSYBEAUTIFUL 6/11/2009 12:56AM

    Always remember you are not alone with thoes feelings. Keep your chin up and good luck

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Some Days I Just Feel Like Taking a Break

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Honestly, I don't feel like blogging, or journaling food/exercise. And I've been thinking of taking a "break" for a few days. But I know that this is not a good way to think, and taking a break can lead to backsliding. During the hard times, it's even more important to push myself to keep on keeping on.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRSWIGGLY6 6/11/2009 9:05PM

    Jesse maybe you need to set smaller goals for yourself. When we put so much pressure on our self is where we go wrong. I know you are going through some really tough times with your friends right now. It isn't easy to watch someone suffer. I know as I watched my father. It isn't easy as there isn't anything we can do to relieve the pain. But really to think about it there is and that is being there for them. My daddy's eyes would light up when I walked into the room I knew he was in pain but talking to him keep his mind off the pain. I liked the idea that someone gave you in your earlier blog. Making a scrap book of memories. Something that you might enjoy doing.

You want to do this for you right? You can still do this for you, just maybe not so gun ho! Take your time, slow the pace a little. If it is taking a few days off but make yourself get back to it. Guess what I don't journal every day either because honestly I run out of time in the day. But I have know what I don't need and what I shouldn't. I feel healthier now than I have in years. I can do more things now than I used to. Changing our diet and exercise all in one swoop can be overwelming. So if we gradually add things into our lives it doesn't make our life so complicated. I was so worried about getting 20 mins of exercise in everyday all at once and someone wise said why are you stressing over doing it all at once. I couldn't answer except burn calories. Well this person said you will burn calories regardless if you break it up in 15 mins. Maybe 15 mins in the mornings and 15 mins in the afternoon. That made so much since to me. I tried it and eventually I was adding mins to those 15 mins. That wise person was my father.

Marilyn

Comment edited on: 6/11/2009 9:07:01 PM

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NATURALSOAPGIRL 6/11/2009 11:25AM

    Maybe take a break from some things but not others. for instance - still exercise but take it easy. do a 30 minute walk or something - and don't track it if you don't want to. Still eat healthy but don't track it. Take off the rest of the week and the weekend but PROMISE yourself that you'll get back to it on Monday. You have to set some guidelines ahead of time when doing something like this. My personal thought is to just push through it, but I don't know what you may be dealing with in your life and you might just need a break so you don't get burnt out. But like i said - write down a few guidelines and post it on your fridge as a reminder.

1 - Eat well, but don't worry about tracking food until Monday, June 15th.
2 - Take a nice walk (not a stroll) 30 minutes each day, but don't worry about tracking until Monday, June 15th.
3 - Drink as much water as I should to flush out any extra toxins or sodium.
4 - Do at least one nice thing for myself each day (buy some wildflowers and put them in a vase, take a nice bath, light some candles, listen to relaxing music that I haven't listened to in a long time, etc)

I think once you get past this little burnout stage you can come back will full steam. Just be smart about it so it doesn't lead to sabotage.

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SKYEFYR 6/11/2009 11:16AM

  Taking a break is not necessarily a bad thing. We all have days when we just don't want to look at the stupid computer screen. It depends on how you approach it. I have little time most weekends to spend on the computer, so I just don't do it. I keep a pad at the table and jot down what I eat, and make sure that come Monday (or if I get a chance over the weekend) it all goes into my tracker. Best of both worlds. I enjoy the downtime with the family while still staying accountable. Maybe that would work for you?

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HARLYCHIC14 6/10/2009 9:50PM

    We all have those days. I've had plenty myself. This journey will have its ups and downs, but take it one day at a time. Making a lifestyle change is a huge deal. Take a small break and then get back to it.

Brandi

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S_HANSEN 6/10/2009 9:25PM

    I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I feel like that or have felt like that, but you are right... we do back slide if we take too much time away. Our minds play tricks on us and makes us think that it is okay to eat just one of those, and just one of these... so, take a deep breath and take a bit of a break and then go back to tracking... I wish you luck and happiness... emoticonSondra

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RICH530 6/10/2009 9:09PM

    We all feel like that at times!! You are not alone!! Maybe take one day off of one thing! Try not posting a blog for one day. You will probably find that you actually miss it!! In any case take things slow, small steps will get you there!! Good luck to you!!
emoticon Lee

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CAROL_ 6/10/2009 7:39PM

    Try picking ONE lifestyle change, breaking it up into baby steps, then focusing on and committing to just one baby step. Sometimes we make it too hard by looking at the global picture when we haven't gotten that far yet.

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