Getting A Little Cocky and Complacent

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Yesterday was a rare day of rebellion. I was hungry. I didn't want to deal with calories, weight issues, or whatever. Didn't eat junky stuff, but did ingest more than usual. It was like I needed a vacation day from just thinking about all this stuff constantly. I went back to the store and tried the next lower size pants on - which will be 4 sizes down instead of 3. It fits around me, but cannot zip, so that's very inspiring. That means I have to get off this plateau in order to make it zip cause I still have 17 lbs to go. Some days there's a dangerous thought that creeps into my consciousness - OKAY, I'LL JUST BE HAPPY WHERE I'M AT NOW AND MAINTAIN. THIS AMT. OF LOSS IS GOOD ENOUGH. Yikes, that's not the way to think. Never fear, though, I am back in the saddle today and back from my "vacation" day off. I do NOT want to ever be chubby again.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CORNPICKER73 5/18/2009 6:37AM

I can TOTALLY relate to that feeling-- of just wanting to not think about it any more. Hang in there, you are doing so great, you will break this plateau and reach your goals! Thanks for sharing this. Report Inappropriate Comment

BEFIT013 5/18/2009 12:44AM

GO, JESSE, GO!!!!!!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

AMYMLE 5/17/2009 11:08PM

Jesse, It seems to me that an acknowledged vacation can be a good thing. Even the term "vacation" means you know you'll come back "home." Keeping those 4 size smaller pants in mind might give you more inspiration to keep strong with your original goal weight and up your game to get off that plateau. Good luck! (This is for your "vacation.") Report Inappropriate Comment

SPARKLESSENCE 5/17/2009 3:45PM

Jesse, if you keep shining that light of awareness on your priorities, you won't regain that weight. The fact that you were aware of eating more yesterday and that you felt somewhat uncomfortable about it illustrates this. Also, were you more active yesterday than you usually are? I've found - and so have other Sparksters - that increased activity can rev up the appetite. As long as you stayed accountable, you were on the right track. My years (!!) of experience have taught me that as long as we hop right back onto that figurative saddle, we'll continue to do well - not to worry. - Sara Report Inappropriate Comment

How People Treated Me When I was Chubby vs. Thin

Saturday, May 16, 2009

I'd been thin and active all my life - up until a few years ago when a combination of things tidal-waved me and packed on the pounds. These included hormonal changes, lots of stress, less activity due to more time spent working, etc. You get the drift. With the extra weight on, I was invisible to society in every way. No smiles, compliments, and a totally different way of relating to me in both professional and personal situations. Now that I am headed back down, I see the difference even more blatantly. It's night and day. Unreal how so many people are overweight, yet we are treated as though we have two heads. Yikes!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANN**08** 5/18/2009 1:19AM

That is only the tip of the iceburg. If you had been overweight most of your life you would know people think they have the right to critique you whenever and whereever. I have had workers in stores ask me to leave the juniors section because they didn't have anything to fit me. I was buying a dress for my size 4 cousin to wear to my wedding! She not only asked me to leave 3 times but her boss asked me to leave also. Either people ignore you or they are intensely cruel. It is the last bastion for prejudice that no one will address. I have lost weight and everyone is different. Then you gain it and people around you get comfortable again. The fat chick is back in place. It is amazing! They will do anything to make sure you don't change and they are out of their comfort zone. Co-workers used to bring sweets- my weakness- to work when I would be doing really well just to get me to mess up. It happens! It's normal! Report Inappropriate Comment

SPARKLESSENCE 5/16/2009 8:55PM

Ahh, Jesse...it's so sad - so shallow, too - the way this happens, isn't it? Weight loss can be a real litmus test. Those who ignored us at a higher weight who suddenly become effusive and friendly are often phony and superficial. Those who have treated us well no matter what show real promise as good, sincere friends. I really treasure such people, and I know you do, too. - Sara Report Inappropriate Comment

ISHIIGIRL 5/16/2009 6:24PM

yup, sounds pretty common. People will look right through you when you are chubby+ but when you are a normal size all of a sudden you become more than just a "customer". It is a sad commentary on our society when we judge people so much on looks. Report Inappropriate Comment

ARTHURTOM 5/16/2009 2:25PM

I too have noticed this pattern of behavior from others, most notably, in my taxi with my fares. When I was driving my taxi with my belly hitting the steering wheel, not too many of my fares took notice of me. Now that I'm somewhat in a good physical condition, some of my female passengers are throwing themselves at me. Through this I have to maintain a professional attitude and reaffirm that the relationship we have is a business one that will not turn into an interpersonal one. I don't want to take advantage of anyone, let alone a drunken woman that if I were as I was before wouldn't give me a second thought. It is a delicate balance dealing with others and my new physical frame because for as different as I look, my emotions are pretty much the same as they were 2 years ago if not longer. I just want to make sure that I don't fall into that trap myself. Hopefully we will not judge others based on their judgments of us based on our past and current appearances. Tim Comment edited on: 5/16/2009 2:27:15 PM Report Inappropriate Comment

The Power of Sparkfriends (And a Special Thank you)

Friday, May 15, 2009

There have been so many days when I've hit a bump. Not the kind of "I give up" bump, but still dangerous because giving into bad attitude can be a slippery slope for me. The sparkfriends who've taken the time to visit my blogs/page and comment have been invaluable in my path to success so far. Not only for their advice and wisdom, but also for their kindness and understanding. It is really a marvel when I open my page and read something that brings me back to reality. The more I learn about this healthy lifestyle, the more I realize is left to learn. It's truly a lifelong commitment and one that I am so glad I started 7 months ago. And thank you to all of my friends who've helped along the way. You are truly appreciated. That includes the new folks who just happen to drop by, it's so nice to have someone take a few minutes out of their day to share their experience. It's all good.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BINEMELLES 5/17/2009 11:35AM

jesse, i have thoroughly enjoyed being a part of your lifestyle change, and i am SO proud of you! Report Inappropriate Comment

SPARKLESSENCE 5/15/2009 10:01PM

Jesse, you've really made some dramatic and deep changes in your life of all kinds in those past 7 months! Most of all, you have an enhanced sense of self-awareness - and that's a surefire asset to help make these healthy changes permanent! You rock!!! - Sara Report Inappropriate Comment

4ANEWME2DAY 5/15/2009 12:05PM

It is such a great feeling to reach out to others and know they are reaching back with such support that is unconditional. I'm glad you asked for help. Your SparkFriend, Lise Report Inappropriate Comment

2010TRIATHLETE 5/15/2009 11:15AM

I so agree with you! Although I have support from my husband & family, there is nothing like logging in to SP & chatting with people who are going through the same thing. They can offer advice, support & information that is priceless! Good luck on your journey! Report Inappropriate Comment

ARTHURTOM 5/15/2009 9:40AM

It's not about how fast you get there or what's waiting on the other side...it's the climb! Tim Report Inappropriate Comment

Yikes! I Visited My Alma Mater Website & Shouldn't Compare My Progress!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

For the first three months of this seven month lifestyle change, I was on Nutrisystem. It was beneficial in getting me started in the right way of eating - portion size, combinations of food, etc. Having started that program in October 08, I went back to their website yesterday and read the blogs of some of the people I'd known who'd started the same time as I did and who were still using that system. Well, I nearly fell over to see that two of the three have lost 50 lbs (I've only lost 33), and the third person is down 90!!!! I kept asking myself if I should return since I've been at this lull period. However, I know better than to do this comparison thing and to instead run my own race. Those folks will have to get off the specially formulated food at some point and join the real world someday - as I have. And in doing so, it's an entirely different ballgame. If I'd stayed on that food program, I would have become very dependent and thought that I couldn't succeed without it. So much for visiting my old stomping ground. I don't think it's a productive thing to do. So I won't anymore.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKLESSENCE 5/16/2009 1:01PM

Jesse, ISHIIGIRL is so right :) Slow and steady wins the race! I wish I could remember the research source, but those whose pattern of food intake most closely approximates the way they will eat once they've reached their goal weight tend to maintain their losses, whereas those who lose very quickly don't. My own experience has always reflected that, too. So your lifestyle change - even with its occasional lull here and there - is most likely to be successful. Nutrisystem was a great first start, though; a steppingstone to make a clean break into healthier eating. Good for you! - Sara Report Inappropriate Comment

ISHIIGIRL 5/15/2009 2:10PM

Good for you, Jesse. I think you have made the right choice in doing this without the system and using sparkpeople. You are right, eventually you have to eat real food and do this on your own. You can't ever compare yourself to others because each of us is different and each of us walks this path a little differently. I am a Weight Watchers member and used to get so fustrated when I would see someone take off 50 lbs in a few months while I have been at this for 3 years. I just need to remind myself of my motto, slow and steady wins the race. This approach has worked for me and my weight loss efforts and your new approach will work for you, just give it time. Report Inappropriate Comment

WLDUVALL 5/14/2009 11:20AM

Hey Jesse, you are correct girl!!! Once those people leave that "special" food program and have to begin eating food from our reality, unless they have learned a lot, they may be in for a bug surprise. You really don't need to go there. But if you do go again remember, what you are doing is real and you are making a lifestyle change that you want to be long lasting. You are doing it in a manner that will allow you to keep it up. They are kinda doing a quick fix type change. If they are not learning how to prepare/eat real food, exercise, and make the lifestyle change, they will yo-yo. Don't compare an apple to a fried apple pie! :-)) Keep up the excellent work and ride safe! Report Inappropriate Comment

AMYMLE 5/14/2009 11:15AM

I think you're doing VERY well. 33 pounds and 3 dress sizes are nothing to sneeze at. And I think your perspective on this is wise. Yes, those other folks are going to have to "join the real world" sometime, and it's going to be much harder for them when that time comes because as you said, they've become dependent on special food. You're learning how to take care of yourself with real food and real workouts. You're a wise woman. Report Inappropriate Comment

Now That Euphoria Has Dissipated, Reality Has Set In

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Okay, I was on Cloud 9 for a few days due to being 3 sizes down since October 08. But now the reality has resumed in knowing that I have 20 more pounds to shed and, wow, do they feel heavy. I mean, I feel as heavy as when I first started. I think I've developed a hypersensitivity to the gravitational pull on my bones - more awareness of the strain on my frame and organs in having these extra 20 hanging around. Gotta really get going now.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARLATL 5/14/2009 5:49PM

I know what you mean about the gravity thing. You do start to feel the pressure in your joints especially. When I am at work I am walking for at least 6 hrs a day, and that can really wear on you when you are overweight. You'd think I'd be thinner with all that walking, hmmmmm... Just keep in mind that what you have done so far is awesome!!! Just keep yourself psyched for that last hurdle, you can do it! I can only hope I have what it takes to get as far as you have. I have only started today, and I can already see that folks are incredibly friendly and supportive...can't go wrong there at all. Comment edited on: 5/14/2009 5:50:56 PM Report Inappropriate Comment

CCKELLY3 5/13/2009 11:04PM

Congratulations on the accomplishment so far! I completely understand the lull feeling and I wanted to let you know that it's normal, even good to go through this. By sticking to your long term goals even when you're feelings aren't boosting you, you'll get such a sense of empowerment and achievement. This is where you learn to appreciate and even enjoy the process, and understand that you can choose to live how you want to live regardless of how you feel. Find ways and tools that work for you to stick to your plan even when you don't feel like it, and the feelings will catch up again. But while feelings ebb and flow, you're life plan doesn't have to. Make your dreams bigger than your feelings and you will succeed. And trust me, that brings an amazing sense of self worth. Spark has a series of motivational sayings and I picked one and printed it out and hung it by my bed for just this exact situation...it really helps me and I hope it helps you. "People say motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing. Which is why we recommend both daily." Report Inappropriate Comment

DUTCHWAHINI 5/13/2009 8:40PM

There may be something to the gravitational pull thing, we need someone to look into it. Sometimes we do feel heavier, could be water weight, or you are just plain tired, but don't let it beat you. If you were to take the pounds you have already lost and strap them to your back, then you would feel the weight that you have shed away and you would feel your accomplishment. It very well might be a sign from your body that it is preparing for the continued loss of weight, and you are feeling the change in muscle mass and temperment of your bones...you never know. Try this for motivation. Take out frozen food that weighs the same as what you have lost....put it in a big bag.....and lift it. If there is anything that will spark that happy feeling, it is knowing that you shed all that already....you already have won half the battle! By the way, I did that exercise for how much I wanted to lose and almost killed myself trying to lift the frozen food bag off the floor! :-) Report Inappropriate Comment

BABYFACE26 5/13/2009 7:41PM

Its always difficult coming down off a high! ....but thats such an accomplishment - I'm not even down ONE size yet, just feeling my clothes getting a bit looser. Report Inappropriate Comment

4A-HEALTHY-BMI 5/13/2009 11:31AM

Hang in there. Come to SP for support, and no matter what, KEEP GOING! Having been down this road once before, myself, I remember the feeling you describe. It's hard to come down off a high. And I did let it affect me. So no matter what happens, even if you slip up a little, just get back up and KEEP GOING! You've done too well so far to disrespect the progress you've already made... Hang in there! Report Inappropriate Comment

ARTHURTOM 5/13/2009 11:28AM

Steady and consistent wins the race. I think of that song I blogged about a few weeks back called "The Climb" "...it's not about how fast I get there, or what's waiting on the other side...it's the climb" Enjoy who you are and what you are becoming! Tim Report Inappropriate Comment