Sunday, February 10, 2013
It's very easy to write the blogs about progress or happy little gadgets like the Fitbit; it is NOT very easy to write about my backslides. However, before I continue, four years into this process, I am not as devastated as I once was when this happened. And I immediately get back on-track. Plus, I'm still done with sugar (and have been for a long time now), so the backslides don't include dessert type things. Overeating healthy stuff, though, is still overeating (and gaining).
Sabotage - placing an obstruction in the way of progress. Well, a mere few weeks ago, I was 4 lbs away from goal. Hooray, I thought, now I can eat more because I'm so close that it won't count. My body will play nice, even though the calorie intake was much more than normal. I know this doesn't make sense, but that's how it was rationalized, what can I say?
Another factor is the Fitbit. When I saw how many steps I was taking daily and how many calories burned, it was a mental license to eat more since it was being burned. Yikes! Not true at all.
Last, but not least, I go through periodic bouts of serious "I don't give a ______." This is a result of many things, but at the moment my heart is aching over my mother dying slowly and my not being able to communicate with her. (don't ask, it's complicated and one of the tragedies of my life)
That said, I am now 10 lbs away from goal instead of 4. Too bad,how sad. When you play, you pay. And all those cliches. But as I said, I'm back on-track and had to write this blog as a form of confession. And self-forgiveness to continue moving forward.
Wishing all you wonderful folks a fun day.