For My Departed Baby's B'day-Prologue to my Book

Thursday, November 15, 2012

I heard his first little cries from across the hallway, but when they saw my unexpected wakefulness from anesthesia, they quickly shut the doors. The glimpse I caught was of medical people surrounding my baby. I knew by his cries that he was of my flesh and blood. A mother knows these things.

I didn’t know why they didn’t want me to see him, but when my OB/GYN turned around to see me awake and inquisitive, his surprised look soon turned to a troubled one.
“Oh, I heard my baby’s first cries,” I said excitedly. I was already treasuring him after nine months of loving him in my womb. “What did I have?”

He looked somber. “You had a boy, but there’s a little problem.”

Undeterred and unconcerned, I was young, undaunted by difficulty. And as those with their lives ahead of them often feel, nothing was unfixable.

“Okay, well, we’ll help him, right?” I brightly offered, despite a bit of haziness remaining from the drug that mitigated the pain of childbirth.

Two days later, my son – Kevin James – died. Without having been allowed to see him, hold him, or say goodbye, my sorrow was unfathomable. Little did I know at that moment of his death just how absurd my life would be over my lifetime. I did not have the luxury of a crystal ball to look ahead, as I now have to look back.

A long, bumpy, crazy ride over decades of agony and ecstasy that one dares not try to make sense of, I figured that maybe writing about it would be cathartic. Maybe not. I think it dawned on me at the point when I lost Kevin – at the tender age of 18 – that my life would always be too cold for cacti.

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Thermogenics. Thx OWNSMALLCLOTHES!

Monday, November 12, 2012

Yesterday, I read her blog about swimming in a cold pool and the principle of thermogenics, which I've heard about many times. My response to that blog was that I had to put on a sweater just reading about her cold temps! (smiling)

Then I researched on the internet and, of course, pros and cons about whether it's safe or not.

And although I can't and won't go to extremes, I DID remember it when I awoke to a cold house. Instead of bundling up, I let my body warm me up. I'll do this in baby steps as I really don't like being cold. That's why I originally moved to San Diego many years ago. (smiling)

Woohoo, though, because I could feel my body working and burning to keep me warm. I'll never have icicles dripping out my nose, but I will make an effort to not bundle up as I usually do during colder weather.

Wishing all a good day. And thanks again to all who are so supportive during my exciting time right now.

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Guess What? Another Lb Gone!

Sunday, November 11, 2012

To say I'm thrilled is an understatement. I'm on a roll and get on the scale now in order to see a number I haven't seen in about 7 years!!!!! Wooooooohooooo!

A big hug to all my sparkfriends for their wonderful support.

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Another Pound Gone Gone Gone

Thursday, November 08, 2012

Woohoo, another lb kicked to the curb.

Very excited.

Have a wonderful day.

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Leave those Clocks Alone!

Monday, November 05, 2012

Enough with this time change! Just when I get used to it, it'll be time to "spring ahead." There's absolutely no reason to do this. Let's stick to Daylight Saving, how 'bout it?

Wishing all a happy day.

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