Really sad, poignant Christmas poem by boy who died of brain tumor

Saturday, December 18, 2010

I didn't sleep well, kept waking up. At one point, I reassured myself there was no school today, so I could sleep. Then I woke and it was 15 to 9 and I had told the workmen they could call me between 8:30 and 9, so I rushed to eat and shower and then they never did call me at all.. I read a little, I decided what we'd have for supper and I rooted through boxes looking for certain Christmas stuff I can't find, but I have enough, so not to worry about.

There's got to be about 14 inches of snow on the roof nest door, and luckily, I got stuck trying to back out of yard, but I got out of it...

Here's the poem, I know it is sad, but too special not to share.

MY FIRST CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below
With tiny lights, like heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear
But the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.
I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart
But I am not so far away, We really aren't apart.
So be happy for me, dear ones, You know I hold you dear.

And be glad I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I sent you each a special gift, from my heavely home above,
I sent you each a memory of my undying love.
After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold.

It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do.

For I can't count the blessing or love he has for each of you.
So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear.
Remember, I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

(This poem written by Ben, a 13 y.o. who fought brain tumor for 4 years and died just before Christmas... He gave this poem to his mom before he died.)

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MONTY68 12/19/2010 9:49PM

Lila Thank you for sharing the poem. Ben had a greater awareness of life then most people ever have. So powerful Monty Report Inappropriate Comment

GDY2SHUZ 12/19/2010 6:11PM

A marvelous insite for a 13 year old boy. A wonderful poem. Thank you for posting. Report Inappropriate Comment

NORASPAT 12/18/2010 11:45PM

Hi there thans for sharing Pat in Maine. HUGS !!! Report Inappropriate Comment

MUEHLBBO 12/18/2010 9:03PM

Very nice poem. Thanks for sharing it! Report Inappropriate Comment

Family Friday and I'm on call

Friday, December 17, 2010

So it's 11am and I am at school... We have workmen in this weekend and every one else is gone to town so I had to come over and open the school. Figured I had to get dressed and come out in the cold, I may as well stop and use high speed. I've been up since 8:30 and did dishes, had breakfast and read 50 pages in my new book by Kristin Hannah. Hadn't had my bubble bath I wasa planning, but can do that later. Since they're working in the gym, can't go walking there either.... I was actually seriously doing that the other day.

Well, I could be planning things for next week, but what's the point... it will probably be practice ALL DAY on Monday and then finally, the end, it's over... Can't imagine why many kids will even come to school on Tues. and Wed and some parents have said they won't.... I may have to look tonite for another Christmas box, I know we haven't found all my stuff....

So, believe it of not I am at the school with nothing to do! Ha! I'm sure if I look hard enough I could get started on something... so must go put my brains to work and see what I can come up with. Since I will be going to the city most of the break, I could even get pre-panned for the new year... maybe some booklets copied, makes life easier for me and the students....

Have a great weekend all!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MONTY68 12/17/2010 9:51PM

Hi Lila I think the only thing you should do in the school right now is the high speed internet. There certainly not much going on in the school as for trying to educate them. Just relax and keep your stress down as you have been doing and do some real Lila time. If you are in the mood to plan, why not take some time a look at some goals for 2011, A good time to do it. So enjoy the weekend, hope it warms up some for you. We got lucky and our temps. should be around 80 tomorrow. Monty Report Inappropriate Comment

NORASPAT 12/17/2010 8:54PM

I wrote a whole Blog comment and it just disappeared. TRY again. I was hoping you are doing a little planning and a lot of high speed while you have the chance. Too bad you were unable to use the gym. Do the kids ever use the gym. How many kids are in the school and what grades do they go up to. Where do they go to High school. I hope you will go home early and have a nice weekend. how long will you be out of school for the HOLS, are you going to the city again? How are your Mom and Dad doing now. Stay positive whatever you do. I have promised myself i shall not weigh in till Boxing day. Pat in Maine. Love you Hope this thing does not self destruct again. Pat in Maine. Report Inappropriate Comment

NORASPAT 12/17/2010 8:47PM

I hope you did s little planning and a lot of hi speed while you were there . a golden opportunity for you. Too bad they are using the gym. Do the kids ever get to use the gym, how many students are there in your school and what grades are they. I hope you can get home early and enjoy a nice weekend. I hope it warms up for you. We are supposed to get a north atlantic storm first they said Sunday now they are saying Monday. Oh well i still have to do my walk and i have no more stuff to watch i did mean to get out and get some but the day flew by as usual Love you STAY POSITIVE Pat in Maine. Report Inappropriate Comment

UMUCGRAD 12/17/2010 1:52PM

Sorry you're there. I'm sure you'll think of something productive. I find that sometimes the most productive thing I can do is nothing. But then, I tend to over-do. Doing nothing is becoming a conscious, healthy choice and I'm starting to like it! Report Inappropriate Comment

Yes, I made it to bed at 7:30!!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

I really did... I mean it!! And I mean too that I was sleeping by very shortly after that. Man, did I need it.... I feel like I could use another long nite like that tonite after today!!! Only Monday, then the practices are over and the END!!! (I hope) I can'e even begin to imagine what Monday will be like.... tempers are flaring.....

Well, back to last nite, I had a healthy supper... frozen lasagna that tasted so good I was going to go back and finish off the second portion, but I controlled my self (somewhat) I ate a couple spoonfuls and then I made up a frozen meal for my lunches with the rest and added some frozen edame beans to it... I can't believe how easy it is to have lunches ready these days... it never seemed easy before... And since they are being frozen, (I guess having the microwave in my classroom is what really helps) I just add some frozen veggies with whatever I am freezing, and voila a meal... add a yogurt and a fruit and I'm good to go..

Then, after supper I was thinking, I did well, considering the choices I had, at lunch and at supper, so the only option was to get to bed, so I wouldn't eat all nite... I watched Coronation Street, read a chapter and off to sleep I went. I woke about 12:30 and put away the laundry dh had done, had to fill my pill boxes to take last nite's meds and surprisingly enough, I did go back to sleep after that.... I woke with the alarm and my body was creaky, guess the long bus ride yesterday... But, I made it.

One more day....... I wish I could wake up and it would be Tuesday, or better still Weds. afternoon when school is over! Oh well, must hang in there a little longer. I have my friends to thank for their understandign and encouragement. I have to admit I went back and re-read Pat's message today (with the new pic) cuz I thought was someone else....

I'm at school on highspeed, but must finish off before it gets dark so I can go home... No school tomorrow, Whew!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERRI289 12/16/2010 10:38PM

Sleep is good!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

MONTY68 12/16/2010 10:36PM

Hi Lila Well, that was a wonderful experience, getting some quality sleep, Maybe there will be more like it. Tuesday or wednesday will be here before you know it. It is a shame that a celebration of Christmas shouldn't have tension or disputes, but that is what the pressure of the season can do. I can see some planning starting to form with ideas with meals. That is great, keep it up, taking this one day at a time. Thank you for sharing and duplicate your sleep tonight. Monty Report Inappropriate Comment

NORASPAT 12/16/2010 10:33PM

LILA your vacation can not come soon enough and when it does you must really try to have a joyful time. I can feel your frustration but am unable to help in any way. You are doing a great job with the children I am certain. I do hope after the new year somehow some way there might be change for these children. Take care. Try to get better sleep patterns for yourself. It really is important you let your mind and body rest. Love you Pat in Maine. HUGS-GALORE !!!!!!!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

AZURE14 12/16/2010 6:08PM

Good job - keep up the good work! Report Inappropriate Comment

Only 2 more days and it's over!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Tomorrow we have another practice, hopefully with the costumes etc. this time and figuring out the logistics of getting kids changed from one costume to another with no facilities. And Friday is a Family Friday, so hopefully we won't get called in just for a practice....joking!!! So Monday, we practice and finally the performance on Monday nite.....Yea, can't be soon enough.

So today, we practiced from 9 to 11 today and then went for our outing and lunch and Santa... It was interesting to see I sat with the "infamous bad boy of the school" and we must have finally found his off button, cuz he went to sleep. Made me smile to see his little angelic face without his legs in motion!!

So, the lunch was hot dogs, hamburgers, pizza and french fries and a cup cake and ice cream. I did try... I asked for the hamburger pattie without the bun (and I only ate 1/2 of it) and a small fries and a slice of pizza(but they were so good). then I had a diet ginger ale and an ice cream cone only.... 1 scoop too! Monty can take the credit for hat assuring me I could go out and still eat in a healthy portion. So, for all, I didn't do bad there. Now, if I could only make it through the evening without anesthetizing myself with food. Had another late nite, so I'm tired and being out of our normal pattern is tiring. We were at the gym on our outing and I did a bicycle ride for 3 Km or mi - don;'t know which one.

So, we dropped off kids at their house and dropped teachers at school. I couldn't get on the internet, so I just came home. It's weird how usually there were no teachers staying after school and now when we have no planning to do, they are staying late. I can't help but think there is something someone has neglected to tell me that needs to be done.

Well, sparking on dial up tonite.. it's really snowing so I'm not going anywhere... thank you my friends for empathizing with me and acknowledging that this is above and beyond and I am in my right mind thinking it.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERRI289 12/15/2010 11:16PM

I so agree with Pat. Knowing what education is aboutand not being able to implement your lessons so you can practice for a show seems a bit shortsighted on thepart of the Powers that be. Hang in there, you are doing great!!Now go to bed!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

MONTY68 12/15/2010 11:16PM

Hi Lila I bet you are glad that it is almost over, It is such a shame that they can't find some time for education. Florida has what they call F cats and it is to see how much the children have learned, it also can mean a F for failure and a school doesn't want that, so the teachers are forced into teaching. As far as a luncheon, you certainly didn't have a really great healthy choices and glad that you at least were able to control how much. Hope you made it through the evening. We will get you back on a better routine as far as eating, and tracking. I hope you get some good rest tonight and will talk to you tomorrow. Monty Report Inappropriate Comment

NORASPAT 12/15/2010 7:03PM

Dear LILA I for one think you are really doing a great job with what you have to put up with. I wish the powers that be would at some time consider what school is all about. Its about educating the children instead of parading them around all day, no wonder you have some naughty kids. They are probably Fed up with putting on their winter boots over and over again. Yes I know you will be glad when this is over and then of course the Christmas parties and family day. I am so glad we were in school as long as we were . It was the only predictable environment I had to live in and that was what I loved about it. I was barely 4 yeras old but I could read and that was all it took to go to my school. Love you, Love you are a teacher, take care Pat in maine. Report Inappropriate Comment

When Will it Be Over?

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Today we went to the hall at 12:45 and didn't return till 2:50... that 's a long time to keep little kids occupied... when part of the time they are waiting for their turn to dance to come around. We had a big Christmas tree coloring page to do and then we played Duck, Duck, Goose. We made it almost to the end of the day and one kid punched the other one in the nose on the walk back.... We survived...
Then we had a pow wow, where I had a talk with them about their behaviour and then got them to votes Thumbs Up or Thumbs Down on the pictures and rewarded them with a candy cane... it was the end of the day, so parents would have to deal with the sugar....

So, that was today... tomorrow... we will have our O Canada and opening prayer and eat breakfast and head over to the hall at 8:45... Then we have to go out ot the oil company who is putting on a Christmas party for us... they will have a meal with cake and ice cream and a big present for each child.... It is almost a 45 minute drive there, so we will drop the kids off at their homes when we come back.... Another day filled with learning.....

So, I'm just going to do a little sparking and head home, there's nothing to prep for tomorrow... there basically is no school day tomorrow...

Christmas concert can't come soon enough!!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NORASPAT 12/15/2010 5:51AM

Lila I had to blog this morning. After getting up early yesterday I am even earlier today. I woke up coughing Allergy season is here. COLD makes me WHEEZE. I hear loud and clear your frustrations but at least you have resigned yourself to do what you must do. I guess the principal appears to be more interested in sucking up to others than being attentive to the needs of the kids. You are doing a great job dealing with it and staying with a lot more of your own needs. If you need to vent this is the place to do it. Take care, get plenty of rest, sleep if you can but R and R is important too. You cannot burn the candle st both ends without consequences. I am proud of you Pat in Augusta Maine, BIG HUGS to you ! Report Inappropriate Comment

TERRI289 12/14/2010 10:38PM

YOu are keeping a great attitude with all these interruptions. Good for you, the whole holiday thing seems a bit out of control there. I admire you for doing as much as you can with these condtions. Have a good evening.... Report Inappropriate Comment

MONTY68 12/14/2010 6:01PM

Hi Lila The good news is there is still that sense of calmness in your writing. The bad news is the Kids are not getting much opportunity to learn school stuff. I did like your comment about the parents dealing with the sugar. Hope you Sparked and home having a great dinner. How did you sleep last night? So Study and prepare well for tomorrows classes Thank you sharing, enjoy your evening and get some rest. Monty Report Inappropriate Comment