Wednesday, February 09, 2011
Well, I did not do what Beck suggested. I woke up at 5am and weighed. I was 128.8, same as yesterday. I feel back asleep. I woke up and voided and felt skinny. I know she says not to weigh more than once a day. It is a sure sign of obsession. I agree. I am obsessed. To get rid of my scale obsession is on my To Do list for first thing after I have: 1) achieved my goal weight and maintained for one month and then 2) tackled my overuse of artificial sweeteners. But at 7:45 am I weighed 127.2. Better. Still not there.
I have not been sleeping enough. I have been averaging probably 6.75 hours and I do better on 8-8.5. I will try to improve. My hubby likes me to watch games with him. Last night it was Tennesee men's basketball on too late. We do so few things together that I hate to give it up.
And I have not been eating enough healthy oil. My fat percentage is around 16-18%, when I need it to be at least 20%, with SparkPeople recommending 30% of calories from fat. I find it hard to get that much fat in and still hit my calorie range. Guess that is because I am eating 9-11 servings of fruits and veggies. I love them and they keep me full. Need to tweak it, but it is hard to give up a big plate of veggies for a teaspoon or tablespoon of oil. I swear the oil does not affect how satisfied I feel, but the veggies really do. Weight Watchers only requires two teaspoons of healthy oil per day - olive or canola are the 2 I use to meet their criteria. I also take fish oil supplements. I notice that mypyramid.gov recommends 5 teaspoons of oil for someone my weight and height. I accept that I need to be eating more oil. I'll try. I really will. At least when I hit that happy weight number, the first thing I'll add is at least one more teaspoon of oil. This is a hard one for me, though. I probably should do it now. I'll try.
See, I like the Beck NO CHOICE because there is no struggle. I'm struggling on sleep and oil because I haven't really committed.
Tuesday, February 08, 2011
Sabotaging thought: The scale is unfair to me. (10 days ago I weighed 125.4 at home and 126.2 at Weight Watchers. I have not had one bite off program and I have exercised more than my scheduled 6 hours per week and 2 strength training sessions. Saturday I weighed 128.2 at Weight Watchers and 128.8 this morning here at home.)
1. What kind of thinking error could I be making? self-deluding thinking. if someone else told me this situation I would say that a 3 pound fluctuation is common and to be expected. somehow I think I am special and this should not happen to me when I am so ready to go to maintenance and figure out exactly what I can eat for the rest of my life and stay at my happy weight of 126
2. What's the evidence that this thought might not be true or not completely true? I weigh 84 pounds less than I did in 1998 and almost 50 pounds less than on 12/1/08. when I lose weight it does show up on the scale eventually
3. What's an alternative explanation or another way of viewing this? fluctuations are normal. the low weigh ins may be the fluctuations. I still have 2.8 pounds to lose to get to my happy weight. it is possible that I am miscalculating food calories, but I'm being very careful and I do not think that is the alternative explanation
4. What's the most realistic outcome? I will keep doing what I am doing and I will get to my happy weight for real and to stay. Alternatively, I will figure out my error in food tracking and then I will lose the weight
5. What is the effect of believing this thought and what would be the effect of changing my thinking? If I believe the scale is unfair to me I'm not totally responsible for what the scale says. If I change my thinking I am responsible and I'll wait until I am solidly at 126 before I add just a few maintenance calories.
6. What would I tell my good friend who was in the same situation? to keep up the good work and be patient
7.What should I do? keep up the good work and be patient
I read my Advantages, NO CHOICE, It's Not Okay, and Get Back on Track cards today twice.
U ate slowly, itting down and noticing every bite.
I gave myself credit for engaging in helpful eating behaviors, especially thinking about being hungry and reminding myself I'd be eating within an hour.
I did a lot of spontaneous exercise with my granddaughters today.
I got up early and did 120 minutes of fairly low intensity exercise today - recovering from 2+ mile run yesterday. some soreness in back of thighs.
I'm just about to write out my food plan for tomorrow. Since I started planning my meals the night before, I haven't missed one.
I monitored everything I ate today on my WW three month journal AND on SparkPeople. Hit every nutrition goal on both.
I worked toward accepting what I have to do to lose weight - oh, well.
I used the Seven Question Technique. Haven't decided if I really need to make a card for this one or not.
Tuesday, February 08, 2011
I'll get back to Beck at least by tomorrow. Today I'm just really excited that I committed to run my first 5K road race. I filled out the form and mailed in my $10 check today. The race is March 12th. It's part of the Senior Olympics. I hope it isn't cutthroat competitive, but I don't expect it to be. Don't really know what to expect, but I'm up for it!!!
Monday, February 07, 2011
Beck describes 9 types of thinking errors. I've been looking for sabotaging thoughts; I know I have them and that they have been a big factor in times I've struggled. But yesterday I did not identify one. But we'll apply this chapter to my sabotaging thoughts the day before.
As far as the thoughts about eating all the cantaloupe, I would call that error #6 self-deluding thinking. It just is not true that it does not matter. Following the food plan matters. Correct portions matter.
My obsession with the scale I believe falls into two types of thinking errors. First, it is exagerated thinking, error #9. I exagerate how important one weigh is. And it is negative fotune telling (error #2) when I leap from I gained two pounds today so I'm doing terrible, I'm gaining weight.
When I identify sabotaging thoughts Beck says to identify the thinking error that corresponds. I'll do that.
I'm reading my advantages, no choice, it's not okay and get back on track cards at least twice a day.
I'm eating slowly, sitting down almost all the time, and noticing every bite.
I'm giving myself plenty of credit for engaging in helpful thinking.
I'm doing spontaneous exercise daily.
I'm doing planned exercise regularly.
I'm writing out my food plan each evening.
I check off everything right after I eat.
I have accepted what I have to do to lose weight; I am looking forward to really learning precisely what I need to do to maintain my happy weight.
I identified the thinking mistakes that correspond to my recent sabotaging thoughts.
Ready for Day 27!
Sunday, February 06, 2011
Yesterday I had a bunch of sabotating thoughts centered around the scale. Actually it was more like doubt, self doubt, and confusion rather than real sabotage. I weighed in at Weight Watchers two full pounds above my weight the week before. I weighed 128.8 this Saturday morning and 126.8 last Saturday morning.
This past week I planned my food the night before using my WW three month journal, followed that plan, and then put my food into the nutrition tracker each evening to see how it did on SparkPeople. I did not deviate from my food plan. I exercised even more than the 6 hours cardio I had set out to do. Last week I had a calorie deficit of nearly 600 calories per day according to what I recorded. So I was very disappointed to have this gain. I kept thinking about it and thinking maybe I'm not eating enough. Maybe I should be eating all my activity points. Then I'd think no, I'm eating too much fruit. I'm not measuring my fruits and vegetables accurately enough (they are free on WW) so that I'm really eating a lot more than what I recorded. I need to be eating less. I need to get my new heart rate monitor out of the box and learn how to use it. Maybe I'm not burning near as many calories as I think. I argued with myself on and off all day. I finally decided to keep on doing what I'm doing for another week. It is undoubtedly a fluctuation. It will probably go away.
All this thinking and concern over my weight is silly. When I am eating good and exercising well I have nothing to worry about and should relax. Hmmm. Easier said than done. Although I don't think my current level of thinking is sabotaging -- I still feel very committed to healthy eating and exercise -- I do think if I don't get my weight in proper perspective I'm setting myself up for discouragement that could then sabotage my efforts.
The one sabotaging thought that I did identify that is more like Beck is looking for happened last evening. I was having 1/4 of a small cantaloupe for an evening snack. There was 1/2 a cantaloupe left, upside down on a plate in the refrigerator. I told myself that I didn't want to get out the cellophane and I might as well eat it all. It didn't matter. Wasn't many calories. Just too much trouble to reach down below the counter. Wait! Wait! I told myself it did matter and I would stick to the food plan. I got out the plastic wrap. No problem. Except ooops! The cantaloupe was good, but it was hard to cut with my spoon. When I brought the rind back into the kitchen I picked up a sharp knife and cut a little more orange flesh off the rind and ate it standing up. Ooops. I caught myself. Didn't mean to do that. I'm suppose to sit down to eat. Oh, well. Not perfect. Pretty good though. Eventually the scale will reward me -- it will, it will, it will.......
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