Tuesday, August 24, 2010
This morning I weighed 125.8, a full .2 below my selected "happy weight" of 126. At 5'6", that is a BMI of 20 and it just feels like the right weight for me. The lowest weight I have been in the last 35 years is 125.6, about 6 weeks ago. The last time I saw that number I thought I was under, so I should eat. I ate too much. So now what?
I suspect to stay around my happy weight, though, I probably need to lose down to 124. It seems like whenever I cut back, I go up just a pound or two when I resume eating maintenance calories. To get to 124 I would need a calorie deficit of just under 7,000 calories.
Weight Watchers gives you 2 pounds above or below your goal weight for a 4 pound fluctuation. A 4 pound fluctuation might be a good goal for me if:
1. I don't weigh on mornings after I eat out due to sodium/water weight
2. I don't weigh in the evenings
3. I don't weigh with clothes on
However, I suspect that I just fluctuate more than the average person and I'm just going to have to live with that knowledge. It could be that when I have been at my happy weight solid for several months, the fluctuations will diminish, but I won't plan on that.
Eventually, I probably want to get where WalkingAnnie is and just give up the scale, judge my success by the way I am eating, working out, and how my clothes fit. But that will be a while. Tracking food would be essential to this method.
Another option is to give up tracking when weight is where I want it, and start tracking whenever weight is up (or hypothetically down, I suppose). That requires frequent weighing. My mom used that method successfully for several years, but then fell off the wagon.
If anyone has experience with truly achieving that final goal weight number and locking it in, please share. That is the knowledge I need right now. Thanks!
Sunday, August 22, 2010
I changed my screen name yesterday, you know. If you ever want attention from your SparkFriends, change your name and send out a SparkMail. What a wonderful group of friends! I've had 100% positive response. Thank you, thank you.
I am beginning to feel like a Slenderella. To me, I look like close enough to a Slenderella. Now the dream that I wish to come true is that I consistently eat like a Slenderella. It may never come effortlessly to me, and that is okay. But I dream that my weight will stabilize. I'll pass the scale by without a negative thought, or jump on it confident that my weight is solidly where I want it.
My first day as Slenderella I stayed well within my calorie range. Ate lots of super healthy foods. This morn I was down and only 1.8 pounds over happy weight. Maybe my dream can come true.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Thanks for all your support regarding my frazzled day. I think I proved to myself once more that letting it (stress) get to me just makes me less efficient and productive, as well as less likely to achieve my eating and activity goals.
I'm just back from a super Zumba workout this morning and feeling energetic. I'm going to try to do some of the thinking work I need to accomplish while I accomplish the laundry and housework.
I'm a little frustrated that I still haven't gotten back down to my happy weight; I've been over for two full weeks. I got down to just .6 pounds over last Saturday, and today I'm 4.2 pounds over. I guess you could just call it vanity pounds since I'm still at a healthy BMI. However, I know me and I know that if I accept a gain of 4.2 pounds and the eating behavior that goes with that gain, it could very easily become 40.2 pounds. I would like maintenance to be focused on eating healthy and balancing activity and food. But for now I'm still seeing those same numbers on the scale going up, up -- going down -- going up -- going down -- going up, up -- going down, down -- going up. I want so badly to just be normal when it comes to eating. Why is it so hard for me?
Excuse my rant. I'm sure there is not one person who will read this blog who doesn't struggle at some time. Some struggle far more than I. Feeling sorry for myself is not productive.
For a long time -- over a year and a half -- I felt like my food selections and eating behavior was gradually improving. Now I feel like there is still progress I need to make, but right now I'm not making progress. Part of it is trying to incorporate the increased work demands with the reality of prioritizing healthy living. Perhaps I need to be a little patient with myself without giving up my commitment to healthy living.
Thanks to anyone who read this self indulgent blog! It helped to write it. I was thinking of changing my screen name to Slenderella. Maybe that would give me a shot in the arm! -Marsha
Friday, August 20, 2010
Yesterday I had a 7:30am professional breakfast. A protégé of mine won a big award, Workforce Champion of the Year. She really deserves it. I am very proud of her. BUT I burned fewer calories than in any day since I seriously started SparkPeople last October.
After the breakfast, she and I met with a funder about a new opportunity and my head was spinning about the effort it is going to take and the looming deadline. I then worked all day on my day off -- I didn't finish until after 11pm. Other than helping my hubby get his car out of the shop, I did nothing else but work and grabbing a bite here and there. A volunteer has written a mystery dinner script and wanted a mailing list of our donors for invitations. We didn't have it any one place. Yes, we should have. Yes, her request was reasonable. However, it took me probably 8 hours of sitting and typing to produce what she wanted, consolidating and updating several different lists, and then re-learning how to do mail merge address labels.
This morning I went to meet with the volunteer. I thought I knew where she lives -- I have a friend who lives right nearby, or so I thought. Turns out my friend lives on SuchandSuch Road and this volunteer lives on SuchandSuch Drive. I forgot to take my new cell phone. I tried to mapquest it again, but the only wireless available was password protected. Had to drive home, but then couldn't find her address. Then I remembered it was in the paperwork on the front seat of my car. I grabbed the papers and the address and ran into the house to mapquest it again. I left the consolidated mailing list and all the source documents - her copies and mine - sitting on the hood of the car. When I backed up they flew all over the road. I ran around picking them up, knowing I was late. My hubby was outside doing yard work and yelled as I drove off. I had left some right in the driveway. Ran back, got them, and on my way again.
I got done and back home in time to care for granddaughter while pregnant daughter went to her weekly doctor appointment now. I sure would like to get this grant proposal done before the baby arrives so I can help if needed.
Man, there has to be a better way. I simply have to learn to balance work and the rest of my life. I will not be able to maintain my weight if I don't have time to eat right and exercise. It is very hard to say no to volunteers who are giving their time to the cause. I'm paid, so they expect a lot. I understand that. But I've got to set priorities and set limits. I'll try.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
I told my hubby I was on the way to the gym, envisioning my usual elliptical or stationery bike workout and then hitting the weight machines. On the way there, I was just not excited about it. The day was so beautiful. The sky so blue. I decided I wanted to walk outside even if it was in the 90's. So I went to Lake Hollingsworth, a popular lake to walk here in Lakeland. It is 3 miles around, beside interesting Florida Southern College, buildings designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. There are so many beautiful birds (herons, ibis, anhinga, etc) and aquatic plants there -- I'd never before noticed a sort of water lily standing erect with blossoms at least a foot above the water. I thought I'd do a ten minute warm up - 5 min outs and possibly turn around then -- and go to the gym. After 5 minutes, I wanted more. I did the whole 3+ miles in just over 35 minutes -- a little jogging thrown in.
Then I drove to the gym, showered, and swam laps for 30 minutes straight, mostly breaststroke and backstroke, but a bit of crawl and sidestroke, too. Yesterday I had been so lazy and tired. Today I really got into a change of cardio. Showered and changed again and went to the grocery store which is another thing I rarely do. So, enjoyed a day of changing it up. Strength training may just have to wait until tomorrow
Sometimes you just go with the impulse and benefit from it!!
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