Thursday, March 11, 2010
Maybe you can help me. I read it. I went on. But my mind kept coming back to the elephant. Now I can't find it.
It goes something like this: the rider(driver) is the brain; the elephant is the emotions. The rider can keep the elephant going for a while, but if there is no change in the elephant eventually it gets too hard for the rider to control.
There was a recommended book about change, and why change is hard. And I would bet it contains some strategies for making change easier. The way my mind kept coming back to it, I must get that book. Maybe you've seen that blog. Or maybe you know that book. Can you help me out??
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Precise is to Estimate as Obsessed is to Rational.?! Hmm. Maybe, on maintenance anyway.
When I look at the top rack of my dishwasher I used to be able to tell you what my bathroom scale was doing. If my dishwasher was full of measuring cups, measuring spoons, and the top of my food scale, I was losing weight. I was measuring my portions. I was cooking, almost always healthy foods. On the otherhand, if the top rack of my dishwasher had no measuring implements you could almost guarantee I was not doing well on the big scale, either.
It may be different now, as I am learning maintenance. Estimates may be acceptable, may even be preferable. I am pretty good at it now. I pour a bowl of cereal and think, well, I should measure it, and it turns out to be exactly one cup!! Weighing and measuring everything seems kind of obsessive. Estimating may simply be a more rational approach for the long run. So I may just back off of weighing and measuring so much. Maybe just my teaspoon measure for oil, because it is so calorie dense.
If the bathroom scale goes up, though, the food scale and friends will come back out!
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
Yesterday when I wrote "One Down" I was talking about finishing the grant proposal that I'd been stressing about. Today my "One Down" is a good one, too. I'm back down the one pound I was over the weight I'm aiming for. I expected it to take 5 days, but just one day of careful eating and I'm there. This experience helps me build confidence that I CAN maintain a healthy weight! Happy Dance! Happy Dance! Everybody, dance with me!! -Marsha
Monday, March 08, 2010
Well, the grant proposal is in the mail, with all the required forms and signatures. Relief. Natalie is napping and I'm sipping decaf tea. Relax. Relax.
In The Spark, Chris Downie says, "Avoid stupid stress," on page 42. He demonstrates how planning and preparation can help you avoid stress in many situations. He writes about losing car keys and feeling stupid, and ironically, I left my car keys at the bank this morning in the middle of trying to get everything assembled and in the mail. I refused to feel stupid, though -- just waltzed back in and picked them up with a smile! Maybe it helps that the tellers know me and weren't surprised. Or maybe that is too telling.
But now I'm trying to decide if there is anything I can do to prevent getting so stressed out over similar projects. In this particular case, I should have started earlier, especially to get the letters of support. Looking back on it I probably had out of state company when I should have been starting to get things lined up. That's partly a reason and partly an excuse. I didn't jump right on it after they left, either. Well, live and learn. On the positive side, I think it ended up being a strong proposal with a good likelihood of it being funded. Time will tell. (Live and learn... Time will tell.... Some of my favorite comforting, trite expressions.)
I weigh one pound over what I want to weigh according to the scale this morning. Not bad. I'll try to be careful for a couple days. It will be easier now that I am relaxing. -Marsha
Sunday, March 07, 2010
My meditation reward last night was truly restoring. It helped me relax, as I aim to have balance in my life. I tend to focus. Focusing rather than achieving balance has gotten me in a lot of difficulties throughout my life. Like either I'm dieting (eating healthy) or not. Either I'm exercising or I'm not. Either I'm almost a constant whirling of productivity or I'm not accomplishing much.
I have had a lot of success as a grant proposal writer, but I find it stressful. I almost always want to quit at least once during the process. Usually the proposals are collaborative and the proposal writer tries to coordinate a lot of different people/agencies/programs in a way that the potential funder will find appealing. Also, the agencies involved need to be able to do the program and deliver the outcomes. Anyway, it is time consuming, challenging, obstacles occur regularly, and there is always a "drop dead" deadline looming. I often struggle to remain true to my cheerful and positive self during the process. Much of me just really wants to be retired now, but that may not be best.
Anyway, my daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter usually come for a home cooked meal on Sunday evening. That sounded like it would work. I wanted to totally focus on finishing the grant proposal Sunday morning while I was fresh and get it done in time to cook. The goal is to mail it Monday morning with letters of support I still have to get signed on Monday. Well, my daughter and family had a commitment for Sunday eve and asked if they could come for Sunday lunch. I really did not want them to, because I wanted to focus. Hubby really wanted them to come. So, he offered to do a lot of the lunch and I took him up on it. Meditation allowed me to relax enough to at least act unstressed while they were here. Actually, I really enjoyed the break.
I'm waiting on a call from the new agency director with feedback on the proposal. I can't wait to have the proposal in the mail, but I know that balance rather than focus is better for me. Balance is what I am working toward. Meditation will help me as I strive for balance.
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