Monday, March 08, 2010
Well, the grant proposal is in the mail, with all the required forms and signatures. Relief. Natalie is napping and I'm sipping decaf tea. Relax. Relax.
In The Spark, Chris Downie says, "Avoid stupid stress," on page 42. He demonstrates how planning and preparation can help you avoid stress in many situations. He writes about losing car keys and feeling stupid, and ironically, I left my car keys at the bank this morning in the middle of trying to get everything assembled and in the mail. I refused to feel stupid, though -- just waltzed back in and picked them up with a smile! Maybe it helps that the tellers know me and weren't surprised. Or maybe that is too telling.
But now I'm trying to decide if there is anything I can do to prevent getting so stressed out over similar projects. In this particular case, I should have started earlier, especially to get the letters of support. Looking back on it I probably had out of state company when I should have been starting to get things lined up. That's partly a reason and partly an excuse. I didn't jump right on it after they left, either. Well, live and learn. On the positive side, I think it ended up being a strong proposal with a good likelihood of it being funded. Time will tell. (Live and learn... Time will tell.... Some of my favorite comforting, trite expressions.)
I weigh one pound over what I want to weigh according to the scale this morning. Not bad. I'll try to be careful for a couple days. It will be easier now that I am relaxing. -Marsha
Sunday, March 07, 2010
My meditation reward last night was truly restoring. It helped me relax, as I aim to have balance in my life. I tend to focus. Focusing rather than achieving balance has gotten me in a lot of difficulties throughout my life. Like either I'm dieting (eating healthy) or not. Either I'm exercising or I'm not. Either I'm almost a constant whirling of productivity or I'm not accomplishing much.
I have had a lot of success as a grant proposal writer, but I find it stressful. I almost always want to quit at least once during the process. Usually the proposals are collaborative and the proposal writer tries to coordinate a lot of different people/agencies/programs in a way that the potential funder will find appealing. Also, the agencies involved need to be able to do the program and deliver the outcomes. Anyway, it is time consuming, challenging, obstacles occur regularly, and there is always a "drop dead" deadline looming. I often struggle to remain true to my cheerful and positive self during the process. Much of me just really wants to be retired now, but that may not be best.
Anyway, my daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter usually come for a home cooked meal on Sunday evening. That sounded like it would work. I wanted to totally focus on finishing the grant proposal Sunday morning while I was fresh and get it done in time to cook. The goal is to mail it Monday morning with letters of support I still have to get signed on Monday. Well, my daughter and family had a commitment for Sunday eve and asked if they could come for Sunday lunch. I really did not want them to, because I wanted to focus. Hubby really wanted them to come. So, he offered to do a lot of the lunch and I took him up on it. Meditation allowed me to relax enough to at least act unstressed while they were here. Actually, I really enjoyed the break.
I'm waiting on a call from the new agency director with feedback on the proposal. I can't wait to have the proposal in the mail, but I know that balance rather than focus is better for me. Balance is what I am working toward. Meditation will help me as I strive for balance.
Saturday, March 06, 2010
Today's Love Yourself Just the Way You Are Challenge: Do the Team walk at Lake Morton, 9:30a.m., this morning. Later, do something special just for YOU. Share what you've done or write a blog about it.
The Team walk was great this morning! It was a gorgeous sunny day with cool breezes. The swans swam sedately as a dozen team members walked the perimeter of Lake Morton. I should have stayed to walk a second mile just for the companionship, but I was feeling energetic and wanted to burn calories fast. So I went on to the YMCA. I did 30 minutes on the elliptical and 20 on the stationery bike and got home just in time for to greet Natalie. Both her parents worked today, so I had her noon to 8pm.
There was much today that was special, like unsolicited butterfly kisses from Natalie, and the way she laughed when in response to her complaint about it being cold, I warmed her potty seat with the hair dryer!
But as far as what I am going to do special just for myself, I have decided that I am going to meditate. Maybe just a few minutes or maybe longer depending on how it goes. I used to meditate regularly, but have kind of gotten away from it. I have a big work project and several other concerns taking up much of my brain space. I need to limit the concerns to their proper proportion, and connect with my true calm and confident self.
Well, I'm about to get started. You know, it just might work!
Friday, March 05, 2010
I did my first Zumba class this morning and found out why so many people have told me that it is great fun. The reason? It is great fun!
Zumba is Latin dancing exercise. Our instructor, Paquita, calls out the steps in an authentic Spanish accent. She is full of pep and fire, and I could easily imagine her doing the flamenco. Step, stamp!! Sometimes she'd just put her fingers in the air to tell us how many reps to do or motion a cut at the neck to tell us to stop. I can't say that I got every step, but I can tell you I kept moving with a smile on my face for the whole 45 minutes.
The class was big. I'd estimate 50 women and I worried sometimes that I would run into someone when I turned the wrong way, but it didn't happen. There was also one brave man in our class. I admired the way he seemed to fit in with everyone.
Naturally Paquita has a shape that screams fit. I saw her in the weight room after our session and introduced myself. She was kind and encouraging, just a delightful, happy, person and you can tell she has a mission to help everyone get fit. Just loved her!!
They have other Zumba instructors, and I may check them out. But I'll be sure to go back to Paquita's class.
Thursday, March 04, 2010
It had escaped my attention, obviously for years. I have donated hundreds of items of clothing to a thrift store that supports great programs(literacy/GED, financial stability, basic needs: food pantry and homeless prevention) I have been associated with. But I don't donate underwear, so it had just eluded me. However, the other day my panties were sticking above the waist band of my jeans and wading up around my waist under my shirt, so I decided I had to buy some new ones. And my new panties would not fit into my already full panty drawer. So as I sat and more or less watched TV, I sorted my panties by size.
There were size 10's. Honestly, I do not remember being that big. That must have been in 1998-9 when I was on those steroids. And there were small pile of 9s. Was that really my size at one time ?? I remember wearing 8's for a lot of years and being proud to fit into 7's. Sixes are okay now, but 5 low rise do best with jeans these days.
I'm at my destination now. The object is to stay in fives, but I'll keep my sixes for now. Sevens and up are gone. There will be no more 7-10's. But it is time for balance. There will never be a 4, 3, 2, 1 or I might just blast off!!
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