Tuesday, January 14, 2014
I'm reviewing my old blogs to see how far I've come, to look for issues still unresolved, and to see if there are some lessons I need to relearn.
On November 17, 2009, I had an experience I had never had before in my entire life. The scale was up, just by a few tenths of a pound, and I was okay with that. I was not trying to lose weight -- or feeling totally defeated -- for the first time in decades.
I wrote, "Losing weight is exciting, but all good things must come to an end." And, "the biggest thing for me to work on is making maintaining my weight second nature to me. That includes accepting that some days the scale will go up a bit."
Can't say that maintaining my weight is second nature, but I have taken steps forward. Probably the biggest change between today and 11/17/09 is that I BELIEVE I can maintain. I know what to do. (I may debate the optimum food plan, but I know several plans that will maintain my weight.) I know I can do it. As I have often written, it isn't always easy, but it is worth it. And I no longer freak out and assume I'm gaining it all back if the scale is up a bit!
Monday, January 13, 2014
I'm warming up and gathering speed as I travel down the runway to takeoff for my 5th anniversary of achieving a healthy weight after more than 5 decades of being overweight or obese. The date is still 8 weeks away. Am I overdoing this?? Yeah, maybe, but it is me. I'm happy living in a state of celebration!!
Reviewing my old blogs has been fun, too. Wish I'd been blogging during the time I lost the weight, but I didn't start until I came to SparkPeople and was getting close to my final goal weight. Okay, look at what I was blogging mid-November 2009:
* I told of knee pain on one day, but it was already much better the next day. I really hadn't remembered that knees had been an issue that recently. I've been running since January 2011 and have had no knee pain since then. I faithfully did the exercises in the SparkPeople article about strengthening and stretching knees and I'm sure it helped!
* I celebrated that granddaughter Natalie was potty trained. Well, now it is Gwen, her 3 year old sister. She's not had an accident in several weeks. Hubby has agreed to new carpet or flooring after this accomplishment. Time to start shopping!
* I shared that I had planned a whole day of eating and proposed to do a month of meal plans and shopping lists. I still do my best eating when I've planned ahead. I have made some meal plans, but they could still be improved.
Reading back, the blog that affected me the most I titled, "Regrets, I Have a Few...":
"Eating healthy feels so right now. How I wish I had found this lifestyle years ago. How would my life have been different?
"Oh, who knows. With more confidence I might have made more mistakes! LOL None of us can go back. So let's go forward, smarter and wiser.... "
But now, have I gone on "smarter and wiser"? There are times I still wonder what my teenage and young adult years would have been had I figured out how to eat healthy decades earlier. There are times I still want to blame my mom, and dad, for raising me fat. I recognize that there is nothing to be gained from such self-indulgent dreaming. There are times I still feel like I missed out. Well, so be it. This year a teenage family member who was so fit and beautiful made some bad mistakes that will affect her the rest of her life. It touched me in many ways. Of course, I want to support her now, but I also want to use this lesson to help me once and for all let go those things, those years, I cannot re-live. My life might not have been any better had I been a healthy weight my whole life. So, over 4 years ago, I knew I needed to let go this resentment and regret, but I'm still working on it!!
So, thanks, SparkFriends, for letting me share and vent. I truly enjoy living in a state of celebration of my health and fitness, even if I didn't get to it until late in life!!
Saturday, January 11, 2014
I'm reviewing my blogs from 2009 to look for lessons I need to relearn and to celebrate those areas in which I've improved. I may end up identifying some ongoing issues, areas in which I still need to improve. As I approach the 5 year milestone of maintaining nearly an 80 pound weight loss, I'm not near as afraid of gaining it all back as I was 4 years ago. I didn't lose it overnight and I won't wake up fat tomorrow; I know I won't gain it back overnight either. I have had many, many slips and times when I ate more than I need. At times I could have made better choices, although portions are a bigger issue for me now than trigger foods and cravings.
Here's a rerun of my November 11, 2009 blog:
"My husband does the grocery shopping and I do the cooking. He started shopping probably six months after I began losing weight and eating healthier because I wasn't getting him the things he wanted. Right now his chips and potato salad are not tempting me. Even the leftover Halloween candy is not bothering me right now. A year ago it would have kept calling my name, but I'm comfortable co-existing right now.
"Whenever Gary buys things that are not that healthy, I use a little and add things I need. When he wanted to split a can of Chunky Campbell's soup this week, I gave him 3/4's of it. To my 1/4 I added fresh green beans and organic low sodium black beans. If I had split the can with him I would have been way over on sodium that day. For now, we are both happy with this arrangement."
Current day, it basically still works, although I don't hesitate to have a boca burger and canned low sodium tomatoes with some oregano/basil/thyme on my whole wheat pasta when he's having frozen meatballs and Ragu sauce on his along with Cheesy Texas toast. He might take a couple bites of the salad, while I'll have a big bowl. It works for us!
Friday, January 10, 2014
On Nov 10, 2009, my daughter took some "after" pictures of me by our bougainvilla which was in full bloom in our front yard. These were my first after pictures and I titled one, "Skinny Me," posted it to my SparkPage and changed my profile picture. I felt proud; it was a good, motivating activity. I had lost 77 pounds total. At the time I could not find any before pictures, but I guess I didn't look hard enough. Eventually I found a bunch and learned how to scan them. I still find "skinny" pictures motivating.
Back in Nov '09 I was about driving myself crazy trying to hit all 75 nutrients I was tracking on SP. By a year later I tracked calories, carbs, protein, fat, fiber, sodium, and calcium. I ate a variety of fruits and veggies every day (still do) and quit worrying so much about all the vitamins and minerals. On days it didn't put me over on calcium, I took a multi-vitamin. (With my history of calcium siliate kidney stones I do not need too much calcium.) Tracking is really fairly rough estimates anyway. A SparkPeople staff RD answered my question on the "Get Help Here" message board and pointed out that many of the nutrients I worried about (like manganese) are not listed on labels and probably are not reflected on many of the foods in the SP database. Perhaps going back to tracking everything for a month some time this year might be a good strategy to see if there are trends I should be aware of and consider.
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