Thursday, January 16, 2014
Indulge me. I liked this blog, so I'm going to repeat it, although there isn't much profound about it. Nonetheless, I remember the event well. From 12/19/09:
"That's a beautiful blouse," I overheard an attractive woman say to a younger one who must have been her daughter.
She picked the blouse up and held it in front of her. "There's no way!" she said with disgust, almost flinging the blouse back on the rack .
I sized her up from the back as she stormed away. Maybe. The blouse went with me to the dressing room. I held my breath. It fit. Could I be smaller than that lovely lady?
After I purchased the blouse, I started to wonder. Did I buy the blouse because I really liked it or did I buy it because she liked it and couldn't?? I smiled. It doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter.
Today: I still fit nicely in a small petite and I still have that blouse. It is flattering. I think of this story every time I wear it.
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
When I looked at today's meal plan I broke out in laughter. Listed is one chocolate chip cookie at lunch time. Why would that be funny? The picture of me eating just one cookie on first thought just seemed unthinkable -- yes, downright funny. I mean, when I was a child my mom would bring out the cookies at the end of the meal and the four of us - mom, dad, me, and sister Deb - would finish off the three rows packaged in crunchy plastic. Like a pack of lions after a kill we'd all stay right at it to make sure we got our share. I thought 10-12 was the normal serving. And on those joyous times when my mom baked chocolate chip cookies, I ate chips out of the bag, dough out of the bowl, and enough broken ones that by the time they came to the table I might only eat 6 more.
Relearning portion sizes will be key for my permanent weight loss. I'm still a little ambivalent on whether it is better now for me to just leave out those sweet, fat tempting treats or try to learn to eat just one.
I was right. Relearning portion sizes has been key to keeping the 80 pounds off. Now most of the time I can eat one cookie if I want to. Often I'd rather have more volume of food - more fruits, veggies, whole grain, nonfat dairy - than to spend my calories on things that are so dense. I just like to eat a lot more than I like treats!
Occasionally, I must be careful. When I am tired, hungry, and stressed I must be careful. If I must bake cookies at such a time I would want someone to keep me company and help me pack them up for where they are going!
And occasionally I do really want a treat. I know I can have it and that is a great feeling!!
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
I'm reviewing my old blogs to see how far I've come, to look for issues still unresolved, and to see if there are some lessons I need to relearn.
On November 17, 2009, I had an experience I had never had before in my entire life. The scale was up, just by a few tenths of a pound, and I was okay with that. I was not trying to lose weight -- or feeling totally defeated -- for the first time in decades.
I wrote, "Losing weight is exciting, but all good things must come to an end." And, "the biggest thing for me to work on is making maintaining my weight second nature to me. That includes accepting that some days the scale will go up a bit."
Can't say that maintaining my weight is second nature, but I have taken steps forward. Probably the biggest change between today and 11/17/09 is that I BELIEVE I can maintain. I know what to do. (I may debate the optimum food plan, but I know several plans that will maintain my weight.) I know I can do it. As I have often written, it isn't always easy, but it is worth it. And I no longer freak out and assume I'm gaining it all back if the scale is up a bit!
Monday, January 13, 2014
I'm warming up and gathering speed as I travel down the runway to takeoff for my 5th anniversary of achieving a healthy weight after more than 5 decades of being overweight or obese. The date is still 8 weeks away. Am I overdoing this?? Yeah, maybe, but it is me. I'm happy living in a state of celebration!!
Reviewing my old blogs has been fun, too. Wish I'd been blogging during the time I lost the weight, but I didn't start until I came to SparkPeople and was getting close to my final goal weight. Okay, look at what I was blogging mid-November 2009:
* I told of knee pain on one day, but it was already much better the next day. I really hadn't remembered that knees had been an issue that recently. I've been running since January 2011 and have had no knee pain since then. I faithfully did the exercises in the SparkPeople article about strengthening and stretching knees and I'm sure it helped!
* I celebrated that granddaughter Natalie was potty trained. Well, now it is Gwen, her 3 year old sister. She's not had an accident in several weeks. Hubby has agreed to new carpet or flooring after this accomplishment. Time to start shopping!
* I shared that I had planned a whole day of eating and proposed to do a month of meal plans and shopping lists. I still do my best eating when I've planned ahead. I have made some meal plans, but they could still be improved.
Reading back, the blog that affected me the most I titled, "Regrets, I Have a Few...":
"Eating healthy feels so right now. How I wish I had found this lifestyle years ago. How would my life have been different?
"Oh, who knows. With more confidence I might have made more mistakes! LOL None of us can go back. So let's go forward, smarter and wiser.... "
But now, have I gone on "smarter and wiser"? There are times I still wonder what my teenage and young adult years would have been had I figured out how to eat healthy decades earlier. There are times I still want to blame my mom, and dad, for raising me fat. I recognize that there is nothing to be gained from such self-indulgent dreaming. There are times I still feel like I missed out. Well, so be it. This year a teenage family member who was so fit and beautiful made some bad mistakes that will affect her the rest of her life. It touched me in many ways. Of course, I want to support her now, but I also want to use this lesson to help me once and for all let go those things, those years, I cannot re-live. My life might not have been any better had I been a healthy weight my whole life. So, over 4 years ago, I knew I needed to let go this resentment and regret, but I'm still working on it!!
So, thanks, SparkFriends, for letting me share and vent. I truly enjoy living in a state of celebration of my health and fitness, even if I didn't get to it until late in life!!
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