SLENDERELLA61   159,262
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Innocent Victim

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

"Hi. How are you?" she asked enthusiastically.

I almost said, "131.6," but I knew that wasn't a good answer. "Fine," I mumbled. I was 129.0 yesterday.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Fluctuations," I said. "You know. My weight is up a couple pounds for no real reason. Well, maybe I didn't measure exact, or ate a bite I forgot to record, or maybe I was over on sodium, or something like that. But nothing major."

"Then you know, you'll be back down in a day or two," she said. "You shouldn't let it throw you."

"I know, I know," I said. "You are 100% right. It's just that it is so discouraging when I've worked so hard. Seeing that number go up when I didn't do anything wrong. Who is in control here? Major injustice. I feel like a convicted criminal who is innocent."

She laughed, "well, at least I don't have to come visit you behind bars."

I laughed, just a bit, too. "I really know this gain isn't anything. Thanks for confirming it for me. Now, are you ready for the bike ride we planned?"

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AQUAGIRL08 2/3/2010 4:20PM

    How true! Sometimes we let the scale define our success. It's really hard not to. You've come a long way and accomplished an amazing amount. I know that you'll continue to be successful despite whatever the scale says on any given day!

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PERSISTANT123 2/3/2010 11:04AM

    Loved your blog. It was a voice of experience letting me know that I'm not alone with the weight fluctuations.

It is for this exact reason that I am trying to avoid the scale except when I weigh in once a week.

Thanks! emoticon

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ONTHEGOMO 2/3/2010 10:05AM

    me, too! In spades. Happens all the time. I usually try to figure it out. Like I ate a cup of soup at a restaurant. Or that extra cup of coffee before bed. Or I ate too much a day or two earlier. I suppose it could be all of that. Not, surely, time of month, any more??? lol. I'm several pounds more than you - 134 is good for me and I panic at 137.

Now, granted, once in a while a lower (and supposedly undeserved) weight will show up. When it's too much lower I will get on the scale a second time. Somehow, when it's higher I don't do that.

And, too, when the weight is lower I relax a little. I tell myself I won't do that (but I do). Coming from 184 and sizes where I was overjoyed to be a 10 I SHOULD be just ecstatic all the time. I was sizes 14 - 16, too. And sometimes tight. So I LOVE my taken-in 4's and 2's when I can find them.

I went long periods not wearing pants or slacks or jeans because my hips/legs were too big.

Somehow logic doesn't work in this area for me. At my age, too!!

Keep on keeping on. The only alternative I can see is to quit weighing myself and I WOULD go back to where I came from and probably more.



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ONEKIDSMOM 2/2/2010 8:41PM

    Getting past the mindset that the number on the scale is our grade in life is a life-long challenge for some of us. Looks like your mind is in charge enough to recognize the reasonableness of your friend's statement: "You'll be back down in a day or two."

Hang in and keep maintaining your attitude! emoticon

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BESTSUSIEYET 2/2/2010 8:01PM

    Yep, those things happen -- but hooray for you, not letting it get you down and pulling you toward unhealthy choices. Keep up your good work!!

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JOHAL52 2/2/2010 6:09PM

    Measure yourself. See if you have gained any inches. In the grand scheme of things that's all that you and everyone else "sees"--the weight is just a general measurement.

emoticon Val

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MONTY68 2/2/2010 5:00PM

    Brilliant, That's one of the things I admire about you. Logically and I don't have an answer is that in order for you to actually gain 2.6 pounds in one day you would have consumed 8700 calories over what you need. Impossible !!!! so it must be one of those things that have no real meaning. I have weighed myself before I went to bed and maybe 4-5-6 pounds heavier then my AM reading and then wake up and it's gone. Where did it go? The jury is out and you have been found not guilty.
I hope you had a good bike ride.


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WALKINGANNIE 2/2/2010 4:21PM

    Now that surely is the voice of Experience.

This is the proper healthy-lifestyle-and-not-a-diet attitude.

You've got this malarkey cracked!

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JANNIEWANNIE 2/2/2010 4:09PM

    It is all really just a process with inherent ups and downs. We can do the best we can, but the results really are not in our control. Best thing you can do is go on your walk. Hope you are having a great day. Hugs from J

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People on a Diet vs. People Pursuing a Healthy Lifestyle

Monday, February 01, 2010

Page xv of The Spark, paraphrased in my words: People on a Diet Lose Weight; People who Follow a Healthy Lifestyle achieve lasting weight loss, improved fitness, better health, and -- what I wrote about 2 days ago -- the higher level of happiness.

Focusing on the positive is one of the keys to the healthy lifestyle. Eating plenty of fresh fruits and veggies (I am averaging about 8 servings daily now), eating a healthy breakfast, drinking water, getting in at least 2 teaspoons of healthy oil (that one I got from Weight Watchers), getting in 3 servings of milk a day, and enough lean protein are all positive steps I try to take each day. When I include 2 T to 1/4 cup of unsalted nuts I know I've done a good thing for me. When I decide to indulge in a moderate portion of a treat -- and enjoy every morsel and stop -- I know I have done well. I try to listen to my hunger. If I am truly hungry, I eat.

I used to be a dieter all focused on what I couldn't have. I thought that hunger was my friend. But I've found even if I can endure hunger for a while, it will tempt me into overdoing at some point. It just amazes me every day that I don't have to be hungry to be a normal weight. When I nourish my body and pursue a healthy lifestyle, life is so much better. There really isn't anything I can't have in moderation, but I've come to really enjoy -- at least 95% of the time -- eating healthy.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REDGRAMA 2/2/2010 1:32AM

    Your comments are ALWAys RIGHT ON THE MARK. You a WRITERS talent
You make a good journalist. Your BLOGS ARE ALWAYS A PLEASURE
TO READ. Thank you for taking the time to make things so clear to the rest of us.
Hugs, Nancy M.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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AQUAGIRL08 2/1/2010 6:05PM

    You are absolutely right! Mindful eating is the key to hunger control. Way to go!

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PEGGYANNSCH 2/1/2010 4:26PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WALKINGANNIE 2/1/2010 12:39PM

    Wise words as ever. I agree with all that you've said although I'm still trying to come to terms with an 'all or nothing' approach. I am allowing myself 'calculated treats' now but finding that they're not nearly as enticing as I'd remembered!

Your blogs are very reinforcing and I'm grateful that you keep sharing your observations. Thanks again.

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MONTY68 2/1/2010 12:32PM

    Very good blog, in fact your page is filled with excitement and positive ideas. The statement of those who diet gain it back is correct, I know , been there done that until I reached the age of 67 and said enough is enough. Changed my attitude and learned how to eat properly. that was 2 1/2 years ago. Your positive attitude on life and healthy lifestyle should be inspiring to those that are just starting their new way of life. Your blog absolutely mirrors what you have accomplished. I am glad I found your blog today. Keep writing and keep motivating those that need it. Thank you for sharing.

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Wow, Do I Feel Great!

Sunday, January 31, 2010

I just got back from a 15 minute bike ride in my neighborhood in the crisp air. That would not be so remarkable, except (drum roll here) my husband went with me! It was the first time we have done any activity together for many years. I certainly hope it won't be the last.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TSISQUAUSDI 1/31/2010 9:34PM

    You are so inspiring, and your happiness is contagious - Thank you!

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JOHAL52 1/31/2010 6:35PM

    That sounds wonderful!!

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PO_PAZZA 1/31/2010 6:20PM

    I loved reading that you and your spouse rode bikes together. We need to do more of that, too, because it's fun when we do. My husband likes to do a two-mile very fast walk up and down our hilly road 3 times a week. I don't enjoy running to keep up with him or jumping into ditches when cars speed by so I do most of my workout at the gym or on the beach with a friend. It's always a treat, though, when he and I find something we enjoy together (backpacking or country trail walking). Too far between sessions, though.

I could picture you, rosy cheeks and big smile as you savored the ride.


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REDGRAMA 1/31/2010 6:06PM

    Congratulation on ALL that you have accomplished.
emoticon emoticonfor getting your hubby to go with you.

Hugs, Nancy M.

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ONEKIDSMOM 1/31/2010 4:20PM

    emoticon Good for you! And good for him... glad he's being inspired and joining in the fun.

emoticon emoticon

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DONNABRIGHT 1/31/2010 2:23PM


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WALKINGANNIE 1/31/2010 1:45PM

    Sound like a lovely thing to do.

I'm sure that you must be elated about completing Boot Camp as well - and rightly so.

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SLIMMERJESSE 1/31/2010 12:23PM

    How wonderful! More fun is in-store, I'm sure. Good for you both!

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AMBUDMAN 1/31/2010 12:19PM

    Sounds like fun. I have been thinking of getting a real bike, my recumbent is just not the same.

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People are Nourished by People as Much as by Food

Saturday, January 30, 2010

"people are nourished by each other as much as by food." - The Spark, page xi

In my day to day life I rarely meet someone who understands, or at least someone who understands and talks about, their struggles with food. When I go to my WW meetings and when I come to the SparkPeople boards I meet people who understand.

Even more wonderful, at SP there are whole groups of us who have -- at least for now -- conquered the fat. We want to keep it that way. If I lived my life day by day I might never meet another person who would talk about losing weight and keeping it off. As I often say, it isn't easy, but it is worth it.

It helps so much to know I'm not alone. Thank you so much for being there for me!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BESTSUSIEYET 1/31/2010 11:03PM

    Thanks for your sweet comments on my blog. I'm proud to 'know' another gal in the same age range who has met her goal and is striving to maintain the loss and improve overall health! Imagine your days are very full with your dear little grand-daughter! I had my 2.5 yr old and 5 yr old grandkids this weekend, and I find it much harder to work in exercise when they're here. Keep up your good work, and thanks for being an encouragement to so many! emoticon

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PO_PAZZA 1/31/2010 6:22PM

    Thank YOU, dear one. It has been a joy to find someone of like mind in the same stage of the process. I hope you don't mind being held up as a role model.


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PEGGYANNSCH 1/31/2010 8:23AM

    how true

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AQUAGIRL08 1/31/2010 6:00AM

    How true! I couldn't have any measure of success without my support community (of which you are a major part!).

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FRAN0426 1/30/2010 4:55PM

    What a wonderful blog and oh so true. Sparkspeople has made so many sparkers friends to help one another,and there when one reachs a tough patch in this journey.

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WALKINGANNIE 1/30/2010 1:57PM

    Agree with you totally. I don't know of anywhere else where such fantastic support is available for people trying to maintain. I've learnt so much from and about other people - and about myself because of other people's wisdom and experience.

You are one of the people whose words and deeds inspire me, so many thanks to you and BIG CONGRATULATIONS ON FINISHING BOOT CAMP!!!!

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REDGRAMA 1/30/2010 1:16PM

    As USUAL dear team member Great BLOG. GREAT TRUTH.
Hugs, Nancy M.
emoticon emoticon

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JOHAL52 1/30/2010 11:28AM

    SP helps to remind me to stay with it because I read about so many people who are moving forward, some fast, some slow. And when I hit a rough patch, I know I am not the only person who has gone through something like that. But we still make it through if we keep connected and keep focused on the goals we've written here.

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SLIMMERJESSE 1/30/2010 11:08AM

    I totally agree that being here with others who understand is invaluable for me and my progress. Have a wonderful day.

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RAYLINSTEPHENS 1/30/2010 11:04AM

    ...and thank you for being here for me too!

It does help knowing we are not alone! Food addiction is the toughest to break because we cannot survive without food.

Love you,

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AMBUDMAN 1/30/2010 10:55AM

    I have found since I joined Spark People I talk to more people about eating healthy and taking care of yourself. The more we can interact with other people the more we can make a difference.

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JUSTFOXXY 1/30/2010 9:37AM

    How true! I know that I draw energy from people which is why I try to stay around positive folks. It helps me mentally. emoticon

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Introduction, Page xi

Friday, January 29, 2010

On the first page of The Spark, in the first paragraph of the introduction are the words "reaping great benefits, such as higher levels of happiness....." It says that people who discover "a new way of living and thinking about their weight, their health, and their lives" build confidence and grow personally.

Have I gained happiness by losing 45 pounds in the last 13 months? (80 less than my 1998 high) Funny, I don't think about it that way. Perhaps I should. I remember being unhappy with my weight. I remember being disgusted at my weight and with my eating behavior. I'm more or less content with my weight the way it is now. Most days I'm pleased with the healthy way I am eating. But, I'm still concerned (I almost wrote scared) that I'll gain. Need to still work on that confidence.

Achieving a healthy weight doesn't mean you have more meaningful relationships, succeed at work, avoid all health challenges, or have financial security. Yet, life at goal weight is better. It isn't easy, but it is worth it. A healthy weight might not mean automatic unqualified happiness, but for me it got rid of a source of unhappiness. You know, I think SparkGuy is right. And I need to look at this achievement more positively. I have truly achieved a "higher level of happiness." I'll work on that confidence and personal growth thing, too.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AQUAGIRL08 1/29/2010 8:23PM

    I've had lots of ups and downs since I started on Spark People due to health issues. One thing I can say is, hands down, I am a much more positive and happier person than I was when I started. I have more energy and I just plain like myself more than I used to. Weight loss aside, that is a big change for me and for a lot of other people. The change in attitude makes a person much more attractive to be around. The weight loss is just a wonderful side benefit!

Comment edited on: 1/29/2010 8:24:14 PM

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WALKINGANNIE 1/29/2010 1:29PM

    Wise, as ever.

I think that my weight loss (almost the same as yours) has brought me a sense of satisfaction rather than 'happiness', although I do have some moments of euphoria and involuntary smiling at mini-achievements.

Like you I'm concerned (scared?) about regaining. I'm also nervous about losing too much, especially as I've never been in this situation before, but I'm feeling more confident about finding a balance. You seem to be more sorted on this than I am?

You're right about weight loss not being the answer to all life's problems but it's satisfying to have control in an area that was out of control before.

Looking forward to the Spark being delivered!

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PO_PAZZA 1/29/2010 12:34PM

    Now that I've hit "goal" weight, I'll be looking to you for mentoring. Feeling any pressure, my dear? I know it's a tricky road, but this will be the first time in my life I will be successful at maintaining. I read your questions about my next steps on my blog. Any tips you have will be most welcomed because it's all new to me.


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PERSISTANT123 1/29/2010 10:27AM

    How is your life different now that you have lost the 45 pounds? How do you feel now that you have achieved a milestone that many of us only can believe they will achieve with constant consistency?

I was not unhappy at my high weight, but I also know it also was an excuse for me to avoid going for things I really wanted. Losing weight doesn't make you happier, more loving, etc., but it does change you.

emoticon I, for one, want to applaud you on your achievement. The fact that you have stuck with it for a year is a feather in your cap. I just hope I can do as well. Thanks for being a role model for me!

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PEGGYANNSCH 1/29/2010 9:53AM

    you do what you can

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