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Careful, Be Very Careful Today

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Perhaps you read my update. I got up to watch the 4:39am launch of the shuttle Endeavor. Here at our central Florida home we can clearly see night launches when we look east toward Cape Kennedy from our front yard.

This morning was suppose to be the last night launch of the shuttle ever. I thought it would be worth giving up a little sleep to see it. Well, disappointment, it was scrubbed at 4:30am due to cloud cover. Bigger disappointment, I could not get back to sleep. Man, I am really tired. My eyes are drooping , everything looks a little fuzzy, and I swear I can feel the blood pulsing in my arms.

So far, this blog has seemed off topic, but it isn't. I'm just about to relate fatigue to weight maintenance and exercise.

When I'm tired, it's almost like I'm drunk. My inhibitions are way down. And I get hungry when I'm tired. Maybe that is because food provides energy. When I'm tired, I need energy. I crave carbs first.Then I crave meat. Then I want fruit and nuts. I want not one sandwich, but six.

And then there is the exercise part. When I'm tired I want to sit. Sit and eat that is, but even the sit part becomes an effort. It might be too much effort. I just might have to lay down. Okay. I got with it and used my little bit of morning energy for strength training and a 3 mile bicycle ride. I'm scheduled to burn 307 calories today, and so far I've got 100. And all I want to do is hold my head that feels so weird perfectly still. But I am not going to get off track. I can do my scheduled cardio! I can do it! Eyes drooping or not, I can!

Perhaps I will take a nap after cardio and before the SuperBowl. It might help. But one thing I know is today I am going to be very, very mindful of what I eat; very, very careful. I am going to drink plenty of water and plenty of steamed veggies and I'm not going to skimp on protein. I'm going to make sure I don't overdo the simple carbs. If I go over a little today on fruits, meats, or veggies, I'll be okay with that.

Tonight I'm going to get a great night's sleep, one way or another. However, I probably will get up for the 4:13 rescheduled launch of Endeavor. Just hard headed, I guess.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOHAL52 2/7/2010 5:30PM

    Very timely (time, sleep, yeah they're related) blog! The other thing I've found is that it's best to exercise early. Not only to get it done but also for the lift it gives me all day. And I feel like eating less too because I've done something good for my body.

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WALKINGANNIE 2/7/2010 1:36PM

    I love the honesty that you share when you're dealing with these things, Marsha. Your blogs help us all to recognise things in our own behaviour that we need to look out for and manage.

Some days are much easier than others but dangers lurk sometimes when we're ill-prepared. Perhaps one of the most important parts of maintenance is recognising our own trigger factors and facing them head-on as you're doing today.

Hope your plans work and that you enjoy seeing the launch this time with maximum pleasure and minimum disruption.

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JCORYCMA 2/7/2010 1:03PM

    I sure hope it's just lack of sleep that's making your head feel funny and not an inner ear issue, impending migraine, or anything else goofy like that. (Can you tell I'm a nurse?!?) The nap sounds like a great idea and if it is just tiredness, the nap will cure it! I slept good last night, but I might just take one too -- a sympathy nap just for you emoticon

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SLIMMERJESSE 2/7/2010 12:48PM

    YOU ARE A VERY LUCKY DUCK! (smiling) I have always wanted to see a launch - day or night. Heard on the radio yesterday that this is the last night launch ever. I would get chills each time, as I do when watching on TV. I imagine you feel the earth shaking at lift-off and gaze with wonderment at the amazing aspects of it all?

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LAPRATH 2/7/2010 11:56AM

  Sounds like some of my days. My mornings are fine, but by afternoons I drag and have to really watch what I eat....carbs give me only a little energy.

"Nothing's Easy"

BarbaraLa emoticon

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MONTY68 2/7/2010 11:49AM

    What you hardheaded? I think your blog is a good reminder of what can happen to our bodies, especially with needing rest. In knowing you, you certainly are one that would be aware and to do your best to avoid unhealthy foods. I would hope you are going to take a nap. That will help or you will be watching the super bowl and find out you fell asleep.
When I saw your earlier comment about the launch being canceled and my comment to you. Your blog doesn't surprise me, You really have such a wonderful awareness of you and life and sharing it with us is a blessing.
Take your nap, enjoy the game and see you at the launch.


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DONNABRIGHT 2/7/2010 11:46AM

    I'm not sure I could get myself up for the launch although they are beautiful to see from our yard, also.

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NWFL59 2/7/2010 11:42AM

    Congratulations on your achievement of goal and maintenance of that goal. I hope you were successful in completing your exercise routine and meeting your nutritional needs. Good luck with seeing the launch! Best wishes for continued success along your wellness journey!

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PO_PAZZA 2/7/2010 11:39AM

    Oh, how I'd love to see a launch. We see missiles go up from Vandenberg AFB (about 40 miles from us), but the shuttle launch facility constructed here has never been used. Once I saw the contrail and heard the sonic boom when the shuttle came in at Edwards. How thrilling for you to be so close.

You are not hard-headed, just living in the moment and not wanting to miss anything. Nothing wrong with that. I hope they make the next launch.

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What Do You Tell Yourself?

Saturday, February 06, 2010

Internal dialog or self talk is something I never really noticed for years. I mean, how could I not notice that every day, probably every waking hour, and probably many times in most waking hours, I was talking to myself? Most of the time the thoughts that came to me, the thoughts I picked up on and reinforced, were not positive ones. Yet I just ignored what I was doing to myself.

In the last decade I've become more aware of my self talk and have tried to be more accepting, more kind, and more helpful to myself. I try to be my own best friend. I doubt if I could have lost the weight and kept it off this long if I had not improved my self talk. Yet, the concept of "giving myself a pep talk" [page 128, The Spark, had just not occurred to me.

Well, from here on out I intend to be my own best cheerleader. I am setting my sites on first, convincing myself that I can maintain a healthy weight. Of course I can! I am doing it. Isn't that proof??? Every day we make hundreds of little choices that all add up. I intend to cheer -- loudly, internally -- with each good choice. An hour walk -- "Way to go, Marsha!" Another glass of water -- "You are almost there!" Delicious SparkRecipe -- "You really can cook healthy!" In the calorie range today -- "That's the way to maintain!" And when any of those negative thoughts dare to flash through my mind, I intend to just let them sail on by!

What are you telling yourself?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MONGO2TEN 2/7/2010 5:54AM

    I think this has been one of the hardest things I've had to change, but it's so made the difference in many ways in my life. Thanks for sharing:)


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    Loved this blog!

Love you too, Marsha! Keep the thoughts positive and your inner glow becomes your outer beauty!

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WATERMELLEN 2/6/2010 4:56PM

    Love this reminder about positive "self talk" and I'm going to read that section of The Spark again!

(little glimpse in the mirror *looking pretty good, size 8s nice and loose Ellen!*)

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MONTY68 2/6/2010 4:21PM

    What am I telling myself? That I am glad that I found you as a friend. I agree 100% with what you say and probably in the last year I have complimented myself but not as often as I should.
Keep up the writing and we will have to make you write a book.


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PO_PAZZA 2/6/2010 4:14PM

    I'm thinking you could be writing a book for all of us to follow, Marsha. There are so many tidbits of wisdom and insight in your words.


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WALKINGANNIE 2/6/2010 4:13PM

    You can add to that list that you blog wisely and thoughtfully, Marsha.

Thanks as ever.

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ONEKIDSMOM 2/6/2010 3:50PM

    Add this one for you, Marsha, "You're getting wiser every day!" emoticon emoticon emoticon

Thanks for sharing that growing wisdom... that's a lesson I am working on, too!

Comment edited on: 2/6/2010 3:50:52 PM

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KSHAGGY 2/6/2010 3:27PM

    Good for you Marsha, I am working on that as well....but this journey is just beginning for me.

Keep up the great work! emoticon

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Screen Name Results

Friday, February 05, 2010

A week ago I was considering changing my screen name. I love it when my now (as of today) 3 year old granddaughter calls me Old Mom. She was the one who gave me that name, so it is special. Yet, it seemed like adults -- and especially adults I don't get to meet in person-- might be construed it as negative.

I appreciate all the input, pro and con, my SparkFriends had to offer. I did learn, too, that I wouldn't have to give up all my points and start over if I decide to change screen names. At the moment, though, no other screen name really appeals to me.

So, for now, I've decided to keep OldMom. When Natalie starts calling me something else, maybe I'll change it. Or maybe some day a name will just occur to me and I'll have to have it. We'll see.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ONEKIDSMOM 2/7/2010 9:25PM

    I like your name and totally get it.

I've been "OneKidsMom" online for probably 15 years, and it gets a little misconstrued at times, too. But I am used to it, and back when I acquired it, I had a lone school aged child. Now he's grown, married, and in Iraq, serving his country. I could call myself other things... but I'd only confuse myself, if I did. emoticon

It's kind of like changing your phone number once everybody you know has it in their auto-dialer! If you ever do change, let us all know, so we can find you!

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WALKINGANNIE 2/6/2010 2:28PM

    Glad you've made your choice and are happy with it. It's lovely to have a name with such special meaning and memories.

You have such a positive attitude in your blogs that it seems unlikely that anyone who 'meets' you online would attach any negative perceptions to your name.

Here's to OLDMOM3!!

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AQUAGIRL08 2/6/2010 11:51AM

    I'm glad that you decided to keep your screen name. Natalie is such a special child and you are a special person in her life.

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JOHAL52 2/6/2010 11:19AM

    Perhaps Natalie will start calling you HotMamma [grin].

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MONGO2TEN 2/6/2010 10:15AM

    My screen name is Mongo2seven. That's because my first grandson named me that. He called me that because whenever someone came into the kitchen when he was a baby, if I wasn't there, they'd ask, "Where did Mom go?" He thought they were asking for Mongo, so that's my name. I am now Mongo to seven grandchildren, including one that is due in a month and I love it!


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SLIMMERJESSE 2/6/2010 9:23AM

    As Shakespeare said, "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." Have a good day.

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REDGRAMA 2/6/2010 3:40AM

    Well Marsha,looks like the JURY IS IN. OLDMOM REMAINS.
Use it in GOOD HEALTH for many,many more years.

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PO_PAZZA 2/6/2010 1:33AM

    When I first saw your Spark Page and your beautiful photo with that lovely child, somehow I knew that was a child's name for you. I think it's charming, but your opinion overrides all others.

I use Mollyme, not because my name is Molly, but my dad used to call me that and sing a song that went, "Oh me, oh my, Miss Molly, I'm in love with you." I think of him whenever I see the name. It's nice when our usernames have fond personal meanings.


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FRAN0426 2/6/2010 12:38AM

    I think it is wonderful that oldmom has a special meaning enough for you to use it as your screen name. When I choose mine I thought of using nanafran as that is what my little graddaughter calls me, I decided to go with the name I chose as it didn't need changing for other sites. Funny thing that granddaughter is after me to change my screen name. She said everyone must think you name is Frano 426(birth mo and date) not Fran 0426--so there you go, whatever makes one happy is my motto.

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INDEJAM09 2/5/2010 11:27PM


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KENDRALONG 2/5/2010 11:23PM

    The name is very special to you - so you should keep it. Who cares if other people think it is negative. You know the truth behind it. :) I wish I had a name so special to use!

Best of luck to you.

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Getting Past the Mindset that Scale Number is our Grade in Life

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

"Getting past the mindset that the number on the scale is our grade in life is a life long challenge for some of us," ONEKIDSMOM responded to my blog yesterday. Those words stayed with me all day, kept resurfacing in my thoughts.

You know I was one of those kids -- perhaps you would call us overachievers -- who put way too much emphasis on grades. I sat very still in class, because being still was being good. My parents were both teachers. Getting good grades was almost everything. As my weight went up, I was embarrassed to run. I didn't want anyone to see my fat jiggle. (Oh, I wish Bigger Loser had been popular then!)

But as my weight went up, I studied more and more. That is where I was having success. Success leads to success, just as Chris SparkGuy says. My "streaks" were all those grades on daily and weekly papers, midterms, and finals.

My attempts to lose weight were over and over again dismal failures. Times I had little successes were short lived. I never felt good about eating; I thought I was too fat to eat anything, but just couldn't help myself. I felt awful about the way I looked.

Now my streaks are water, cardio, fruit/veggies, milk servings, healthy breakfast, etc. I feel good about putting healthy food in my body.

But it does sometimes feel like the scale is the report card. But ONEKIDSMOM put it right into perspective. There is so much more to me than the number on the scale. I know it. But I'm still glad I'm back down to 129.2 today!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REDGRAMA 2/5/2010 6:22PM

    ONEKIDSMOM & OLDMOM you are both so RIGHT. But the SAD truth is
Ie She/He is a great COOK, she's such a GOOD MOTHER, her house
is always clean, what a GREAT house KEEPER and on,and on it goes
We have COOKING, BAKING, BEAUTY CONTEST ECT. How can WE NOT grade ourselfs and our lives????

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ONEKIDSMOM 2/3/2010 9:28PM

    Wow... I got quoted! . o O (Blushes)

Seriously, continuing the analogy, and making it work for us. You recognize one day's "grade" as a homework grade and then work a little harder so the exam grade is better... works for me.

I always feel confirmed when the prediction, "it will come back off if you just get back on track for a few days" comes true, too!

Good job not giving in! emoticon

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MONTY68 2/3/2010 6:31PM

    I am certainly glad I had found you and added you as a friend, Again, You are amazing. I guess I could read this looking in the mirror and think it was me, including the teacher. emoticon emoticon
I look forward to each day to see what you wrote and today you just decided to take your longest bike ride. Wow!!!!

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AQUAGIRL08 2/3/2010 4:24PM

    I sometimes let the scale have way toooooo much power over me too. On the other hand, it also holds me accountable. The trick is to achieve a balance and to judge your overall success by many factors. When I was growing up there didn't seem to be as many ways to measure your lifestyle success as there are now. I think changing that mindset may take us a while!

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WALKINGANNIE 2/3/2010 3:42PM

    Similar story from me too. I wonder why there's a group of us who have achieved well academically but who have found the concepts involved in managing weight so difficult to translate into physical results. Until now.

One of the main benefits that I'm getting from SP is that I can now understand and apply things that I already knew, or thought I knew, but that I hadn't really 'got'. Exchanging thoughts by blogs and comments has helped to tease out some concepts and ideas. It's just so good to find people who articulate similar feelings and experiences and share the ways in which they are dealing with them.

I thought your blog yesterday was so very sensible - but I share your joy that the scale has shifted again for you.

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TALLTABBY 2/3/2010 2:26PM

  I am the same way. I keep looking at the scale as my report card. I am trying hard not to let it detirmine how I am doing, but its very hard. I think I am going to start scaling back how often I weigh in.

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PO_PAZZA 2/3/2010 2:11PM

    I can identify with every single word of this blog, right down to being that kid in school. Thank you for putting it in print to remind us.


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Innocent Victim

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

"Hi. How are you?" she asked enthusiastically.

I almost said, "131.6," but I knew that wasn't a good answer. "Fine," I mumbled. I was 129.0 yesterday.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Fluctuations," I said. "You know. My weight is up a couple pounds for no real reason. Well, maybe I didn't measure exact, or ate a bite I forgot to record, or maybe I was over on sodium, or something like that. But nothing major."

"Then you know, you'll be back down in a day or two," she said. "You shouldn't let it throw you."

"I know, I know," I said. "You are 100% right. It's just that it is so discouraging when I've worked so hard. Seeing that number go up when I didn't do anything wrong. Who is in control here? Major injustice. I feel like a convicted criminal who is innocent."

She laughed, "well, at least I don't have to come visit you behind bars."

I laughed, just a bit, too. "I really know this gain isn't anything. Thanks for confirming it for me. Now, are you ready for the bike ride we planned?"

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AQUAGIRL08 2/3/2010 4:20PM

    How true! Sometimes we let the scale define our success. It's really hard not to. You've come a long way and accomplished an amazing amount. I know that you'll continue to be successful despite whatever the scale says on any given day!

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PERSISTANT123 2/3/2010 11:04AM

    Loved your blog. It was a voice of experience letting me know that I'm not alone with the weight fluctuations.

It is for this exact reason that I am trying to avoid the scale except when I weigh in once a week.

Thanks! emoticon

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ONTHEGOMO 2/3/2010 10:05AM

    me, too! In spades. Happens all the time. I usually try to figure it out. Like I ate a cup of soup at a restaurant. Or that extra cup of coffee before bed. Or I ate too much a day or two earlier. I suppose it could be all of that. Not, surely, time of month, any more??? lol. I'm several pounds more than you - 134 is good for me and I panic at 137.

Now, granted, once in a while a lower (and supposedly undeserved) weight will show up. When it's too much lower I will get on the scale a second time. Somehow, when it's higher I don't do that.

And, too, when the weight is lower I relax a little. I tell myself I won't do that (but I do). Coming from 184 and sizes where I was overjoyed to be a 10 I SHOULD be just ecstatic all the time. I was sizes 14 - 16, too. And sometimes tight. So I LOVE my taken-in 4's and 2's when I can find them.

I went long periods not wearing pants or slacks or jeans because my hips/legs were too big.

Somehow logic doesn't work in this area for me. At my age, too!!

Keep on keeping on. The only alternative I can see is to quit weighing myself and I WOULD go back to where I came from and probably more.



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ONEKIDSMOM 2/2/2010 8:41PM

    Getting past the mindset that the number on the scale is our grade in life is a life-long challenge for some of us. Looks like your mind is in charge enough to recognize the reasonableness of your friend's statement: "You'll be back down in a day or two."

Hang in and keep maintaining your attitude! emoticon

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BESTSUSIEYET 2/2/2010 8:01PM

    Yep, those things happen -- but hooray for you, not letting it get you down and pulling you toward unhealthy choices. Keep up your good work!!

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JOHAL52 2/2/2010 6:09PM

    Measure yourself. See if you have gained any inches. In the grand scheme of things that's all that you and everyone else "sees"--the weight is just a general measurement.

emoticon Val

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MONTY68 2/2/2010 5:00PM

    Brilliant, That's one of the things I admire about you. Logically and I don't have an answer is that in order for you to actually gain 2.6 pounds in one day you would have consumed 8700 calories over what you need. Impossible !!!! so it must be one of those things that have no real meaning. I have weighed myself before I went to bed and maybe 4-5-6 pounds heavier then my AM reading and then wake up and it's gone. Where did it go? The jury is out and you have been found not guilty.
I hope you had a good bike ride.


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WALKINGANNIE 2/2/2010 4:21PM

    Now that surely is the voice of Experience.

This is the proper healthy-lifestyle-and-not-a-diet attitude.

You've got this malarkey cracked!

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JANNIEWANNIE 2/2/2010 4:09PM

    It is all really just a process with inherent ups and downs. We can do the best we can, but the results really are not in our control. Best thing you can do is go on your walk. Hope you are having a great day. Hugs from J

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