Wednesday, October 05, 2011
My very wise SparkFriend Monty68 wrote something that I've been thinking about all day. In part he wrote, " I also think there comes a time when we drop the maintenance and define ourself as living life. It doesn't mean we forget about maintenance, we have a new awareness of just knowing."
I don't think I'm there yet, at least not for very long at a time. Perhaps my two week trip in which I had plenty of challenges but successfully maintained was "just living life." I didn't ask for anything special, but just ate smaller portions when the veggies were covered with butter, cheese, or other sauce. When there were naked fruits and veggies I enjoyed more than my share I suppose. I didn't add butter or margarine to anything and often didn't eat the bread at all. Sometimes I noticed relatives adding lots of butter and salt to things or taking a second dessert and wondered if I had been like that, and then realized that I had been just like that. I passed up a couple desserts, but ate some, too. I drank my coffee black if it was good coffee.
I honestly was not sure, though, how I had done. I thought I looked bigger in the mirror and then thought that my clothes fit looser. So perhaps I need to work on that "just knowing" thing. Guess it is a matter of confidence. No, I'm not quite there yet and I'm not going to pressure myself to get there right away. But now, thanks to Monty, I look forward to the time when I just live life and just know.