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Choice

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Reprinted from:
Green Bough (email) home to Oriah Mountain Dreamer



I really find Oriah a fascinating person. She is a naturalist and purest, in my eyes at any rate, and she inspires me to think in many ways! I get emails from her that really pick me up and help with some decisions that I make along the way. She also has a very beautiful but plain way of scattering and sharing her thoughts. Since I am off to the oncology clinic today I thought that I would share with you!



I’m not a fan of pithy capitalized slogans presented as complete and helpful truths instead of mere titles. It’s not that “Live Your BIG Dreams” is an unworthy goal, (although I suspect dreams qualified as BIG in a extroverted consumer culture may not be in alignment with my values) but I always want to ask: What does that mean- look like, feel like, taste like- in one particular human life?

When my sons were small I was ill for many months. Mostly I laid on the living room carpet with these two wonderful beings in my care so I wouldn’t have far to fall and couldn’t drop anyone when I was momentarily dizzy. I didn’t need to Dream BIG. I need a bath and a twelve hour nap. I was overflowing with and soaked in love (and breast milk and spit-up and baby pee.) I needed to find ways to get groceries, do a load of laundry and calm my fears that I’d be incapacitated by illness and exhaustion forever.

Because I’ve been writing a book about choice, I’m particularly aware of how often “Choice” features in many popular slogans: Happiness Is A Choice; Love Is A Choice; Forgiveness Is A Choice; Gratitude Is A Choice. . . . the list is endless. Most often I want to ask: Is it? Is it in this moment for everyone? Is it always?

Now, I get the point of these snappy declarations- they’re trying to encourage us to make choices that result in and come from love and forgiveness and other good stuff. But even that gives them too much credit. They don’t say: “Making Choices That Cultivate Happiness Is (Often) An Option”- they say, “Happiness Is A Choice”- as if you could just give yourself a smack on the forehead and remember that you forgot to turn on the happiness faucet this morning. This is at best misleading and at worst a potential cause for increased suffering as it tempts us to believe that our or another's unhappiness is actively and consciously "chosen" and therefore deserved.

In my work with individuals I often hear the “should” of inner and outer judgment planted by these sayings. People doing their best to deal with painful illnesses, trauma, and heart-breaking losses tell me again and again that they “should” be able to do better, be happier, to let go of fear, or sorrow and "get over" what is happening "faster." It makes my heart ache to hear the coals of suffering heaped on top of what is often real pain.

Can we make choices that will cultivate fear or happiness?

Often, yes. And sometimes we're swept along by pain, or grief, or fear, or unconscious material (which by definition isn’t accessible to choice until it is brought to consciousness.) Of course sometimes we can make choices- to do inner work, to be with those who support us, to ask for help, to take good care of ourselves- that will expand our ability to cultivate happiness, forgiveness and gratitude, make us more available to love. But the assertion that it's just a matter of choosing to be a certain way can prompt us to shove experiences that don’t align with this assumption (our moments of feeling unhappy, unforgiving or ungrateful) into our unconscious where they shape and limit our choices without us even knowing it is happening.

It can be scary to simply sit with the fact that in any given moment real choices are shaped and sometimes limited by inner and outer conditions. Of course, conditions change- and we can actively choose to change or work toward changing many of them- and this can expand and deepen the real choices we have. 

But, in the meantime (which is to say- while we’re still human beings) perhaps we could step away from pretending to know more than we can possibly know about another’s real available choices, can give each other and ourselves a little credit for doing the best we can with what we have to work with in this moment. In the next moment we may offer or be offered or make a choice that will give us or someone else more to work with, and we’ll do the best we can with that.  

I’m just sayin’: 

Not Pretending We Are In Complete & Conscious Control Of Absolutely EVERYTHING- Is A Choice!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NASFKAB 2/26/2013 10:54PM

  true praying for you

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LOLABLACK69 2/26/2013 7:19AM

    So true...

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AWESOMECHELZ 2/26/2013 6:52AM

    My friend, I have prayed for you and wish you the very best. Actually, before I even read your blog, before I even went online, your name came to my mind as I was praying this morning and I was going to ask you how your oncology appointments have been going. Interesting, isn't it? And then I saw your blog. I feel the Spirit was sending me in your direction. I pray for you to have peace in your soul no matter what the doctor says. Peace is such a precious gift in this world of problems. And, if you don't mind, could I have your full name sent through an email here so I can give your name to my prayer circle?

Thinking of you, my friend. Love, Chelsea emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SANDRALEET 2/26/2013 6:39AM

    So true Some of whot happens is not of our making Some is put how much are those controlled by whot happened First.Abuse and drug use Unloved and food for comfort .In my life I first had to come to terms with my past let go forgive and then move on A process that toke years You do not fully under stand unless it happens to you.

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In all honesty

Monday, February 25, 2013


White Chrysanthemum
This gorgeous flower represents truth and honesty

Some time ago when I was reading my AM emails, I received a poem on honesty. It's funny when I looked for it this morning, I couldn't find it nor do I know how young or old it is! But I do know that the “magic” of the poem was still with me and that is quite a feat for any author! So let me say that while that these maybe are my words, the thought was planted by the inspiration of a true poet whose words will exceed the expectation of writing them down!



In all honesty
today has been
something ordinary.

In all honesty
walking a country road
is more exhilarating than anything else.

In all honesty
waking up this morning
is a gift to me

In all honesty
a hug will
go a long way

In all honesty
watching the morning sunrise
can bring tears to anyone's eyes.

In all honesty
listening to the morning breeze
is like a sweet caress

In all honesty
sharing fear or pain
is the mark of a true friend

In all honesty
I'm the only person
I'm mostly honest to.

In all honesty
this poem
is entirely honest. 


Cows are said to convey honesty




  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NASFKAB 2/26/2013 5:42AM

  beautiful thanks

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SNUZSUZ 2/25/2013 8:11PM

    Me too!

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SANDRALEET 2/25/2013 7:16AM

    Live it for very good advice

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AWESOMECHELZ 2/25/2013 6:40AM

    What a beautiful way to start my day. emoticon Thank you and God bless! Love, Chelsea

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DAJAMOGU1 2/25/2013 6:04AM

    In all honesty, I love this! THanks for sharing.

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Passing ON What We Feel

Sunday, February 24, 2013



Ted Engstrom in High Performance (Here’s Life Publishers, 1988) tells the story of a trusted advisor of President Abraham Lincoln who recommended a candidate for Lincoln’s cabinet. Lincoln declined and when asked why, he said, “I don’t like the man’s face.”

“But the poor man is not responsible for his face,” his adviser insisted. “Every man over forty is responsible for his face,” Lincoln replied, and the prospect was considered no more.

Lincoln, of course, was referring to the man’s expression and disposition rather than his features. A face conveys the thoughts and attitudes nurtured in a mind. We are responsible for how we will “face” each day.

One woman reported that she had just paid for some purchases when she heard the cashier say something. Not understanding, she asked her to repeat it. “I said have a happy day,” the cashier snapped. “Are you deaf?” Here is a person who seems to be unaware of how she is facing others.

Earl Nightingale put it like this: “Our attitude is something we can control. We can establish our attitude each morning when we start our day.

In fact, we do just that whether we realize it or not.”

You are already choosing your attitudes every day. Your ultimate happiness or misery depends as much on your disposition as on your circumstances.

Face the day with hope and confidence, generosity and love, and you’ll find yourself choosing to be happy. And you may be surprised at how much others like your face!

What do you or I convey?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOLABLACK69 2/26/2013 7:11AM

    Well, it's sounds about right to me... I try to smile and be as polite and nice to everyone as much as I can, because it's really nice when someone treats me that way. I mean, you can't help those days when the world just hammers you down any you want to be left alone, but other than that - every time possible! emoticon

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SNUZSUZ 2/25/2013 10:50AM

    Great!

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PATRICIA441 2/24/2013 11:51AM

  When I first wake up I thank God for keeping me safe through the night and thank Him for my many blessings. I decide that whatever the day will bring He will get me through.When you smile others smile with you. If you are a positive force in people's lives(like you are) you make the world a happier place. A Positive Attitude goes a long way into making life bearable in a sometimes rough place. Keep the great blogs coming dear friend!

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NASFKAB 2/24/2013 11:42AM

  provoking thanks for posting

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SANDRALEET 2/24/2013 7:16AM

    So true Be happy not fake happy People now

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AWESOMECHELZ 2/24/2013 6:46AM

    I like your blog. Thank you for sharing. I also read that whenever we feel down, if we smile even if we don't mean it or feel it, the mind will interpret it as us feeling happy. Interesting, isn't it? Have a great day! emoticon Chelsea

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The Friend I want to be. . . .

Saturday, February 23, 2013



I can remember when I was growing up I would hear my grandparents and Mom Dad longing for the good ole days! I promised that in those days that I would always be up to date and never look back! HA. . . .HA!

Back in the 70's and 80's I used to write poetry and even paint on canvass. It was like the work was fresh and we used elements like sand to make the impressionable art seem pure! I had a problem with poetry though as I loved to write in Iambic pentameter which became an old style. While I could put impressions on canvass, I did not have the same gift with poetry as without the rhyme and rhythum I no longer had any thing to say. Eventually art styles also changed and it seemed that I started to let things slip by as I morphed into a technical grantwriter during the 80's. Sometimes though I now really long for the 'Good Ole Days”!

I have never let my my love of words and thoughts go by the wayside, however. Now my morning routine involves not writing but finding the positive and I look to the words and wisdom of others to say what I feel. It probably goes without saying, I receive a lot of poetry in my morning email. This morning was no exception. One of the websites that I visit routinely is AnitaPoems.com. Here I have always found words that mix with my daily emotions so this morning I clicked on “friendship inspiration”. I was pointed to this link by my many positive friends on Spark People and I was in the “mood” for friendship. I was lucky too as this morning, I found some really good ones on the type of friend that I want to be for you. This blog is my friendship commitment to you.





Perplex

I believe in what you think,
There's no need to see a shrink. 
We're all trying to find our way, 
Don't you worry, it's Okay.
Years ago, they told us to dream,
Nothing wrong, if you wish to scream. 
You always wanted to be a dancer, 
I just don't have the answer.
Your unique mind, I do understand, 
Next to you, here I stand. 
We'll deal with whatever happens next,
Even if it's real perplex.





Strength

Your amazing strength comes from deep inside, 
How you do it, you should write a guide. 
Your words and actions always inspire, 
The way you do it, I truly admire.
When I look at you, I'm very proud, 
Not afraid to proclaim aloud. 
Every challenge that you face, 
You manage it, with so much grace.
This strength of yours often amazes, 
You deserve more than just praises. 
With all you do, I hope you get rest, 
The rest of us, are profoundly blessed.





Together

I support you one hundred percent, 
One-hundred and ten, is what I actually meant. 
I'm here for you, whenever you need, 
Your expectations I hope to exceed.
Tomorrow is something, together we'll deal, 
If pain follows us, together we'll heal. 
The actual process may be quite slow, 
Through this journey, together we'll grow.
In the end, the challenges we face, 
We won't run away, instead we shall chase. 
Whatever happens, I know you will win, 
To the blue sky, point your proud chin.



Thanks for being my friend, my strength and just being there!







  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOLABLACK69 2/26/2013 7:15AM

    Beautiful! emoticon emoticon

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NASFKAB 2/24/2013 5:08AM

  beutiful poem great that managed to meet you thanks for your great blogs

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SNUZSUZ 2/23/2013 5:20PM

    another great blog!

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VTORIA3 2/23/2013 9:58AM

    What a beautiful blog. I especially like, "Strength."

How wonderful it must be to be able to express oneself in poetry or with a paintbrush. My mom was an artist (oil, watercolor), my dad, a musician; my brother wrote poetry and was also a musician. All are now deceased and have left work behind to cherish, in addition to the wonderful memories we all shared.

Life has some wonderful little surprises waiting for us. Connecting with you today, re-awakened my spiritual connection to my loved ones. I was not expecting that, given my attention to my physical self as I recover from the flu. So unexpected, so lovely, so nice. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SANDRALEET 2/23/2013 9:25AM

    We are on a bath all different not the same Put in the end With God we get were we are saved Life is Good then not so Good Troubles and joy Is our life Thank you God That you are there Our faith our love Do not dispare For God is hear

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AWESOMECHELZ 2/23/2013 9:14AM

    How BEAUTIFUL!!! Thank you SO much for sharing. emoticon I hope you still continue to paint as well. That's one hobby I hope to start after I move and I am done with all this stress (plus I will have more money to do it). Thanks again. emoticon Chelsea

P.S. It takes a friend to have a friend so thank you for that too.

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PATRICIA441 2/23/2013 8:56AM

  You are truly amazing my friend. I so look forward to your blogs. They are always uplifting and food for thought! You are the emoticon !!! Pat

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ELRIDDICK 2/23/2013 8:25AM

  Thanks for sharing

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Good Morning!

Friday, February 22, 2013



Good Morning! I am feeling a wee bit like our weather this morning so I am going to share a poem with you that encourages me when I feel like this!



Hello World By:Dan Coppersmith


I'm uniquely spectacular
I am one of a kind
Creativity oozes
From heart and mind


I'm stupendous, tremendous
I stand out from the crowd
I do things
That aren't allowed


I am amazing
Incredible me
Celebrating the being
I choose to be


I'm inspired, desired
I am wondefully wierd
I am unbridled passion
I am highly revered


I'm outrageous, contagious
I am daring and bold
I am honored and cherished
I'm a treasure to hold


I am gifted, uplifted
I am endlessly blessed
I am sought out
For the skills i possess


I'm delightful, insightful
I am loved and adored
I live a charmed life
I'm renewed and restored


I am grateful, elateful
I am centered and wise
I am wealthy and worthy
I am immortal in disguise


I declare my brillance
It won't be denied
The world cries out
For what I provide


I am powerful, masterful
I am focused and clear
Life beams brighter
Because I am here


I'm blazing, amazing
I can't be contained
I'm a glorious, fabulous
Radiant flame


I choose to exude
All this and much more
My wings are spread
Watch me soar!












  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NASFKAB 2/23/2013 8:18AM

  lovely

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BUTEAFULL 2/22/2013 11:55AM

    that brightened my morning too

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AWESOMECHELZ 2/22/2013 8:59AM

    Beautiful! I hope you have a wonderful day no matter what the weather. emoticon Chelsea

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DASHER68 2/22/2013 8:46AM

    That's a great poem! emoticon

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LATTELEE 2/22/2013 8:40AM

  Nice!

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SDJ098 2/22/2013 8:39AM

    Love the poem, im going to share this with my daughter, it is so her.

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DARJR50 2/22/2013 8:27AM

  What a great poem. Thanks for sharing it with us.

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