Monday, February 20, 2012
....go 'round and 'round........aaaaaaaagh! Lol.
It's been a long and exhausting few days. Actually, it's been a long and exhausting month or so. Maybe I need an active holiday soon. :p
So much stuff the last few days, so much uppy-downy; approved for housing mortgage (some disgusting amount, which we will never use lol); starting to prep house to move (by starting, I mean I did a few dishes lol); and the big one, looking at the potential business proposition.
Based on the numbers we see, it does not look like we'll be following through with it. I was surprised by how totally bummed out I got about it. It wasn't just a new job--it was the potential for me to be involved with something I feel passionate about; high-quality pet nutrition, and the ability/opportunity to learn more about it while providing it to my potential customers. If I had a bottomless pit of money (come ON, lottery ticket! lol), I would probably buy it anyway just because I would be so happy to become involved in it; move the store, expand the product line, focus the advertising to some specific areas.....
Thinking about going back to my other job tomorrow just bums me out now. I don't mind my job at all....but it's just a job. And it still carries that constant weight of worrying about being cut, since there are layoffs and restructuring going on left right and center.
Well....at least I've learned a few things. Plus I still have a meeting with finance guy tomorrow morning, so I can pick his brain a little. I suppose there's always a chance something similar to this may come up....sometime.....somewhere....yeahhh....
It did occur to me, however, that maybe, just maybe, I was jumping on this business thing as a way to distract myself from stuff, such as dealing with some family stuff, and....moving. Ugh. Much as I love the looking, don't love the selling! Too much pressure!
I also had a dream last night....I was in the gym, with my kitten! (I had a kitten! squeee!) I was trying to work out, but also very focused on where kitty was, etc., because I didn't want her to get squished or something. It made it hard to focus on working out properly. I didn't mind doing it, but was aware the distraction was affecting my workout. Then someone opened the door and kitty escaped! I had to run down the hall to catch her, slowly walk up to her and coax her to me...and scooped her up to snuggle in my arms.....
.....and woke up to find my cat snuggled firmly up against me, with her head tucked in under my arm, and her paw across my chest.
So I took the dream to mean that maybe I'm taking on too much, and it's distracting me from the things that I should be focusing on. I think.
Worked out Saturday, need to go in again today.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
After I finished my super quick workout at the gym this morning, I realize that I had already achieved my goal of workout 3x/week this week. And it's only Wednesday.
I've also had a somewhat productive day as well, mainly because I was SOOOOO generally annoyed and irritated. Cleaned kitchen, cooked food, went to gym, scheduled meeting with bank.
My eating is still iffy. Made a great turkey/veggie stirfry, then ate everything but. I need to learn to fuel my body at certain times, such as right after a workout, rather than putting it off because I'm trying to run around and get ready for work. Just leads to overeating later, because I apparently REALLY need some kind of food after working out. My body demands it if I don't comply. Funny. :) Not so funny when the only thing in site to eat at work in a chocolate bar...
I'd really like the scale to move back down, but it won't if I keep stuffing face. Must remedy that.
I should start training for my 8k soon. I need wayyyy more than 8 weeks for that 8 week C25K plan...hope the weather cooperates.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
I've really had it quite up to here with my bs.
I did quite well on my eating today. Kept it very light and easy to offset the overeating of the last couple of days.
Then Valentine's happened.
Supper was okay--not the healthiest, but okay and reasonable--about 400 cals.
Those chocolates---9 pieces, 720 cals. Those OTHER chocolates-60 cals per ball, and I had 420 cals worth.
I'm done. Done sabotaging. Done being an idiot. That doesn't mean I'll be 'perfect', or never enjoy A piece of chocolate or meatball or whatever again--but that kind of shiite up there? That's just not okay in my world anymore.
Dam you, Laura Secord and Lindt. Lol.
I've started a ball rolling, and I feel like all this...excess is just interfering. I feel irritated and annoyed right now, and just impatient to shake it off and continue on.
On that note, must get sleep NOW.
PS. The franchise that I've dreamed of running for 3 years has come up for sale--and there's zero chance that I can buy it. Well, okay 1 in 1.43454556 billion chance, if my lottery ticket pays off. Heh. I'm not sure how that makes me feel. Kind of like my true calling is passing me by, or something.
Maybe I'll buy TWO tickets this time. Ha.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Went to the gym Sunday and Monday. Gave myself permission to take this morning off--I'm super sore! :) In a good way. My shoulder is bugging me a bit though, and I don't want to tax it.
It snowed last night! Winter Valentine's Wonderland. Lol.
I took some advice and broke my cleaning up into 15 minute intervals. My kitchen still isn't 'perfect', but I actually have some clean counter space, which makes all the difference. :) I even did my laundry, while pointedly ignoring the overflowing pile of clean laundry that has nowhere to go. Sometimes, ya gotta pick your battles.
I'm still eating too much. Too many things in the fridge to choose from, and I tend to want them all. Note to keep foods down to 2 meal type things at most.
I made a deal with my boss to get to work 5 mins early every day this week. Not sure why I have such trouble with that--if I can consistently come in at 11:01 and 11:02, why can't I make that 10:55 or 10:56. Have to adjust that mental cutoff time in my head. It's all mental--leaving those 5 minutes early seems too.....early! Lol.
My hubby's work hours are concerning me. I've been trying not to think about it, but it's definitely manifesting in other ways. It's been quiet the last few weeks, which would definitely affect our mortgage acquiring ability. I'm avoiding going to the bank to find out the actual numbers, because I think I would be heartbroken if we couldn't qualify for enough to move. Again. Just Hoping that this slump picks up again with spring coming.
Maybe I should just go in with the current work hours and get a quick rough estimate. Get it over with.
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