Saturday, September 29, 2012
I'm trying not to focus on the numbers. I know I need to focus on doing what I need to do. It happens every time, I eat right I exercise and my body will not release the weight. Last week I gained 3#'s due to fluid retention in my legs that I discovered was attributed to my sodium intake. I fixed that and kept trucking. I'm at a loss. Of the 3#'s of fluid I gained, I only lost 1 # of it this week, but whereas the pounds went up the inches came down last week. Now the pounds went down but the inches went up.
I'm honestly struggling right now. Wondering am I going to be defeated again? I had a goal I just wanted to be out of the 280#'s by the time my 20th high school reunion came around. That date is now a week away and at 287....I know that goal is not possible. The failure voices are creeping inside my head. Yet another goal I failed to meet. The good and evil voices in my head are battling. You can do this vs. your going to fail again..because you always do.
I'm not a two faced person. I'm not going to "pretend" everything is good because it is not. I look at my husband who is doing this juice diet and has been since I started SP again. He has lost 20#'s. I eat healthy and exercising my butt off and I've been bouncing between 15#'s ..now only at 13#'s. I try to focus on me because I know what he is doing will not last, and it is not healthy. At the same time, who am I to tell him that, when what he is doing is working. It's not fair. I'm sorry but it is not! I know men lose weight faster than women. I know he is losing because of calorie restriction and he is losing muscle b/c the only protein he gets is in the chia seeds he puts in his juice. I know not to put all my eggs into the basket of the
I KNOW to stay focus on other factors: how I feel, how I look, what I'm accomplishing, where I'm going, how it makes me feel when I make better choices. This week those factors themselves are a struggle. I hit my targets and yet since Wednesday I'm running out of steam, I feel blah, I don't have that WOW factor when I look in the mirror, my confidence is dwindling this week, and I don't know why. I'm struggling to eat enough calories to keep up with my calorie burn but I make sure I hit in the middle. Even if it is just eating a tablespoon of almond butter to get me to that range. I hit my targets, food, excercise, water, fruits and veggies...check check check check. I keep telling myself hang in there, its a plateau, or it is just this or that. I can't help but wonder am I doing something wrong?
So, once again, I'm going to brush myself off. I'm not giving up. I'm not going to veg out. I'm going to keep on pressing, keep moving forward. Because I know if I stop, I'll go back to where I was and the cycle will begin again. I know I must continue on this track I have laid before me, because it is the path to my future, to my goals.
(slow and steady wins the race)
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
This last month I have adopted new healthier eating habits, starting excercising regularly. How has my body changed when the scale has had it's less friendly days?
1.) I'm working out regulary and I am determined to walk further or walk quicker than the day before.
2.) I make time for me! I make time to eat healthy foods, I make time for me to excercise, I make time to do SP everyday. I have daily goals, track, track and track! Track my food, track my excercise, track my fruit/veggies and water.
3.) I feel empowered that I'm making a difference with my body, even on days that the scale doesn't say so. I know I'm eating healthier and my body is getting stronger b/c of the hard work and sacrifices I'm making daily.
Bad (Yes there are some):
1.) I'm tired!!!! By the evening, I'm exhausted and would LOVE to go to bed at 7:00 but I have a family to take care of. In order to have my me time around my family, I have to stay up late to finish up my SP tracking! By the time, my family goes to bed and I clean house and track SP, I'm heading for bed at 11:00pm or later! UGH! I have logged during the day my breakfast and lunch but I don't get around to doing spark coach and logging dinner until night time after everyone has gone to bed.
This is to remind myself. Think of how far you have come? From getting out of breath just talking to people to now you are walking 2 miles almost everyday!! One step at a time you are getting stronger! Your clothes are feeling better and look better on your body. Your nails are growing stronger and faster! Overall you have more energy. You long to go walking on days you plan to rest! You are awesome!!! Now keep pushing!!! You can do this! One step at a time!
Friday, September 21, 2012
I have only lost 15 #'s but I feel amazing. For the first time ever, I'm drinking water regularly. My fitness and water goals daily are met. I do not go to bed until I meet them. I guess maybe I have a little OCD when it comes to these goals because I struggle with them so many times. I can't let theses goals go unmet/unfinished any one day.
Yesterday, I got my first compliment. God must have known I needed it because I've been so down b/c my legs are swelling with fluid. I'm not sure why, but it has happened before and I was diagnosed with serum sickness due to antiobiotics I was taking. I gained 20#'s of fluid in about 5 days time. It took MONTHS for that weight to go away. So when my legs started swelling my fear set it. I immediately drew myself to spark coach only to find lesson on the little things we can focus on when the scale isn't our friend. Well after my compliment I got a pep in my step. Then the high school reunion dress I ordered came in and i put it on and looked at myself and said OH WOW!!!
I had fears of this dress looking horrific on my fat ladden body but when I put it on.....all the sweat and hard work, revealed a slightly more slender body and my booty is smaller too!! Then today I'm getting dressed and my shirt feels a little bigger but my pants don't, but when I looked in the mriror I say myself and so OH WOW!!! My belly isn't as big either!!!
Then when I changed clothes this evening to head to a class I teach at my church I looked in the mirror and said OH WOW!!! My 'muffin' top is so much smaller!!!! The scale isn't moving, as a matter of fact tomorrow morning is weigh day and I'm sure my weight will go up b/c of the fluid collecting in my legs....but it is ok because I'M AMAZING!!! I feel amazing, I'm looking amazing, and I'm going to keep on pushing!!
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