Sunday, August 16, 2009
I feel like a cow...I have been doing really good with my workouts lately, eating right most days...and right now I am at my max around 1506 calories and I am still hungry! I ate good, had salad, fresh fruit, lots of water, low calorie proteins, and not to mention I got my bike fixed today and biked about 8 miles! I still had energy to spare!!! I wasn't even that tired at the end...winded but not exhausted...my husband on the other hand was pooped! I kicked his butt! I am so fighting opening the fridge right now and just diving head first with my spoon into the tub of lowfat yogurt..and while it may be a good choice, it'll plunge me over the edge of my calories!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so angry...I know I need to eat but I can't! This is what it has come too...pushing my body to the limit, raising my metabolism and being forced to not eat just because I am at my maximum....why does it feel like I am being punished? I did good...and yet my body isn't satisfied! Going to have a diet mountain dew to get some flavor and hopefully satisfy this MAJOR hunger pang!!!!!!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Well today was really exciting for me and heartbreaking at the same time. I took my beloved miniature schnauzer named Major into the vet clinic today to have cataract surgery. He is blind from his cataracts which are a result of his diabetes. Talk about an expensive dog! Between his insulin, syringes, special food, frequent blood glucose tests, vet visits...he is worth a fortune! He has definitely worn a HUGE hole in my pocket, but also worn an equally deeper hole in my heart! I love him!
I am sitting here writing this as he is just starting his surgery right now, PRAYING he'll pull through just fine and hopefully see! I have ALOT of money riding on this! I pray he'll be able to see and have his quality of life returned! I don't get to pick him up till tomorrow, but I do get to visit him during visiting hours from 6-7pm. You bet I'll be there and praying he SEES ME!
Please if you have children, or pets, please say a prayer for my dog, Major. He is one of the most spunky, full of zest type dogs I've ever seen, and he deserves this! Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers that I don't go nuts today...I suppose I'll do some deep cleaning and prep this weeks meals to get my mind off of it! THANKS!
Major and my hubby. Can you tell he is hamming it up? He is such a soft hearted sweetheart! He's Momma's little officer! That is how he got his name Major, because he reminds us of a military officer...IN CHARGE! He trots around like he owns the joint!
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
There is a frightening thought that crosses my mind, I I picture myself at my husbands retirement ceremony for the Air Force and I have several children most of which are grown and out of the house, and I see the Honor Guard perform their ceremony for him. I also hear the speechs and commerative lectures numerous colleagues have given him, some big shot commander talks about his special decorations and awards. They relive his career from the day he started basic training, and while I am very happy...I wonder...
What could I HAVE DONE WITH MYSELF? Could I be standing there receiving all the praise that is due me? Could I be standing there with 20 years or more experience in the military???? Could I be standing there full of fulfillment from my accomplishments?
COULD I HAVE MADE SOMETHING OF MYSELF? No, I played life safe, I never pursued a career full force, I never made it a point to go after my dreams with pin-point accuracy! And what do I have to show for it....nothing except the echo of my HUSBANDS career...the echo of a dream that never ... EVER WAS REALIZED!
For the past two years I've wanted to be in the military, but the weight has kept me out, and I had some wrong information...so ...
forget the rules,....forget my fears of what the military might entail...forget playing it safe...I AM PLUNGING INTO THIS FULL FORCE! AND IF IT BE NOT FOR ME...I PRAY THE LORD WILL KEEP ME FROM IT! AND TAKE AWAY THIS DESIRE TO SERVE!
A Hopeful Future Air Force Trainee
10/4 Over And Out
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