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SKINNYINMYHEAD's Recent Blog Entries

Eat the Rainbow... or Breakfast Bounty!

Saturday, May 18, 2013

I've joined up with the Biggest Loser Competition 22 .. (this is my first one).. and one of the challenges this weekend is to "eat the rainbow"... a serving of each color of freggie.. now THIS is my kind of weekend challenge!

So, I went to the Farmers Market this morning... (I'd been up since 5am!!)... when I arrived I smiled because the HULA HOOPERS were there! They were raising awareness for the Oklahoma Nutrition Information and Education..


And I joined in.. I am NOT a good hooper.. but I can pull a 10-15 second waist hoop. LOL.. I have big dreams.. but it was fun and spontaneous.. and I got in about 10 minutes of unexpected unplanned activity! WOOT.

I did my shopping and chatted with the vendors.. such a nice group of people.. and I came away with this bounty


Scrumptious! Red Tomatoes.. fresh-organic-just-picked-this-morning lettuce and spinach.. radishes... asparagus... red bell pepper.. orange bell pepper.. summer squash.. zucchini.. green/purple onions.. mmm I was salivating!

So, I got home and made myself a humongous salad for BREAKFAST!!!... lettuce, spinach, tomato, orange bell pepper, radish, purple onion, blueberries, boiled egg and some chicken breast.. topped with homemade blueberry vinaigrette. SCRUMPTIOUS



What about you? You gonna eat the rainbow this weekend?? or look for those opportunities to get in some unplanned, spontaneous fitness!

Life is good.. no, GREAT!

90 days til Africa
22lbs to my ZipLine Goal

Annie

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BROCOLIJOLI 5/21/2013 4:46PM

    That looks delicious!

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DISCIPLINE_DOES 5/20/2013 10:41AM

    Which farmer's market do you go to? I've been wanting to try one out. The main one I know about is OSU-OKC, but I've never been there. Maybe we could have a shopping day sometime??? You can teach me everything you know! ;)
Also, I keep meaning to ask you what fitness media you use. FitBit, etc. I may have asked you this before, but welcome to night shift brain. :)

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JUNEAU2010 5/19/2013 11:03AM

    Sounds absolutely yummy! I've enjoyed having similar salads during my Paleo jaunt!

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SCOOTER4263 5/19/2013 8:29AM

    I *wondered* how you were going to work the blue part in there - didn't think of blueberries!

No surprised you wanted a salad for breakfast - after a trip to the farmer's market and that bounty, how could you resist it?

I have plenty of planned, non-spontaneous fitness today (still working on that wheelchair path) but I'll definitely take up the challenge to "eat the rainbow"! Thanks!

Agreed: life IS great!!

Comment edited on: 5/19/2013 8:31:07 AM

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VLINDER2013 5/18/2013 8:53PM

    OKay that is just friggin Beautiful .. compared to the junk I used to put in my mouth.. that looks way better .. I am so glad you got to work out with the HULA HOOPERS !! I just bought one and well I still have to get that thing to twist right lol but I am working on it ..

enjoy the colors of the rainbow my friend.. emoticon

BTW you are so Rocking it... OR hooping it .. or twisting it.. you are doing IT !!

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WOUBBIE 5/18/2013 6:24PM

    Whoa!!! When did I miss 7 more pounds evaporating into the twisting nether?!?!? Woohoo!

Delicious looking rainbow!

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DAKOTASMOMMY_07 5/18/2013 2:45PM

    emoticon Annie this is amazing!!! You have had quite a morning, thank you so much for sharing.
Sure looks YUMMY emoticon
God Bless~Christina

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SCAPP3LL3 5/18/2013 2:44PM

    Wow, that looks yummy! I've never eaten the rainbow before, but it sounds like a great challenge. I'll try it too.

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MISSG180 5/18/2013 2:44PM

    Beautiful! I was out in the country today and hoping the farm stands would be open, but alas, there was no one there yet. I'm jealous!

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MLH148 5/18/2013 1:44PM

    had tuna salad with green avacado, white onion, orange pepper, red tomato -- that's 4. Had a banana for breakfast, too. :)
Sounds like a great start to your weekend!

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SUGAR0814 5/18/2013 12:29PM

    That salad is definitely representing the rainbow! Looks good! emoticon

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A Milestone, A Meltdown and Mojo

Thursday, May 16, 2013

I love mornings like this... I get up.. do my bidness.. walk over to the scale and weigh-in... (you can find why I weigh daily here www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=5354140
)... then I showered, got dressed and checked my email to find this!



WOOT WOOT.. I just love it! I crank up the music and do a little dancing to celebrate.. and lest you think I can dance.. I cannot.. but I love moving to the music (and my dogs don't seem to mind). HA.

I am just loving this.. I'm feeling so much better about myself.. gettin' my swagger back.. but I am not bulletproof.. and I was reminded of that fact yesterday..

It started with me seeing a picture of myself.. ugh.. and it reminded me that although I have lost 45lbs.. and only have 29lbs to lose in the next 93 days to meet my zipline goal... I have another 60 or 70lbs to go after I get back.. when I started this journey I needed to lose about 130-150lbs (depending on my final goal weight which I just can't say right now but will probably be around 190lbs, I'm 5'11") The journey just seems soooooo long.. I can't see the end... nor, honestly, imagine it..

I let the negativity creep in... seep into the marrow of my bones.. and I noticed my energy level drop.. and I started thinking of all I cannot do.. all the time I've lost in my life to being overweight.. all the limitations (both real and perceived) and I am profoundly sad... I knew I had a workout scheduled and just getting in the car was so hard.. I didn't want to workout.. and I replayed how ungracefully I do all the moves.. how I struggle.. how I stand out because of my size.. because of how slooooow I do everything.. oh yeah, the negativity just swirls..

This is what happened yesterday.. lt felt like every fiber in my being did NOT want to workout.. I knew.. deep in my core.. that if I skipped that workout because of how I felt that it would spiral into eating a bag of oreos with a side of pringles...

I
Will
Not
Go
There

I.Will.Not.

I can't.

And so I went to my workout telling myself that showing up is good enough.. and I'll just give it 50% effort.. uh huh.. yeah.. not with my Coach.. but you know what? Once I was there.. and I got started.. I lost myself in the moment.. in the effort.. my heart raced.. I gasped for breath.. but with each swing of the kettlebell.. or each minute spent rowing.. every squat.. my confidence grew.. and grew.. and by the end of the workout my mojo was back!

Diets are good. Eating plans are necessary and I'm quite aware that you can't out train a bad diet.. but they can't give you the high that a good workout can.. diets don't give me a sense of pride in my accomplishment.. but working out (whatever your choice of workout) sure can.

My workout of choice is CrossFit... it constantly makes me uncomfortable.. which, I'm not lyin', is difficult.. dern difficult.. I'm reading a book right now called "inside the Box: How CrossFit Shredded the Rules, Stripped Down the Gym and Rebuilt my Body" .. this quote from the book kinda sums it up for me..

"It's about personal accountability and driving for goals that are meaningless to everyone but you. It’s not about awards or external recognition. It’s about personal satisfaction.[CrossFitters have] developed an enhanced capacity to suck it up and deal with high levels of discomfort on a consistent basis.. "

For me, it's the epitome of "me against me"... MY best.. based 100% on MY effort.. and watching the improvements come..

-like my increased stamina
-increased strength
-ability to work harder and longer
-improved technique
-learning new things like squats, back squats, front squats, kettlebell, around the worlds, figure eights, rowing, the prowler, the sled, ring rows, the airdyne, thrusters, dead lifts, on and on ..

It is the big, huge positive in my life right now... and when I leave the box, I feel like I am unstoppable.. I am learning mental toughness... and hard times will come.. and just like in my workout, I'm going to need to push through a bit of discomfort to experience that euphoria. I can do that... I prove it multiple times a workout when I want to quit but don't.. I know that the only limits on me are the ones I've placed there..

So, I sign off today with a picture that my niece took of me this evening with my grand-niece.. do I looooove the picture? No, but it's where I am right now.. and I KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will meet my goals.. and I'll be showin' my swagger.. and rockin' my mojo the entire time.. mmm hmmmmm

281lbs..


And here's my workout info from tonight..



93 Days til Africa
29lbs to go to meet the Zipline Goal

Annie


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DISCIPLINE_DOES 5/20/2013 10:26AM

    Annie, thank you for this post!!!

Just this week a friend of mine who is a body builder, gorgeous god-like hunk of a young man, posted on fb that he's offering discounted summer rates for personal training programs. I contacted him about it, and it looks as if it's going to happen. But I'm having to constantly fight all the negativity in my head about how embarrassing it's going to be, how disgusting and ridiculous I'm going to look while I work out in front of him, will he have to measure all my fat and see the bits of me that I don't want seen by anyone - especially a guy who is surrounded constantly by gorgeous body-building women?
This blog was just the reminder that I needed, that it doesn't matter. Just DOING IT is what matters. Showing up to sessions with him and giving it the best that I possibly can, even though it's nowhere near what he or his friends can do. I know I will improve, and that's my goal. To move forward, no matter how slowly.
Anyway, thanks again, and you are doing such an AMAZING job!!!!! So proud of you!!!

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MARIANNE9855 5/19/2013 10:07AM

    Just the message I needed- I so struggle starting exercise- when I'm done - I am so happy- after all unless you are hurt no one ever feels better that they didn't work out- thanks for the kickstart! and I think you look very pretty- 5'11" that's amazing- you will be able to pull off all kinds of looks- I am only 5'3' and its pretty easy to look like a butterball- lol! emoticon

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MOM2BB 5/19/2013 8:48AM

    All you've done and all you can do--amazing! Love how you turned the negative around. Keep up the good work. With drive and determination like that you'll exceed your wildest dreams.
emoticon

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STONECOT 5/19/2013 4:56AM

    Every time I go to the gym, I bribe myself with the thought that I won't put my all into it. I'll just do 10 lengths in the pool, I won't give 100% in my class! Then when I get there that dogged streak and competitive edge kick in, and I'm doing my 30+ lengths, and jigging up and down till I'm hot and sweaty! emoticon It works every time. My fitbit congratulated me on a 5lbs loss! (I only got it recently) and I was thrilled with that, 45lbs is awesome!

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MARMAERT 5/18/2013 10:53PM

  you are impressive! that mental shake-down you gave yourself is exactly what each of us needs to do each day. we feel that others are better, work out harder, longer, always eat right and do all the right things, but not us! we screw up, eat wrong things, get down on ourselves, when all along, we just need to make the Nike thing happen: JUST DO IT! you do that all the time. I will be saving this blog entry to remind myself that I can do it too! I, too have 60 pounds to lose still and wish the next weight loss would happen as fast as the last few months did. remember, 1 pound at a time. (however, you did 8 pounds on the 5% challenge, so you are way ahead!) emoticon

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VLINDER2013 5/18/2013 8:59PM

    Youre so awesome. This is so Awesome.. I applaud you for working out and working thru the moments.. YOu are an inspiration to me ..

And you are right when we don't feel like working out.. and we do ..it turns out to be the best thing for us..It helps our mood change..

We are each our own toughest judge.. way to put her in her place and do what you needed to do ...!!!

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ANGELN325 5/17/2013 10:05PM

    I'm so glad you were able to recover. I get the whole journey is long, but you've come so far! I did that...got down to about 20 lbs of goal, let myself get discouraged and now I'm starting over! Ugh! I don't ever want to make that mistake again. We are worth it and who cares what other people think. You are lapping everyone sitting on the couch. ;)

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ANNMACP0212 5/17/2013 7:51PM

    I soooo loved this. It is just what I needed. I have been half committed to changing me. But when I read stories like this, I realize, there is no half way. Thank you for being a fantastic inspiration...And wishing you all the best as you work to reach your next goal. emoticon

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SUGAR0814 5/17/2013 5:27PM

    Love your attitude "and only have 29lbs to lose in the next 93 days to meet my zipline goal." If I can get my mind to say ONLY HAVE ___ pounds to lose, I would be unstoppable. ONLY being the key word. It's ONLY 50 lbs, no problem! I need to lose ONLY 70lbs, no problem.

Love the picture! Too cute! emoticon emoticon

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JUNEAU2010 5/17/2013 4:42PM

    Inspirational as always!

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RAYRUNSMT 5/17/2013 8:43AM

    You are so smart to observe your thinking and to go workout, just to get started. It's corny to say, but I try to remind myself to love myself no matter my weight or size, love the journey and that tastes better than any food.

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AWOLF24 5/16/2013 1:14PM

    emoticon emoticon

I might have to check out that book!

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WOUBBIE 5/16/2013 1:04PM

    Check out this quote I just read today:

"You can't change your emotions, you can only change your behavior."

Totally fits with what you did!

And that picture is SUPERB!! Little Miss Spunky is adorable!

And the little girl is pretty adorable too!

emoticon

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CRUISEBOUND2013 5/16/2013 12:30PM

    You are a true inspiration! Thank you for sharing and emoticon on your loss of 45 pounds lost forever! emoticon

You can reach all of your goals . . . Just BELIEVE in yourself!

emoticon emoticon

emoticon

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HEALTHYGRAMMY49 5/16/2013 11:16AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
emoticon emoticon
BTW, I LOVE your pic! Really!!! Stop being so hard on yourself...You are a BEAUTIFUL woman! REALLY!!!

Comment edited on: 5/16/2013 11:21:41 AM

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GETSTRONGRRR 5/16/2013 7:54AM

    You've got exactly the right attitude! So much abut this is abut the process of change, especially how we fight and struggle through demanding physical challenges. That's what I like about tough workouts....they are so much more about mental discipline than physical prowess.

You're doing great! It might seem like it takes an eternity and that progress is slow, but what else have we got to do with our lives that's better than this!

Good luck....stay strong!

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PONYFARMER 5/16/2013 1:50AM

    Look at you rock the workout world. I am so in awe of you. BTW, adorable grandniece, she is a keeper.

I get the neggies myself, I am my own worst enemy. But right now for me a great workout is getting the crutches out, letting the dog get her ears up at the thought of a walk and off we go. Top mins 30 and it is at a crawl, but for 20 days post op on a new knee, that is ok. At least I am moving. The moving has helped with my mood, along with spending time with God.

You are so going to do this. I wish I could go to Africa with you and do the zipline too, but no matter what, you have a plan and you are making it work. Wow, 45 pounds lost, not much more to go.

Cheering you all the way to the goal friend.

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SCAPP3LL3 5/16/2013 1:31AM

    Good for you that you beat back the negative thought demons and went!

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SCOOTER4263 5/16/2013 1:10AM

    You're doing really, really well. The numbers show it, but most of all you show it in your attitude. You didn't feel like working out, but you did it anyway. The other day, you didn't want to get out of the car, let alone do the bike race, but you did it anyway.

I'll bet the zipline goal looked pretty far away in the beginning, but you're almost there. The rest, when you get back from Africa (!) will be just as attainable.

The most important thing is that you're learning that you can overcome "you", that voice in your head that suggests blowing off the workout and having a bag of Oreos. You are going to be even more amazing when you hit your goal weight (and you *will* get there) - one of my daughters is 5'11" and what wouldn't I give to be up there with you!

But for right now, you're pretty darned amazing just where you are. emoticon

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The Power of a Buddy... and a new PR!

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

I have a friend IRL (in real life) that has lost about 70lbs and she is amazing! She's beautiful and so petite! I struggled and struggled to find my weight loss mojo while she was losing but never did.. but it was so encouraging to me to see that she was doing it.. ya know?.. We even went to Las Vegas and she stuck to her eating plan 100%.. AND while I was at the tables gambling she ran upstairs to work out! Seriously?? In Vegas?? She had such FOCUS.. really.. quite amazing..

And now, when I've found what works for me... found my groove.. she's my biggest cheerleader.. always encouraging me.. and best of all we're "workout buddies" even though we've never worked out together.. and the type of workout we enjoy is completely different.. but I have such respect for her huge efforts on endurance and going from walking to RUNNING for 40 minutes with a sustained heart rate in the 180s.. seriously?? she's a freaking machine! And she cheers me on in my "anvil throwing and boulder lifting" LOL... I've tried to explain to her how much it means to have someone in my corner who 1) knows what the journey is like and 2) has been completely 110% successful.. she inspires me at every turn.. and her support makes me more powerful and, I believe, increases my ability to succeed..

So, I've tried and tried to explain CrossFit to folks at work and it's very difficult to convey what the workouts are like.. so.. I've started inviting folks to come and experience a workout with me.. tonight, my friend Sarah came.. and my coach gave us a very fun partner workout... we both did a 500m rowing warmup.. and then AS A TEAM we had to do 100 kettlebell swings, 10 banded runs x50ft and 75 sit-ups for time... the catch is we could only workout one at a time and while one was working doing the kettlebell swings, the other partner was doing lunges... while we were doing situps, the partner was doing ball slams.. there was no rest! Having a partner working out with me really did push me more... and I achieved a new PR with my heart rate - 161!!... and I got to see this little guy jumping on my phone when I completed the workout...




So, find a buddy.. someone that can cheer you on with sincerity.. someone who can remind you of your successes when you've forgotten... someone to tell you "you'll be better next time" or "you got this"... or maybe "suck it up buttercup" LOL... cuz those cheerleaders in our lives are so important.. they make us accountable.. You know how you find YOUR cheerleader?? You become the cheerleader of others... so, don't be just a taker... give it up for those around you that are working hard to achieve a goal! You may never know what a difference those few words can make in someones life... and you just can't feel bad when you're cheering on someone else, it's impossible!

94 days to go til Africa
29lbs til my ZipLine goal!

Annie

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AWOLF24 5/16/2013 1:12PM

    That is so awesome to hear about! Great blog!

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CORNERKICK 5/16/2013 1:11AM

  emoticon

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PAMDAQTPI 5/15/2013 10:50AM

    You're right about having a friend who's been there, done that. For me, my spark friends/teammates are those workout buddies. They've kept me from injury and always have great advice. Keep working at it and you may find you crave a workout while on vacation. Endorphins are awesome.

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NELLJONES 5/15/2013 9:55AM

    A buddy is a great source of support.

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LIVESTRONG2010 5/15/2013 9:10AM

    I know what you mean about the workout buddy. SFlores216 I meet through Sparks and she has by far been one of the best things to come from this site! Also my SA Sparks Team as been amazing as well and I even have a new riding buddy from our group as well! You are rocking lady!

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SUEAZZI 5/15/2013 9:05AM

    The buddy system works! emoticon
Congrats on your new PR!! emoticon

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SUGIRL06 5/15/2013 9:00AM

    emoticon

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SCAPP3LL3 5/15/2013 1:23AM

    Great blog! And I LOVE the guy jumping up and down on your phone!

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WOUBBIE 5/14/2013 11:57PM

    emoticon

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SUGAR0814 5/14/2013 11:53PM

    Great job on your PR! emoticon

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TRIXIETEXAS 5/14/2013 11:40PM

    I love reading your blogs...proud of you!

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COLUMBINE2 5/14/2013 11:15PM

    Your blog is ....motivating & scary! I do everything alone! A buddy seems like soooo much pressure and lack of independence for me (if I want to hike longer or faster or whatever, I'm stuck with this person or worse...maybe I can't keep up with them!). But your experience sends a totally different message.

Thanks for the insight & sharing your firsthand experience! It's certainly working for you!


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GETSTRONGRRR 5/14/2013 11:05PM

    I'm with you....there's an intensity with crowds, whether it's one person or a few, that helps push us beyond our limits

Congrats on having a real good partner/friend!

Stay Strong!

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JUNEAU2010 5/14/2013 10:56PM

    So happy you have a buddy!

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Why Weighing Everyday Works for Me...

Sunday, May 12, 2013

I've read a lot of discussions about when to weigh... weekly.. monthly.. not at all.. all of it surrounded by "the power of the scale"... And all of those are good ways to avoid letting the scale rule your life... But I would like to add one more and that is to weigh EVERY day.

I used to get so mad (or happy or sad) when I would be expecting to lose weight because I had eaten well and exercises only to gain weight! ARGH.. or I have been very HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY when I did NOT eat well or exercise and expected to gain weight and actually LOST! It definitely goes both ways... I considered shunning the scale.. but it just didn't set well with me.. it felt like I was giving the scale too much power over me mentally.. like I wasn't strong enough to read a freaking number and not let it ruin my day.

So, I set out to CONQUER the scale and its power over me.. I was pretty tired of the ups and downs but, for me, I realized that I just didn't understand why! (This lack of understanding just added to the mystery and power of the blooming scale numbers!) I love data.. all data.. and I decided to approach the scale as just another data point in all my data points (measurements, clothes size, fitness points, calories, carbs, fat, protein, etc.).. it really is just a number and I'd heard that a million times but in order for me to REALLY mean it.. I had to desensitize myself to the scale.. which meant weighing in everyday... every morning I get out of bed.. go do my bidness in the bathroom.. and weigh. At first, it was a little anxiety inducing but by about the 7th day, I was like "mmmm interesting".

I logged everything I ate .. down to the morsel.. and I logged all my activity including weight training and steps.. I did a lot of referring back and forth at first, trying to figure out the secrets.. by about day 15 or so... it was just data.. period.. and I became enamoured a bit with the "over/under" game.. how many days did I stay the same vs how many days did I lose?... My longest run for losing was 10 days.. 10 days in a row I lost weight.. but I wasn't screaming to anyone I LOST WEIGHT 10 DAYS IN A ROW.. because, well.. it was just one data point and I wasn't seeing other data points like clothing size moving.. and I knew I would have runs of weight gain.. but in the end .. the goal was to have more dots below 0 than above 0

Below is my graph of my 63 days of weight tracking... the red line is ZERO which means I had no change in my weight for that day.. the dots above the red line indicate I gained weight from the previous day and the dots below indicate I lost weight from the previous day..



I had 25 days where I stayed the same or gained.. and 38 where I lost. There were some quite dramatic gains.. and losses.. but it just didn't hold the emotional punch that it used to .. because I had successfully turned it into data.. what is most important is 1) the trend 2) how my clothes are fitting (interestingly when I have runs above the line my clothes seem to get looser, go figure) 3) how are my workouts going and 4) how's my mental game!

You see, I believe the number really doesn't tell you much.. nor does a clothing size.. this picture has been all over Pinterest and I just had to share here because I find it so interesting. All of these women weigh 150lbs.. and their sizes range from a 2 to 18.. If this doesn't convince you that it's the composition of your body and not the number on the scale I do not know what will.



I am doing a ton of weight training.. which I adore.. so I'm adding muscle and subtracting fat.. no wonder the data points are all caddywompus... hehe.. but I don't fear the dang thing.. I just hop on.. plot it on the graph.. and move on to the important things like what I'm putting in my mouth, moving my body in new and different ways and keeping my mental game sharp!

So, if you're a weekly weigher or a monthly weight or even a never weigher.. It's all good! I just wanted to share what allowed me to conquer the scale and turn it into just another tool that will see me through to reach my goal.. that's it.

96 days til Africa
30lbs to go to meet my ZipLine goal

Annie

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSMO157 5/13/2013 7:00AM

  Absolutely agree! I weigh daily as well... and then get all geeked out about my graphs and trends. You're doing a great job! Can't wait to read about your zip lining adventure!

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SUGAR0814 5/13/2013 12:47AM

    I weigh myself daily too. I want to know what's working or not working. I know weigh changes for different reasons, so I don't get my panties in too much of a wad when I have a gain. I just modify my intake & increase my workouts. emoticon

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NEWKATHYNOW 5/12/2013 11:05PM

    Such a great idea! Now I can have a different outlook on my number collecting. I do better when I weigh more often. I can catch things before they get out of hand.
Thanks for posting the 150# photo. Really makes you think!

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TWNOMWE 5/12/2013 8:55PM

    Looking at the scale as another tool at your disposal in the life journey is great and that is what it should be, it should not rule our lives. after all we control what we put in our mouth as well what activity to do. If we concentrate on those positive actions, what number shows on the scale will be be depressing. Build those musles emoticon emoticon

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GETSTRONGRRR 5/12/2013 6:55PM

    I'm with you....I weigh myself every morning, mostly to catch any trend lines early. I'm also a data hound and like to measure & record all sorts of data; HR, distance, speed, calories, etc.

Sounds like you have a good program...I added you as a friend!

Keep at it & stay strong!

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VLINDER2013 5/12/2013 6:09PM

    You and your data are so inspiring.. You are doing such wonderful , inspirational things.. I'm so glad to be your emoticon ...

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GAILRUU 5/12/2013 5:31PM

    I weigh every day or else I tend to delude myself into thinking I am not going to gain!

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JUNEAU2010 5/12/2013 5:07PM

    Very enlightening!

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AEGISHOT 5/12/2013 4:07PM

    emoticon

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KIMQUILTS55 5/12/2013 4:00PM

    I like daily weighing to......but I like your approach to it much better and you are so right...that picture from pintrest speaks volumes!

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Fear and Doing it Anyway (pictures)

Sunday, May 12, 2013

I wrote a blog on 4/7/13 just a little over a month ago about history not having to repeat itself if you plan... ( www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=5314769
)... it was about finally completing a bike ride that I had attempted before but never even got out of the car!

Well, I'm trying to do one organized bike ride a month... and I had my plan in place.. I was going to do the same thing I did in April, ask my niece to go with me.. I decided to do the Tour de Dale (primarily because it was a fundraiser for the highschool band).. and it is a small ride (about 100 riders).. .and it's rural (which I enjoy)... all of this sounded good.

My niece who went with me on the Redbud (my successful ride in April) was supposed to come with me... I'd paid her registration.. talked to her several times.. she seemed excited.. said she'd be over the night before the race to spend the night like she did last time.. talked to her at 5pm that evening.. all is a go.. but she never showed.. (she's 23).. no call.. no text.. nada.

So, when I got up Saturday morning I was irritated.. irritated not because she decided to bail (it happens) but because she didn't communicate that to me! ARGH.. so I was not in the best place mentally.. but I put the bike carrier on the car, loaded up the bike.. had a good breakfast.. drank a ton of water.. and was off to Dale Oklahoma (about a 50 minute drive from where I live).

I arrived very early and there was only 1 other rider there. I had preregistered and picked up both mine and my nieces t-shirts.. and drank some more water while I sat in the car... there ended up being about 100 riders and by 8am there was a lot of activity.. and the more lycra I saw the more I was filled with trepidation.. there's wasn't a lot of noise or talking.. that combined with the lycra made it feel very serious.. very..

and I began to let my insecurities grow... "I don't belong here".. "I'm the fattest one here"... "There's no way I can keep up"... "what if I get lost"...

and then I began to bargain.. "I can always just go to the lake and ride my miles there.. it's not like it matters where I ride"... or "I'll just hurry back to my Box (gym) and workout there because that's what's important, just to get my burn on"... or "no one has to know I didn't do it".. you get the picture..

I decided to just post a status on Sparkpeople... that I was struggling.. and that was when the tide turned

And a big SHOUT OUT to SCOOTER4263!! Thank you so much for your encouragement!

And so I set the timer on my phone for 1 minute and breathed slowly and deeply for that minute.. and planned... planned how I would simply GET OUT OF THE FREAKING CAR.. and here was my plan.. I will just get out and do 3 very simple things 1) unload my bike 2) go to the bathroom and 3) ask one of the organizers about how the route is marked (since this seemed to be giving me some real heartburn... and I did..

I unloaded my bike and the man next to my car was unloading his.. and he started up a conversation.. he ended up being a Policeman from a nearby community and was there because his daughter was in the band.. he was so nice.. and although he was very fit (clearly, he's a cop).. he admitted that he was a bit nervous because he'd never riden in an organized ride and had to borrow his bike from a friend.. my anxiety decreased by 1/2!!

Step 2... I went to the bathroom... and overheard a couple of women talking about how nervous they were.. "but what if i can't finish".. and these women were FIT and in lycra but they too had done the Redbud the month before but one of them hadn't been able to finish that race ... my anxiety decreased by 2/3!!

Step 3.. I spoke to one of the staff about how the course was marked.. he was sooooo nice.. and really made me feel comfortable.. so I was SET! and I updated my status


I started looking at everything a bit differently.. loved this guys shirt


Here's the starting of the 50 milers


I enjoyed the rural setting.. and thought these little miniature donkeys were soooo cute!


I knew from researching the course that the first 6 miles were pretty hilly with a HUGE hill at mile 6.. after that it was all good.. and that held true.. little rolling hills... (except not so little when you're pushing 285lbs up it! HA)


Most of the roads were two lanes.. but for a few miles we were on a 4 lane highway (which I actually liked better because there was more room for people to pass.. we have LOTS of big trucks here in Oklahoma).. but THIS was the monster hill... yes, the downhill portion was fun and I got up to 24mph.. but the uphill?? KILLED...


Gratefully, just past the hill was the refreshment station... and the SAG wagon.. but I wasn't tempted.. I drank a couple of bottles of water and visited with the band members.. and was on my way..


Here's where the problem began... I was totally looking forward to the back six because most of the big hills were over.. however, right about the time we go back to two lanes with no shoulder AND curves (which means cars won't give you much room because they don't know what's around the curve)...


My left foot starts to cramp.. the cramp moves my to my calf and I literally ran off the road and threw the bike down and started hobbling around like a fool.. OUCH.. I walked for a few minutes.. got back on the bike.. almost immediately my foot started cramping.. when it started moving up to my calf I bailed again.. had to do this 3 times.. ugh.. there was no room to walk on the road without getting hit by a car.. so i walked up and down some railroad tracks trying to work it out..


But I finished.. 12.5 miles.. took me 1 hour and 13 minutes... and I averaged 10.3mph... this is me after the race.. can you see the pain in my face?


So I had some of this..


I had to pull the CAR over twice on the way home to walk out cramps... then stopped at the healthfood store and got some electrolyte replacements.. and another 64oz of water.. LOL

But I did it and I have the T-shirt to prove it!


I felt the fear... and I pushed through it.. and I did it.. this just builds up my confidence for the next time... I really can do this.. on my own.. well, with a little help from my friends (thanks again Scooter4263!!)

97 Days til Africa
30lbs to go to Zip Line Goal

Annie

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ZEECHA 5/13/2013 8:18AM

    It's amazing what happens when you take that first step: once you got out of the car, your magic started to happen.

WAY TO GO!!!

You don't look in pain in that picture. You look like you did it!

Great post, thanks for sharing.

PS--You should think about doing RAGBRAI--I think you would enjoy it (that is the Register's Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa--it goes from river to river (Missouri to Mississippi, riders dip a wheel in each river....) Just a thought! :)

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MAYA_ANGEL 5/12/2013 4:27PM

    18 Stars!!!!!!******************
Yo
u are fantastic....this is how to grab life!!! Wait to go! And thanks for the story and pictures, I really loved reading it! You GO!

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AEGISHOT 5/12/2013 4:10PM

    emoticon

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MOTHEPRO 5/12/2013 11:21AM

  emoticon I'm going to remember this. I signed up for my first 5K in June and I'm a little nervous already. I have a feeling I'm going to need the same pep talk to get out of the car. It's nice to know that others feel the same way.

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MYLADY4 5/12/2013 11:13AM

    That is just AWESOME and I am so jealous. I love biking but have never participated in an organized ride but now I might look into one.



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WOUBBIE 5/12/2013 10:50AM

    Inspirational! People really need to be reminded that MOST other people are nervous when doing these things, EVEN the ones in spandex!

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SCOOTER4263 5/12/2013 10:35AM

    Hey, *you* did it! All I did was show the faith in you that you deserved! Congratulations - that is a real achievement, not just in fitness, but in determination.

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MLH148 5/12/2013 10:21AM

   
amazing! awesome! I am like this too. I went to a group run, looked at everyone in their gear and just cried in my car. I'm too old, fat, slow...
Next time I'll do what you did. Baby steps. Thanks for the inspiration!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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VLINDER2013 5/12/2013 9:51AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon ...

Whoo Hoo !! So Proud of you .. Keep emoticon .. You are doing such Awesome things.. emoticon

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ALWYS-LKN-UP 5/12/2013 9:43AM

    You should be so proud of yourself for overcoming & pressing on!! Way to go & congratulations!! emoticon

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WISLNDR 5/12/2013 9:40AM

    I loved reading this! Good for you!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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