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SIRENALEANNE's Recent Blog Entries

Long Monday

Monday, September 16, 2013

Hi Yall. Today was a long day. Very busy though. Work is going great but I'm busy because I'm a team mentor. I help answer questions with work instructions and software issues. I love it, I love helping. But I am very tired so this is going to be short. I didn't get enough sleep so I did this to myself. I should know better to rest up for Mondays.

My non-scale victory for the day is going to the gym despite being tired all day. I talked myself into going. I worked out for an hour doing the Arc trainer (Elliptical) and some arm strength training. I feel good that I went but I tweaked my back a little bit. My fault again, I tried doing Burpees/squat thrust for the first time. I did 5.

emoticon And Now My Daily Dave Matthews Pic emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_VALEO_ 9/17/2013 4:05PM

    Great NSV! Burpees are a killer! emoticon

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CATTUTT 9/17/2013 2:00PM

    Man I won't even talk about trying a burpee, I'm VERY impressed that you did it!

I hope today is better for you. Less tiring and all those good things!


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SWEETNEEY 9/17/2013 9:46AM

    Yes you are an IronWoman

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BIGPAWSUP 9/17/2013 8:47AM

    Congrats! Great job. Hope you back is better after a good night's rest.

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JTREMBATH 9/17/2013 3:50AM


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MSGO72 9/16/2013 10:43PM

  emoticon on your NSV

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KELLIEBEAN 9/16/2013 10:42PM

    Burpees are no joke. Awesome! Nice job getting to the gym despite being tired.

I hope your back is okay.

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ARNETTELEE 9/16/2013 10:10PM

  Yep a long Monday!

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It's Never Too Late to Make a Non-scale Victory Happen

Sunday, September 15, 2013

I had a very long day yet it was not long enough to get everything done. emoticon

emoticon I went to my churches 100th anniversary celebration. The service was 3 hours long but I hardly noticed. It was a wonderful celebration and we had quite the collection of speakers. After we spent the morning at church I spent a few hours with my Mom.

I love my Mom, she is a strong and wonderful woman but she can be intense and can be all over the place sometimes. She sucked the energy right out of me and my husband so much so that when we got home at 4pm instead of running errands we BOTH needed a nap. emoticon My mothers not elderly. She's 49, She had me as a teenager, I'm 31. My family has a history of bipolar. I got help at an early age but my Mom believing this illness skips a generation refuses to get help. So when I say she's all over the place what I mean is.....well.....she's nuts. (If there was an emoticon with a smiley in a straight jacket I would have inserted it here) But she's my mom so what are you gonna do?

I had planned to spend time with my brother, go grocery shopping, go to the gym and take back some motorcycle gear that no longer fits. But this all went to the way side. Our energy level was null. We passes out at 4pm and we didn't wake up till 8 pm. I started feeling guilty, like I wasted the day. I had only gotten 3000 of 10,000 steps. The gym closes at 7pm on weekends.
emoticon Then I remembered Coach Nicole has some great work out videos on spark people. So, I did 2 work outs:

8-Minute Cardio Intervals Workout

Bootcamp: 10-Minute Cardio Kick Workout

emoticon Today I learned that it is never too late in the day to proclaim a non-scale victory. My non-scale victory today is doing two SparkPeople workouts instead of throwing my hands up in the air and feeling defeated. I did it! You can do it to!

emoticon And Now My Daily Dave Matthews emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATTUTT 9/16/2013 12:43PM

    Yay you for getting in that NSV! Working out that late is something I never have the motivation for, so good job you!


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BIGPAWSUP 9/16/2013 9:35AM

    Way to get it done

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KELLIEBEAN 9/16/2013 8:14AM

    Nice job! Spark videos come in very handy. Those are two of my favorites.

A big high five to ya! We both took care of business last night!

Great pic of Dave.


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SWEETNEEY 9/16/2013 8:06AM

    why not have a streak. you'll exercise for at least 10 minutes everyday. It is really gratifying when you find a why out of a tricky situation. You feel powerful.

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_VALEO_ 9/16/2013 5:10AM

    emoticon on your NSV!
No, it is never too late to turn around the day! Glad you did it!

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My experience from a friday the 13th night of hedonism to the likes of which have never been seen!!!

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Warning: this blog may contain too much information for some people to handle. I'd like to attach a friendly reminder of "do not judge lest ye be judged". But by all means laugh and comment and share your own experiences.

emoticon (This is my Judgey Kitty Face Pic.....Don't be a Judgey Kitty, BTW this is not my cat just some random internet cat) emoticon

Ok this blog title is a bit misleading because I HAVE experienced many a night of drunken hedonism just never on Friday the 13th. I got drunk last night. I hate getting drunk. No that's a lie, I hate the day AFTER getting drunk. I usually only go overboard once or twice a year but I just got over a hang over a month ago. emoticon I'm worried this is happening more often. I need to stop this. My drinking got really out of hand a few years back that I actually quit drinking for a few years.
Only 2 years ago I started again in moderation. Not to get drunk and escape as was my goal previously but to try new and different micro brews and wines.
After last night I'm considering another drinking hiatus. Although when I started drinking last night it wasn't to escape or get wasted. I think I got drunk because I was socially drinking. I wanted to keep the good times rolling and didn't have the mental facilities to say stop. I just want it known that we were at home there was no drinking and driving.

UGH! I just feel the free radicals wreaking havoc on my body this morning! emoticon

So how do I get past this and move on well I think I have an action plan and it goes like this:

Step 1 find the aspirin. oh wow hubby did the dishes? I think he might have drank too much to. Drunkin dish washing, a cry for help, or can i use this to my advantage?

Step 2 Drink much more water than my normal 72 oz. MUST REPLENISH FLUIDS

Step 3 don't let yesterday determine today's outcome. Get out and do something different. Keep moving forward (don't ya just love coach Nicole?)

Step 4 get some rest to let my body recover, its ok to rest. And forgive yourself (myself, whatever)

Step 5 there is no step 5 my OCD just wouldn't let me close this list without a step 5.

I have a tendency to go way overboard on everything; food, drink, work, exercise. I got to keep practicing moderation to make life work.

Non scale victory: although last night I indulged way too much I still manage to hit 10,000 steps on my Fitbit without going to the gym. I got in more steps at work. I also kept track of everything I ate and drink and although I went over my calories at least I know where I stand . I went over my calories by 724. Therefore not knowing is not going to derail me. And going over is not going to set me off course.

This is gonna happen its part of the journey. The key is NEVER GIVE UP! Its ok to slip up but just NEVER GIVE UP! Now everybody say it together NEVER GIVE UP! (I hear SparkPeople in my head and know I'm not alone) I can say in my creepy Sixth Sense Movie kid voice "I see SparkPeople, I speak to SparkPeople. " ok when the blog turns into the bizarre I know its time to wrap it up. Have a great Saturday!

Note to self: might want to start deleting last few paragraphs of all blogs to end the blog BEFORE it takes a strange turn. meh, maybe start that tomorrow. Now where the hell is the aspirin?

emoticon And now my Daily Dave Matthews Picture. Time to rest emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BIGPAWSUP 9/15/2013 3:05PM

    I love your blogs. Hope you've stopped hangin'!

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CATTUTT 9/15/2013 12:16PM

    Hope you got a big dose of aspirin to recover from the hangover. I'm not sure if it was a blessing or a curse, but I never got hangovers. I could have drank myself stupid and wake up fine the next day. I stopped drinking a few years ago, though. I rarely drank as it was, and with my diabetes and psych meds, I decided to just give it up.

Anyway, hope you're feeling better today!


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DOCKO56 9/15/2013 10:33AM

    Love the daily Dave Matthews PICTURE---PERHAPS YOU CAN (sorry for yelling) make a new daily feature on the DMB page and maybe Brad (and others, including myself) will revitalize the daily Dave song and we can get rolling into fall. (PS---I know you are busy with your other spark teams and daily blog as well Brad---keep up the great work!) emoticon

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DOCKO56 9/15/2013 10:33AM


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_VALEO_ 9/15/2013 4:23AM

    Thanks for the laugh! I also wonder when DH washes the dishes if he is not sick... Now I am going to smell his breath! emoticon

Hope your hangover is...over! emoticon

Good job on the 10K steps!

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SWEETNEEY 9/14/2013 10:15PM

    That was yesterday. What's happening today?

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KELLIEBEAN 9/14/2013 6:21PM

    I've been there, done that more times than I care to remember. Oh the overhangs I have suffered through. emoticon

You got your steps in and you have a plan in place. Win win!

Great pictures. I love your sense of humor! I hope you are feeling better!

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BAREFOOTGRL 9/14/2013 2:15PM

    It happens sometimes. Don't beat yourself up, it's just one day.

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FIRYMIST35 9/14/2013 2:08PM

  I agree with the previous poster. You got 10,000 steps which is great and it was only one day!

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RONNIEHUEY 9/14/2013 2:05PM

    Don't think what you did as bad. Think Positive-10,000 steps,made good food choices etc.Have a little fun this weekend

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Operation try not to slap husband on a Thursday was a success!

Friday, September 13, 2013

My non-scale victory is tied into this blog title. Yesterday I stayed within my calorie range and passed up unhealthy foods despite husbands worst efforts.

*******WARNING, May Contain TOO MUCH INFORMATION for some***************

After a very satisfying dinner and an awesome 1 hour workout, my husband got a call from his mother asking if he wanted a cheeseburger (Side note: we live with his parents) and he said yes. Ok I've tried and tried to get hubby to hop on the healthy bandwagon with me but I can only do so much. I have to pick my battles. When his mom brought over the burger king cheeseburger (Side note: We live in a back guest house) he kept asking me over and over, "you want some" "You want a bite" "You sure?". (Side Note/TMI: It's that time of the month for me) It's really hard this time of month to say no to junk food. But he finally scarfed it down and I was relived. Because of course I wanted a big juicy cheeseburger that smelled wonderful, but I also want to feel good and didn't plan on the extra calories. I do allow myself a cheeseburger now and then but I set aside calories for it.

Then he takes fries out of the bag and shoves one in my face! "want one". I shot him a dirty look and told him "for the last time, please stop offering me food!"
Finally he scarfed them down and YAY I celebrated another passing-on-junk-food-victory.

Then he goes into the main house to visit with his parents (Side note: They are in their 70s and are grateful as much as we are for us being there) He comes back to our little house has a huge smile on his face and throws snickers, and twix bars onto my lap.
(Side Note: The F*%#!) These are my favorite candy bars. Normally years ago during this time of month I would love these peace offerings but again….not tonight. I handed them back to him (Side note: even though I wanted to fling them at his head!) I was nice and told him no thank you and told him again that I'm trying to stay within my calorie range, please stop. And he took them back. I don't know what he did with them after that. I am proud of myself. I feel victorious!!!!!

My husband and his family are the worse saboteurs. They think I deprive my husband. Trust me husband is NOT starving. He's gained alot of weight since we moved back to San Antonio and he got out of the military. His family doesn't understand why I can't have those foods in the house. They are sugar junkies. They always keep sugary foods and snacks in their houses. Out in the open on every table and counter. They associate food with love. I don't think my husband intends to sabotage me, I think he means well but it's very hard living with a food pusher. Sparkpeople have really helped me to deal with them. I know this won't be the last time this happens but I am very proud of myself. emoticon

Operation try not to kill hubby on a Friday commences…. emoticon

Last Side Note: We live in a 500 square foot studio guest house. There's nowhere to go to get away from each other. Before I could go to another room while he binges on cereal and chips. Now there is nowhere to run. But I'm getting better. Before it only worked if it was out of sight, out of mind, now I'm able to deal with these things literally being shoved in my face. I haven't conquered it, I know It's a work in progress, but it's nice to know I do have control over what I put into my body. But I still don't allow bad foods stored in the house. That's just setting me up for failure. It's bad enough being a food cop at work but to have to be one at home to is just exasperating sometimes.

Daily Dave Matthews (Side Note, a co-worker asked me today who Dave Matthews is, I don't even know where to begin)

Have a wonderful and healthy weekend friends!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOCKO56 9/15/2013 10:27AM

    Put a smile on my face! Great job resisting! emoticon

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_VALEO_ 9/15/2013 4:16AM

    Good job for resisting the food and the slap!

Food pushers can be terrible. I have one cousin like that I visit less because of that.

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EMMACORY 9/13/2013 10:43PM

    FANTASTIC NSV!!!!!! emoticon You certainty are exercising your "no muscle" and it is getting stronger! emoticon

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CATTUTT 9/13/2013 10:25PM

    Congratulations on sticking it out and telling the hubby no. That's a hard thing to do sometimes! Great job on kicking ass at this!

Hope you're having a good weekend!


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BESCATS 9/13/2013 8:49PM

    First, let me say "you are to funny". emoticon You did awesome, and I don't know if I could have done it !!

I know what you mean about gaining weight after leaving the military ~ my hubby did the same thing ~ ended up with diabetes, high cholesterol, sleep apnea, etc.
He has always had to watch his weight, but he let is get WAY out of control, but being a man, he wouldn't listen to me. Time to make your hubby understand that he is setting himself up for all these problems, and more !!

When I retired 2 years ago, I put both of us on a different eating plan. I actually wasn't considered overweight for my height, but on the "high" end. I lost 40 lbs. and he lost 75. He has gained a few back, BUT his diabetes in now controlled with diet (no more pill), and the doctor has cut other meds. in half. His doctor is very happy with him. I also get him to the gym 3 times a week.

Perhaps, you could set his Mom down and have a little chat (if you get along well with them) explaining that you don't need the temptation, and you are trying to keep THEIR son healthy as well.

Good luck, and emoticon to you for a job well done !!!

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MALICORNE1 9/13/2013 7:39PM

  Great going! I know exactly what you mean !
But now my husband is on a new life style eating and doesn't wave food in front of me. He has found a new and as annoying way of getting at me.....

" I have lost .... x # of pounds, How much did you say you have lost so far?

Little Mental Murder waiting to happen! emoticon " says he!"

Comment edited on: 9/13/2013 7:40:42 PM

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BIGPAWSUP 9/13/2013 7:29PM

    You did AWESOME!!! You deserve to celebrate this one.

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ATHLETELORI 9/13/2013 6:29PM

    You deserve to be sainted for your patience and persistence!

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BLUENOSE63 9/13/2013 6:06PM

  Wow you have nerves of steel! Good for you for resisting the temptation but I would definitely have a talk with him cause he might get more than candy thrown at him next time.

Have a good one!

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GWTRIKER 9/13/2013 5:47PM

    You are a very funny telling a story! I no longer live with a food pusher, but know what it is like! Have you ever sat down and had a heart-to-heart with him regarding this?

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LSANGANGE 9/13/2013 5:38PM

    Love Love Love YOU!!! You are doing so well!!! I am so proud of you for your control (in not hitting and flinging candy and in not indulging in the food held to your face)!!


You are my hero right now!!


Your home may be small, but the world is big. Go for a walk next time you need to be alone or away from saboteurs for a moment emoticon

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LSANGANGE 9/13/2013 5:32PM

    OMG!!! I haven't even read the blog and I am laughing out loud at the title....I have had my own issues with my DH and this journey...Going to read the rest of it now emoticon

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Non-Scale Victory: Completed a 2 Hour Paranoid Workout Despite Cray Cray Peeps

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Yesterday my work cancelled OT. So I left to go to the gym, The same gym I'd been going to for over a year. MY GYM!. And there was 2 girls from my work that just months ago nearly destroyed my career and tried to get me fired. I almost turned around and walked out but I decided to stay. Not only did I stay and complete my work out I managed to log 20,000 steps on my fitbit and worked out for 2 hours! Behold, the motivating power behind betrayal, rage and paranoia. So I'm using my insane workout as my NSV because before I would have just walked away.

Ok, story behind why I was almost fired. In June I'd been battling a skin disease called Hidradenitis suppurativa for over 2 years. It got so bad it became infected and entered my blood stream. I almost died and thus was thrown off my healthy life style kick and wasn't on sparkpeople much. I had surgery to have it removed and it got rid of most of the infection. At this time I was struggling to get to work every day and maintain a life. My cubical sat between Three of the worst people I'd ever met in my life. One girl got mad because I didn't offer her some candy but offered it to someone else. (not intentionally on my part, I was just trying to unloud unwanted candy from my desk) There was another time one of them got mad because I told her "Good Morning" too many times. I later found on instagram a picture that said "Tell me good morning one more time and I'll cut you, some people just don't get it". And more and more and more. I delt with it for over a year but kept quiet at work. Those people also happen to be buddy buddy with higher ups.

One day as I was getting worse and worse my boss set me aside and told me to watch myself because some people were trying to get me fired. She said someone reported to her that I was starting rumors. She also warned me one of them is a friend of mine. She also said I don't have to be friends with everybody. This was a strange concept because I'm usually very friendly and trusting with everyone. And I don't talk bad about people. This person took what I said wrong "I don't know why they haven't gotten promoted because they are friends with lots of supervisors and have lots of pull". I didn't mean it to be a bad thing. Of course I shouldn't have said anything. Its none of my buisness. I was just trying to figure out what else my job is looking for to get promoted if its not just based on recommendation.

After the warning from my boss. I wrote on my face book that I got back stabed. I was pissed. Someone showed that post to my boss and I got an official verbal warning. So I took off everyone I worked with off my facebook save for one. This girl had been a really really good friend for over 2 years! I thought I knew her. She wasn't like one of the "bad ones".

Well I was feeling pretty sick, it was a Sunday and I wrote on my facebook that night "I don't want to go into work tomorrow and see those awful awful people". And I got so sick I couldn't go into work the next day. The day I did return to work my boss took me aside and told me someone showed her my post and she went to HR and my Manager and they decided to write me up for speaking bad about the company. Facebook doesn't list my employer. I found out later that close friend showed my boss my post. That person is blocked now. That person also told that other person what I said about knowing the supervisors and having pull. My boss kinda confirmed it was that person to. Also other people in my department saw her showing my boss her phone, going through my facebook post screen by screen. I felt so betrayed.

My only regret is I should have named names and said something worse. To get written up for saying those "awful people" just wasn't worth it. I'd never been written up in my whole life and to be written up for that was just ridiculous. When my boss wrote me up I acted like a fool, I was feeling really sick and couldn't handle my emotions. They had me on heavy anti-biotics and pain meds for the infection, the pills made me nauseas and emotional. I started crying and couldn't stop. And when I cry It's not pretty. I looked a red mess. My reputation was tarnished. I looked like a crazy person.

For the 2 years I had been at my workplace I'd been trying to become a supervisor or get a promotion. Now I don't see that happen. Although I'm feeling better now and back to myself. My reputation is tarnished. And they've had lots of openings but I can't apply because I'm considered on progressive discipline. I can't apply for any promotion for 6 months!

Since then I finally got the surgery, I'm feeling better. And they moved our department around so I got moved to a much better location rows away from those people. In that time I discovered Dave Matthews Band, became better aware of my situation, relaxed more and see that things are not in my control. I've also been able to work on my marrige and important relationships. . All in all it worked out for the best.

I'm not scared to write this. If I get caught and get written up or fired for this it's worth it. And if I get fired for speaking my feelings then that place doesn't deserve me. I was told when I got written up and started crying by my boss that if I want to work here I better toughen up. I straight out told her I don't want to work in a place that's going to compromise who I am. This is who I am. And I AM TOUGH DAMN IT! (I didn't say that last part though) It was horrible timing. I was down and out and I felt I was just getting kicked all over the place. BTW they didn't get written up for saying if you say good morning one more time, I'll cut you.

My boss and I are on good terms now. I've made new work friends but the trust is broken. No work friends on FB or sparkpeople but I do spread the spark all over work.

There was an opening for a supervisor position and that person that showed my boss my post had the freaking nerve to ask if I was going to apply. Everyone knows how much I wanted to be a supervisor. I can't, because of her!

Anyways, those people were at MY GYM and I didn't leave. I stuck it out and am so glad I did. My Sparkpeople, My church, my gym are my sacred places. I'm not going to let them destroy that. My facebook used to be but not anymore. Once you get written up at work for a facebook post it no longer becomes a happy place. While at the gym I felt self-conscious Because no one knows me there, I can be myself. My work clothes don't match. I wear all these devices and I wear a fanny pack. But all those things push me and serve a purpose. I don't care how I look all that matters are how I feel after my workout. But it did make me paranoid. I have social and generalized anxiety anyways so it was great getting passed that and just stay being me. I love me! Thanks Sparkpeople!

There's a lot more that happened that led up to that event and has happened since but that's the summary of the work drama. Take this as a cautionary tale or motivation. Who knew 10 years ago you could get written up at work by something as trivial as a thing called facebook?

Daily Dave Matthews (I made this one)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_VALEO_ 9/15/2013 4:08AM

    Kudos for staying at the gym despite everything! Attagirl!

I'm glad that you're doing better and that your infection is over. What a scary disease!

Re: Facebook and other social media, I am not a member. I have been considering switching my SP's page to private... but I don't talk at all about my work here. Though I certainly would not like my personal life to be scrutinized by people I work with or people I'll work with in the future. FYI, as a project manager when I hire someone, I always look up their tracks on the Internet.
I can understand how you feel, I have also been stabbed in my back a couple of times by people who wanted to take my place! ;)
In the great scheme of things, that's irrelevant. You have to ignore that and ignore them; and it actually makes you stronger. And, if you are stronger, they won't be able to repeat their bad deeds, otherwise they would look like the tattletale persons inside the company-- and no manager wants an untrustworthy type of personality in their team. (they are not focused on their work, but on gossips. Stay focused!)

Vent and rant all you want "off record", but be careful with writing (they stay online [almost for ever]... it is like publishing your thoughts in the newspaper.)
Workplace can sadly bring out the worst in coworkers whatever the position in the company.
You have to protect yourself and have a very interesting and balanced life outside your job, as well as good friends to whom you can confine in and who don't know a single person from your work. You can send me Private Messages whenever you feel like it.

Comment edited on: 9/15/2013 4:09:02 AM

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CATTUTT 9/13/2013 1:02PM

    Oh I know those kind of coworkers. I was hospitalized in behavioral health when I worked at my last job. I told only my "closest friends". For obvious reasons, I didn't want the entire office to know that. I found out about 6 months later than one of my "closest friends" had told everyone she talked to at work about it. I felt like everyone was looking at me like I might snap any second.

Anyway... just saying, I know how it feels to get stabbed in the back like that. Work brings out the worst in people. But congratulations on getting that workout done anyway! 2 hrs, woo hoo!


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SWEETNEEY 9/13/2013 6:38AM

    hey those people are so in your rear view mirror. Be positive about your future. If you want to be a supervisor, you focus on that and you go for it. It may not be at the same company it may be somewhere else - look wide

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KELLIEBEAN 9/12/2013 3:54PM

    I am VERY impressed you stayed at the gym and got your workout in. Way to be you! They are small and petty and you are improving yourself daily.

Social websites can bite peopel in the a**. It happens everywhere. All you can do now is keep being yourelf and don't let anyone knock you down. Good things are coming.



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JSAMMONS1981 9/12/2013 3:50PM


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BIGPAWSUP 9/12/2013 3:49PM

    Congrats for standing your ground. Proud of you.

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MJRVIC2000 9/12/2013 3:34PM

    Good workout, but forgive and be at peace with yourself and God! God Bless YOU! Vic.

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