Suddenly I Like Salad and Hate Running...

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Jist me growing up... i hated anything that was healthy. until i joined sparkpeople in june of 2008 and tried dieting and eating healthy, i ate 4 main food "groups"

they were: pizza, pasta, chicken nuggets, and fruity candy...

and i'm not exaggerating. those were the only four foods i would ever eat. even when i was 20! my ex-bf would always make fun of me for how picky i was. i would eat other things but rarely... and i always preferred those. now they still are my favorites which is though living in italy where pizza and pasta dominate..

we had a group dinner last weekend and the girls made salad. i found some ranch-like salad dressing (i think it's a mix between ranch, italian, and caesar) and tried it on the salad for dinner. i didn't want to be the only person not taking salad so i tried it. i suprisingly really LIKED it! and i have no idea where this has come from.. but i've been eating a bowl of salad with every meal since then. i rarely eat vegetables still so it's amazing that i'm actually getting servings of veggies each day now.

and on the downside... i hate running now. like i have absolutely no motivation to go running. i could walk for hours and no problem with that but i just don't want to go running. like getting dressed and finding my ipod and not being able to look at buildings around me when im running, it's annoying. like it's boring and repetitive. cobblestone here creates an uneven surface so i constantly have to look at the ground and watch out for dog crap everywhere. i can't look up and at the buildings which makes it annoying. i just start walking then so i can look around. and i hate getting all dressed for running where walking i can just be in street clothes.

i'm trying to focus on food, so exercising isnt that important... but still i need both if i want to maximize my efforts to lose weight... bleh.. i've just become so lazy here. i sleep all the time and lay in bed and never want to get up which is crazy because i'm in Rome but i feel no urgency to get up..

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BOUDINETTE 1/18/2010 2:03AM

walk!:) exercising is important. Report Inappropriate Comment

BENJAMINSBABY 1/18/2010 12:35AM

Congrats on discovering you like salads! That's really great! Don't worry too much about not running. Try speed walking; that way you will burn more calories than just walking, while also being able to explore the surrounding buildings. Hope you're having a great week! Report Inappropriate Comment

SIRA5106 1/17/2010 4:00PM

yea... i've been reading really great reviews about 30 day shred which i'll probably turn into 3 month shred. i just have to find the dvd here in italy. shipping is tough, super slow, and expensive. but maybe i can find it here! sadly, i don't own any dvd's so i had nothing to bring with me.. Report Inappropriate Comment

CHRISTIE_UIOWA 1/17/2010 3:08PM

Way to go with the salads!! :) I think that if you enjoy walking, just continue to do that...at least you're still burning some calories. If you dont want to do running, you could always do some workout videos or something, too....its always good to mix things up a bit. I hope things get better for you and you find the motivation that has faded! Report Inappropriate Comment

RUNNER_TIFF_07 1/17/2010 8:12AM

If you enjoy walking around Italy, then I say do it! Walk around Italy, enjoy the views, and get your exercise in all at once! You may have to walk for a longer duration than you would if you ran, but at least you're being active in some way. You could always try to walk faster so that you can feel you heart beating faster, ya know? And, my question is, if you don't like to run, why are you running? You don't have to run in order to workout... there are other ways. Have you tried going to the gym? Are there any around your area that you could use? There's always the elliptical, bike, treadmill, weights. Like I said, if you don't like running, don't! But in order to meet your goals, fitness should probably be apart of the plan... Report Inappropriate Comment

I swear I'm Italian at Heart

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

italy is great! i don't think i'll ever not look a tourist walking down the streets! haha i'm always looking up and around even if it's the same way i walk to class everyday. classes are ok. so far all we have is drawing and italian. i'm really excited for italian. i'm mad i didn't take learning it much more serious because i really want to know it, be fluent. like seriously. i honestly want to hire a tutor and learn on my own outside of class. i'm getting rosetta stone tomrorow and i'll give that a shot first.

italy fits me so well it's amazing. people love to shop and eat and just get lost in their own city. it's tradition to go out for an hour walk around town before going to the grocery store and then going home to make dinner. so naturally people make dinner around 8-10pm. so i need to find me a man and get walking and cook him dinner! haha i love pizza, pasta, and wine and i could never sick of it so i have be careful with my portions or i could see myself getting bigger if i go crazy. but i am trying to walk everywhere and walk my butt off! it is kinda tough because we have class from 9am-5pm every day and it's nearly dark when we finish class so i can't spend 2 hours walking or running around unless i wake up early. waking up early is a possibility but it's so tough when i'm just making dinner at 9pm so i don't fall asleep until 1am.

the first few days here i barely ate anything at all. i didnt make it to the grocery store so i literally ate like one sandwich or one slice of pizza all day. now i have groceries but protein is expensive so it almost always will be made with pasta for lunch and lots of veggies for dinner to spread it out. and i brought protein powder along with me but i don't have anything to mix it up with because stirring just work well enough to break the clumps up. maybe a wisk? haha

i really think i can lose weight here easily. eating normal portions and cooking healthy meals is SO easy over here. there's no temptations by 20 fast-food places for quick meals and grocery stores with already made dinners to just get to-go. there's hundreds of restaurants here but they are a 2 hour time commitment and the language barrier is incredibly frightening at the moment. so i won't be dipping into those just yet. gelato i refuse to have until april. i will have it. but i am going to wait, so i don't get it everyday. i already tried pizza and instantly i want it everyday, every meal but i can't.

well i need to get back to researching chicken and pasta primavera recipes for tomorrow's dinner. i'm very excited about it and i'm going to make lots of it for meals later. i just need to find a recipe where i can find all the ingredients here.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REACHING120 1/14/2010 11:30AM

hey! That's awesome! Glad you are having a fun time! Sounds like you are doing well! I understand what you are going through. I'm currently in Macedonia, which is close to Italy and Greece. There's is a BIG language barrier and it's hard for me to find foods that I like. I'm very limited on my choices and I have been doing great on my weight loss. Hope you stick to exercising and eat healthy and you will reach your goals! =) xoxo Keep me posted on your weight loss journey! Report Inappropriate Comment

BENJAMINSBABY 1/13/2010 11:31PM

I am so happy that you love it there! (And just mildly jealous! :) ) Walking everywhere is really going to make a difference over the next few months! It seems like you are really soaking up the culture there! You'll have to post pics :) I know you might not believe it now, but I bet you will have italian down sooner than you think. Challenge yourself every chance you get; even if it seems daunting, you'll be glad for it in the long run. You are so lucky to get to learn the language there! Oh and the food! Mmmmmm. So you have your own kitchen then? That's awesome that you can shop for and prepare all your meals! You're going to have so many great recipies when you come back. Have you been able to fit in workouts other than walks so far? I hope you're having a BLAST! I'm living vicariously through you! Report Inappropriate Comment

MICKEL05 1/13/2010 10:19AM

Wow! That sounds like an amazing experience!! I am so excited for you and kudos for sticking to your goals in a land full of such amazing food! It is great that you do so much walking there and that there are no fast food spots that we have on every corner here, to tempt you! When I was in college I lived in Japan and due to all the walking, less access to fried fast food and eating more fresh foods I was teeny tiny when I got home, just in time for a high school reunion! It felt great! I so hope you have a great experience there and can't wait to hear more about your adventures! Report Inappropriate Comment

BOUDINETTE 1/13/2010 3:30AM

your italy experience sounds very exciting. i want to go there one day, too. italian men are hot, so not only you'd benefit health-wise getting one, you'd also get pure aesthetic pleasure out of it lol Report Inappropriate Comment

MEIORI 1/12/2010 10:27PM

Wow that sounds like such a blast! I'd love to visit Italy and eat some of the wonderful food. What are you over there for? I'm so curious! It's really fantastic you're out doing something truly wonderful and an utterly unique life experience. Report Inappropriate Comment

AMOREME4EVA 1/12/2010 6:05PM

Hey girly!! I'm sooo happy to hear you are having a blast in Italy!! I'm also happy to hear you are looking to learn to cook and pasta recipes are so fun! hahaha Keep up the fantastic work with losing weight! I can totally tell you have major willpower and you have your eyes on the prize! We can do this chica!!! I'm ready to lose weight too!! It's a new year and our lifestyles will get closer and closer to becoming the way we want to live the rest of our lives. (Hopefully that makes sense because I'm watching TV and doing this at the same time hahahahaha) The cruise was VERY relaxing, but the weather wasn't great. out of the 7 days we had 1.5 days of gorgeous, laying out weather. I came home with color which I love lol, and souvenirs along with 5 lbs... OY!!! I'm pretty sure I'll be able to shed that asap because I started Weight Watchers again and won't be eating at a buffet 2 times a day! Christmas and New Year was also good. Christmas was weird because my parents and I didnt see my entire family like usual. No one wanted to have christmas at their house so it was just my parents, me, a couple neighbors, and a handful of relatives. It was nice though to not have little kids running around! New Year was good... I spent time with an old friend (from grade school!) and it was just a chill night of board/card games and drinking. How many classes are you taking? Good luck cooking dinner!!!! miss you!!!! Let's lose this weight together!!! Ok?? Report Inappropriate Comment

I want to learn to cook!

Monday, January 11, 2010

So I'm just starting to watch Julie and Julia.. but I really want to learn how to cook. I'm in Italy for god sakes.. I should take the time to visit markets and find amazing little new foods everywhere. Get myself out in the culture without being scared of it. I'm honestly completely scared of talking to italians or having any conversations with them. I don't know why, but I am really scared.

Every time I've gone to supermarket it's been closed. So tomorrow I need to get to the store and just buy a bunch of stuff, like fresh veggies and fruits, some chicken and herbs, bread, cheese, and wine. Agh it'll be fun I hope.

My mind just can't shut off these last few days. I've been having a really hard time sleeping and just crazy weird times. It's 1:08am. I have class tomorrow starting at 9:30.. Yuck! But I just can't shut my brain off.

The ex-bf that caused me all that misery.. the one that fueled my rage to lose weight.. added me on facebook on new years. at first i was so angry that i just let his request pend... forever.. until today. i changed all the privacy settings for his so he can't see anything of mine except profile photos, some info, not my relationship status, and my status updates.

so of course when i added him that meant that i could look at his profile too. and when i did i was suddenly filled with jealousy and anger and i just can't let these feelings go. from what i gathered though, he's still the same person. and single. and i feel bad because he let me see his entire profile, nothing blocked that i'm aware of.

i know i won't ever get back together with him. i did not love him in a way that was true love. i would be completely unhappy marrying him. but i still care, i want to know everything going on in his life. but i'm not sure if i'm ready. i don't have answers for any of the things he did. why suddenly i was just kicked out and he had a complete change of heart? i want to know. i don't know how i'm supposed to be as a person with him until i know. i just can't forgive him until i know. i can't be happy for him until i understand why he did what he did.

i don't know how i'm supposed to be friends with my first love. he was my first everything. absolutely no way i can treat him just like any other male friend. facebook has made this so difficult. i don't want to let him into my life, not without explaination. but if i turned him down on facebook it just shows i'm not over it or i can't deal with it yet. by adding him its like he's got total forgiveness, he's completely let off the hook, never has to speak to me, apologize, even acknowledge that he knows me if he ever saw, but yet knows everything going on in my life.

i thought by adding him and letting him only see my updates and profile photos that he really doesnt get to know the people involved in my life, just enough to see that i'm doing fine. maybe that's sends the message. like im ok with you know knowing im fine. but we are not just peachy-keen and you aren't off the hook. i don't know if i'll get my answers but i hope i can just move on and not obsess about knowing everything in his life now. i could see myself developing some kind of feelings for him again just out of loneliness, and longing for what we used to have. when i think about the relationship we had, it's still so unreal sometimes that it is over. that i just pretended he didnt exist for the last 2 years. god, this whole thing has really thrown me for a loop. much, much more than i would have ever thought.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATISBLUE 1/11/2010 9:48AM

I'm sorry, ex-boyfriends are miserable. Maybe you should block him? Avoid the negative energy? And it is awesome that you are in Rome! I'm going to London in the fall! Sparkpeople has some great recipes, but you should also check out the healthy sections on recipezaar.com or allrecipes.com. I'm a big fan. Pasta especially is really easy to make hearty/healthy. Report Inappropriate Comment

Dealing With the Fact That I've Gained..

Saturday, January 09, 2010

It's Saturday in Rome. I've been here for 1 whole day now. Now I need to start getting my $hit together.

I just got back from an attempt to go running. I completed 3.88 miles plus warm-up and cooldown in 60 minutes. Burned 448 calories according to my nike+. I bought one before leaving so I could track my calories.

I am finally facing the reality of the damage I didnt in November and December. All that time it took to lose weight and struggling with running the whole past year and I threw it away. I looked at some people pages after they left spark for a little bit and then they would come back have gained weight and say, "that will be never be me." The funny part is, I barely left Spark. I checked in like once a week but I never made any changes.

I weighed myself this morning. (Yes, I brought a scale with me to Italy...and protein powder) 151.8 pounds. I can't kid myself anymore. This is not TOM, this is not just a binge from the night before or drinking a lot of water before going to sleep. This is fat. My pants don't fit, all my shirts are tight and look like crap. I have this tire around waist now, where it was almost flat before.

This time last year I weighed 139.5 pounds. 5 pounds crept up over the summer to 144. 3 crept up on me in September to November. and Late November/December I gained 8 more. That just put me over the edge.

I stare at myself in the mirror and I'm literally in shock of how this happened. Like I blinked suddenly I'm big, fat, and lazy again. All of my running endurance is gone. I ran 8 miles in 1hr 22 minutes in September. Today I attempted 4 and it took 1 hour.

I can't believe that it just piled on so quickly.


Since I'm in Rome, I don't have access to a gym. But I also don't have a car. So walking around is all the only choice I have. I don't know much about walking, in cross-country walking was always being lazy, so walking to me doesnt feel like exercise. I need to get out and run for 45 minutes a day though. That's what I'm going to try to do. Just get out there, set my nike+ for 45 minutes and just go trying not to walk. And push myself to keep running. Eventually I know it will get easier.

Standing at the bottom of the hill always look so daunting, but once you get going, find your rhythm it becomes easy and all of sudden you're at the top.

I'm pretty sure this is rock bottom for me. But I'm in a foreign country, processed food is hard to find. I need to get healthy groceries and buy them often. Cook healthy meals and delicious meals. I brought my clean eating cookbook with me and I'm excited to put it to use.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CONIFER 1/9/2010 3:22PM

great post...being honest with yourself is such an important step. I have ben avoiding the scale as I dont want to own up to my own slip...but I too will hav to accept the gain and get in gear. p.s. The longest I have been able to run for so far is 10 minutes and I'm proud of that. Dont be so hard on yourself!!! yu ave still made amazing progress. Report Inappropriate Comment

CHRISTIE_UIOWA 1/9/2010 12:21PM

I've been in your shoes (check out my blog '2009 in review' to hear my story) and I know exactly what its like to see all of your hard work slip away before you know it. Whats important is that you're conscious of the gain and that you are doing something about it. It sounds like you have some great ideas to get back on track. I think that being in a new place with awesome/new scenery will maybe help with your workouts?? If you make the changes you wrote about, (working out and eating healthy) I'm sure you'll be back on track and start losing again in no time. Just remember to stay strong and don't give up---I know you can do it!! :) Report Inappropriate Comment

ANGELICA534 1/9/2010 10:54AM

sounds like a shocking wake up call but at least you got it, you will move forward and get back to where you were and think how exciting it will be to run in a new place and just absorb all that is around you!! Report Inappropriate Comment

Home for Christmas

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Ugh... I was so determined to kick butt and lose weight when I was home and now I had to go back home earlier because of the storm so I lost time with my gym and my own food.

Needless to stay this week was not good. I didn't work out once. Laid around and slept way too much. Ate mindlessly and at random times and probably too much. My parents scale is way off from the scale at my home so I'm not sure what I weigh. It said 146.6 when I first got here so that's like 3 to 3.5 pounds off. But I haven't stepped on it much since I've been here. I know I won't like the number.

When I go back to my apartment tomorrow I have until Saturday at home and then I move back here to get ready for leaving for Italy. My hopes to get back to my comfy 143 isn't look possible. I'm just not trying hard enough at home.

On a bright note, I went to the casino last night and won $75 playing crapps on some older guy's money! haha.. I'm just hanging out at the table with my friends and this guy with literally $3,000 in poker chips comes up to the table and says, "Hey, is she rolling? I'll bet on her." and points to me. and I'm just like "Uh.. I have no idea what's going on so no".. and he passes me like $60 in chips and tells me to play. so I play. and I figure out the game. It's pretty easy. Any time I won something fairly big like $20, I put 2 - $5 chips in my pocket.. haha I had $75 in my pocket before what I had on the table ran out. It was fun and I made about the same amount of money as the shift at work that I had to give up earlier this week.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMOREME4EVA 12/28/2009 12:54AM

first of all, congrats on the win! that's awesome! hahaha... second, i haven't weighed myself in awhile now, and am REALLY dreading the number when i actually go to weigh myself... my cruise is coming up in less than a week and well i haven't lost anything! i know it because my jeans are getting tight. girl, u and i are both in the same boat and i know exactly how u r feeling! (low confidence... not wanting to socialize) i've been trying to come up with a plan on changing my frame of mind, but i haven't really been successful. once i think of something i will definitely let you know! today i had a melt down... i cried to my mom because for lunch i had mickey d's and last night i drank AND had a cheeseburger and fries in chicago... so my self confidence was the lowest it has been in awhile. i think what we may need are stress relieving pictures and activities, as well as trying to get into a routine of at least eating healthy... maybe not planning every single meal, but each time we eat during the day we should REALLY think about healthier choices even if it's having chips than french fries or chicken nuggets rather than a chicken sandwich (or grilled vs crispy---sorry i think i'm still thinking about mcdonald's!) as for italy... idk if u've been there before, or have done some research, but my aunt and uncle just went there for vacation and said a lot of the food is pasta, pizza, gellato. idk if that's REALLY the case, but maybe look up italy restaurants/healthier food choices? maybe what you'll need to focus on when you're over there are portion sizes? sorry this is a super long comment! i hope my unhealthy experiences/theories about eating healthier help! even just a little! try not to get too down on yourself... i've been trying to keep my head up just a little bit every day. talk to you soon!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

SIRA5106 12/27/2009 10:59PM

cheers to that!! i think i gained those 4 pounds back.. ugh.. Report Inappropriate Comment

CHRISTIE_UIOWA 12/27/2009 3:16PM

I hear ya! I didnt make it back home for christmas this weekend due to the weather, so my family postponed it to next weekend (there were other family members that weren't able to make it due to the storm, too). BUT I was at my bf's parents all weekend and definitely didnt eat how I normally would...and wasnt able to workout while I was there. Here's to us getting back on track this week with better, healthier choices and working out! Report Inappropriate Comment