Wednesday, July 02, 2008
i'm inches away from giving up... well i kinda did. i blew today by 500 calories and ate junk.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME???
i'm so frustrated and confused! ok. i HAVE been picture perfect. the ideal of any personal trainer's dream for 5 straight weeks now. i never go over my calories by more than 50. always hit the protein range by at least 20g extra. never hit the fat range. drumroll please....................................
i've lost ZERO inches. and barely 1 pound! AFTER 5 WEEKS!
i'm sorry but usually everyone sees a difference in 5 weeks. like i seriously can't believe that nothing has happened yet. the plan that i'm doing is what my trainer set up and at my weigh-in last saturday i was supposed to come in at 152 pounds. i was 163.4. down 1.4 pounds. he set up my plan to meet that weight! and nothing happened. a Ph. D in fitness and health and he couldn't get me there. seriously what is wrong with me??
i read countless blog after blog of people on their weight loss journey's and every single person has seen at least a loss of inches and a minimum of 4 pounds in that first 4-6 weeks. and i've got nothing to show for my work... really, makes me wanna just eat whatever the hell i feel like it, because then i enjoy life more and my weight stays the same and i feel the same.
another reason why i'm so frustrated is because i wanted to be 1 size down by the time i leave to go home and visit friends over the holiday. which is tomorrow. and my ex-ex bf is going to be in town and we still kinda "talk" and i kinda wanna "run" into him at the fireworks celebration. i don't know what it is about this guy because he drives me insane and at times i really disliked him a lot but he never goes away. when i think he's gone, he'll pop back up. the timing is just never right...but one of these times, when he sees me, i want his jaw to drop. i kinda want him to think of me as something more and i can decide what i want.
man, i want a good, strong drink. it's been a tough day.