Sunday, January 12, 2014
To say that 2013 was turbulent would be an understatement. Here's a look back at what happened month by month.
My first 5k
Started a regular job as an ESL teacher, loved it
Long term relationship I was in took a downturn. Lots of arguing. He was becoming more and more interested in his video games and less interested in having a life with me.
Relationship ended. Cue feelings of sadness, anger, and loneliness.
Started online dating to keep myself busy.
Moved from a cozy little apartment into my grandparents house. Not cozy. Not quiet. Cue lots of anxiety.
Met a few guys from an online dating site.
Had surgery on my sinuses to fix a chronic issue (polyps in my sinuses causing lots of sinus infections)
Started dating a friend from college. Got real serious real quick. Cue the start at the best summer I've had in forever.
More new relationship happiness
More frustrating with living at my grandparents house
My boss at the ESL school got fired, cue the beginning of the end for me at that school
Got my own place for the first time! It was awesome at first....
Work was going downhill fast. Pressure to keep survey results up. Mounting evidence that student progress didn't matter.
Met my boyfriend's parents.
Went kayaking for the first time.
Nice quiet place with nice quiet roommate went away. Second roommate moved in with loads of noise and smoking.
Tried a second teaching job to make some extra money. Bad idea. Cue lots of stress and anxiety.
Ditched second job. Anxiety level way too high. Stuff at the ESL school was terrible.
Serious search for a new job began. First of many interviews....
Got fed up with the situation at my place. Moved in with my boyfriend and his friends.
Excellent living situation. Terrible work situation.
My job ended the day before Thanksgiving.
Resting and recovering from my job. Intense search for a new job.
Realization that I'm 200 pounds again. Frustration. Depression.
So here we are at January 2014. I'm looking at a fresh start in my career. I'm looking into becoming a preschool teacher. I've had 3 interviews in preschools already. I have one more tomorrow. So hopefully the job search will end soon.
As for my weight? My good habits disappeared when all of the stress and anxiety from my job hit. It's time to rebuild them.
Step 1: Log in to Spark People every day.
Step 2: Drink more water. At least 8 glasses a day.
Step 3: Start a fitness streak. How many days in a row can I exercise for at least 10 minutes?
So here we go. A fresh start for 2014. A better job for me. A happy life with the man I love. A happier body so I can enjoy that life.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Hello! It has been a long time since I've blogged, mainly because a lot has happened and quite frankly I didn't know where to start.
It all started about a month ago. I ended the 3 year relationship between me and my (now ex) boyfriend. It's a long story that still makes me angry but it all boils down to the fact that playing video games with his friends was more important than spending time with me. It left me feeling like he was basically using me for a free place to live while he tried to figure his life out. Except he wasn't trying to figure his life out. He wasn't working towards a future. He was just stagnant. And he was stagnant while playing video games in every free moment he had. I would have given him the world yet he couldn't give up video games for one night every other week to have a date night with me. Makes me feel kind of worthless, to be honest.
Or at least I did feel that way. One night about a week and a half ago I decided I wasn't gonna sit around feeling sorry for myself anymore. So I signed up on a dating website. I had the normal amount of guys who just wanted to see naked pictures, but then I got a message from this guy. Answering that message was probably the best thing I've done for myself in quite a while! He wanted to know all about me, my hobbies, my work, what I like, what I don't like, what books I like to read. Talking on the website lead to texting which lead to nightly phone calls for a few nights. That lead to us making a date to go out and meet each other. If we clicked so well on the phone and email then certainly we'd click in person right?
Oh god you have no idea how right. That first date was last Friday. We've seen each other 5 more times since then. Even after a 12 hour day at work the first thing this guy wants to do is come over and see me. He kind, considerate, generous, good looking, and he's around me I feel like the most important person in the world. Now I know, I know. After a 3 year relationship maybe I should proceed slowly and cautiously. And that is my intention here. But I'm not gonna let a good thing slip through my fingers simply because I'm scared of a repeat of my last relationship.
This is all leading me to want to be kinder to myself again. I took my anger out on my body. Lots of fast food. Too much coffee to help me perk up after nights of terrible sleep. So my promise this week? I'm going to treat myself the way I expect others to treat me. I made some healthy meals and stuck them in the fridge so I can take them to work. That should help avoid the local pizza and sub places. I'm also going to commit to at least 10 minutes of exercise each day.
Tuesday, February 05, 2013
Between my current anxiety level and my class getting canceled my confidence level is shot. It's been shot since last week actually and it's starting to show. My boss noticed and offered some encouragement along with telling me that sometimes I just have to pretend I'm confident even if I'm not.
My question to you is this: How do you do that? I have tried and I apparently haven't figured it out yet. I'd love to hear your ideas, especially since it's starting to bleed through into my work.
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