SIMPLYRO83  
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Crying/ Prayer

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

So.. I've been bleeding in between periods for 3 months now. I did all the STD tests and nothing.. So now the doctors would like to give me another exam and an ultrasound thinking that it could be a cyst or endometriosis, or uterine cancer or cervitis or alllll these other things. So April 9th I go for my pelvic exam and they will order an ultra sound for me then. I was up crying alllll night because I was thinking about the "what if's" ya know? I haven't had any kids yet and I want 2 so WHAT IF I end up not being able to have any? WHAT IF I need surgery and I die? I know thats extreme but that is where my mind went. It's like here I am working hard on getting healthy so I can live a long and exciting life and I get THIS news..

To top things off my ex (who I guess I kinda have been dating/sexing... I dunno what it is) should be supporting me but isn't and he's an asshole so I guess that's why he's an ex right? What sucks is that we were engaged and the whole 9 yards so you'd think he would treat me a little better but NOOOO.. I guess some men are just trash.. I should be happy I found out he was trash right? lol... Still hurts though not having his support through this or at all.. So I've decided to just leave him alone completely.. And that advice came from one of his close friends who I now can consider a friend of mine.

In all bad news there is always a glimmer of hope and positivity. My positive thing is that I am still here and aside from being tired, I feel great. I am back in the gym, I am eating right, i am focused on what I have to do in order to succeed in life, I know who my real friends are and I have a great family that has my back.. So I know whatever it is I will get through it..

PLUUUUS KrucialKimmie finally shared her abs secrets.. lol.. YESSSS!!!!

I would appreciate any and all of your prayers for me and my health and life and getting past the sucky ex... Thanks guys!! And as bad as things are, there's always someone somewhere how has it worse than you so smile and be happy for the positive things in your life. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MS-CEE 3/25/2009 11:59AM

    Sending you positive vibes and prayers, little sister! emoticon

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SIMPLYRO83 3/25/2009 11:57AM

    Thank you guys so much.. For the prayer, the motivation, and the genuine caring and kindness... I feel a little more relaxed.

XSOLA_FIDEX: I will visit that website. Bible study and prayer uplifts me every single time I feel down.

FREYTAMRA: You're totally right.. 1. He's a butt munch and 2. I need to take it easy because it is probably something that can be fixed easy, no problem. thanks for the soothing advice. i will surely use it.

MANDYBOO: I can dig it... If they are dragging me down, they sooo need to just STEP...

Thanks again to all of you for helping be be a bit stronger!! emoticon

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XSOLA_FIDEX 3/25/2009 11:44AM

    Hi! I just came across your blog and saw the call to prayer. I have said a prayer, and hope that God's will shall be done in your life and for your fear and sickness. If you have a moment, go to biblegateway.com and look up John 15. Within that scripture holds the promise that if you get your life through God and live by His words and promises, ask and whatever it is that you want within His will it will be done for you. That means healing of the spirit, body, and mind can be yours. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your week, and that you find the rest and joy that you require!

HUGS!
Holly

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FREYTAMRA 3/25/2009 11:30AM

  You don't know me but I just finished posting my blog for today...trying to get back at it! :) I decided to just search around other blogs for some inspiration and found yours.

There are soooooo many things that could be going on to cause your issues.....things that are not "BAD BAD". Ultrasounds are no big deal at all...I've had quite a few. I've had things "wrong", the ultasounds shows the dr what it is.. and you fix it...with meds, possible surgery (easy surgery - NOT going to effect your future). There are so many procedures to fix things right now? Very surprising.

It's so stressful let your mind wander - I'm a pro at it.

The ex? Well.... the good news is...yes...you aren't married to him. You know how he is. It hurts terribly. You really need someone to lien on right now and he's being his typical self. Would he feel the same it there was something going on with his reproductive system?? I think not. lol

Hang in there!! Stay focused on the workouts. Exercise really helps to keep your mind busy as well. Best of luck!

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MANDYBOO 3/25/2009 11:29AM

    Good luck with your exam!

Stay strong and keep anyone that drags you down, OUT of your life.

emoticon

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No Sleep

Monday, March 23, 2009

I am working off a lousy 3 hours of sleep. My day did not start well at all. :(
I woke up LATE and thus was LATE for work.. I didn't get to eat anything until now (12:09pm).. Why am I eating oatmeal for breakfast at lunch time? I don't know... I can't wait to go to the gym and blow off some steam. If I don't get a decent nights sleep tonight I may just go crazy... I had to take a tylenol PM last night in order to catch some zzzz's... My problem is when I'm about to fall asleep I think about life's issues entirely too much. I need to start meditating... hmmmm.. not a bad idea at all. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMPLYRO83 3/23/2009 7:48PM

    I do too.. I'm a Lush fan ( www.lush.com ) so I just bought some lavendar bath soak and some lavendar-vanilla pillow mist from bath and body shop (works like a charm) and hopefully the combination will do the trick. I'll let you know!!

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TXJS10 3/23/2009 6:35PM

    emoticon I hope tonight is a better night for you.

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Rough Start

Saturday, March 21, 2009

I am definitely having a rough start. I'm just tired and a tad bit unmotivated (perhaps lazt would be a good word). I just can't get on the program that I was once on. If the gym isn't convenient for me I just am no good. I will start my work out regimen on Monday seeing as the gym is right there in my workplace and I'd have no excuse whatsoever if I don't go. i even have my gym clothes AT the job so there is definitely NO EXCUSE!!!

Eating will be a bit of a problem for me as i seriously looooove food. i will need to wake up extra early in order to get breakfast right and start the day on a positive note. i just have so much on my plate with the maybe we are together or maybe we are apart thing with my ex, trying to save money for a new apartment during a friggin recession and just a shytload of stress in my life. It doesn't make for a healthy diet at all. Plus I am soooo running low on my books. *siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*.... I'll be okay. It's all part of me creating a healthy new lifestyle. I need to find balance and a way to relieve some of the stress that I live through daily. Any suggestions?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMPLYRO83 3/21/2009 8:35PM

    Thanks. I know it takes a lot of adjustment and getting used to but i just wish I could get my mind into the game. I will make it happen though. Definitely.

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TXJS10 3/21/2009 8:25PM

    emoticon Good Luck to you. It takes some getting used to but you will find the routine that works for you.

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Starting

Friday, March 20, 2009

So today is a new beginning for me. I've lost almost 20 pounds since i decided I was going to get myself health and trim but I hit a brick wall so now it's time to climb my lazy behind up over that wall and make it do what it do...

In doing my meal planning, I feel so hungry just knowing i can't eat all the things I may want to eat... uggghhhh.. So so sad... I'll get on track though because I need to be bikini ready at some point in life.. so let's make it do what it do peoples.. once and for all...

  


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