Friday, August 30, 2013
The other day I was on my way driving to a work conference and I kept thinking to myself that I couldn't wait to get there to eat the greek yogurt I had thrown in my purse and was going to have for breakfast. At that moment I began to praise GOD. I can remember times in my life where, I would stop at some fast food place on the way and get a breakfast value meal and gobble it down in my vehicle and then eat the danishes, donuts or whatever they were offering once I made it to a conference. But no, instead, I was looking forward to my healthier breakfast and not because I was being forced to but purely out of the enjoyment of eating it.
Once I got there and settled in, I realized I had left my name badge. Again, I thought to myself, the old me would have dreaded having to walk and find a bathroom in that big old convention center but I again was struck with some joy. Yes, I parked across the way at a parking lot but that would give me an opportunity to get a little quick walk in. Hallelujah. God is so good and has brought me so far in this journey. Most of you all don't know me but I know me and I know the power of GOD. Without Him allowing the Holy Spirit to strengthen me through this journey, I would still be that old person, loving me unhealthy eating habits and lack of exercise.
My journey is far from over and this last 20 lbs I desire to lose has been WHOA!. I can't catch a streak right now. One thing I do know is that God is still present with me because in His promise he said that he would be with me and that is on this weight loss journey and every journey I face in life. I have to say again. Hallelujah I am not where I should be but thank God I am not where I been!!!!!
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
So I have fallen off the horse and even been dragged a little behind him as he galloped away (have not consistently exercised, eaten well, logged into sparks for over a month now). The horse I am talking about is the one I was riding to a healthier me. LOL
This blog is in no way a "beat myself up" one because I am fine with my decision. It was, in fact, a decision, that I chose to make. I saw myself slipping. I wanted to hold on tighter. I felt myself falling. I wanted wrap the rope tighter. But when I fell, I fell and just laid there. I enjoyed laying there looking up at the sky and all the things that come along with being off the horse.
And don't pretend you don't know what I am talking about. Anyone who has made a decision to stay on the horse knows it's not an easy road. They know that laying on the ground feels good in it's own way. No discipline, no accountability, no deprivation. IT FELT GOOD!!!!
But that high is only a temporary one because as you lay on the ground you start to realize all those other things that are coming along with falling off and staying there laying on the ground. Wow, my back is starting to hurt a little more... it's not as easy for me to rise up some.... that goal that I was moving towards is still in the same spot, not closer.. is that my heartburn coming back... my sugar levels have been more elevated...all those reality things.
Well, I am up (well actually enjoying my last day of laying) mentally because I know what is ahead. I greet it and welcome it and I am ready to get back on the horse. We have a horse ride leaving first thing tomorrow.
The horse ride to a healthier life is not like a ride at the amusement park, six flags or the carnival. It's a ride that never ends. I have been on mine for a while now and have learned so much, enjoyed so much, fallen off so much but I will never say that I am done. All the things that have made this my lifestyle are always there. (thank GOD)... While I lay there on my back looking up at the sky, I know that even in that moment, they are gone but never forgotten #weighthasbeenmaintained.
Friday, July 12, 2013
I have not blogged in a minute and just wanted to touch bases. UGH is the best word to describe the time between my last blog and now. I have been off track in a major way. I have not been excising or tracking and each day I say I am going to do better but haven't.
I went to the Essence Festival for the 4th weekend and my eating was horrible. Continental breakfast by the hotel and then out in the streets of New Orleans. Surprisingly though, the scale said decent numbers.
I have not exercised in over two weeks now. I was doing so well.
I need to make a turn around now before it is to late. Have goals to get to. Pray for me!!
Friday, June 21, 2013
I don't feel no ways tired....
I come to far from where I started from....
Know body told me the road would be easy.
I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me.
I think of the words of this gospel song and I remind myself regularly with those words. I have been on this journey for a long time. I was at my heaviest so many years ago.
Today I was chatting with a friend who is battling a drug addiction and he was telling me how he wants so desperately to change. Although I could not relate to his addiction to drugs, I have battled with my own addiction for the majority of my life. That addiction has been to food, and so, even though I couldn't relate to his addiction directly, I could feel his pain of wanting to progress for the better.
I was looking for a picture the other day of me and my father and started to come across so many pictures of myself that brought back memories. Memories of heavier times, of unhealthier times. I laughed and some pictures, gasped at others and felt a little embarrassed about some too. I also had to smile because although these pictures had not only captured different images of me, they had captured PROGRESS!!
As I talked to my friend, I told him that I knew he wanted to live a different life but that at times it seems hard and out of reach. I know on some of those pictures I felt the same way. But I also told him to never give up and even when he slips, get back up and get back to that which he desires for his life.
Change is never easy but it surely isn't impossible. I am witness to that. Even if you fall off today, tomorrow don't give up. You have to push forward. And as you push forward, it becomes easier. I am doing it. I looked at those pictures and know it can be done. I told my friend, it can be done in his situation too.
Like the words of the song.. I've come to far from where I started from......
Progress. You may not see it when you are looking close up but when you take a step back, boy, what an eye opener!!!!!!
Tuesday, June 04, 2013
My clothes are fitting looser, I am no longer taking insulin and I am closer to my original goal (10 lbs away). Praise GOD!!!! I have not been at this weight since undergrad. I am feeling better and I am feeling healthier. Now does anyone know where they sell the magic pill to get rid of this midsection. LOL.
I got on the scale the other day and was shocked by the number it read. It was a good shock but I wondered if the battery in the thing was going bad. I went to WalMart later that day and made sure I swung by the scale isle. I got on three different scales in there, all with similar results. Yay. It was correct.
I also had on a pair of shorts the other day that were way too small last summer. Not only did they fit comfortably, but they had a little wiggle room.
I am just so thankful for the support I have been given from this site and the people around me. My next task: to keep pushing forward!!
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