Tuesday, July 12, 2011
I won't even get in to how I've already managed to "fail" at my goals for today. Let's just say that whoever came up with that quote, "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions" really knew what they were talking about.
Why do I even bother making goals for myself, if I don't bother following through?!!
I CAN eat within my recommended calorie range. I've done it a few times in the last year and a half. I simply WON'T. Why? Because I am messed up in the head. Because eating is my way of relaxing. It's my way of celebrating. It's my way of comforting myself. It's my way of making myself feel like I have the RIGHT to relax, as in, it's okay if I read for an hour because I'm eating too. It's my way of socializing. And I can't just cut it out of my life or get away from it, because let's face it, we HAVE to eat.
July is almost half over, and I have not lost the weight I gained back in the last few months. Summer is about half over, and we all know how VERY much harder it is to lose weight come late fall when the holidays are here. I must do this now. Now, NOW, NOWWWW!!!!!
Okay, done ranting.
But seriously, I really, really, really need to make myself do what I have to do. I know I can. Somewhere deep inside all my fat is the willpower and the strength to overcome my eating disorder. I WILL succeed. After all, losing weight gives me so much more of a happy high than eating. Even though it's not instant gratification, losing weight is much more rewarding.