Thursday, June 26, 2014
I receive e-mails regularly from a man called Karl Perera on self-esteem and I thought I would share this one with you:
Do you keep comparing yourself to others?
I've done it and I bet you have. Some say it's good because it creates competition and helps you to measure yourself against others. The problem comes when you decide that others are better than you. Then the criticism inside you begins.
Today people always compare themselves with those on TV, on posters in the street and those who they know. If you have a healthy self-esteem you will understand that someone is always better, prettier, slimmer, smarter or whatever than you and that's just fine!
But maybe you compare yourself to others too much and feel bad, maybe tell yourself you are not good enough.
That's not OK.
Comparing yourself puts you under pressure and keeps your self-esteem low. If you think negatively about how you compare to another person you will not be happy with who you are.
So why do you feel you need to compare yourself all the time? Often it comes from our parents and teachers who commented when you were a child that she was more confident or more beautiful and that that boy was smarter. Perhaps your parents wanted to push you to do better or be different.
Comparing yourself to others is a huge waste of time:
"How much time he gains who does not look to see what his neighbour says or does or thinks, but only at what he does himself, to make it just and holy."
- Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
"Comparison is the death of joy."
- Mark Twain
Instead of comparing yourself you should learn to celebrate and understand that being different is a blessing. You have unique abilities and no one else is exactly the same as you.
"Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be Unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud.
- Shannon L. Alder
While I grew up my parents compared me to everyone, my grandmother compared me to my cousin in Germany (and she compared her to me, and to this day we still dislike each other). I still compare myself to other and come up lacking. This trait of my character sometimes tends to drive my hubby nuts and he doesn't understand why I do it, neither do I, I guess...
I hope this article can help others like me...
from me to you!!!!
Have a beautiful day!!