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Self -esteem

Thursday, June 26, 2014

I receive e-mails regularly from a man called Karl Perera on self-esteem and I thought I would share this one with you:

Do you keep comparing yourself to others?

I've done it and I bet you have. Some say it's good because it creates competition and helps you to measure yourself against others. The problem comes when you decide that others are better than you. Then the criticism inside you begins.

Today people always compare themselves with those on TV, on posters in the street and those who they know. If you have a healthy self-esteem you will understand that someone is always better, prettier, slimmer, smarter or whatever than you and that's just fine!

But maybe you compare yourself to others too much and feel bad, maybe tell yourself you are not good enough.

That's not OK.

Comparing yourself puts you under pressure and keeps your self-esteem low. If you think negatively about how you compare to another person you will not be happy with who you are.

So why do you feel you need to compare yourself all the time? Often it comes from our parents and teachers who commented when you were a child that she was more confident or more beautiful and that that boy was smarter. Perhaps your parents wanted to push you to do better or be different.

Comparing yourself to others is a huge waste of time:

"How much time he gains who does not look to see what his neighbour says or does or thinks, but only at what he does himself, to make it just and holy."
- Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

"Comparison is the death of joy."
- Mark Twain

Instead of comparing yourself you should learn to celebrate and understand that being different is a blessing. You have unique abilities and no one else is exactly the same as you.

"Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be Unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud.
- Shannon L. Alder

Karl Perera

While I grew up my parents compared me to everyone, my grandmother compared me to my cousin in Germany (and she compared her to me, and to this day we still dislike each other). I still compare myself to other and come up lacking. This trait of my character sometimes tends to drive my hubby nuts and he doesn't understand why I do it, neither do I, I guess...

I hope this article can help others like me...

emoticon from me to you!!!!

Have a beautiful day!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LEANJEAN6 7/10/2014 7:39PM

    I dunno------just being yourself is all you can do--Sometimes I wish everybody could like me---but --that's not the real world------Life can be tough sometimes---You just have to keep yer head up and plough through-----LOL--Hugs-Lynda

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MAVERICKDR 6/26/2014 5:47PM

    Very often I think of the concept you have shared. How destructive is the comparison thing? If I think too highly of myself, I am puffed up, and humility needs to be invoked QUICK...LY. If I compare myself to another and think I'm lacking, that takes me down to a place I don't want to be either.

It's a practice I've developed, hard earned, to remind myself that I am in a competition of one...me, with no one else. I do not look at the leader boards on SparkPeople for that very reason. I'm not in this for the fame (none), glory (none) or any other thing. But the inspiration gained from virtual friends and their determination are worth the effort. Be blessed!
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GORDON66 6/26/2014 3:09PM

  Thanks for sharing. Not so very long ago, I was in the gym pedaling on a recumbent bike directly behind a young woman using an elliptical. Her shorts barely covered her tush, and I was convinced that one of my thighs was the same circumference as her hips. I looked down at my lap and thought "what the hell am I doing here?" I was already in a funk, and my need to compare myself to others was not helping. To me, it didn't matter that I'm probably forty years older than the other member, because I'd been comparing myself to others my entire life. All I ever wanted was to be like everyone else. It often felt like it was my mother's mission in life to fix in me what she had screwed up. Self-esteem - what's that?

Oh, my, this blog has touched on some very tender nerves. Mark Twain is right, and I intend to remember his words.

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TERRACOTTAGE 6/26/2014 2:23PM

    It starts in school, when we have that need to fit in, wear the same clothes, listen to the right kind of music...etc. Otherwise you are fodder for the bullies. I was lucky to be bigger-stronger than most kids my age. I was always the protector out there, but that didn't stop me from comparing myself to the other, daintier, smaller girls. Luckily, I was perfect for most sports and got my self esteem from helping my teams do better.
Girls need to learn at a young age, exactly what you're saying here. "You are you... you are enough." Thanks for giving us this reminder that we are enough. emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 6/26/2014 2:27:21 PM

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IMUSTLOSEIT1 6/26/2014 2:10PM

    I will have to think a bit about this blog, I know I am always comparing myself to others, maybe that is my problem. I am so use to not measuring up that I sabotage myself. Heaven forbid I actually reach a goal, then I might be expected to reach another one. Food for thought. THANK YOU, you may have found my problem.

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Life

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

You fall, you rise, you make mistakes.
You live, you learn, you're human, not perfect.
You've been hurt, but you're alive.
Think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive -
to breath, to think, to enjoy, and to chase the
things you love.
Sometimes there is sadness in our journey,
but there is also lot's of beauty.
We must keep putting one foot in front of the other
even when we hurt, for we will never know what
is waiting for us just around the bend.

Anonymous


emoticon From me to you!!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOSER05 6/27/2014 6:29PM

    emoticon

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ALEXSGIRL1 6/22/2014 12:06PM

    love this sorry I missed it until now have a great week

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WOOLRIPPER 6/21/2014 10:21AM

    Thank you for sharing, emoticon

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TERRACOTTAGE 6/19/2014 10:37AM

    This is very good... life has it's ups and downs... lets be thankful for the ups... and learn from the downs. emoticon emoticon

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GORDON66 6/18/2014 10:09PM

  emoticon emoticon back at you!!!

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IMUSTLOSEIT1 6/18/2014 8:57PM

    That tells my story like it was written for me.

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ROX525 6/18/2014 6:18PM

    Amen to this.


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SEASONS_CHANGE_ 6/18/2014 6:18PM

    I love this. Thanks for posting!

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SIEGRID 6/18/2014 6:03PM

    Beautiful modification!!!

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FROMNSIDE 6/18/2014 5:45PM

    i modified the poem, to make sense to ME.

you make mistakes.
You've been hurt, but you're alive.
Think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive -
to think, and to chase the things you love.
Sometimes there is sadness in our journey,
We must keep putting one foot in front of the other
even when we hurt, for we will never know what
is waiting for us just around the bend.

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For you!!!!!!

Monday, June 16, 2014







emoticon From me to you!!!!!!!

SWEET DREAMS!!!!!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAVERICKDR 6/18/2014 7:29PM

    Thank you!

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TERRACOTTAGE 6/17/2014 9:19AM

    These are keepers... emoticon emoticon

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IMUSTLOSEIT1 6/17/2014 9:16AM

    Thanks for the quotes, but I loved the deer.

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GORDON66 6/17/2014 8:27AM

  Terrific!!! Thanks for sharing!!!
emoticon

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MAW_OH 6/17/2014 12:14AM

    emoticon

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ALICIA214 6/17/2014 12:07AM

 


Lovely... Thank you..

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GRANJERRY1 6/17/2014 12:02AM

    How encouraging!!! Beautiful...God Bless you

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FLUTTERFLI 6/16/2014 11:50PM

    DITTO !!! ; }

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emoticon emoticon

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Inspired from a friend!

Saturday, June 14, 2014

This blog was inspired from reading GORDON66 blog!!
For you Leslie!! (and all who apply, like ME emoticon )





SWEET DREAMS!!!!

emoticon From me to you!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOSER05 6/27/2014 6:30PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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IMUSTLOSEIT1 6/15/2014 1:52PM

    That's me, I don't want to grow old gracefully, I want to fight it all the way.

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TERRACOTTAGE 6/14/2014 10:35PM

    We are all kids at heart... emoticon emoticon

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GORDON66 6/14/2014 9:48PM

  Luv ya, and right back at you with the hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WOOLRIPPER 6/14/2014 9:21PM

    Love it. emoticon

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Today's encouragement!!!

Saturday, June 07, 2014






and my horsey pick for today!!!!


Sweet Dreams!!
emoticon From me to you!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YZDIET 6/11/2014 7:53PM

    Loved the photos and the message within them
and look at that horse....gosh....

Evening Hugs Yvonne
be careful out there in your car ...that must have been
awful with that accident you had to live thru....

EVening hugs Yvonne emoticon emoticon

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LEANJEAN6 6/10/2014 7:48PM

    I think I would love your dog Shadow too--*S* Lynda

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IMUSTLOSEIT1 6/9/2014 8:02PM

    of course I love the horse photo. But I do like the quotes, they speak to me.

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LEANJEAN6 6/9/2014 7:10PM

    Thanks for reading the ol' blog!-----I love your horses----and hanging your wash outside!---Hugs, Lynda

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WOOLRIPPER 6/8/2014 2:06PM

    Sweet!

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LOSER05 6/8/2014 8:17AM

    emoticon

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TERRACOTTAGE 6/7/2014 10:41PM

    OMG I just love that mare with her foal... emoticon

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GORDON66 6/7/2014 9:42PM

  The David L. Hill quote is epic.

emoticon back at you!

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