Tuesday, October 07, 2008
As I near my 34th birthday, I've realized that this is the first time in my life that I have felt my age. And I do mean *felt* my age - my knees ache, my back is always a bit sore in the morning, and what the heck happened to my energy? I've been overweight most of my life, but I've always felt healthy. My many past dieting attempts have been, in hindsight, rather half-hearted. I told myself that even if I was a little heavy, I could still participate. Look everyone! I can keep up with the skinny people! I'm not really that fat, right? I can't tell myself that anymore. It's nowhere close to the truth. A couple of friends and I went to a state park on one of the last beautiful days of the season, and decided to walk on one of the small trails (which also included stairs). That trail kicked my behind. I was completely exhausted, my leg muscles were screaming, and my breathing - good grief! A little old woman (70-ish?) went trotting past me with barely any effort. My friends were sweet, stopping often to rest and commenting on what a hot day it was and, gee, weren't those stairs steep (even though all of them put together weren't as red-faced and sweaty as I was). So, this was my reality check. I am not healthy. This is hurting me and my life and it needs to stop. Now. So, over the last few weeks, I've cut my calories & upped my exercise and have been rewarded by my seeing my scale drop a few pounds (Yippee!!). I'm still trying to work past those occasional twinges of depression, where I think "What are you doing? How could let yourself get like this??". As I see my stamina quickly climb, it's getting easier and easier to keep my chin up.
This is my first post on my sparkpage, and, since I'm not much of a blogger, it might be the last. So, I'm posting this as a reminder to myself in the weeks and months to come. I also like to think of it as a message from "Inner Me" to "Outer Me". The message is......Get off your butt, girl!!! It's never going to be any easier than it is right now. You'll thank yourself (and so will your knees). And most importantly, be patient. These pounds didn't move in overnight, and you're not going ditch them overnight either. Keep moving and before you know it, the "you" that you see in your head will be the "you" that you see in mirror. See you soon!!!