Tuesday, December 27, 2011
So I had an interesting Christmas. In short, my mom was her usual up and down self, my dad was crabby, and I ate way too much.
I went home on Thursday afternoon and managed to reconnect with one of my really good friends and her wife. We had a freezing good time at Wild Lights at the Zoo and we got to talking about some things. Basically all of my friends want to know what the heck is happening with online dating. These two were kind of on the fence about OKCupid since its free, and when I learned how many of my friends had met on eHarmony (like 4 couples out of my distant friends), they kind of talked me into joining eHarmony to meet different more professional/adult men and weeding out some of the creepers common on OKCupid. We went to Starbucks to warm up after the zoo to chat. I hadn't even been gone from my parents house for 3 hours and I got a call from my Mom asking me to come home and take care of my dogs. I'm 26, I don't need a curfew, and honestly my dogs are fine, and my dad would have taken them out. I went home sooner than I planned, and my mom was still up watching TV. There was absolutely no reason I needed to be there. Ugh. Seriously?
Then the next day I went to Josephine's Tea Room in Alton with my mom. She had very specifically demanded that we go. So I went. I put up with random browsing/shopping (which I hate), tried to eat sensibly, and tried to make my mom happy... And then my mom got sick. She had a cold, but she was so determined to go to Tea that we went out. I ended up spending the afternoon taking care of her and doing some laundry/cleaning around the house. I also went out with other friends that night for dinner, and ate too much cheese. I've been avoiding it since I'm lactose intolerant, but at Peel its a necessary evil, and needless to say that got me more focused on what I was eating.
I got up early the next day to workout before people started invading on Christmas eve. My mom yelled at me for wasting time and not helping. Seriously. I was screamed at while working out by the person I had just taken care of the day before. I just ignored her and kept going on. I really didn't feel like wrapping bacon around little smokies I wasn't planning on eating. Its gross, they're unhealthy, and as much as she says she wants to lose weight, she's reeeeally not working on it. She causes me a lot of stress, so I'm trying to ignore her rants and outbursts. (my mom's certifiably crazy, btw)
Then we had a family Christmas Eve. I had a bunch of unhealthy pushed on me, and I was pretty strict about what I ate that night, and had to ignore a few comments about how no one should be on a diet at Christmas. My grandma asked me if I weighed 139 pounds. Very specific, and very off... but I let it go since she's 92. You can really tell this year that her short term memory is gone. I heard the same story like clockwork every five minutes for 40 minutes and then next day another story for a half an hour every 3 minutes...
Since we were having people over on Christmas for bruch we opened our presents that night. My mom gave me a bunch of Fannie May candy. I tried to give it right back to her, and her response was: "What are you trying to make me fat?" and not even two seconds later I responded with, "Well are YOU trying to make me fat?" It was a little awkward and I ended up giving it to my sister.
Christmas day was uneventful. My grandma pissed off my dad by telling him that the only years of her life were the ones where she didn't have a husband or kids to take care of.... he took big offense to that since she probably repeated it every 5 minutes for the hour and a half it took for him to help get her ready out of her assisted living facility to bring her over for Christmas brunch. So he was pretty crabby all day.
I went to see the Muppets again with my Mom and Sister. Its good, but I don't think I needed to see it twice. If you love the Muppets, you'll love the movie though.
Yesterday my good friend drove down to St. Louis with her BF and we went shopping. Her BF is a tool, and arrogant, and bad with his money... but she likes him so I don't say much since she doesn't have anyone to complain about him to, we talk a lot about it. It was a pretty good day except for the beginning. My mom woke me up around 8am SCREAMING at me about "How dare you post a picture of me and put it on Facebook!!!" But a lot louder, and more annoying than you can imagine. What picture you ask? A side view of her Wii bowling in her pajamas. There was nothing bad about it. It wasn't embarrassing. She just flipped her lid over it though. So I was packing and getting ready to leave while they were gone at breakfast, but my friend called and I spent the day with her instead. My mom was still super pissy after I got home... and today she's still pissy, but I just got out of there.
I would have made it back home earlier if the snow hadn't caused so many accidents on 70, but now I'm home and I can relax. And get back on my treadmill. I don't know how much this Christmas has caused me weight wise, but I'm trying to be positive about it and get moving tonight!
Friday, December 23, 2011
I hope everyone's having a good holidays, and not overindulging. There is food everywhere at my parents house. I convinced my mom not to bake anymore cookies, but who knows, if she wasn't sick there would probably be 12 kinds of cookies instead of just four.
I'm in a weird place. The scale is going up, but I feel great, healthy, happy. Its just the stupid scale doesn't realize that. I was getting annoyed at myself trying to figure out what was wrong. Then I tried on some new jeans, and lo and behold, I can fit into a size 12 at the GAP. So the scale is going in one direction while my waist is going another.
So for now I guess I'll just keep doing what I'm doing, try to watch my food intake during the next few days, and hopefully I won't go home to an even worse weigh-in.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Yikes... I added the timeline feature to my Facebook earlier this week... I just really haven't looked back at the last six years of photos, and all of the undergrad parties in a loooong time. If you look at this year, compared to the last 5, you can really tell I've made a change for the better.
So tonight, when I'm tired and grumpy and thinking about not working out -- a quick glance at my Timeline reminds me to get my butt moving to make the pictures from 2012 look even better!
Friday, December 16, 2011
Its that time of the year... lots of food and sweets and cooooookies. I usually will make 6-14 different types of cookies each year (depending on how crazy I am). But this year, I haven't made any. I stopped bringing in sweets to work, except for times when I didn't finish my projects and I needed to distract my boss. So now in a week I'll be heading home for the holidays. Last year I made cookies and took them home, and they were all devoured. But now with my mom and sister both complaining about their weight, should I not bring the temptations? I know I am going to delay making my biscotti until right before I go home (My dad loves it, and he doesn't care about his weight since he's a cancer survivor). I know I would really like some ninjabread cookies (gingerbread ninjas--what's not to like?), but if I make them, I will eat them. So for now I'm going to nix making any cookies that I know will be too much of a temptation. The stress of family time and the availability of cookies is a dangerous combination.
My mom has been really depressed lately. She wants me to come home for another week. I really don't want to, but I could if I had to (being a grad student has its perks sometimes, rarely, but sometimes). I've compromised to come be home the 22-26th and then the 30-1st... But she's acting like I'm abandoning her even though I only live 2 hours away. And now my unhappy overweight sister just quit her job, and she might some stay with me again. The last time she lived with me, I had lost 20-30 lbs on my own, and gained it all back when she moved in... She's not a good diet influence. So now I just have to try and be selfish. I read an article in SELF that explained only the selfish can truly ever maintain a weight loss. You can be compassionate and empathetic, but when it interferes with your diet and lifestyle its okay to be selfish. So the last time my mom and sister visited, I didn't buy any "goodies" for them to enjoy at my house. They had to subsist off of what I had in the house, and they complained, but I didn't let it phase me. And they brought/bought enough bad food that they went way off the deep end, while I tried to play it conservative (I had this story in an earlier blog).
So with all of that stress at home, now I've got work stress. My boss took the surly, obnoxious, offensive, rude, crass, (okay thesaurus, you guys get the point) girl into our lab. She's been in six labs in less than 3 semesters. She doesn't get along with people, doesn't understand emotions, and even when you try to help her she gets all defensive and rude and will basically call you stupid if you ask her too many questions she doesn't know how to answer. She's offended me several times, called highly respected scientists idiots, and crossed many a line. I told my boss not to take her, my other lab mates told my boss not to take her, but he did anyway... and I have reached my breaking point with her. I know I should just use this fury to fuel my ambition to graduate, but I honestly just can't stand to be in the same room with her. I've bitten my tongue for the last three months, but if she keeps it up she's going to get a verbal tongue lashing from me. I think she's a highly functioning Asperger. She's clearly not happy ever, and she's a size 24. This is where it gets awkward. She wears spandex leggings... and short shirts that don't cover every bulge. I'm all for wearing whatever you like, but there comes a point where I just want to take her aside and style her. I've been there, I used to buy 22/24 shirts at Lane Bryant. So I know how hard it is to dress nicely, but she always looks grumpy, greasy, and messy. She doesn't care about her appearance and very clearly doesn't care about her personality, but some of the other girls in the department have been commenting on her appearance since its gotten progressively worse. The girl actually thinks she's being discriminated against for being native american. She's like 1/4 n.a. and way paler than I am (I'm a 1/16) -- and no one would ever know it by looks. We've tried to help her and explain better ways to address people and how to dress. But now that she's around me all the time, I'm way less inclined to help her anymore. So I'm going to be hands off, let her drown in the lab, since all of my help has been rebuffed so far.
*ugh* so that is why I've been a little absent from Spark lately. I didn't even throw myself much of a whoo hoo party when I reached Onederland. I just wasn't as excited as I thought I would be... mainly because I know this is just a stop on my journey (and also because I constantly reward myself :-), I'm wearing new clothes from New York and Company. I've never shopped there before last week. Its kind of exciting.)
So this work week is finally over. I had one creepy date last weekend where the guy actually wanted me to log on to the dating website on my phone so he could see my inbox messages, uh no! and kept asking for my last name. I'm literally the only one with my last name currently living in missouri, so I declined... which made him get more creepy, and demanding and I got out of there. Also, who the hell goes to a chinese buffet for a first date? Then the lawyer never got back to me with a final time for our date, and its been a week since his last message, so that is obviously going nowhere. And add to that about 1 or 2 messages from guys either married and looking for some strange, guys who can't use proper english, or even creepier messages, I'm not feeling that great about OkCupid anymore.
But on the plus side this week, I did some great shopping at New York and Company, I managed to get some stuff I needed off ebay for cheap, and I'm still in Onederland. So as long as I manage to ride through this stress wave of the holidays -- I'm going to be well on my way in 2012. Now time to go read through the last month of Spark e-mails I've been avoiding...
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Just call me Alice... 'cause I'm in ONEderland!
I made it there yesterday, but I just wanted to confirm it again today on the scale before i declared my onederland status. It was great to see a 1XX on the scale today... I haven't seen that since 8th grade. (eep!)
So now I just have to think up some new goals -- this was my major goal for 2011. And I reached it with 2 weeks to spare.
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