Friday, December 23, 2011
I hope everyone's having a good holidays, and not overindulging. There is food everywhere at my parents house. I convinced my mom not to bake anymore cookies, but who knows, if she wasn't sick there would probably be 12 kinds of cookies instead of just four.
I'm in a weird place. The scale is going up, but I feel great, healthy, happy. Its just the stupid scale doesn't realize that. I was getting annoyed at myself trying to figure out what was wrong. Then I tried on some new jeans, and lo and behold, I can fit into a size 12 at the GAP. So the scale is going in one direction while my waist is going another.
So for now I guess I'll just keep doing what I'm doing, try to watch my food intake during the next few days, and hopefully I won't go home to an even worse weigh-in.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Yikes... I added the timeline feature to my Facebook earlier this week... I just really haven't looked back at the last six years of photos, and all of the undergrad parties in a loooong time. If you look at this year, compared to the last 5, you can really tell I've made a change for the better.
So tonight, when I'm tired and grumpy and thinking about not working out -- a quick glance at my Timeline reminds me to get my butt moving to make the pictures from 2012 look even better!
Friday, December 16, 2011
Its that time of the year... lots of food and sweets and cooooookies. I usually will make 6-14 different types of cookies each year (depending on how crazy I am). But this year, I haven't made any. I stopped bringing in sweets to work, except for times when I didn't finish my projects and I needed to distract my boss. So now in a week I'll be heading home for the holidays. Last year I made cookies and took them home, and they were all devoured. But now with my mom and sister both complaining about their weight, should I not bring the temptations? I know I am going to delay making my biscotti until right before I go home (My dad loves it, and he doesn't care about his weight since he's a cancer survivor). I know I would really like some ninjabread cookies (gingerbread ninjas--what's not to like?), but if I make them, I will eat them. So for now I'm going to nix making any cookies that I know will be too much of a temptation. The stress of family time and the availability of cookies is a dangerous combination.
My mom has been really depressed lately. She wants me to come home for another week. I really don't want to, but I could if I had to (being a grad student has its perks sometimes, rarely, but sometimes). I've compromised to come be home the 22-26th and then the 30-1st... But she's acting like I'm abandoning her even though I only live 2 hours away. And now my unhappy overweight sister just quit her job, and she might some stay with me again. The last time she lived with me, I had lost 20-30 lbs on my own, and gained it all back when she moved in... She's not a good diet influence. So now I just have to try and be selfish. I read an article in SELF that explained only the selfish can truly ever maintain a weight loss. You can be compassionate and empathetic, but when it interferes with your diet and lifestyle its okay to be selfish. So the last time my mom and sister visited, I didn't buy any "goodies" for them to enjoy at my house. They had to subsist off of what I had in the house, and they complained, but I didn't let it phase me. And they brought/bought enough bad food that they went way off the deep end, while I tried to play it conservative (I had this story in an earlier blog).
So with all of that stress at home, now I've got work stress. My boss took the surly, obnoxious, offensive, rude, crass, (okay thesaurus, you guys get the point) girl into our lab. She's been in six labs in less than 3 semesters. She doesn't get along with people, doesn't understand emotions, and even when you try to help her she gets all defensive and rude and will basically call you stupid if you ask her too many questions she doesn't know how to answer. She's offended me several times, called highly respected scientists idiots, and crossed many a line. I told my boss not to take her, my other lab mates told my boss not to take her, but he did anyway... and I have reached my breaking point with her. I know I should just use this fury to fuel my ambition to graduate, but I honestly just can't stand to be in the same room with her. I've bitten my tongue for the last three months, but if she keeps it up she's going to get a verbal tongue lashing from me. I think she's a highly functioning Asperger. She's clearly not happy ever, and she's a size 24. This is where it gets awkward. She wears spandex leggings... and short shirts that don't cover every bulge. I'm all for wearing whatever you like, but there comes a point where I just want to take her aside and style her. I've been there, I used to buy 22/24 shirts at Lane Bryant. So I know how hard it is to dress nicely, but she always looks grumpy, greasy, and messy. She doesn't care about her appearance and very clearly doesn't care about her personality, but some of the other girls in the department have been commenting on her appearance since its gotten progressively worse. The girl actually thinks she's being discriminated against for being native american. She's like 1/4 n.a. and way paler than I am (I'm a 1/16) -- and no one would ever know it by looks. We've tried to help her and explain better ways to address people and how to dress. But now that she's around me all the time, I'm way less inclined to help her anymore. So I'm going to be hands off, let her drown in the lab, since all of my help has been rebuffed so far.
*ugh* so that is why I've been a little absent from Spark lately. I didn't even throw myself much of a whoo hoo party when I reached Onederland. I just wasn't as excited as I thought I would be... mainly because I know this is just a stop on my journey (and also because I constantly reward myself :-), I'm wearing new clothes from New York and Company. I've never shopped there before last week. Its kind of exciting.)
So this work week is finally over. I had one creepy date last weekend where the guy actually wanted me to log on to the dating website on my phone so he could see my inbox messages, uh no! and kept asking for my last name. I'm literally the only one with my last name currently living in missouri, so I declined... which made him get more creepy, and demanding and I got out of there. Also, who the hell goes to a chinese buffet for a first date? Then the lawyer never got back to me with a final time for our date, and its been a week since his last message, so that is obviously going nowhere. And add to that about 1 or 2 messages from guys either married and looking for some strange, guys who can't use proper english, or even creepier messages, I'm not feeling that great about OkCupid anymore.
But on the plus side this week, I did some great shopping at New York and Company, I managed to get some stuff I needed off ebay for cheap, and I'm still in Onederland. So as long as I manage to ride through this stress wave of the holidays -- I'm going to be well on my way in 2012. Now time to go read through the last month of Spark e-mails I've been avoiding...
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Just call me Alice... 'cause I'm in ONEderland!
I made it there yesterday, but I just wanted to confirm it again today on the scale before i declared my onederland status. It was great to see a 1XX on the scale today... I haven't seen that since 8th grade. (eep!)
So now I just have to think up some new goals -- this was my major goal for 2011. And I reached it with 2 weeks to spare.
Friday, December 09, 2011
This was forwarded to me by my mom, and I thought I'd share it on here:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books than you did in 2011.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minute walk daily. And while you walk, smile.
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't overdo it. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree....
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change...
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come..
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
Last but not the least:
40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about, I just did.
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