Wednesday, July 03, 2013
Since I canít sleep Ė I might as well blog, right? Iíll just post this in the morning...
Iím playing the waiting game. I went for my second interview on Monday. I donít know how it went. I like it. I want to work there... I just... donít know. I donít know if I sounded smart. Asked enough questions... made it seem like I really wanted to work there... its just weird. I donít know if I messed it up. So instead of worrying about it = I just did my nails. Thatís what I usually do.
On Tuesday (today for me) Ė I was able to meet up with TJ for lunch since he was over on my side of the river to audit a pharmacy. That was nice Ė we usually donít get to see each other during the week unless weíre going to a wedding (seriously). Then I stocked up on healthy groceries. I made a GIANT salad full of veggies. I think thatís part of my problem = not buying the healthy stuff and then eating whatever is around in my parents house. This is a horrible, horrible habit. I need to get myself down to the farm stands now that its summer.
Anyway after lunch TJ got some good news. St. Charles, MO has just gotten its very own CHL (minor league professional hockey) team. Its brand spanking new Ė and they are having an open tryout in late August. I donít know if I mentioned it, but TJ is a retired goalie. He didnít play in college, and would have probably played at Wisconsin, but he decided to enlist in the Navy instead. One very unlucky injury later he had to medically discharge from the Navy and they basically wonít let him back in even though heís tried Ė heís had too many injuries and concussions.
So back to the hockey thing Ė this is basically the one thing that TJ has wanted to do his entire life, so the thought of possibly playing professional hockey at ALL for any team makes him ridiculously excited. And I know how much he loves it and wants to go for it, so Iím supporting him 100%.... but weíre both outta shape. Heís got less than two months to lose a belly and get his flexibility and stamina back up to par to give a good showing at the tryout.
Heís so focused on this that heís going to hit it hard. Today he worked on his food plan and reorganized his parents basement (yep Ė living at home to save $$ like me) to get his weights back in order. He even hung up motivational hockey posters. Then he went to bed three hours before he normally does, so that he can get up before work and lift.
Iím kind of sitting back flabbergasted at just how motivated he has become so quickly. We both have gained weight since we started dating. I fell into a bad trap of wanting to please him and cook him delicious food while recovering from my surgery. But that is no longer an excuse. He even told me heís going to go back to a no-beer/drinking policy until after the tryouts. No excess carbs. Heís going to do lean chicken and pork with brown rice and corn (did I mention he doesnít eat veggeies?) Ė and do a sh*t ton of cardio in addition to lifting.
I am 100% supporting this boy. If it takes 2 months for him to have a shot at his dream Ė why not try? I already told him if they took him on as a goalie, that Iíd support his decision to leave his current job Ė even if it was a significant pay cut. Iíve been thinking about this all day. No matter what happens this will be good for him. He can meet hockey guys in StL that heís been wanting to get connected to, so even if he doesnít make this team, he can find a club team he likes in the area.
Out of all of the positives, I am just wondering what its going to be like to see him drop a lot of weight and gain muscle so quickly, when I know I wonít be able to do the same. So for the ladies on here who have watched their SOs lose weight rapidly while you struggle, is there anything I need to watch out for? Any coping stuff? Iím just trying to stay positive and think about the hot hockey boyfriend Iím getting out of this deal.
Also, this will mean more activities outside. Heís been a lazybones, not wanting to go on walks or anything Ė and suddenly its all *cardio, cardio, cardio!* He told me we might not spend as much time together if heís at the gym Ė and I called BS Ė I said Iíd be there with him. So weíll see. Iím optimistic that this will have at least given TJ the shot in the arm he needed to be motivated to get back in shape. Ditto for me. I tried on a few pairs of my conference/dress pants... and they didnít quite fit in the thighs. I need to get my treadmill hooked up in my garage so that I can train Ė come 80+ humid weather or not and sweat like a mo-fo out in that garage at a 5-10% incline. My legs are in shambles. Its almost shocking to see how far out of shape I really have become.
My arms are currently sore from my lifting tonight. My abs are sore from crunches.... and my brain is sore from overthinking things. Itís a common thing I do. I also will not be bugging my boy about a ring anytime soon. That has just fallen down his priority list right now. He was planning on going up to the family jeweler with his mother to broker the ďfamily discountĒ on my ring... but Iím going to take a leap and say that heís not going to do it until AFTER August 25th now.
Oh well Ė I am happy for him. Legit happy. I honestly hope he gets it, and if he doesnít weíll both be going to games at the Family Area since its about 5 minutes from his house. *Fingers still crossed on good job news...*
Everyone have a happy and healthy 4th!
I weighed in. HOLY F*CKING SH*T. Sorry for the cursing but I weigh 199. FML. Seriously hitting this hardcore now.
Slightly depressing. 15# gain! What the heck!
Monday, June 17, 2013
Okay Ė so I just checked my last blog update. I was going to work out more. Possibly join a gym. ...and then I got a few phone calls.
Last Saturday I ended up at Shakespeare in the Park in St. Louis (its really great this year Ė go see it if you can!) with some friends. My friend Erin brought one of her friends Nikki to the show. Nikki casually mentioned that they were looking for post-docs in the lab she works in at WashU. I look the guy up, he looks interesting, stem cells, colon diseases.... so I send him my CV. Then I start looking on Pubmed at his publication record and about sh*t a brick. In the last two years he has published multiple times in Science, Nature, and Cell. *jaw on floor* -- and he wants to meet with me!!!!!!
So that was ridiculously exciting. As I am eating lunch and reading his Science paper, I got another phone call on Wednesday. The first lab I talked with ALSO at WashU finally has a position open and they want me to take it and start on July 1st! So no matter what I probably have a job. *wipes sweat off brow* AND it would be as WashU which is an amazing institution and in St. Louis and near my family and boyfriend and exactly where I wanted to be.
BUT I already had an interview with the stem cell guy set up for Friday, and so I set up another meeting with the lab that offered me the job in reproduction endocrinology (working on non-hormonal birth control). As a cancer person, stem cells would be better than trying to prevent pregnancies, but a job is a job and the researcher in charge of that lab is amazing.
Fast forward to Friday. Iím freaking out. I meet with the stem cell guy, and he seems really smart and really interesting. I think I put on a good face. It was a quick meeting, but he is going to call my PI (aka, my boss) and talk to him. Then I would be asked (if heís interested) to come back and give a talk to his lab so they can hear more about my research and then kind of hear how I talk and how well I can explain myself. He also mentioned... ďyea if you came here youíd probably be on the project that was just published in Science working with the Broad Institute at Harvard.Ē I tried not to freak the f*ck out to badly and seem too ridiculously excited or drool!
I was a little late for my second meeting with the reproduction lab. I originally was talking to them about doing a prostate cancer project working with high-fat diet fed mothers... but there wasnít money right now. So to get into the lab I would be doing the reproduction endocrinology project on an NIH T32 training grant (for the scientists out there) and then applying for more traditional post-doc funding as it came available. I had to tell her that I couldnít accept right away, because I was talking to the other lab. As soon as I said that it went from me talking with her, to her trying to convince ME to work for her! I met with all the lab members, talked about projects, and was there for two hours! It was a crazy day for sure.
That was last Friday. I was so freaking excited I didnít know what to do with myself. I never in a million years (especially after the last six months of job hunting) even think it would be a possibility to work on a Science/Nature-level project doing a post-doc at a top institution. I know we all feel like shams and that we arenít very good at our jobs as women especially Ė I even read an article on this today: side note for my ladies in science : www.insidehighered.com//blogs/univer
drome But to possibly have the opportunity to work in the stem cell lab could help make my future career! Its just so exciting, so Iím taking a risk and not accepting the endocrinology position right now Ė just to see if I could get in the stem cell lab.
Then to top off the good weekend I spent Friday night over at Erin/Keithís house playing cards with a bunch of their friends. Then spent Saturday running errands with TJ and had a game night at my house with my sisters from another mister and their partners. And Sunday slept in and made some awesome minecraft magnets for a gift. It was a good weekend.
Now today Iím still in StL, my parents are in CA for a funeral so Iím holding down the fort and watching five dogs. Iím trying to clean up the house before my parents get back. Play with the puppies, catch up on work, catch up on Spark, probably give all the dogs a bath, do a bunch of laundry, unpack some more of my stuff, and try to reorganize stuff in the garage and the attic.... oh yea, and the lawyer apparently wants to meet this week to go over the discrimination lawsuit Iím a part of (as one of the discriminators.... against someone who is a) obviously not being discriminated against and b) has a mental problem where I think she is delusional and actually believes that this stuff all happened to her and c) is suing as a 1/16 native American female for discrimination against 3 females... one of whom is also 1/16 native American (me!) So thereís that drama that is just so ridiculous I canít even begin to waste energy on it.
Tuesday night Iím heading to the Cubs/Cards game at Busch with TJ. Then Thursday we drive up to Wisconsin for ANOTHER WEDDING! Seriously. Itís a Friday wedding and TJ is in it, so we have to leave Thursday and Friday. Weíre gonna be cheap and come home on Saturday to avoid another hotel bill. Its just a lot of traveling and money that TJ didnít want to spend. Plus its taking money out of my shiny budget (aka a ring I might wear on my left hand ;-) )
So thatís that. Iím trying to eat better. Thank god for summer! Grilling healthy meats outside (yum chicken and pork chops on the grill!), lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, and sunshine. I feel like I do so much better in the summertime. I literally spent $20 on fruit and Iím going to stuff my face with watermelon later. I managed to get 2 of the 3 or maybe 4 small kidney stones out, but this last one needs to get out ASAP. Its starting to annoy the crap outta me because Iím drinking so much and have been for two weeks now. Oh well. Cíest la vie. Iíve been to busy to care too much.
The one thing I donít miss about StL summers though Ė the humidity today is ridiculous. 90% humidity and its not raining and its in the upper 80s. *die*
Thursday, June 06, 2013
I've been eating bad lately... and as a result my belly is back. I'm talking super jiggly, tire around the middle belly. AND I HATE IT. Seriously. What the heck have I been doing? Answer: eating like crap and not working out.
Solution: start eating healthy and working out.
SO I'm going to get back on the old wagon and get moving. And I'll shut up and wear my Spanx until then. The hardest part right now is telling myself 'no.' I somehow have justified bad eating habits. I know I am excuse-o-rama right now with graduating, moving, living out of a suitcase, blah blah blah. I'm calling bullish*t on myself.
Yes it is easier to diet and exercise in your own place, but its not impossible to do it without one. I can still try and walk to lunch and get some movement. I can still do crunches, lift weights, squats, planks, etc at the house I'm staying at... I can still stop buying chocolate (and ignore shark week cravings). I can still tell people that, 'no, I do not want that delicious free pizza you're offering me' (well, this one has been hard!!!)
Basically I hate my belly. My belly is a direct result of my eating and exercising... or lack thereof. Mission ban the belly has begun. I use to do 5000 crunches (in like 10 different positions) when I was on my game. My core was strong, I felt great, I had abs under flab... Now I'm back to square one. For anyone who goes "oh god, I could never do 1000 crunches" = I'm right there with ya! Two night ago I did just 100 on a balance ball. Last night I did modified oblique crunches... just 200. I'm slowly getting back into my groove.
I also e-mailed a gym. I use the excuse of not having my own stuff and place as an excuse to not workout... so I'm going to find a place to workout. The gym I e-mailed has a pool attached to it that has women only hours from 5:30-7AM. And its close to the house I'm staying at... so if I join my goal will be to get up at 5:30, drive there, swim from 6-7AM, and go home and shower and get ready for work.
Let's see A) how much it costs and B) can I make it happen. I have not been in a pool in years. Like a looooong a$$ time. I was on the swim team growing up. I was a fish. I lived in the water. I would get up at 8am, ride my bike 3 miles to the pool, swim for over an hour, ride my bike 3 miles back home, make lunch, ride my bike 3 miles to the pool, swim for three hours, and ride my bike back home 3 miles... and I was still a chubby flubby little girl. I'm fighting some genetics here people. My sister who did the same routine and ate the same food I did was always a stick. AND I was always a fluffy bunny.
I'm excited to start swimming. I am scared sh*tless of wearing a suit in public. SO that's why the women only swim sounds like a great solution. Plus I splurged and bought some new swim bottoms. www.modcloth.com/shop/twopiece-swimw
Since I'm so dang tall... no bathing suits are long enough. Plus these are high-waisted and will help hold in the belly roll. I have a tankini top (not ideal for swimming I know) but hey, its better than nothing. If I sign up I'll go ahead and get some goggles and go get my flip turns on.
Its my goal anyway. I am just hoping to stay motivated. My inner fat kid is screaming for ice cream and pizza and chips and soda. Working on my control is going to be key right now. So I'm focusing on that. Working on trying to make better food choices... And keeping my fingers crossed that the scale will be my friend this month.
Spark on everyone. I'm trying to keep in touch with people on here, but i've also been really busy.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Here's a link to an interesting article: www.businessinsider.com/plus-size-mo
H&M recently featured plus-size model Jennie Runk wearing the new swimsuit collection on its homepage, seamlessly integrating her with other, rail-thin models.
While plus-size models have appeared in fashion shoots and spreads for years, it is often done in a very loud, "we're sending a message," way.
On the June 2011 issue of Vogue Italia, for instance, the models only made the cover when posed seductively (and symbolically) next to big bowls of pasta. American Apparel's "Next Big Thing" plus-size model contest was a testament to the flippant puns often associated with, as the retailer put it, "booty-ful" models with "full-size fannies."
But that appears to be changing, led by brands like H&M, which is currently featuring the also-voluptuous Beyoncť on its homepage.
The normalization of more substantial bodies would represent a big shift in the fashion world. Although the industry has always claimed to value healthy body types, it has discriminated against plus-size models for a very long time.
Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/plus-size-m
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