Friday, January 11, 2013
Imagine my surprise when I just checked my e-mail and found:
"The SparkPeople Community thinks you are a motivation to others!
SparkPeople Members can vote for SparkPages that are motivational, based on Community involvement, personal accomplishments and more. You have received enough votes to become a "SparkPeople Motivator." Congratulations! For recognition, your SparkPage now has a special "SparkPeople Motivator" icon, and your SparkPage will be featured more prominently on the main SparkPages section of the site.
Thank you for inspiring other members through your own hard work and dedication!
The SparkPeople Team"
So -- yea... Thanks guys! I look back on where I came from and I realize I did a lot... The last few months have been a struggle, but I'm not giving up.
This just turned my frown upside down = good start to the weekend
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Okay I'm being dramatic calling it a crisis... but it feels that way.
My mom was here to change my bandages for the last week (its really hard tying a bandage around your right armpit alone). She's stressful. That's putting it midly.
Two days ago she complained there was no food -- so I went to Walmart after work. While I'm there I called her to see if she thought of anything i should buy. She asked me to get a) butter pecan ice cream, b) cookies, and c) chips. Now I don't know about you -- but I AVOID those sections of the store. Those sections are dangerous for a food addict/overeater. So basically my mom sent an alcoholic to the liquor store just to get stuff for her and not me... so that didn't happen.
I ended up buying way too much crap. And consequently since it was in my house -- eating some of it. Now she destroyed a good part of it in her two days -- but monkey see, monkey do, monkey feel fat.
This morning she stormed off in a huff. Packed and left within ten minutes of me pissing her off. I won't get into it, other than to say my mom is crazy, she didn't mean what she said or did, and she probably feels bad for leaving the way that she did. So I need to forget it and get over her actions and remember that they do not reflect on me and I shouldn't get upset about it. She does this all the time.
Now as she was storming about, I packed all of the crap food in bags and put it with her stuff. She refused to take it. I didn't go put it in her car anyway because I wanted to avoid further bloodshed... but now I have a crap ton of bad food in my house.
I brought some of it to work... and then I ate some of it at work. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle with this junk food. I feel dumb for even buying it in the first place... like I'm helping my mother to poison herself with food -- but I am not her parent -- so I need to let that go...
So I had a rather emotional day. And my arm hurts. Still. I see the plastic surgeon again tomorrow... We'll see what he says this week.
Tomorrow's going to be super busy. I have to drop Pippa off at the groomer. Then I have an appointment with the doc... then a salon appt... then TJ is coming down for the weekend to help me out... *sigh* I need a back massage too -- I pulled a muscle last night trying to get dressed with one arm.
I'm just going to pack it in. I have to run to Aldis for some groceries -- then I'm finally seeing Les Miz tonight with some friends.
(128 days until graduation!)
Monday, January 07, 2013
Grr... still healing. Its still bad. Still painful and 3xs a day bandage changes are super fun -- let me tell ya!
I'm not going to whine or complain, but watching the Biggest Loser makes me want to get off the couch and do situps or weight lifting. Anything. I'm going slightly nuts.
I'm just looking forward to the day that this incision heals and I can get back to working out like I used to before the surgery. I sneezed like 15 minutes ago and holy crap -- that pulled on my bandage and I passed out for about half a second from pain. :-/
My mom's still here changing my bandages. She's going stir crazy with me here so I'm going to try to change my bandages and use a bunch of tape to make them stick so she can go home...
Friday, January 04, 2013
I sometimes want to facepalm in front of my plastic surgeon. For any of my new blog readers I had my excess arm skin removed four months ago and had a revision 3 weeks ago...
My armpit incision on the right side ripped open once the sutures were taken out, so I have to go back and see him once a week until the wound closes. Right now I'm just taking this all with a grain of salt and two Percocet. *literally, the Percocet is necessary.
So today I go in, thinking that it has been feeling better, maybe it doesn't hurt so bad, and the first words out of my doctors mouth are: "hmm.... oh, that's not better." So apparently I have to change up the way we've been treating the wound.
I was changing it twice a day --then he looked at it and said I could go down to once a day. A week later -- I don't know what's changed, but I now need to go up to FOUR bandage changes a day with wet to dry bandages to get rid of the gunk and abrade the wound to increase blood flow and hopefully wound healing.
This basically means I get to do something exceedingly painful four times a day for a week... *yay* (grumpy cat)
Now I don't want to freak anyone out who's thinking about surgery -- my first surgery went off without a hitch. My left arm revision looks fantastic. This is just a fluke. This is one of the random, rare things that can happen anytime you have surgery. I just got lucky.
Today he even mentioned that when this heals we'll see how it looks and we might have to do a scar revision if its too big. For the last two weeks he's been telling me not to worry, it will close, the scar won't be that bad...
Now all of a sudden its that bad. I feel frustrated with all of this. I don't regret the surgery but right now its hard to stay focused on being healthy and making smart food choices when I'm on narcotic pain killers and have an exercise restriction due to the fact that anytime I move or stretch my arm in anyway it hurts. Oh god... even sneezing hurts like a b:tch.
I'm trying to stay positive. I was under 1500 calories yesterday and look to be on goal today if I make smart choices. I think that taking control of my diet will be the best thing I can do. My mom's coming down today to be my bandage nurse since its kinda hard to change an armpit bandage one handed. I was going to manage with it once a day -- but 4 times a day is a lot to ask. Now I just need to make sure that I do not falter with my diet when she's around. She's certainly a bad influence and I let myself make too many exceptions when she's around. She even complained that I didn't have any tasty food in my house -- no duh -- there's no chocolate here unless you want diet cocoa. No cookies to munch on -- no chips. Its aaaaaalllll healthy.
So that's that. My arm is gross. It hurts. I'm grumpy. But I'm watching my diet like a hawk, and hopefully the scale will improve and go down.
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