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I'd like to go back in time and punch myself in the face

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

I'd like to go back in time and punch myself in the face...

Seriously, Sara of two weeks ago -- cut that crap out. Two weeks of bad eating = a gain of four pounds. Grr... I'm so annoyed I could eat a bag of chips. That was my reaction and that is also how I gained 4 freakin' pounds back so quickly.

I did track yesterday, and work out yesterday, and I'm planning on doing the same again today... So my good streak is almost two days long, if I don't screw it up.

Here's my annoying weight chart: I updated my weight this morning and got annoyed at myself...

And this is the really annoying part:

Grr annoying me -- that is supposed to keep going down! I did so well at the beginning and as I near maintenance its frustrating. But I can do it... I will do it... I just need to get my head in the game.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HARLOW10 11/17/2012 7:01PM

    I feel the same way. It's been absolutely ridiculous eating and gaining, even though I know better. I have no idea why I keep sabotaging myself. Just knowing where I could be right now since July, and where I am instead, drives me crazy.

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JENCANTA 11/14/2012 3:31PM

    It's a pisser, but you'll get it back! Keep at it!

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LOLATURTLE 11/14/2012 12:56PM

    HA! I can relate. I'd like to go back in time to summer of 2009, when I was ~259 and flirting with 258, could never QUITE get there, and NOT gain up to 300. Really I'd like to go back to 1999 when I was 195 and lose 15 pounds then stay there, instead of gaining 105 in various amounts over the next 13 years.... C'est la vie! Until someone builds that time machine, forward we go.


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TEADYBEAR77 11/13/2012 9:09PM

    I've been there myself. It's not a good place to be. I want to beat myself up for falling off the wagon. The important thing is to get up and get going again. And if you fall down, you dust yourself off and get up and get going. The key is never to quit. You can do this.

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REDDBETSY 11/13/2012 8:26PM

I still find you inspirational!
You can fix this-- Just shake it off (literally-- you should go dancing!).

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MISTY_MOUNTAINS 11/13/2012 7:48PM


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FLUTTEROFSTARS 11/13/2012 7:36PM

    emoticon I feel you, sister!

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NIKKICOLE83 11/13/2012 4:43PM

    I think this happens to everyone as they near maintenance. You begin to feel like you have it in the bag, like if you have this little bite here or there that you will work it off anyway so it is nno big deal. Then you miss a couple of workouts or end your workouts sooner. Next thing you know, you are picking up old habits. I say this because that is what happened to me two years ago and that is why I am back with Spark. The great news is that you identified it at 4 lbs and can get back on track. I didn't recognize what I was doing to myself until 52 lbs had krept on.

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DAWNESS0404 11/13/2012 4:26PM


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HFAYE81 11/13/2012 3:59PM

    ARGH. I know the feeling. From June to August I lost and lost, always staying under that "projected loss" line. Then from September to, well, 2 weeks ago, I was lazy and useless and while my weight only went up 2 pounds, that stupid line is now 15 pounds lower that what I am. SO DISCOURAGING. At least you can still catch it...I'm just going to do my best and use it as a reminder as to why I shouldn't slack off!!! emoticon

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BEECHNUT13 11/13/2012 3:58PM

    You'll poop it out in no time.

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DOINIT4ME2DAY 11/13/2012 3:52PM

    You can't beat yourself up about it... The past is the past, just focus forward... You can do it!

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FALETTELUV 11/13/2012 3:48PM

    I feel your pain, but we have to keep going!

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STRONG_SARAH 11/13/2012 3:38PM

    I know how you feel. It happened to me too. Don't give up, it'll go back down.
And btw, is that a TARDIS on your background pic? Nice!
Keep going!

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Starting Over

Monday, November 12, 2012

Okay. I'm officially hitting reset. I'm starting from square one again. This doesn't depress me or annoy me, which I often read when blogs talk about this topic.

I'm giving up control over my food and getting back to basics. No more, well I can have this... no more--well this won't hurt me if I only buy one bag... no more, I know what I'm doing, I lost 100# -- I can eat badly for a few days (which has turned into over a week!)

So back to basics. Back to tracking. I need some cardio minutes tonight. Back to a protein and vegetables for dinner. Back to a strict breakfast full of protein (I actually really like my breakfast now, I just didn't have the food in my house--problem solved yesterday). But I think the biggest thing is tracking what I eat. Measuring what I eat. Seeing what I've eaten all day on the screen in front of me --and having long hard thoughts about, "was that really worth it?" vs "holy crap, I ate so much and have calories left over." I need more of the second and less of the first.

I finally got back to my house on Saturday night. Admittedly I ate McDonalds on the drive home as part of my 'ahhh screw it' attitude. I did stop myself from getting a McFlurry, but after the calorie bomb of a greasy dinner *shakes head* -- it didn't even taste as good as I remember... Guess what body -- you're getting the fruits and veggies you requested back. I just miss summer. The produce was delicious and cheap. I feel like everything in the stores now is a crappy substitute for the crisp, juicy stuff of summer. But no whining -- I'm going to get some canned lite/no syrup fruit when I get to the store, and some more frozen fruit cocktail bags to enjoy.

This week was so stressful I literally came home, unpacked my car, and took a long bubble bath. Then went to bed at 8:30 on a Saturday. After dragging myself out of bed at 9:30 Sunday morning I went to the store. Target was out of Turkey Jerkey *so mad!* and I didn't feel like going to walmart, so I ended up just going to Natural Grocers and Aldis. I also forgot my soy milk *facepalm* so I do need to make a Walmart run soon... I was just a little crabby yesterday so I continued my "me time" by cleaning out my DVR and not working out as planned.

For that reason - no more excuses today. That's it. I've already tracked breakfast, and I tracked lunch while I was at it. I can do this -- I've done it before -- I will do it again. I'm afraid to step on the scale though. I've somehow managed to not weigh in for a few weeks. I need to tomorrow to see the damage of the past week... It might not be that bad, but my head is telling me it will be BAD. I guess I'll find out tomorrow.

Here's to not giving up and getting back to basics.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JMANDA86 11/16/2012 11:48AM

    I am at the same point as you. Needing to get back to serious tracking and no more 'oh it's only one' or 'I can eat this and lose the next 20 still' because that isn't working! I've been working my booty off in the gym and while that is great, nutrition is a way bigger factor when it comes to losing and I know that!

I think this time of year is tough for me and probably lots of others. The weather getting dreary, the fact that it's dark at 5:30, oversized clothes, the warm and unhealthy comfort foods of winter and the holidays. It's tough. I'm sort of in this mindset that if I can maintain where I'm at through Christmas, I'm ok with that right now but it would be great to lose 10 by new years but I won't be super upset if I don't. Maybe that's the wrong attitude but I know I will be running lots in the spring and it is much easier to get all of the fresh healthy stuff. My other issue is I'm super poor right now. Makes it hard to buy the fruits and veggies my body craves. I'm a part time teacher right now and it's not paying the bills!

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LYNNIERN 11/12/2012 9:39PM

    Great plan for getting back to basics. emoticon emoticon

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BEECHNUT13 11/12/2012 9:24PM

    We all need to refocus once in awhile. It isn't failure, it's continued commitment!

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MISTY_MOUNTAINS 11/12/2012 7:22PM


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SKAHONEY4U 11/12/2012 6:00PM

    I am on the same boat as you in the starting over regard. Life has been pretty rough lately, and my sparking has gone out the window. Last week i finally started tracking again and made it 4 days until I ordered delivery food and then it was a weekend of bad eating (bad eating begets more bad eating for me). Today, I am starting over again, I will make it more than 4 days this time! I haven't been doing any cardio, my excuse being that I can't wear gym shoes because my of my new tattoo (despite the fact I have dvds I can do barefoot).

I hope you can get back into it! Tracking is definitely the key!!

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JENCANTA 11/12/2012 4:16PM

    Everyone needs to reboot once in a while. You recognized the need to do so and are taking charge. Sounds like a good decision to me!

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CAGMUAHFO2 11/12/2012 3:20PM

    emoticon You got this!! emoticon

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NERISAGA 11/12/2012 12:54PM

    I agree, sometimes it's good to just take a deep breath and go back to basics. Good luck on your new start! emoticon emoticon

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EELS4PEELS 11/12/2012 12:41PM

    You've totally got this!! I know I need to hit that reset button too!

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LOLATURTLE 11/12/2012 12:29PM


I truly believe that everyone needs a reboot once in a while. It's part of the process, anyway. Stuff happens. You recognized you needed to take charge, and you are. Way to go. emoticon

Don't be afraid of the scale! Either it will tell you what you already feel like you know (eating more calories caused you to gain a little) or it will give you a pleasant surprise (you maintained anyway).

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PIPERJ4A 11/12/2012 12:08PM

  Congratulations on your commitment.

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Past week of crazy

Thursday, November 08, 2012

So much has happened in the last few days -- its been a rollercoaster.

Starting out with good -- I spent last weekend with TJ again. He's officially going to stick around for awhile. Everything was going great until I heard my grandma had a stroke on Saturday. Then on Sunday we found out it was worse than initially thought, so I was trying to not be a weepy girl with the new BF, but it was really emotional.

Basically my gma is 93, so she's frail, but she could still walk and lived in an apartment building that cooked her food but still gave her independence and space. Now she can't walk, is in a new facility that is nursing home-ish and is angry and embarrassed at how she has to live.

My mom called us on Sunday to ask me and my sisters to come home just in case she didn't make it. So I came home Monday into chaos. My mom had been manically cleaning (her coping mechanism) and was irritated and touchy. My dad (its his mom) was flustered and coping. My uncle was upset and will throw as much money at this problem as we can, but the reality is worse than all of them want to admit.

Monday we get her transferred to a new rehab center from the hospital... but she's worse off physically than they might be able to care for. My sister who is a doctor tells the whole family that she was misdiagnosed and in order for us to get an accurate medical diagnosis she needs an MRI and then insurance will be able to pay for more of her care and rehab.

Tuesday was a lot of a) cleaning to help my mom out, b) running around trying to get my grandma some clothes and personal belongings at her new place, and c) trying to maintain a level of calm in the storm and keep the fights from breaking out... that didn't happen so much. Everyone is touchy right now.

Plus TJ is only 50 minutes away so he wanted to see me to at least give me a hug since this is so rough emotionally.

Wednesday I went shopping with my mom and sisters to get my grandma new clothes since she won't be able to wear a lot of her old clothes with her inability to move her arms and legs as much -- so more elastic waistbands and soft silky nightgowns. Then my crabby sister Erin (the doctor) finally left. She has been antagonizing me this whole time. We never got along, so spending 3 days in each other's company is a little too much.

Beth is still here but going home tonight on the train. I had to drive to pick her up on Monday since she has developed too much anxiety to drive... Erin tried to guilt trip me into wanting to stay here in STL to see TJ instead of driving my sister Beth home... I am not falling for it. The $16 ticket will save us 2 hours and $30 in gas, so yea... Beth's taking the train today.

I finally got to see TJ for dinner last night and we did some shopping to waste time together. It was really nice and I needed the break from the family.

Today I'm switching back to cleaning my mom's house and doing laundry. I know that's the kind of stuff that helps her out more than anything.

So basically I've been eating crap and emotionally filling the drama with food. Its been a bad week. I've eaten horribly, but holy crap! The drama!

Now my family is starting to slow down. Gma is settling into her new place and had an MRI last night... I'm going to see TJ again tonight so I'm looking forward to that.

Hopefully once I get back home next week I can work it out and get back on the healthy eating train.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LYNNIERN 11/11/2012 11:42AM

    So sorry to hear about your grandmother. Sending her, you, your dad and all your family good thoughts and wishes. emoticon

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LOLATURTLE 11/9/2012 4:34PM

    Big hugs to you and your family. Sorry everything is so crazy right now; I hope it gets settled soon.

Your grandma will be okay. I know it's an adjustment, but not all nursing homes are awful. If the one she's in is, have your dad look around at other places nearby. My grandma started out in an awful one for a couple months, but ended up in a really really nice one after that, where she lived for many years.

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STLADEE 11/8/2012 9:39PM

    Sorry to hear about your Gma, but glad to hear you all rally all around her! So glad you were able to spend time with TJ!


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REDDBETSY 11/8/2012 8:42PM


Sorry about your stress.
Hugs to your g'ma, too.

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JENCANTA 11/8/2012 6:31PM

    Hang in there girly. emoticon

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NIKKICOLE83 11/8/2012 5:57PM

    So sorry to hear about your grandma. My grandma (85) just got admitted to a nursing home last weekend for Alzheimers and Dementia. I need to go see her but it is hard to see the woman I knew as so strong and feisty being so frail and vulnerable. I know how you feel. I am glad that you have TJ to give you that relief.

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SUSIEGKORN 11/8/2012 5:39PM

    So sorry for what your gma and your family are going through. Has the stroke affected her speech or cognitive skills? My sister had a stroke when she was 32 years old (she's 57 and still paralized on her right side) but has had a productive life ~ still married and able to drive, shop, walks, etc. So much can be done to help stroke victims, but at age 93, that could be a struggle. God bless your gma!

Glad things are going well with TJ!

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MISTY_MOUNTAINS 11/8/2012 4:38PM

    Sorry to hear about your Grandma. These are hard times. I hope everyone levels out, and you get to have some more time with her. emoticon

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CAGMUAHFO2 11/8/2012 3:15PM

    I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. So glad to hear that TJ is there for you!! He sounds like a WONDERFUL guy!!

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DAWNESS0404 11/8/2012 1:38PM

    Sorry to hear about your grandma.

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KIMCOLLINGS 11/8/2012 12:57PM

    You are a terrific, caring daughter/granddaughter/sister. So sorry about your grandma. She has a lot of people who love her and are taking care of her though, so that is terrific. Hang in there. You'll get back on track eating-wise once things are settled down.

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DABLUECAT 11/8/2012 12:42PM

I wish I got more enjoyment out of the guild trips I get sent on sometimes!

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ADARKARA 11/8/2012 12:31PM

    I'm really sorry about your grandma and all the drama. I hope she gets better soon and everything calms down a bit. emoticon

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SDLEE514 11/8/2012 12:15PM fun. but its the hard things in life that tell us how strong we are, and you my dear are very strong! emoticon

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KONOHA-NIN 11/8/2012 12:05PM

    Hang in there!

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ORODEO73 11/8/2012 12:05PM


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ELRIDDICK 11/8/2012 11:55AM

  Thanks for sharing

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LEB0401 11/8/2012 11:55AM


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I can't stop smiling

Monday, October 29, 2012

I'm all smiles today... heck I've been all smiles this entire weekend. If cheek muscles could burn a ton of calories I'd be stick thin by now.

I can finally say that after a year of online dating and tons of frogs, I am officially off the market. TJ came to visit this weekend and we've both been acting like silly 13 year olds in love ever since. He lives in the St. Louis area, so we won't be able to see each other in person every week, so hopefully that will keep me in check from falling off my healthy wagon and give us time to really get to know each other. Even as I'm typing this I'm smiling like an idiot.

Now I know anyone who's lost weight freaks out about the "fat little secret" we carry around. I was so worried that a) TJ would see my arm scars and freak out or b) would see my formerly fat pictures of FB and run away. After our dates last weekend I begrudgingly added him on FB since he was being so cute and sweet. I even freaked out before I added him and tried to remove the tags from all of my fat photos... and there were a lot of photos... so it didn't really work. He was apparently enamored enough to go through my whole profile... so needless to say, the fat girl inner voice said he was going to run. And then the fit girl inner voice kept telling me (as did all of my friends and you guys) that if he runs, he wasn't worth it in the first place...

I made dinner on Friday for us, and afterward I started to bring some stuff up... He quote "had noticed my scars, but was too much of a gentleman to ever bring them up." He talked a lot about his battle with depression too over the weekend, so I finally felt comfortable sort of mentioning the weight loss. Once again he said he had noticed, and that it looked like "I had really changed" but never once did he say anything negative.

He's smitten... I'm head over heels... so its been fun. I also have a post over on reddit with a link to my progress photos. He wanted my username over there so he could see what I've been posting -- once again the inner fat girl said *NO, don't show him that! He'll run!" But being TJ he kept being really sweet so I caved and sent him my user information -- so I know now for sure that there aren't really any fat girl secrets between us.

This was scary for me people. My blog and posts may be positive (and I always try to stay positive) -- but my inner fat girl is a b*tch and she rears her ugly head every now and again to make me feel like crap. So I've calmed down a bit about TJ running. He seems like a keeper, and I am incredibly happy right now.

I think I finally found my new motivation to keep my diet in check. I've been not tracking, and apparently I'm doing okay. I've stabilized to around 181 so I finally updated my weight tracker. Maybe if I keep up with my strength training and weight lifting mixed with cardio I'll bust the 180 mark soon. It definitely helped me get through my 3000 crunches routine again last night. I was going to up it to 4000 but I got bored, lol.

I have a follow-up visit with my plastic surgeon on Friday, so I'm going to try and kill my arm muscles tonight with a great workout. I think my biceps are finally starting to show :-D And maybe I'll finally stop smiling... but I doubt it ;-)

Here's my reddit posts if anyone is interested or is a redditor:

Bonus -- here's a pic from this weekend's tailgate.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRAVELISMYGAME 11/19/2012 2:48PM

    So happy for you, congrats! Sounds like a keeper!

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RUMBAMEL 11/2/2012 8:26PM

    How wonderfully awesome!! Keep smiling and enjoy all the newness of new love!



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CHSHULER89 11/1/2012 10:18PM

    So happy for you!!!

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SUSIEGKORN 11/1/2012 5:12PM

    THRILLED for you! THRILLED! Way to be open and honest with TJ ~ now you can just enjoy each other without any anxiety over the "fat little secret". So proud of you and the real YOU you have become! Go, Sara, Go! Have fun developing your new relationship! emoticon

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COLEYBANANA 10/31/2012 9:35AM

    Yay! ^-^ I'm so happy you finally found someone that treats you well! Why can't there be more guys like him? Not everyone sees you as your 'size'. They actually see the REAL you, the one that's inside. It seems like this guy is a keeper :)

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REDDBETSY 10/30/2012 6:21PM

    Sara-- I am so happy for you! You deserve every happiness.

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LYNNIERN 10/29/2012 9:05PM

    Your blog made me smile! So glad TJ didn't turn out to be a frog. Great picture from tailgating, it looks like you were having a blast, were you at the MU game?

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JENCANTA 10/29/2012 7:50PM

    Good for you! I say smile away! =D

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FLUTTEROFSTARS 10/29/2012 6:15PM

    Yay!!! I'm so happy for you!! As I'm still kissing my way through the frogs of online dating, it's great to hear that you've found a keeper!

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ATTACKFATCAT 10/29/2012 5:46PM

    Awww! So happy you are full of smiles today. He sounds like an absolute sweetheart. I do the inner irrational struggle as well with my boyfriend, though oddly it's over issues other than weight. Definitely continue to beat those down with positive thoughts and the irrational voice will get smaller. It is definitely good to be honest about where you've been and who you are shows how much of a fighter you are and he should respect what you've accomplished and it shouldn't bother him if he's the right guy for you. Congrats!

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BRAVENEWGRL 10/29/2012 5:20PM

    I think we are living parallel lives right! Awesome and I think I can see you grinning from here! :)

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JUJUFISH 10/29/2012 4:01PM

    Woohoo! Hooray on all counts!

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STLADEE 10/29/2012 3:29PM

    Aaaww that's so sweet! congrats on being off the market! I am hoping this recent one will be NOT be a frog!

YAY! on getting to adjust the weight tracker! emoticon

Happy for you! emoticon

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MISTY_MOUNTAINS 10/29/2012 2:39PM

    Fabulous. Enjoy it!!

emoticon emoticon

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DZSWEETIE2005 10/29/2012 2:26PM

    Awww so cute! I love that feeling! Yay! :)

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LEB0401 10/29/2012 1:44PM

    Your hat is SO freaking cute!!!!!!

(And so is the boy!)

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SHRINK_U 10/29/2012 1:24PM

    I wouldn't be able to stop smiling either if I were you :) That is wonderful! I checked out your pictures at reddit and you look amazing.


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NIKKICOLE83 10/29/2012 1:06PM

    That inner fat girl is so annoying. I think she doesn't want us to be happy. She wants us to sit at home and eat Oreos and ice cream and be miserable with her. Good think you shut her up! I also met my now fiance online. Of course I only posted pics of myself from the neck up so when we finally met it was like, "Is he giong to stop calling now that he knows I am fat?" Our relationship moved slow, as it should, but many times I felt like it was moving slow because he rally didn't want to date a fatty rather than him just being caucious. Early in our dating I began to lose weight and dropped almost 50lbs. By then we were official but it bothered me that he didn't make a bigger deal out of me being smaller. I finally said something to him and he just responded, "your weight has never been an issue to me. I fell in love with the person, not the size, so if you never lose another pound, I don't care." I ended up gaining all the weight back plus some and he still proposed. Currently I am down 42 pounds and he supports me but I know that that support will be there no matter what. Sometimes we have to tell our inner fat girl to sit down and shut up so that she doesn't get in the way of our happiness. Congratulations!

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Find Inspiration Anywhere* (*cute guys included)

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

That's a quote from one of my favorite fitness Tumblrs the Arthlete : You should all go check her out. Her stuff is great for motivational boards.

Lately I've been thinking of this one ;-)

I managed to do 1000 cruches on the ball, 1000 crunches on the ground with my feet on the ball, and 1000 sidebends holding a 25# kettlebell. That's 3000 crunches... Yes, I can feel that today!

I also did squats, single leg squats, quad workouts, glutes stretches, dumbbell presses, and dumbbell hammer curls, and dumbell... well I kinda forgot what all I did.

Basically I'm in a super good mood. TJ has been nothing but attentive and super cute via text. (An alternative title to this blog would have been WHY THE HECK ISN'T IT FRIDAY YET!?!?!?!) Haha... but I'm trying to not get ahead of myself.

This morning I weighed in at 180.8. I won't change my ticker until I see if this was a one day fluke or an actual weight loss -- but that ALSO helped my fantastic mood.

Before I ramble, here's some of the other artwork from Arthlete I love:

Yes crunches are easier when you actually have ABS!

I'm weight lifting to improve my shape not lose weight. Right now the scale and I have broken up. I'm having an affair with my mirror. I'm learning to love what I see there instead of focusing on what I hate.

Today I let myself splurge on breakfast. I knew I was going to be running late. It was an allergy shot morning and I stayed up too late last night... (we won't mention the Cards game) So I used a free breakfast sandwich Monopoly piece I had (from the one time in 6 months that I caved and got it after a night of drinking = bad habits!). I was planning on being good and getting a McMuffin since they're healthier than the biscuits but wouldn't you know, those sly devils put a thing on there it had to be anything but a McMuffin. Oh well. I splurged on a hashbrown since I knew I could factor it into my daily calories -- and wouldn't you know I won a McFlurry and a medium fry! It's like these people know I am a reformed fast food addict and a cheapskate -- they're luring me back with free food. Bad combo. I need to gift someone I like a free McFlurry stat before I go eat one.

Or maybe I'll save it for a rainy day...

That's about it. I need to go make my tutu for Halloween (and see if my one costume will fit. I bought it online and I'm still scared as heck that I'm not small enough to fit into some of the women's sizes since sizing is so crazy... *fingers crossed* I won't look bad! I'm so going to post a side by side of the last few Halloweens for everyone to see the progress. I hated photos, but I ALWAYS got dressed up for Halloween.

And now for some final motivation ... seriously go check out:

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EELS4PEELS 10/29/2012 1:17PM


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LYNNIERN 10/27/2012 10:29AM

    Another excellent blog! Thanks for the info about, I'm looking forward to checking it out. I hate to copy what someone else said, but I love that quote about the mirror also. What will be even bigger for me is when I fall in love with the camera!! emoticon

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SUNSET09 10/26/2012 1:40PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon I like the one that it gets easier as that's exactly what's happening with me. I have tried Insanity, Zumba and C.O.R.E. into my workout schedule and having fun with them all. Now, I need to add the weights to tone and firm. Great motivation quotes as I always enjoy a little encouragement, thanx and make it a great day! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CAGMUAHFO2 10/25/2012 10:39AM

    emoticon with the motivation!! AWESOME!!! Thanks!!

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SHRINK_U 10/24/2012 3:40PM

    That is some serious crunching, girl :) I can only imagine how sore I would be after that. I also love when you said, "I'm having an affair with my mirror. I'm learning to love what I see there instead of focusing on what I hate."

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TYANDCARSMOM 10/24/2012 10:01AM

    I know that you listed a lot of inspirational quotes.... but, I found an inspirationa quote from what you wrote:

"I'm having an affair with my mirror. I'm learning to love what I see there instead of focusing on what I hate."

I LOVE IT!!!! And, I am going to say that to myself!!

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