Monday, October 22, 2012
So I have had quite a busy, busy past five days.
I had an ex(ish) guy from June/July of this year out of the blue ask me if I wanted to go to game 4 of the National League Championship Series at Busch to see the Cards play… Moral dilemma… didn’t want to date him – made that perfectly clear… he thinks he can a) change my mind and b) bribe me with Cardinals tickets.
So I made it clear it was just as friends, and he seemed okay with that. Cue to us at the game TALKING for three hours. Apparently he’s been completely hung up on me (after only 2 dates people!) and needed to either convince me to date him or get closure. So I spent about three hours beating around the bush. I don’t want to be mean to the guy but he is definitely in the friendzone… and I don’t particularly like a guy who thinks that if he takes me to the World Series (which he offered) that I would instantly date him. I can’t be bought, and the fact that he kept trying offended me.
SO after the game he asked me to help pay for the tickets!!! What?! I was kind of shocked since he had just bragged about his promotion and pay increase and the fact that he has tickets to 4 World Series Games… I ended up buying our dinner as peace offering. Then told him I wasn’t going to go to Game 5 with him… then just bought them off him (at a markup!) to go with my Dad instead. So that was drama…
So Friday I did some crafts with my Mom, got some shopping and cooking in, and then went to Game 5 with my Dad. It was so cold! I had on a pencil skirt and tights for Game 4… Game 5 = thermals under my jeans + a blanket!!! It was fun. It sucked that we lost. I think the best quote of the night came from a 10 year old next to me when the Giants made a great play, “Don’t boo him guys—that was a great catch!” So that was my mentality for the rest of the game after it was clear we were going to lose…
Cut to Saturday. I went with my mom to a crafting day with my “other moms” aka my friends moms and fellow girl scout moms. They all hadn’t seen me for awhile. I was apparently “unrecognizable” (in a good way). Then I showed off the arm scars and they were all appropriately horrified and impressed. And of course there were the “oh you’re so pretty now, well you were always pretty, but…” then my mom cut in “yea, but now people notice it!” *sigh* That sentence still makes me cringe a bit.
But I was in a good mood. I had a date! Completely new guy for anyone keeping track, haha. This guy is 6’7” tall! (not a typo) so me being 5’10” I was in heaven. I finally got some exercise in too! I suggested a zoo date so we could walk around and be distracted by animals. And walk! I needed to get some activity in, there was a lot of sitting involved in the baseball games. Then dinner at Schlafly and some drinks… all in all a really good time and this guy definitely has the most promise for an actual relationship… I’m still a little *squee* about it right now…
As I was packing up Sunday to come back to Columbia he sent me a text asking if I had lunch yet, ‘cause he couldn’t wait another week to see me… sorry for everyone who just got a cavity ;-)
So we went back to Forest Park (with my two little dogs in tow) for a quick picnic before I left…
Now I didn’t do too badly with food this weekend. It’s Shark Week so I’m not weighing myself and I’m determined to get in a good cardio workout tonight. I have a lot of strength training planned this week. I’m going to be a bit more careful though, since it took three days for my right shoulder to calm down after I wrenched it. Being tall my joints tend to pop out every now and again, and a 10# weight pulled my right shoulder a bit too much.
That’s it. I had a really fantastic four days and now I’m back to work and back to making smart decisions with food and exercise.
AND it’s Halloween weekend!!! I have changed my costume like 5 times. What I thought I was going to be might not be shipped till after Halloween, and who knows if I really want to paint myself pink… so its going to be a surprise after all!
Plus today I gave myself a Frankenstein manicure… It’s adorable. I love Halloween. Everyone have a good week and avoid fun size candy bars! I’m telling myself, I’d rather have a fun sized a$$ than a fun sized candy bar!
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Another week, another allergy shot. Blogging is going to make this 20 minute wait go a lot quicker…
Right now I’m super excited about getting to go to the Cardinals game tomorrow in St. Louis. Going with an ex—as a friend, so that should be interesting. In other news—I have nothing to wear! The weather is not going to be my friend tomorrow (I hate being cold), so I of course need to go look at some Cardinals gear today ;-) I think I can find any excuse to go shopping.
Fitness wise I’ve been doing good. Yesterday I went 70 minutes on my treadmill at a 5% incline and did over 4 miles and 660+ calories burned. That felt good. I was also watching The Walking Dead, so my adrenaline was up which helped to get me going. I don’t know if I ever mentioned how much I hate scary movies… but I make an exception for The Walking Dead since its not always scary. Cue to one part of the show near the end, I scream my head off – scare my roommates dog who then proceeds to bark and hide behind the couch… and try not to fall off the treadmill.
I’m also still sore from my arm workout on Monday. I’ve decided to not do the gym, so I’m upping my exercises and reps at home. And it worked… ouch man. So today should be a rest day as my legs are still sore from my Sunday crazy glutes workout… but since I’m going to be busy all day tomorrow and then have the Cardinals game, I’m going to make tomorrow a rest day… So I need to do something tonight. The crazy girl in me loves seeing the 500+ calorie burn/hour of cardio, but I also love strength training for the resulting muscles… so hmm… maybe a bit of both tonight. This kind of obsession over working out is nice to have back. I completely fell out of this routine in the past two months – so getting back to it feels good.
Now if I could only get my eating under control then I might actually be able to see some results! (who else feels this way?) I was about to say that I haven’t been eating badly – but that would be a lie. I’ve made some poor food choices in the past few weeks. I partially blame tailgating, and partially blame me not giving a flying **** about counting calories or tracking portions. I’m still making good food choices over all, but I’ve been slipping with allowing in extras. Like it won’t kill me to eat Mexican for lunch today…. Or I can go out and drink Thurs, Fri, and Sat (last week –ugh, my liver hates me!)… And lately – there’s Halloween candy EVERYWHERE. I’m coming up on my Shark Week, so having chocolate everywhere is NOT helping me with avoiding chocolate.
Through all of this bad eating, I’ve been working out pretty consistently. I haven’t gained or lost weight really. Still at 183. So its strange. Obsess over food, work out constantly, struggle with weight. Chose to eat smart and have a few treats, work out a bit but not as hard, stay at the same weight. If I was an idiot I’d assume I can stop all of this fitness nonsense and be happy with my weight. I know as easily as it was to slip out of fitness once, I could do it again. I know if I allow myself too many treats and lunches out, I could easily get back over 200#. So I’m going to try and stay obsessed—in a good way.
It doesn’t help that I have people around me who are sick and tired of me talking about dieting or working out. Lately I’ve been talking a lot about the dating craziness that I’ve been going through, but that’s also starting to drive my close single friends nuts! I joked with my one friend that I might need a therapist to talk it out – and if my insurance wasn’t so incredibly horrible, I just might. I still might… but that’s something that I have to look into…
So that’s pretty much it. I had a weird craving for mixed vegetables the other day. I didn’t really care what my main protein was as long as I ate a cup of veggies. Isn’t it strange how our bodies care a lot about what we put into them? I have been eating very clean, and my weekend of alcohol, McDonalds, and sweets was too much for my poor system. My body wanted fruits and veggies STAT. I complied, added in some cardio, and guess what. I woke up early, refreshed, and didn’t need caffeine this morning.
I guess I need to listen to my body. It knows better than I do sometimes.
Monday, October 15, 2012
So 183 is my new bubble. Goodbye 178... I saw you for two days seven weeks ago... now 183 is the number that I've been bouncing around. I'm up 5, down 2, up 1, down 3... and always back to 183.
Its probably all the weight lifting I've been doing lately. Cardio has taken a backseat. I am still doing at least two days of cardio each week, but life has just been getting in the way. I sweat way too much when I do cardio, but I can always throw in squats or crunches or pound out a few reps with weights without getting too sweaty (and then have to shower before going back out). Oh and I'm becoming better acquainted with planks. I thought, no problem. I can whip out 1000 crunches and 500 side bends without a problem so planks... I'll be great at planks. I was inspired to start last week with some of the articles.
So I planked it. 30 seconds is a long time! This time around I put my iPhone right in front of me so I could watch the time to make sure I didn't count too fast. 30 seconds was difficult but not that bad. Then I did another 30. Then tried one minute. NOPE. Haha... its good to try out new exercises to see just how you can improve. So now planks have made it into my routine.
I've decided to not get a gym. It's just too much right now, and I'd rather spend that money on shoes and clothes! (in all seriousness, that's what I chose!)
Speaking of new clothes... I need to go get a women's Cardinals jersey, 'cause I'm going to the game on Thursday!!! I jokingly told the guy who's taking me (an ex) that I would wear a tight red dress and yellow tights a la Fred Bird. Anyone else think I should do it? It might be a little much for the Cards fans in St. Louis. We tend to dress down, wouldn't you say? So I figure--throw a jersey over it, and then its just a short red skirt, and you can't go wrong with that (amiright?!).
SO in other news... I'm wearing shorter skirts and dresses than I would have ever been comfortable in. I love sweater tights = my new obsession. Finally being a weight (especially at my height) where I can readily find stuff that fits is still just now being jammed into my head. Also there's the confidence there... so yea. I may still be at 183 and not where I ideally want to be... but I'm confident and happy and according to others, that really shows. That red dress just might have to make an appearance Thursday...
On the guy front... Matt's been friend zoned. He hung out with my group on Friday to bar hop and watch the Cards game, and everyone there thought he was still acting like my boyfriend... which he is NOT. So I wasn't the only one who thinks he needs to change his behavior. I told him after a few drinks Friday that I was going on a date Saturday at the tailgate, which Matt was originally going to go to -- but surprise he didn't show up.
Saturday I had a tailgate... hungover... and a guy drove in to meet me... he was weird. Brought me a corsage and made me wear it... weird. Haven't talked to him since. But now I'm sort of dating my ex Igor... so hopefully I can give up this whole dating game for awhile -- its so much work! I'm getting lazy... hopefully Igor will stick. I'm also officially not talking to the douchey guy anymore. Not worth my time.
Then out of the blue an ex from this Spring had Cardinals tickets and no one to go with for Thursday so he randomly texted me. I agreed to go on Thursday but as friends. Hopefully he's not trying to lure me back into a relationship with Cardinals tickets.... during the post season, 'cause that would be mean! And I would be far too temped! (He mentioned he might get world series tickets if the Cards go!) So I'm going Thursday... and maybe Friday but I wouldn't commit -- seeing as I don't know what his intentions are...
That's pretty much it. Everyone seems to be Sparking, so I have a lot to catch up on!
Tuesday, October 09, 2012
Okay, so I’ve got 20 minutes for a quick blog. I’m stuck sitting in my allergists office, and as I learned last week—if I bring my laptop, I can multitask and blog! So update on me… as if I haven’t been blogging all month (this is one of the things I’m trying to do to keep my Spark up).
I’m up with my weight. I just couldn’t bring myself to update my tracker. I’m assuming it’s a mysterious miasma that surrounded me while I was on the scale and isn’t actually part of me. I also know that I’m going to kick my butt and get rid of it ASAP! Which means I need to get my a$$ in gear and start tracking my food. I’ve been pretty bad. Who wants to record the fact that you ate six, well 8 cookies on Saturday and a loaf of pumpkin bread (by yourself) on Sunday? Plus I went to visit my Chinese friend and her parents-in-law made me authentic Chinese dumplings! SOOOOO GOOOOOOOD! I can’t even tell you how amazing they were! But now they’re gone – the ones I ate there and the giant bag of them they sent me home with. So now I hope that I’m just carrying around a belly full of dumplings and not fat on my behind. That or its muscle on my behind—I like that idea better.
I’ve been doing a lot of squats lately. I didn’t get a chance to participate in squat September so I’m making my own squat October. I actually did sets of squats as I was waiting for my machine to clean yesterday. I would run through cleaning solution and as it was working, I did squats. I had to do 10 runs of cleaner, but I only made it to the 5th round with squats! Oh well – I got in 50 squats at work, on a whim. I’d consider that a win.
So the thing I’ve been debating is joining a gym. I don’t like working out in front of people. I don’t want to jiggle, I’m sure EVERYONE is looking at me, and saying horrible things… Well the inner fat girl in me tells me this constantly. Plus when I put on a sports bra, my boobs literally disappear, so I don’t feel cute in workout clothes (‘cause that’s important right? (someone smack me please!)).
So now I’ve started looking. Holy crap these things are expensive. And I want to get a trainer for a few sessions to learn how to use the machines – holy crap that’s even more expensive!!! Some of the prices I’ve seen don’t make me feel bad at all in investing in a semi-expensive treadmill… So is it worth it? For those of you who have a trainer, or who have used a trainer to learn the equipment – is it worth it? I have a few undergrads that I work with that are crazy muscle builders – I’ve thought about asking them to show me around, but I’m still a little self-conscious about that. So I was thinking a stranger/trainer that I can take advice from without feeling like a goober might be a good idea…. If I’m willing to make that financial investment. The thing about me is, if I spend the money, I can guilt myself into going… and if I get a trainer, I have someone to report to…
Plus I really want to start a crazy weight training schedule and its hard to get it all done with just weights. I’d like to work on my legs and squats and lunges do work… but I dunno—maybe I would do more with a machine? With someone telling me to do reps? That’s my dilemma right now… What do you all think about gyms and trainers?
Then on the guy front my life is a silly mess… Matt (who doesn’t want to date but just be ‘friends’) keeps texting to hang out…. As ‘friends’ I honestly haven’t dated a guy, broken up, and stayed friends. I’m more likely to cut my losses and run away to forget them. What’s funny is he actually wants to hang out more now that we’re not dating. I invited him to a scientific seminar I thought he might want to go to (‘cause we’re both science grad students) – and he showed up early to my lab to hang out – not what I intended. Now he wants to spend the weekend marathoning a TV show we both like… so I’m kinda like, dude… you want me to spend 10 hours next to you on a couch as ‘friends.’ I don’t know if I’m ready for that… plus I have a social life! I might even have a date – so I’m not committing to spending that much if any time with him. Its still messing with my head a bit.
New guy is in and out of town. He’s flirting like mad via text, but hasn’t nailed down a date. This is the one that I thought was a little douchey, so I’m distancing myself a bit and not getting to crazy about this one… and since I am bored and apparently am an attention wh0re (hey I found a way to use words Spark hates!) I’m chatting up a few other guys on OK Cupid as well… These other two are no where near as cute as the douchey guy, but for some reason that makes me a lot more comfortable. I’m not used to having really cute guys interested in me. The weirdos, the nerds, that’s what I’m comfortable with. The frat boys – not so much (and the inner nerd in me cringes a bit when I admit how cute they are).
I guess I just need to get used to the fact that I don’t look the way I used to. The inner fat girl in me keeps screaming expletives and telling me how bad I look, even though I know I don’t… She’s horrible. She’s really good sometimes at making me feel like the same old size 22 I used to be instead of the 10 I am now. I combat this by wearing 4” heels in lab and cute outfits and telling her to STFU, but sometimes she wins, not often, but sometimes. Today she will not win though, I look far too cute to be insecure today!
Sunday, October 07, 2012
Yesterday was a freaking roller coaster!
I had one of my really good friends I haven't seen in 10 years spend the night at my place on her roadtrip back home. We chatted all night, and she left pretty early in the morning.
Then I hit up work. I had just a small experiment to do, but I needed to get it done early so I could tailgate. While at work I was trying to figure out what Matt's plans were for the night. He was acting a little odd, so I knew something was up. A few texts later he told me he wasn't over his ex.... but still wants to be friends (hmm... :-/ )
Then I hit up the tailgate. Um--holy crap it was cold! I didn't have enough clothes on. I had a tank top under a t-shirt, with a hoodie over it, then put another hoodie over that and a scarf. Still cold! Plus just getting dumped made me grab some cookies. I made them = freaking fantastic people. I didn't do too great with my food at the tailgate, I'll be honest. I drank a bit -- it was freezing! Next week I'm going to have to dress MUCH warmer. Haha, we were joking that we should go to the tractor supply store for some long-johns to wear under our clothes.
Now at the tailgate a few things happened. I started texting another guy I'd been flirting with for awhile. I have a date with him later this week, so I felt pretty good about myself that I can get dumped and get a new guy pretty quickly. That was an ego boost. I have no plans on this new guy actually working out. He seems a little douchey -- but he's cute, and you never freakin' know, right?
Then about an hour later I got another REALLY long facebook message from my stalker. I finally blocked him on facebook, so he won't be able to message me on there. He stopped calling my number from his phone, but I think he called me from a blocked number twice last week *creeeeppy.
If this keeps up I"ll have to bug legal services... except this guy is one of the two lawyers at legal services! *Ugh. Ive tried ignoring him, but the stalker isn't getting it. I so didn't have this problem a year ago and a year and a half ago... But a year and a half ago I wasn't dating at all... so I'm just now having to learn how to deal with idiot boys.
So after the tailgate I stopped by Panera for some hot soup and hot chai to revive myself, and a friend went with me to Pitch Perfect. That movie is hilarious people. FYI--its raunchy comedy but its pretty freakin' funny. Definitely what I needed after the whole Matt thing.
I ended up going home. Called some of my girl friends and talked it out. Then I put on workout clothes and did an hour on the treadmill and another 45 minutes of strength training. So SUUUUCK it Saturday night. Matt was still texting me. He's really trying to push the whole friends thing. He's even going to come out with my friends tomorrow night as part of our trivia team--like that's not going to be awkward. And I'm not mean for planning to dress REALLY cute tomorrow right? Haha, I don't think so...
So this morning I've gotten a little off track. I ate some sweets, I made some protein pancakes (didn't really stick to a recipe or serving size), and a piece of sausage. I'm going to be better. Pretty soon I'll get off Spark and start working out. I'm going to go over to a friend's house for lunch to see her baby boy! He's a little over a month old and I haven't seen him yet. He's the cutest little chinese baby ever!
I need to work out now. Must do crunches. Must plank. Must workout. Must stop eating crap. I've been good about working out -- now I just need to stop eating.
Oh god, new guy keeps sending me photos--he's an interesting character. I have no hope for him actually lasting...
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