Friday, September 28, 2012
Well I had an interesting 2am wake up call. My Pomeranian Pippa was throwing a hissy fit and freaking the eff out. At 2am. Needless to say I wanted to kick her. So after like 15-20 minutes of her crying I got up to physically carry her outside, which I don’t do since I have a doggy door.
I should have known something was wrong by the way she was acting. There was a RACCOON in my kitchen/dining room!!! At least I think it was. All I saw with my sleepy/not awake/really annoyed eyes was something grey/black with a bushy tail going out the doggy door – and this thing had to be about 30#~!!!! So unless it was a really fluffy housecat who went to the wrong place – I just fed a raccoon dog food out of a bowl.
So needless to say, I screamed – scared the crap out of my roommate, and locked the doggy door. Then tried to find a way to calm down and not freak the eff out about this happening again since raccoons are freaky smart!
Pippa was so scared she slept in the bathroom (the farthest point from the kitchen) for over an hour shaking. My silly little dog wanted ME to get up and get that thing out of the house ASAP! And she’s kind of a bully about attacking things (she tried to attack a horse for Christ sakes), so I wonder if she went near it and it swiped at her. She’s super fluffy (she had a bath last night) so I’ll check her again when I get home, but she wasn’t hurt. *thank god
So now what? Lock the doggy door at night? I turned on the outside security light. Maybe that will scare them off, but jeez, I was floored. Still kinda freaked out by it.
Fitness wise, I started some lower body stuff, more weightlifting. My abs need to get whipped back into shape. I might do some cardio tonight after I go out to dinner with friends. I ate pretty good so far. I couldn’t figure out what I wanted for lunch so I just brought cereal and soy milk. I’m weird sometimes…
Date was okay earlier this week. He was so normal it was refreshing, especially after the last guy was a stalker. I eventually just had to send him a really b*tchy message telling him the reasons WHY I wouldn’t go out with him again. Then he said, oh well if you change your mind I’d still love to go out with you *CrAaAaAzZyY
So yea, I’m looking forward to a normal weekend where I can get some good workouts in, clean up a bit, and craft on my Halloween costume (a TARDIS dress!). I may end up doing an Andy Warhol Marilyn… you know, paint myself pink and wear my white dress around to see if anyone gets it ;-) But for now I want to finish my TARDIS dress.
Hope everyone has a good weekend!
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
So I started back with my cardio. I'm a month post-surgery so I have no restrictions other than being lazy and out of shape. A week prior to surgery I did 3-10ks. A month later, I'm huffing and puffing after 30 minutes. Pouring in sweat at a low speed. It's crazy how fast your fitness disappears! That was Sunday.
Cut to yesterday when I thought, I can do better. I got up to 50 minutes at a 5% incline. Not too shabby. I also upped the speed a bit more to push myself. One weird thing happened though. When I was really pushing my heart rate up, my forearm started to hurt. Not bad. More like, hmm, that's uncomfortable and not normal. So I'm going to watch it to see if it keeps up or if its just a temporary thing while I get back into shape. Regardless I'm going to bring it up to the plastic surgeon at my appointment in four weeks. Hopefully by then I'll know if its a problem or if I have the go ahead to just keep using it and its not an issue. (And hopefully in four weeks I'll also be below 180).
I was afraid after my weekend binges that I would magically be at like 190. Nope -- 183. I don't know why I'm so afraid that any little slip up will magically add 25,000 calories worth of weight to my body. I'm four pounds higher than my pre-surgery weight, and with the 12# of fluid gain and not really exercising for a month, I am A OK with that. Hopefully this metabolic reset will let me push past my plateau.
I've been planning ahead on meals this week *go me! I cut up 2 cantaloupes, 1 pineapple, 1 honeydew, 2 pounds of strawberries, and a quarter pint of raspberries and doled it out into containers in my fridge. I spent a hour doing it though... and only two knife cuts at the very end. But now my fridge is jam packed with fruit that I have to eat before it goes bad, so I will not be grabbing chocolate or some other filler.
I also stocked up on egg whites and chicken breasts. I am being a boring old hag when it comes to my food lately, but it seems to be working. I know last summer I lost most of my weight by eating grilled chicken and veggies every night. Now that I'm tracking my calories, its a big *no duh* moment. I had been slacking with my calories, so now I'm focused. I want to look damn good with my new arms. They cost enough, so why not show them off, lol. *as winter approaches and I bundle up*
That's basically it... some crazy drama with online dating. One guy turned stalker-ish last night... haven't had that happen yet. New guy tonight. I'm trying to be all non-chalant about this. I am the queen of first dates.... and not in a good way.
Monday, September 24, 2012
From NPR: www.npr.org/blogs/pictureshow/2012/0
hoto-at-a-time? At the end there's a link to her personal website showing more NSFW nude/art photos of her transformation. The article has a safe slideshow.
Losing 160 Pounds, One Photo At A Time
Categories: Daily Picture Show
September 24, 2012
by COBURN DUKEHART
After her wedding in 2009, artist Julia Kozerski decided to drastically change her lifestyle. She lost 160 pounds in one year — and documented the transition with her iPhone.
Her series — called "Changing Room" — was shot in various dressing rooms in 2010 and 2011. Her body was changing so rapidly that she kept trying on clothes as a way of exploring her identity.
Courtesy of Julia Koze
At the time, Kozerski was attending the Milwaukee Institute of Art & Design and working on a nude portrait series called "Half." She never intended to publish the photos — they were simply a personal exercise. But a year later, she decided to share the "raw, uncensored and unrestricted 'behind-the-scenes' look" of her transformation.
As for how she lost the weight? She stopped eating junk food, started walking and biking daily, counted calories, and weighed and measured her food portions. (You can see a BodyBugg armband in many of the photos.)
I recently caught up with her by email to ask a few questions about the project:
The Picture Show: You say that this was not an intentional photo series. What do you think about when you look at the photos now?
Kozerski: "Even though these images were taken years ago, when I look back at them, I become extremely emotional. I can still remember the experience presented in each image. I recall the thrills of trying on smaller sizes and the satisfaction of feeling more attractive, even sexy. More so, I remember the devastation of not recognizing the person reflected back to me in the mirror."
These photographs, and others on your site, are very personal, and quite revealing of your physical body. What are your motivations for revealing so much of your private self in your photographs?
"When I began my physical transformation, it was a very private experience. I never intended to share such revealing and personal details with anyone.
"One day, I printed a seemingly abstract, close-up shot of my skin, stretch marks and all, and posted it on the wall during a critique in college. My instructors and fellow students were intrigued. Everyone was very supportive, and I was encouraged to continue my visual explorations.
"... I began taking more risks. More skin was shown, then more of my body, then my face ... It was gradual. Eventually I became comfortable with seeing myself, having others see me, and speaking about my experiences."
Was the act of taking these photos inspirational for you as you worked on your weight loss?
"As I worked toward losing weight, the iPhone photos were mainly ways for me to pause my progress (even if only for a split second). I lost over 160 pounds in one year. It was a full-time job being a newlywed, a first-time homeowner, a full-time college student and a caretaker for my ill parents. Needless to say, that time in my life was overwhelming. Looking back, I needed these photographs. These images allowed me to outright see that I was making progress. Without them, I am not sure I would have had the motivation to move forward."
What message do you hope that viewers will take away from your series?
"A sense of motivation. We all have things we wish we could change about ourselves or our lives. Big change can happen; start small."
View the entire set of photos from "Changing Room" here. juliakozerski.com/half
Monday, September 24, 2012
Ugh. I ate like a fat kid all weekend. And I feel like crap today = coincidence? I think not.
I went home on Thursday to spend the weekend and pick up my new laptop. It was also my grandma's 93rd birthday so I went out to dinner with her and my parents. So she's 93... losing her memory, very frail, kind of like taking care of a 3 year old when it comes to eating. I basically did that. My mom was on some terrible anxiety crab fest, and my dad was stressed out and annoyed so I tried to make the best out of the situation.
Then we tried to get dinner. I ordered a grilled chicken sandwich with sweet potato fries -- it was one of the best looking things on the fried, country fried, and slathered in grease menu. Then it came. The bun was MASSIVE people. Like comically so. So I took one bite, thought --its not worth it... then tried to eat the chicken. Blah blah blah -- it was bad. So were the fries. So was the dessert I ordered.
Cut to the country store. I bought a blackberry pie and custard to share with my friends later that night... People, I ate three slices of that pie and a ton of custard. *gasp* my calorie counter just died a little. And I guarantee it was partially stress eating from being around my parents but it was also a bit of, holy crap PIE! (the fat kid in me saw pie... and couldn't resist).
Then the next day I got up -- ate egg whites (after a slice of pie *blush*) and got my shop on. I need tights. I bought all these cute skirts and I don't want to stop wearing them just because its going to be freezing outside soon. Buuut I'm 5'10". I had a love/hate/hate/hate relationship with tights. Being both tall and a size 22 made finding tights impossible. I often used to break or bust my tights just putting them on since I had to stretch them to the max to get the height right.
So I bought tights this weekend at H&M, Nordstrom Rack, and Target. I'll see what works, but I kind of went overboard on the whole buying tights thing. Now I actually need to wear them! As a tip for other talls, I am still buying plus size tights when I can just to ensure they're long enough. I had a cashier look at me, look at the tights I was buying and ask me if I got the wrong size. I was in 3" heels though, so she went, or is it a height thing? Most tights stop at 5'10" and 160-175 pounds... I'm over that, so I upsize the tights as much as possible.
I also did some more shopping. I got a few sweaters from the Banana Republic outlet and a new pair of skinny boot cut jeans from the Gap. I'm actually going to try and rock jeans IN the boots this year. I didn't last year because I thought my waist to hip ratio would make me look funny... I don't know what I was smoking, but my ratio hasn't changed that much and I can't wait to get out my boots this fall. I may even wear tights with boots with skirts! Haha, its a whole new wardrobe and if you can't tell = clothes + fashion = LOVE.
After I got home I ate preeeetty badly again. I didn't have plans for that night so I stayed in with my parents and my new laptop working on getting it in order and transferring my old computer over. I thought I'd be spending time with my mom so she wouldn't complain, but she hid out away from me... She's turning agoraphobic again, so I'm trying to not let that stress me out too much.
Saturday was a big *bleh* why did I eat that day. I got up early to go to a Farmer's Market. I bought some kettle corn there *cause its crack cocaine in popcorn form, some fresh bread for my parents, and some really good teas. Then I had breakfast out with friends, I tried to get good options, then we hit up a cupcake store. They were getting some for later... and somehow I walked out with 4. 4 gourmet cupcakes. I ate three of them this weekend. +one that my friends bought. So I ate 4 cupcakes this weekend and a third of a pie. WHAT AM I DOING?!!?!
I could blame Shark Week for this but I'm not going to. This was all me not being prepared and falling prey to peer pressure. I think its official. I can't move back home or I will gain all of the weight back. I think having my own space away from my old friends (that I lived with during my fat years aka my whole life before 23) is beneficial.
Literally the first thing I did when I got home was throw everything out of the car, breathe, change, and get on my treadmill. I haven't done that since the surgery. I bought a tight fitting long sleeved running shirt to compress my arms. I went slow and could only do 30 minutes, but it was a start. I felt like pushing myself after all of the crap I ate this weekend, but I know that wouldn't be the best for the long run. So yay, cardio! *cough, cough* I am so out of shape!
Today I need to get some work done, go buy a cable for my new computer, and go get healthy groceries!!!! I am in desperate need of a detox after this weekend. I did get a lot of "holy crap you look great" or "daaaaayuuumn" from people I saw from high school at my hometown street festival. That was pretty encouraging, and it reminded me to keep on and get back on track. I look good now. I want to look even better, and I want to stay that way.
Exercise and diet are the keys for me moving forward. I'm a month post-surgery tomorrow and I'm getting back into my old workout routine ASAP! I need it. It's my therapy. Exercise is my drug and I'm an addict! Now I just need to clean up my kitchen and I've got this in the bag.
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