Wednesday, September 05, 2012
I want to work out... I want to work out... I want to work out... I want to work out... I want to work out...
Per doctor's orders, I can't work out...
Cue to yesterday where I felt good, I looked good ;-) and I went to work in the morning, came home did some stuff, worked remotely on my laptop... Cue to right arm swelling and starting to harden.
Okay fine. I get it. I can't get up and run around and do stuff. I'm supposed to sit and do nothing.
But in my head -- I'm being lazy. It's Squat September! I really want to join squat September. I'm am literally resisting the urge to do about 1000 crunches. Crunches won't hurt my arms right? I'm telling the voice in my head to shut up, but she's very adamant that I could be working out somehow....
Also cue the fact that my mom's kind of an agoraphobic so she's totally fine sitting in the house doing nothing. I want to go in the sunshine! I'm about to get in my car and go... I wanted to go to lunch but she decided to mow my lawn and I'm never going to tell someone to skip that ;-)
SO today I look cute again. I'm going out. I'm going to a trivia night at a bar tonight no matter what. Turns out the cute guy I had a date with last week has a girlfriend. He just decided to wait like a week to tell me, so he's out of the picture. I am actively recovering and trying to hope my arms heal up quickly. Just in case though I bought some short dresses with long sleeves -- you never know when you might need to look cute on a date.
I want to wear other new cute dresses in public with my arms out. Tank tops -- yes please. I'm ready for the new me to come out healed and healthy and to get back on the freakin' treadmill! I'm going to get some killer arms...
But for now, you know, it kind of feels like someone sliced open both of my arms and stitched them back together, so I agree. Today I'm taking it easy.
Tuesday, September 04, 2012
I'm going nuts. I really wanted to work out today. But I'm in pain. So I didn't. And now I noticed I had trouble raising my right arm today. My left arm was okay, right -- holy crap.
Then at like four I noticed that there was a hard lump near my elbow... now its getting bigger and my arm is swelling... and getting hard.. so eep!
SO yea. I'm calling the doctor in the morning to go in early for a check up. I probably am doing too much typing too, so I'm going to quit for the night.
Monday, September 03, 2012
I just spent the day shopping. I just needed to get out of the house. I can't stand being locked up, especially with my mom. It's hard to be motivated to eat healthy when A) you feel like crap and B) your mom is stuffing her face full of food across from you on the couch.
I think it will be better once she's gone, but I still need her here to help me so its a toss up.
I was going to work out tonight, but I've done too much. My left arm is ON FIRE. Apparently the nerves are regrowing. painfully...
I spent six hours shopping. I hit up Kohls with my mom since she likes that store. Got a long Lauren Conrad dress for $22 instead of $90. Got a cute jacket I hope will fit once the swelling goes down...
Then Panera for a quick lunch. I ate pretty good.
Then Tuesday Morning for some goof off shopping. I finally got a foam roller though. I really wanted one to work on my legs after cardio.
Then Old Navy. I figured it would be a good place to get stretchy skirts and dresses I can wear easily and put on without much arm strength. I don't know how my arms are going to heal... and how long they're going to hurt... so dresses and skirts to work it is. This is not typical for my work. I'm a grad student in a science lab. Now I'll be in dresses and skirts... and knowing me, really cute heels. hahaha... in the Animal Science Research Center. Perfect fit right?
I got two stretchy skirts, a flowy short skirt, a maxi dress, a polka dot sweater and a cheeta sweater at Old Navy.
Then we headed to the mall. I had a $20 free coupon at New York and Company. There was 80% of redlines, which meant a lot of $5 jewelry for me!
Then I had money off of a bra at Victoria's secret so I finally got one in black...
Then off to Maurice's. They had 75% off clearance priced dresses... I tried on a few more and ended up buying a mullet dress... and its long and cute. I never thought I'd say that about a mullet dress.
So now my arms hurt, my mom was stressing out, so we decided to leave.
We ended up going to natural grocers to get some really good strawberries and at $5.50 a pint they were worth it --but soooo expensive! I just wanted a healthy snack. I also found a black bean dip -- 11 calories in 2 tbsp!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's SOOOOO GOOOOOOOD. I can't even begin to tell you how amazing it was. I ate it with some popcorn chips for a good snack.
Unfortunately I also ate a regular sized oreo blizzard. My mom forced us to stop since she HAD TO HAVE one. And they were buy one get one for 99 cents... so my willpower crumbled.
So my calories for the day aren't bad. I will do better. Once I'm in complete control without temptation being thrown in my face left and right...
So now the only problem I have to figure out is what to wear when I attempt to go to work tomorrow.
Oh and my left arm is KILLING ME. Apparently I did too much and moving and stretching my arms this much was a bad idea. My bruises are getting quite impressive.
My goal is to take a picture a day until I heal. You can check them out on shrinking-sara.tumblr.com/ .
Monday, September 03, 2012
So I'm six days post surgery and I am so frustrated I want to throw things.
Part of it could be the fact that I've been stuck in the house for a week... with my mom.
Part of it could be that I'm up 8 pounds since the surgery, and c'mon folks is it really still fluid after a week?
And mostly it was because I put on a bra for the first time in a week and I almost broke the mirror. So I had my brachioplasty to remove the upper arm skin. That's better. My arms aren't magically sticks and I know that wasn't going to be the case. I don't know what the f*** the doctor did do though because now my bra fat (you know, the stuff under your arm that that sits above your bra band) has magically expanded into a giant blob that now goes OVER the bra band. And guess what -- they're not even. I have one giant side and one jabba the hut size side.
I threw a fit. A full on what the h*** kind of a quack doctor would fix one thing and cause a huge problem in another place? Does he just want to steal all of my money by getting me to do liposuction? I seriously am so f****ing annoyed I want to hurt someone.
So what the h*** am I supposed to do? I've decided I'm going to quit eating. That's it. I'm obviously just eating way too much food. So here's my motivation. Lose another 30 pounds and get so freakin skinny that my arm fat and horrible new problem bra fat disappears.
I get to be pissy people, I can only be positive for so long...
So here we go, I'm going to ignore my mother and all of her horrible food choices that I have been livin with for the past week and I'm going to get 1000 to 1200 calories. That's it. Screw it. I'm so annoyed right now.
I'm just so frustrated right now. I didn't think this is where I would be six days after surgery. I can't even tell you properly how annoyed I am due to Spark's limitation on vocabulary on blogs.
And to top it all off, I need to go shopping for some dresses or skirts to wear since it hurts to do everything, which means I have to go in public, with my jabba the hut underarm fat (minus the jabba the hut arms) with stitches and bruising from my armpit to my elbow (which is a whole other story -- I have elephant elbows--they didn't fix that either... I guess they wanted more money out of me for another surgery).
Basically I am 8-9 pounds heavier even though they removed 2 pounds from my arms. I have new problem areas. None of my clothes fit that I can actually put on. And I just feel like s***.
So I'm going to stop eating crap. I'm going to the mall and the grocery store. I'm going to just basically eat egg whites, chicken breasts, and freggies. I am going to use my f***ing fed up mood to lose this god**** weight that has rejoined my body.
I've taken a week off exercising per instructions. Now I can't do cardio or basically anything that moves my upper arms at all, but I have to do something.
I pretty pissy today. I blame drug withdrawl. I haven't had percocet or valium today. Just ibuprophen i have giantic freakin open wounds and I'm just supposed to use ibuprophen.
So yea. Feel free to comment and tell me I'm wrong and whatever, but I'm not going to listen. I need shopping therapy. And no food. I'm officially not eating (more than 1000 calories today). New plan. Let's see how long that lasts.
Saturday, September 01, 2012
Day five post surgery. Day of surgery I weighed in at 179.4# -- a low number for me! Yes! I was excited.
Cue to four days later post surgery (and four days of constipation later) I now am weighing in at 190!
Eep! I know a lot of it is in my guts and fluid buildup. I'm drinking a lot, but honestly the scale scared me a bit when I stepped on it. My mom asked me if I was going to eat crap while I recovered and then go back on my diet.
Well I sort of have been. I mainly ate 2 protein shakes a day plus whatever else I wanted to munch on. I just finished off a bad of red vines because they sounded delicious. I'm going back to water and protein shakes today. I just feel weird. My arms are tight from fluid buildup. I'm still swollen. My wounds hurt like a mother... And I feel kind of gross.
I went to the grocery store with my mom after the doc. People kept staring. At my open gross wounds. I look like I escaped from the Saw movies. One mother with two small kids asked me if I needed help as I was getting a donut (yes, I got a donut and it was my first one in MONTHS and it was good -- but it was just two and not seven like the old me). I told her as quick as I could that I just had surgery to remove skin because I had lost over 100# by avoiding these (pointed at donuts) -- my joke didn't really work though, she was kinda of like -- oooh okay... how nice for you. I basically ran through the store as quick as can be to try and get my soy milk, bananas, etc stuff that I needed to get home ASAP.
But hey -- my arms are a normal size now. The scary scars are another story, but honestly those don't bug me. Well they hurt like heck right now, but I don't think I'll let the scars bug me.
If anyone's interested, I posted some of the gross photos on my tumblr. Just scroll down to see them. shrinking-sara.tumblr.com/
So right now all I'm wondering is how long will it take for my system to flush and let go of all of the inflammation and fluids its retaining? Cause I know I didn't gain 12 pounds in five days -- 10# gain and 2# of skin and fat removed.. *sigh* Silly body -- go back to being amazing.
I can't wait to seriously train. Being sedentary is like a prison sentence. shrinking-sara.tumblr.com/
*I'm warning you, the pics are gross.
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