Tuesday, July 17, 2012
So I watched "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead" -- which you can see on instant Netflix or online at: http://www.fatsickandnearlydead.com/
It looks interesting. I've been thinking about shocking my system... I just don't know if its a good idea. I'm a biochemist. I know its kind of stupid to just drink juice for 10 days, with limited protein, barely any fiber, just fruit and veggie juice. But still...
I think the movie serves as a long commercial for the Breville juicers. The cheapest one with a good review is $200 -- plus paying for fruits and veggies to juice for a week and a half ~$150-200 -- so I'd be looking at a $400 diet for a week. I think my budget would agree that probably right now, its not a good idea.
But still I'm trying to do some research and hear back from anyone on Spark that has done a juice fast. There's a few Spark Groups related to it -- so there are Sparkers out there that have tried it. I just don't know what to think about it.
So that's my "hmm" should I try it -- for the day.
In other news, I called the plastic surgeon to get a consultation for a brachioplasty (aka--goodbye chicken wing arms!). My mom's all worried about me having surgery (and she'd be the one driving my butt around that day and for the next few days) -- so I asked her to come down and go with me on the 23rd.
Its exciting. I'm devoting myself to religiously track my food intake. I've been working out, but then if I eat too much -- the scale is not budging. I've been good today--lots of fruits, air popped popcorn, and tuna. I'm trying to lean more towards 1400 calories if I can budge it--but its sooooo little! I honestly don't know how the people staying at 1200 can manage it. But I'm trying to learn the better choices.
Haha, instead of juicing I should just focus on actually eating the stuff I would juice -- right? I probably won't juice -- I'm supposed to avoid celery and dark green leafy vegetables to avoid kidney stones -- so I guess I should focus on actually eating the freggies.
By the way -- the plums I've gotten in the last week = SO GOOD! And black velvet apricots are my new addiction. Random blog... but its been that kind of a day!
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
I've been off my game lately. I felt great, I thought I'm looking better, I'm good.... it won't matter if I go out for lunch today... and then the next day... and then dinner the day after that... and then a weekend trip...
Oh wait. It does.
So now I'm up, I had a massive headache last night that prevented a good workout, and I felt crappy. My body is literally screaming at me to quit it and get back to the basics. So now I've got the guilt about screwing up my good streak with a few bad weeks, plus the anxiety that fat is magically going to reappear quickly on my body. Which it sort of has. I think now that I've lost this much, my body is fighting me to get back up to my old set point. Stupid biochemistry... You'd think that scientists could figure out weight loss, but we can't. Its too complex. I read a rather depressing article the other day -- after losing a massive amount of weight, your body literally uses calories differently. It assumes you've gone through a massive trauma, and even though physically you're so much healthier -- your metabolism is still freaking out about the change. The article was about how people who lose weight will ultimately gain it back, unless they're weird and super obsessive. Well guess what -- I want to be one of that 1-5% who keep it off forever. No more 200s!
I got on the scale this morning after just barely going over my calories for the day, and just barely working out (headache). And I was at first annoyed the scale hadn't moved. Didn't it know I put in the minimal amount of effort yesterday and expected a drastic result?!
It took me a second to realize, duh, you're the one with the issues here. My goal for this week is to track it all -- the good and the bad -- and be more mindful of my eating. I blew my calories on popcorners white cheddar snacks. Am I seriously going to get fat again by eating healthy food? The weight gain of this weekend was due to all of my poor food choices (3 days running) -- and guess what, I can't reverse that in 2 days. I hope to get it all figured out by the end of next week and be closer to my goal.
My motivation lately has been lacking. I felt too good. Well sorta. I had some emotional stuff with dating -- which instead of taking anxiety meds, I drank a bottle and a half of wine on the 4th and got plastered. Well that wasn't healthy and I learned about the hour and half I blacked out this past weekend = can you say embarrassing?
So back to being a teetotaler. It's calorically better for me not to drink and I know I can withstand the peer pressure to drink. I've done it for years -- I just need to remember that even though I may be going out -- I don't have to order food and I don't have to drink. I can be social without damaging my waistline.
I hit up Schnucks after work and stocked up on healthy stuff. 2# of strawberries, cherries, grapes, apples, salad mix, frozen pre-portioned fish, Jif PB to go tubs (on sale for a $1! So cheap), and my popcorners and skinny pop popcorn.
So far today I've been good. I seem to want to eat most of my calories in the morning/lunch -- then not have much left for dinner. I also workout at night, so I feel like i have to eat after burning 500 calories doing cardio... so I'm still figuring out what I'm doing...
I just wish I had a magic pill to make this all work... doesn't everyone? Instead I'm going to be one of those obsessive people focused on maintaining a healthy lifestyle. My body is basically in revolt right now over my 3 day binge. I'm still trying to get back to normal. No more caffeine, no more dairy, no more cheese especially, and no more excuses.
Monday, July 09, 2012
So I don’t hate cameras anymore… I don’t know when this switch occurred, but instead of the utter revulsion and hatred quickly followed by a scheme to get myself out of the picture – I just smile and pose and try to look cute.
I got preeeetty good at avoiding the camera. There are quite a few years of undocumented 250+ pound Sara. I was flipping back to pre-facebook days and there just are not photos of me. I have the requisite Christmas/Easter/family photos but none of me going out with friends.
This weekend I went on a Kansas City trip with friends to go shopping and go out. It didn’t go exactly as planned and I did not even bother with tracking. Normal, overeating, going with the flow and drinking too much Sara came out – I had RIBS(!), bread pudding, 4 fancy boozy unhealthy cocktails, and more… and guess what--I was up on the scale today. Right now I’ve been bouncing around the same weight up and down for the last two months. I’m almost at my goal weight. I’m not unhappy with my current weight. I still try to eat good and exercise 9 days out of 10 – but I just don’t have that same drive that I did when I was losing 5-10 pounds a month. Right now my body is in the “let’s adjust to this new weight” range. I don’t have the tenacity to lower my calories down too far either at the moment. I would say I run a deficit most days, but sometimes its only a few hundred calories, so its not adding up to a pound by the end of the week – but I know that before I get on the scale. I was a little annoyed by the reading this morning, but I know a weeks worth of good exercise and healthy eating should put me back down to where I was before.
One thing I do feel like I am making progress on is my mindset. Like I said – I’m not unhappy with my weight. I think that’s the first time I could ever say that. I’m still lumpy, bumpy, and not perfect – but I’m happy with myself. I took a bunch of pictures this weekend on our trip – I was going out of my way to get in pictures instead of the other way around. I even went out at night in a TIGHT dress – without spanxs! I had to suck in my gut – it wasn’t perfect – but I rocked the dress. People openly stared at me – and for once I wasn’t self conscious. True it made me suck in my tummy, throw my shoulders back, and smile – but I wasn’t worried about what they were thinking. This time I just assumed they were looking at my butt in the dress (I did mention it was TIGHT right?)
So yet another major milestone emotionally for me. First the swim suit… now a love for photography… maybe these little steps will end up with a new found dedication to get those last pesky little pounds off.
Oh and here’s the dress – it’s a green and white ikat print from H&M – so awesome – and only $17.95! (hence why I went to KC for shopping!)
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