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SHRINKING_SARA's Recent Blog Entries

I needed a Spark fix

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Haha.. I guess after today we all realize just exaclty how much or often we use Spark. Luckily from the comments Iíve been seeing, most Sparkers are understanding of the delay and havenít freaked completely out yet. I was just surprised that the mobile app also stopped working as well as the site. So for now Iím typing this up in Word and Iíll upload it later.

So yesterday was a good day all around. I did a huge experiment in the morning, and I managed to finish up way sooner than expected Ė Iíll find out tomorrow if anything worked, but at least I managed to get in one final large experiment before I leave for my conference next week.

Then I went over to another lab to run some of my serum samples on a mass spec Ė did some fiddling and the tech managed to find the peak Ė which was reeeeeally good considering theyíve been working on this for months.

Next I got home and found my new Gap jeans waiting in the mailboxÖ I just ordered a size 8 hoping they would fit since my 10s were loose. AND they did! I havenít had a single number jean size in forever! I know that the number shouldnít mean anything, but it was a small victory for me. Now to temper this with how crazy clothing sizes are Ė I also just bought size 12 dress pants from JC Penny this last weekend, and Iím still wearing size 14 dresses from New York and Company Ė so I guess the Gap is really into vanity sizing. But since its my vanity right now, Iím okay with it ;-)

And I spent 3 hours on the phone with one of the eHarmony guys. Heís in the Army though, so I wonít see him until heís done with Officerís training later next month. Add to that Ė I did a 5K last night and strength trained, so I finally had an endorphin high from exercise. Iíve been so busy lately that my exercise has definitely faltered a bit this week. I also havenít been logging food or the little strength training I do. I donít know what it was Ė I was just almost ignoring my trackers lately. I still havenít gotten my BodyFit monitor, so Iím sure once that finally shows up Iíll start tracking more regularly again.

Today has been a bit moreÖ mentally difficult. I went over to run some more samples on the mass spec Ė but the guy in charge decided to clean it Ė but we didnít know you have to calibrate it after a cleaning, so everything Iíve done today was just a whoops moment Ė weíre trying to calibrate it right now, but Iím not sure if its going to work. I hope so Ė I would really like to run my study samples and get enough data to graduate!

Apparently my Mom wants to visit again. She and my dad are driving out to Hermann where my sister lives on Sunday and they want me to go out there and visit with them. So I willÖ but I will have to face the temptation of eating out the whole day (and getting it paid for) at restaurants so I wonít be as in control as Iíd like to be.

Iím also trying to stop gorging on HoneydewsÖ But at least thatís a fruit and not chocolate right? I donít know if you can tellÖ Iím really bored right now and would love to be spending my time on Spark but I guess the web hackers donít like that idea. Seriously who would hack a dieting website?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUSIEGKORN 3/21/2012 8:50PM

    What a fun blog to read ~ gave me lots of insight into your life. Love that you fit into the size 8 jeans! I know it's just a number but it feels so good! Glad things are going well in the lab as well. Good luck with your experiment results. WTG on all that fitness! That will help you make good choices when you're eating out out on Sunday! You don't want to undo all your hard work. Wear you new jeans to help you remember :)

Have a good rest of the week!

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Someone used the S-word around me... Skinny?!?

Monday, March 19, 2012

So I have had an incredibly stressful and busy, busy last week. A LOT of things have happened -- mostly good, thankfully.

So picking up from my last blog entry...

I had lunch with my friends on Wednesday and they all were telling me how good I have started to look. I was also wearing a tight, tight shirt instead of my usually billowy tops, so my progress is really starting to show. (I love this shirt by Kiyonna -- sizes 10+ --
SALE/21111804) One of my friends even said I was starting to look skinny. Seriously the s-word I never thought I hear coming out of someone's mouth! And let's be honest, I'm still 188 so I'm not skinny, skinny, but I'm skinny compared to the almost 90 pounds I've lost. I was still a little gobsmacked though that someone would say that.

Thursday also turned out to be good. My co-worker apparently took mediation to heart and has had a much better attitude at work. We were even nice to each other! It was kind of a shock seeing her be nice and make jokes instead of storming around being a crab like she has the past few weeks.

Later on Thursday my Mom came down to visit. She was helping my sister move about 45 minutes away from me, so she stopped by. I finally guilt tripped my parents into getting me a new bed since they gave my bed away to my older sister (the one moving). So there was a general shuffle of furniture -- taking apart the cast iron guest bed that my mom wanted back, taking apart my bed and reassembling it in the guest room, and then putting together my new bed frame -- and moving all 3 sets of mattresses! So I didn't really get a "workout" in, but I was moving constantly and have several bruises to show for it--so hopefully that won't affect my scale too much when I weigh-in tomorrow.

Friday was spent finishing up loading my Mom's truck and shopping. I have a conference coming up in two weeks, and still didn't have any dress pants. I found a pair, and a new longer pencil skirt, so I think I'm set. Add to that some new cardigans and I should hopefully look professional. My mom was another person who used the S-word this week. I just saw her at New Year's, but apparently this last 13 pounds is starting to show more.

She asked me a few questions though that I'm still pondering...

She asked me if I ever thought I would get down to this weigh... and when I said -- yes, of course I did think I'd do it eventually, she seemed shocked. I think that's one difference between us right now. I KNOW that I will lose weight if I put my mind to it and devote the time and energy without getting derailed by a lack of progress or by stress and emotions. My mom is trying to get more active on Spark, but I don't think she has the right mindset. She's always down on herself for emotional eating and binging at night. Her attitude about herself is pretty poor, and I think one of the keys to success is believing in yourself.

The other question she asked me was about how much more I want to lose. My doctor asked me that last week as well. Honestly I don't know. I'm in a good place right now, even though I'm still in the 180s. To my mind, that is so much lower than where I have been in a long time, so going even lower is a fun challenge. My goal right now is to get down to 176 by my birthday. After that I guess I'll have to re-evaluate my goals, but I don't have a magic number in my mind that I have to get down to... So I just told her, I don't know. I honestly just want to see how far I can get down to, but doing it in a healthy way. No fad diets, no crushing workouts that make me want to vomit, no starvation, no deprivation... just eating healthy and working out. So we'll see how low can I go? I think not having an ideal number might actually be beneficial for me right now.

After my mom left on Friday I watched the worst game of basketball and officially now have no interest in March Madness...

Then I had a date with a new guy in town. He's got mild Asperger's so he's a lot more high energy than I am. I'm pretty mellow. But we have a lot in common, so we'll see.

On St. Pat's Saturday I spent 6 hours at work! I had to finish up the special work project and luckily for me -- it turned out good. The experiment worked and my results looked good. So I got a gold star. Well, at least I gave myself a gold star ;-)

Then I met friends out for dinner. Once again I was wearing a really tight shirt and 5" heels so my one friend told me how long-legged and skinny I was looking -- that S-word keeps popping up! Seriously = mind boggling to me. I had fun, drank a green drink, and got to chat with friends.

I had a date with the eHarmony guy from last weekend on Sunday. I think we really hit it off, but he's stuck in Kansas City on a 3-year contract, and I'm moving in six months -- and definitely not to Kansas City, so I think that guy is out of the running. Hopefully the guy in town will work out, but for now I'm still just having fun dating.

So that gets us to Monday. I'm finally trying to catch up with SparkFriends and update you all on myself. I forgot to weigh-in this morning -- so I'll do that tomorrow morning. Hopefully the crazy, fast paced, not being able to work out or track my food last week won't be too harsh on my scale. I did pick up 4 giant honeydew melons at Hyvee -- they're on sale for $3.48 -- and they are delicious! So I'm going to put down the sugar and pick up the fruit to try and get on the Spark bandwagon for some of the sugar detox. I really don't have that much of a problem with sugar (unless I'm in a binge) so hopefully cutting down on sugar won't be too much of a problem.

This week looks to be a little more relaxed-ish. I've got a huge experiment to run tomorrow... then a lunch date with the guy in town on Wednesday... some minor work stuff... and oh yea, I guess I should be writing my thesis :-0 Yea, I need to get on that...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOINIT4ME2DAY 3/19/2012 10:11PM

    You're doing so great! Keep it up!!! Where you headed to next in your adventure?

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VENUSAUR 3/19/2012 2:02PM

    So glad for an open and honest account of life on the journey. Keep at it and I'm sure you'll find whatever number you feel good at. :)

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CTISDELL 3/19/2012 1:21PM

    It is so amazing when skinny becomes a feeling and not just a size!
You go girl!!!!!!!!!


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MISSB8604 3/19/2012 1:12PM

    The "S" word is just about the scariest thing to hear! It's thrilling but also scary.

The day will come when you actually FEEL skinny which I cannot even express to you how wonderful it is!

You ROCK skinny girl!

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CRYMENIA 3/19/2012 12:30PM

    Love your enthusiasm! Congrats on being the skinny girl! I'm in a similar position with the question "How much more do you want to lose?" As of my last blog post I was 164 lbs. This is the same weight I was in high school; while it's not within the healthy BMI range it's so close I can taste, feel and see it! My ultimate goal is and has always been 150; this will put me very comfortably within the healthy BMI range. However, it's been suggested to me that I shoot for the 130's; this is definately a challenge and one that I keep playing around with inside my head. Not sure if I will go for it or not but, it's there taunting me at this point. Congrats on the new bed too!

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Mediation = stress!

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

So yesterday was mediation with my co-worker. I was so stressed out that I didn't really get much sleep the night before and my anxiety was off the charts the next morning. So I popped an anti-anxiety med and forced myself to have a dry healthy life english muffin so I had something in my stomach. And then I had some chocolate... not too much only about 150 calories worth, but enough for my brain to sort of calm down. It was running a mile a minute and I was still pretty anxious.

SO when I got to the Law School and found my way to the room, I was met brusquely by my co-worker and so I popped another half of an anxiety pill so I could keep my calm and stay rational though the conversation. I started.... she freaked out with what I was saying... then she said some absolutely completely false lies to the mediators -- which I tried to rebuff as nicely as I could.

Basically after an hour and a half I was willing to admit that I could change the way I phrase things to her and be nicer. She wasn't willing to change a thing. Literally not. one. thing. She thought it was our problem that we needed to learn how she speaks and deal with it. Sooo -- apparently I was the only one who went to mediation understanding how it works!

She doesn't want to admit she has feelings, she doesn't want to admit that she wants to be part of the happy co-worker group, and the most important thing she is unwilling to do is show respect and civility to her co-workers. I honestly don't know if anything sunk in her head from mediation. I DO know that I got a gold star from the department for trying to work with her, but other than that = ?

We're going to try and do something similar with the guys in the lab and her in a more informal setting next week. Hopefully it will get better. Her behavior in lab today has been much improved, so maybe something actually sank in.

So after that whole ordeal, it hit me that I had taken a LOT of anxiety meds. To the point where I shouldn't drive anywhere. So I had friends meet me at Starbucks to get some caffeine in my system to flush out the drugs and then had an early lunch to do the same. And of course we talked about the mediation that I just had to sit through...

Then I had to finish up my last animals on the study (whoo hoo! Its over!). And then I headed home early. To lay in my hammock. In the sun. For 3 hours. It was amazing. It was possibly one of the most relaxing things I've done in months (and I'm sure the lingering effects of the anxiety drugs made it all that much nicer).

So I didn't work out yesterday but I had enough of an emotional roller coaster I needed the day off. But I think I was okay on calories overall. I've been gorging on honeydew melons lately. I've spent $15 on 3 melons... and 2 of them are already gone. I can't wait until more of them come into season and get cheaper. (plus at 64 calories a cup -- you can eat a ton!)

So today I am back to normal. The lab seems more calm. My boss gave me a project since I'm the "expert" who can get it done quick. My mom is going to come down and help buy me a new bed so I can sleep better at night. And I'm rocking a tight shirt and not feeling that self conscious about it at all. Pretty soon I'm headed to lunch with the girls so I'm sure more gossip will follow -- and gossiping to me is a great way to relieve stress. Plus I've got some juicy gossip to share about myself.... ;-)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VENUSAUR 3/15/2012 10:07AM

    Woo-Saaaaa Miss!

As a former anxiety regular, I will tell you this lesson I learned. People how power over you, if you let them. Anger, stress, sadness-those are the feelings you have and a person of such a caliber as your co-worker does not care how you feel. So make it about you-you are better than she/he is and don't ever forget that.

Best of luck to you miss. It's a hard road, but one you can walk with pride. :)

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RR1_RR1 3/14/2012 4:00PM

    Juicy gossip is entertaining:) I used to think it was bad, but as long as its with people who dont know that person I say its stress relieving. And what is this mediation thing at work? Thats interesting..I prob wouldve been really stressed out too on that one. I might need that with the new coworker here too but theyd probably tell me the same thing - phrase my words differently or stop rolling my eyes when she starts baby talking to the men, bragging or acting dramatic and self centered like the earth revolves around her. phew! All done. Thanks for

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So not having a case of the Mondays...

Monday, March 12, 2012

So who's been watching college basketball? I spent Friday and Saturday nights watching Mizzou KILL at their games! Unfortunately the two guys I was with weren't into basketball -- what the heck? So they might have been bored, but I sure as heck wasn't :-)

I'm sure that March Madness is going to be just as nuts for me with Mizzou actually standing a chance of getting to the Sweet 16. I'd be more optimistic, but we're a really short team. Until then though -- Tigers all the way -- I need to get my bracket ready later this morning.

So this weekend was good. I had a good date on Thursday, and now the guy won't stop texting me so I'm sure he's into me. The date on Saturday was okay. We talked a lot, but I don't think it'll go anywhere. He's also in Omaha which is like 5.5 hours away and honestly I don't think I'd be up for a long distance thing. The Thursday date was from Kansas City so that's even pushing it for distance. You'd think in a college town there'd be someone but apparently not... So that's that update for everyone.

Somehow in the midst of dating, going out to watch basketball, and not getting to work out -- I still managed to lose a pound because I was focused on my diet. I was wondering how I'd be able to manage all of my social obligations and still make progress, but somehow I did -- so this morning's weigh in made me smile. I also re-did my inches measurements. They really hadn't been changing, so I did my last set in November. So I had a little progress there. Nothing dramatic, but enough to show myself that its starting to add up all over.

The only annoying part of the weekend was the fact that I lost my work keys. That meant I couldn't go into lab on Sunday and finish some experiments I had set up earlier in the week. Turns out they're just sitting on my bench in the lab, so I just had a blond moment and won't have to go through the hassle of getting new keys.

So all in all -- a really good Monday to start the week! The weather is going to be A-MA-ZING! I don't know what I'm going to do, but I might drag my dogs on a walk somewhere outside and just get moving outdoors. The sunshine and warm weather are just adding to my good mood. Tomorrow I have to go to mediation with my co-worker who is bonkers, so I'm sure my blog tomorrow will be full of interesting details... I just hope I can keep my calm and use my good mood now to fuel me through the negativity.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CRYMENIA 3/12/2012 8:38PM

    Good luck tomorrow! I'm with you on the long distance thing... it's never worked for me or anyone else I know that's tried it. Congrats on moving in the right direction!

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LASTFIRSTDAY 3/12/2012 6:48PM

    Crazy co-workers are the worst! Good luck tomorrow,at least if you have good weather you can sit outside afterwards to chill out if the mediation is stressful and sit outside beforehand to go in with a relaxed mood.

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SARAHJ19 3/12/2012 11:45AM

    Sounds like you had a wonderful weekend! emoticon
Way to go on losing a pound! Keep it up!!

Check out the St. Louis team Mini Challenge for today! Hope you have a wonderful day! The warm weather and sunshine has me in a good mood!

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ESMILTON 3/12/2012 11:39AM

    I get the feeling from a lot of people that today is a good day! Something about the wonderful weather, the extra hour of sunlight later on, and the positive energy... turning out to be a great day!!

I hope your day continues the same way!

Also, dating is hard, right?! I just got out of a long-term relationship not too too long ago and have thrown myself back into the dating scene... So far, I have not had much luck. I had met a guy and we were dating but we weren't "dating"? How does that work?! So I left his sorry butt, however now someone who was already in my life has made the moves on me (aka small hook-up), but has not asked me out on a date... he texts me constantly and we hang out, I even went on a small trip with him, but still no "dates"... so confusing... I hope you have better luck! Any guy would be lucky to date someone like you!

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Body Fit Media for $95.00 -- Groupon Code

Friday, March 09, 2012

I've been seeing other people's Body Fit Media results on Spark, and I wanted to get one... and then I waited... and I thought about it... and then I waited...

So now I think I'm going to get one. There's a Groupon for the armband if anyone else is thinking about getting one you can use this link to see the deal:

I went ahead and finally bought one... maybe now I'll be better about actually knowing how many calories I'm burning. I always feel like maybe the trackers aren't 100% accurate. Also, I never knew how much I was burning during workout videos...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLUEROSE73 3/9/2012 12:44PM

    It's awesome. I just got mine on March 1 - same type of deal. and I love it. I would highly recommend you get the output display as well.

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