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I've been a little MIA lately

Monday, January 30, 2012

Sorry for not keeping up with everyone's blogs and posts lately. I don't know what it was, but all of a sudden a million things had to get taken care of.

One of which -- broke up with Brandon, and he was like, okay. That was it. No big drama, so it was awkward but painless.

Work has been driving me nuts. Mainly one person, but what she doesn't realize is that I'm a gossip. A huge gossip. So now everyone knows that not only is she arrogant, she's pretty darn bad in the lab. So whoops -- piss me off once, twice, up to 100 times I bite my tongue. Go over 100, then its all on you. I'm still repressing my inner mean girl, but I'm *this* close to pushing her over the edge. I was joking I'd take a punch to get her kicked out of our department, and literally 5 people said they'd pay me if I took a punch. Problem is, the girl is a sociopath and she might murder me out of revenge. And I am NOT joking. She's got serious mental problems, so for now, I'm focusing on repressing the inner mean girl.

So workout wise I dusted off my old Wii and brought out EA Sports Active. I'm a week into my 30 day challenge, and hoping that I will actually make it through. This also means less treadmill time, so my knee is doing a lot better. The squats though, geesh, those are starting to hurt. I'm just thinking of it as good pain and not bad pain, more progress pain.

This week will also be a bit hectic. We're recruiting new graduate students to the program starting on Friday afternoon, party Friday night (with pizza of course), and then another thing Saturday morning. Then Sunday is the Super Bowl, or more importantly the day they release the Jason Wu collection at Target! A few girls and I are going to meet up when the store opens to try and get some of the super cute new stuff. I'm just excited I get to go shopping with my friends and not just tagging along to look at the bags...

I'm still making progress. One pound down is one pound less that I'm carrying around. I know one pound a week is what we're going for here, but doesn't everyone just get on the scale hoping to be surprised by a larger weight loss? I know I have a mantra, just one, just one, all I need is one, two would be great, but all I need is one... That's been the last few weeks, but if I stay on track I should be in the 180s by March. I probably ate too much this week. There were three separate occasions with pizza. The first two I only had a little... the third, not so much but I tried to compensate with exercise. I still managed to lose though, so I'm just going to refocus more on eating more fresh fruits and veggies. I need to run by the store today and restock the fridge. I bought a bag of oranges and apples at Sam's and they are not good... the apples all started to bruise once I got them home and the oranges were pithy and not sweet. So I guess I'll splurge at Schnuck's for some good stuff.

I also learned I can make reeeeally good baked turkey meatballs. I added the recipe, and they are yuuuummy. I just need to eat more meatballs and less pasta. But as a testament to how good they are, I ate my leftovers. I'm really bad at not eating my leftovers--and right now I already know what I'm having for supper tonight.

On a completely different topic, one of my new non-diet related goals was to start working actively on my thesis. My boss is saying I'll graduate in August. I might, I want to... so now I have to start writing and just hope for good experimental results later. So I downloaded Papers -- an application to help me get organized, so hopefully with Endnote and Word, I'll start getting this literature review done! My goal is to have the whole literature review done and cited extensively by the end of April, no excuses. So I should probably get off Spark and get back to work.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUSIEGKORN 1/30/2012 2:57PM

    Thanks for the update! Glad the break up was easier than you expected. That work thing ~ UGH! Such a difficult situation. Good luck with it. Way to go on your turkey meatballs. I'll have to check out the recipe. Glad you're getting into eating more fruits and veggies. I feel so much better when I do that. Congrats on another pound lost and on actively working on your thesis. Once it's behind you, you'll be so glad you did it!

Here's to a good week!

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Giving myself a kickstart

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

I dusted of my Wii yesterday and wanted to revisit EA Sports Active. The whole reason I bought a Wii originally was to use Wii Fit (what a joke!) and then EA Sports Active. When I first got it over a year and a half ago, the leg strap baaaaarely and uncomfortably fit around my thigh. I used to have to put it way down near my knee since it wouldn't fit in the right spot -- which led to a lot of frustration when the exercises wouldn't register properly.

But with my knee hurting from too much treadmill time, I thought I'd switch it up and do some more strength/cardio training. So after searching all over for the bands and leg strap I finally popped in the disc and started going. I remember dying when I was doing this last year. Physically taking breaks because I couldn't breathe -- sweat everywhere -- bright red face -- barely being able to walk afterward. This time though... I kicked its butt.

I used to hate the squats section -- this time though, I was surprised it was over. The running part still sucked a little since I'm more of a powerwalker than a runner, but it didn't make me cripple over in pain either. I had fun with the sports stuff after my "medium" workout too. I think tonight I may push and see what they consider a more difficult workout. Aka--we'll see if I can walk tomorrow. I was sort of hoping that the squats and lunges might help with the knee stabilization so that I can use the treadmill on the rest days.

So for now I've started a 30 day goal of using the Wii and getting more strength training into my routine. Does anyone use the EA Sports Active version 2? I probably won't buy it since my first disc got a little dusty, but I just wondered what everyone's opinion of it was.

Also thanks for all of the advice yesterday. I think I'm going to call Brandon tonight and talk it out...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHERI65704 1/25/2012 11:09AM

  Good luck and keep it up! emoticon

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THINKWHIPPET 1/25/2012 10:46AM

  I have the Active 2 version, I really enjoy it, it makes me ache in all the right places and I never feel any particular group of muscles are over-worked. Of course I enjoy some things rather than others but it keeps me interested. I do enjoy some of the Wii Fit activities for gentle exercise and find the little "jog-round-the-island" routines can be entertaining, I LOVE the yoga though and find it really relaxing and that it gives that little bit of help with posture, stretch and breathing that the Sports Active doesn't give, in fact it helps with better posture and strength for some of the Active exercises.


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Dilemma... need non-diet related advice

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Okay... so here's the thing that I've been stressing about. I started my online dating foray as one of my Spark goals in late November. I've been dating Brandon for about 3 weeks, and the longer we see each other, the more I think I just want to randomly date around and not jump into a serious relationship. Thing is -- he's super serious about me and I'm feeling guilty. Lets be honest -- at 276 lbs this was not an issue! And at well over 250 lbs for my entire 20s so far, this was not something I had to deal with. So now, at 26, I need to grow a pair and break-up with him to start dating around....

Now the question is -- when should I do it. I was thinking about just calling him today and talking it out, BUT, he has a work dance on Saturday. Apparently its a big thing that his entire power plant is going to, so I would feel bad breaking up with him before then since he told everyone about me. Seriously.... everyone. Including his parents. After 3 weeks. EEP!

So now I partially am just thinking that I will go to the dance with him on Saturday and then break up with him afterward in person -- but is that too harsh? Ugh -- I'm socially retarded!

But on the Spark side of things - I've been really good about eating more and getting in my goal ranges for the day (or at least within 150 calories). So eating more along with my exercising has led to a one pound decrease for the last two weeks. Apparently they were right about eating more = losing more. I went clothes shopping yesterday at some outlet stores -- I can go outlet shopping now! I was able to hit up the Banana Republic Outlet and the Gap Outlet -- this might be a problem... I also rewarded myself with a new pair of Ugg boots from Nordstrom Rack. My feet are always freezing, so now today, they are toasty warm. I still haven't gotten into my motivation boots, but I will hopefully soon!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEWLYWED2011 1/24/2012 8:12PM

    I would say tell him before...I've been on the other side of this exact situation. I went with a guy to a really important dance, was so excited about how romantic it was, yadda yadda, and he broke up with me afterwards. It totally made me feel incredibly stupid for letting myself get so excited about introducing him to my friends and going through all the effort to get spiffied up for what I thought would be an awesome night. It would have hurt me less if it happened a few days before and had time to rally up the girlfriends for a fun night sans a date.

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LIVINGKERRY 1/24/2012 7:16PM

    Best honest and do whatever you think is best... If you think its best to wait it out.. then wait it out.. and if you think its better to do it before.. do it then... and if all else fails.. come up with food poisioning. just kidding.
if i were you.. i would be open and honest.. easier said than done... but just tell him how you are feeling... tell him that you arent looking for a steady relationship but are open to keeping him as friends... the way i see it, if he was mr right, you would be into the relationship, regardless of how much time has passed.

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FINDING_MELISSA 1/24/2012 2:50PM

    I would be honest with him before the dance. But I would also offer to still go to the dance as friends, so that you can help him "save face". Let him know that you aren't ready for a serious relationship and you'd like to date other people. But also let him know that you'd like to be friends with him (if you want to be!)

Good luck!

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ALPINESALLIE 1/24/2012 1:07PM

    I have to agree with the honesty factor. No matter when you do it, just be completely open and honest with him. Maybe ask him if you guys can do to the dance as friends and have fun that way? Or, like you suggested, wait until after the dance to call it off, then just tell him that you wanted to be considerate and wait until after the dance...

In the end, I think you gotta do just what feels right in the moment.... and that you are being generous just for considering his feelings to begin with.

P.S. I've heard Banana Republic outlet (we have one in Nevada) has GREAT deals! Did you end up getting anything totally amazing there?

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DETERMINED_SOUL 1/24/2012 10:41AM

    I think you should tell him what you are thinking. Be honest. At this point he is going to have hurt feelings no matter when you tell him, but if he is as serious about you as you say he is, going to the dance with him will make it that much stronger. Talk to him before the dance, tell him what you just told us. He may be hurt now, but in the long run it won't be quite as much hurt.

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DOINIT4ME2DAY 1/24/2012 10:32AM

    That's definitely a hard thing to do. You don't really want to lead him on through the dance but don't also want him to look dumb for not bringing you after he's told everyone!

Is he one that you would still want to "date" while you're dating around?

I really think the best thing is just honesty. Tell him how you feel and if he really cares about you like he seems to he'll understand.

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Happy Friday Everyone

Friday, January 20, 2012

I'm going to make it a good weekend. I started off strong with sleeping in, going to seminars all morning and Chiptole for lunch. Yum. Finally have to start doing some work though in a bit with my prostate cancer study...

I made smart food choices yesterday, except for Edy's Slow churned cookie dough ice cream. I bought it since I had people coming over for dinner, and dang, I forgot how delicious it was. I just realized last year that I'm lactose intolerant, so I've been really avoiding ice cream, and cheese, and dairy (which is great when you're on a diet!) -- but I now know I shouldn't buy it, because I will eat it. And not smartly in small doses. And I will forget lactaid... usually.

So for now I'm just going to write yesterday's indulgence off as calorie confusion. I probably wasn't that far off on calories either. Spark's yelling at me to eat more, so we'll see on Monday if anything shifts downward. I bought some size 10 jeans on a whim last week since my 12's (that I got before X-mas) were comfortable and lose after a day.... and surprise, surprise they fit! I was not expecting that at all. So although I'm working my butt off literally, the scale isn't moving, but my wardrobe is. So my fight with the scale is over. We're frenemies now, but once it starts moving I think we can be friends again. So for everyone throwing the scale... give it a break. I'm certainly enjoying the new tight jeans.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TALVARADO6 1/20/2012 2:28PM

    Wow! Size 10, I would be loving it! Great job! When ever I get a craving for ice cream, I either go for the single serve ones or the ice cream sandwiches. Even if they still have the calories, it's leaves no chance for eating an entire tub to myself!

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SUSIEGKORN 1/20/2012 2:12PM

    Size 10! Fabulous! Glad you're not letting the scale dictate your life! Enjoy those size 10's, and your weekend!

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Stress, stress, and knee problems.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

I have had a stressful week. Its the first week back with undergrads on campus, which means I almost hit 2 as they were illegally crossing the street and not looking...

I had a Monday with Brandon though before the week started. I'm still a little weirded out by it being really serious after a few weeks. I still need to wrap my head around the fact that multiple guys are asking me out on the dating website. I've just been ignoring a lot of the OK Cupid ones for now, but part of me feels like I jumped into an exclusive relationship reeeeeeally fast for someone with no dating experience. So I needed a break. I didn't really talk to him much on Wednesday because I was in a crappy mood from stress at work. Tuesday was super busy for me. I was still avoiding him because he called me Tues after I already told him via text I was super crabby... It was a little much. He took the hint yesterday though that I had a lot going on. I think he got a misdirected sense that I don't work that much since we started talking over break. But now grad school is back in swing and I'm busy.

So enough of that rant. We're not seeing each other this weekend, which I think is a good thing. I apparently need more "me" time. I was freaking out a little trying to schedule in workouts, and trying to eat sensibly on dates. I apparently didn't do too bad, but it upped my stress trying to fit it all in. So I think I've got it managed, and I'm trying to stay in a positive mood.

Tonight is busy too. I have a networking thing at 5pm (with free pizza -- eep!) and then a screening of the PhD movie (Piled Higher and Deeper -- based on a cartoon strip all about life in grad school) and then at 9 I'm headed to a bar to listen to my friend's new date's (off OKCupid) bluegrass band.

So I probably won't get a work out in today, unless I run home between the movie and the bar. My knee's started to bug me. I'm trying to take it easy on the treadmill, but now that I'm able to up my speed and run longer, I just need my knee to catch up to my endurance. I'm doing strength training for the legs/knees to try and help with stabilization but it still throbs after my cardio sessions. Any suggestions on knee exercises?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DETERMINED_SOUL 1/19/2012 5:25PM


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TREP13 1/19/2012 1:34PM

    I hope you find peace in your stressful life. As far as your dating life goes, I read this quote the other day and it hit home with me. Maybe it'll help you feel better too:
If it is right, it happens -- The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.
~John Steinbeck

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ALPINESALLIE 1/19/2012 1:02PM

    Hey girly, I understand completely on needing "me" time. I've been married for 4 years, and there are times I just relish an afternoon/day to myself to do whatever I want. I also have something called 'runners' knee, it's a grindig & popping in the knees... basically per my Dr is that when we run, it's high impact and works only the outer thigh muscles, which pulls the knees outward - ouch - so he is telling me to do exercises that work inner thigh muscles that are low impact -- swimming, yoga, etc.... I haven't gotten that far yet, cause treadmill time is so important just for my sanity and thinking....
Anyhow, hope it helps and that the rest of your week gets better!
XOXO! Keep strong girly!

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ANEWLIFE4ME25 1/19/2012 12:53PM

    My gradute classes started up again this week AND I work at a Universty so I know how you feel!! When all the students come back on campus it is crazy around here!!!

Keep strong & I think it is a good think that you are taking some "me" time!

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