Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Okay... so here's the thing that I've been stressing about. I started my online dating foray as one of my Spark goals in late November. I've been dating Brandon for about 3 weeks, and the longer we see each other, the more I think I just want to randomly date around and not jump into a serious relationship. Thing is -- he's super serious about me and I'm feeling guilty. Lets be honest -- at 276 lbs this was not an issue! And at well over 250 lbs for my entire 20s so far, this was not something I had to deal with. So now, at 26, I need to grow a pair and break-up with him to start dating around....
Now the question is -- when should I do it. I was thinking about just calling him today and talking it out, BUT, he has a work dance on Saturday. Apparently its a big thing that his entire power plant is going to, so I would feel bad breaking up with him before then since he told everyone about me. Seriously.... everyone. Including his parents. After 3 weeks. EEP!
So now I partially am just thinking that I will go to the dance with him on Saturday and then break up with him afterward in person -- but is that too harsh? Ugh -- I'm socially retarded!
But on the Spark side of things - I've been really good about eating more and getting in my goal ranges for the day (or at least within 150 calories). So eating more along with my exercising has led to a one pound decrease for the last two weeks. Apparently they were right about eating more = losing more. I went clothes shopping yesterday at some outlet stores -- I can go outlet shopping now! I was able to hit up the Banana Republic Outlet and the Gap Outlet -- this might be a problem... I also rewarded myself with a new pair of Ugg boots from Nordstrom Rack. My feet are always freezing, so now today, they are toasty warm. I still haven't gotten into my motivation boots, but I will hopefully soon!
Friday, January 20, 2012
I'm going to make it a good weekend. I started off strong with sleeping in, going to seminars all morning and Chiptole for lunch. Yum. Finally have to start doing some work though in a bit with my prostate cancer study...
I made smart food choices yesterday, except for Edy's Slow churned cookie dough ice cream. I bought it since I had people coming over for dinner, and dang, I forgot how delicious it was. I just realized last year that I'm lactose intolerant, so I've been really avoiding ice cream, and cheese, and dairy (which is great when you're on a diet!) -- but I now know I shouldn't buy it, because I will eat it. And not smartly in small doses. And I will forget lactaid... usually.
So for now I'm just going to write yesterday's indulgence off as calorie confusion. I probably wasn't that far off on calories either. Spark's yelling at me to eat more, so we'll see on Monday if anything shifts downward. I bought some size 10 jeans on a whim last week since my 12's (that I got before X-mas) were comfortable and lose after a day.... and surprise, surprise they fit! I was not expecting that at all. So although I'm working my butt off literally, the scale isn't moving, but my wardrobe is. So my fight with the scale is over. We're frenemies now, but once it starts moving I think we can be friends again. So for everyone throwing the scale... give it a break. I'm certainly enjoying the new tight jeans.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
I have had a stressful week. Its the first week back with undergrads on campus, which means I almost hit 2 as they were illegally crossing the street and not looking...
I had a Monday with Brandon though before the week started. I'm still a little weirded out by it being really serious after a few weeks. I still need to wrap my head around the fact that multiple guys are asking me out on the dating website. I've just been ignoring a lot of the OK Cupid ones for now, but part of me feels like I jumped into an exclusive relationship reeeeeeally fast for someone with no dating experience. So I needed a break. I didn't really talk to him much on Wednesday because I was in a crappy mood from stress at work. Tuesday was super busy for me. I was still avoiding him because he called me Tues after I already told him via text I was super crabby... It was a little much. He took the hint yesterday though that I had a lot going on. I think he got a misdirected sense that I don't work that much since we started talking over break. But now grad school is back in swing and I'm busy.
So enough of that rant. We're not seeing each other this weekend, which I think is a good thing. I apparently need more "me" time. I was freaking out a little trying to schedule in workouts, and trying to eat sensibly on dates. I apparently didn't do too bad, but it upped my stress trying to fit it all in. So I think I've got it managed, and I'm trying to stay in a positive mood.
Tonight is busy too. I have a networking thing at 5pm (with free pizza -- eep!) and then a screening of the PhD movie (Piled Higher and Deeper -- based on a cartoon strip all about life in grad school) and then at 9 I'm headed to a bar to listen to my friend's new date's (off OKCupid) bluegrass band.
So I probably won't get a work out in today, unless I run home between the movie and the bar. My knee's started to bug me. I'm trying to take it easy on the treadmill, but now that I'm able to up my speed and run longer, I just need my knee to catch up to my endurance. I'm doing strength training for the legs/knees to try and help with stabilization but it still throbs after my cardio sessions. Any suggestions on knee exercises?
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
I have been a little distracted lately (quite a few date nights out with Brandon) and I was worried that it would affect my weight loss... Its been slow going the last few weeks; I think like everyone else, at first the weight seems to fall off and then it sloooooooows down. I just needed a little perspective.
Today I added in my -1lb weight loss for the week, and then realized that it made it officially -30lbs since joining Spark in August. That is great. What the heck was I yelling at myself (and the scale) for? 30 lbs in 6 months is wonderful. I know I won't keep that rate up, but I just needed to stand back and be grateful for what I have accomplished. So here's to not beating myself up in 2012.
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