Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Today as I was reading about the wonderfully successful journey of SP'er Emily (see her story here www.sparkpeople.com/blog/blog.asp?po
ow_her_down part of one paragraph really stuck with me. She mentions being made fun of while she was trying to run. Now, I would never do that to anyone out loud, but I confess I had a mental lapse a few weeks ago.
I was driving downtown to go to the post office and do some other errands and was stopped at a traffic light. Across the street I saw a young woman very slowly jog across the intersection and then turn to continue in the same direction I was headed. I had a long red light to watch her go, and I'm ashamed to admit that what I focused on was her weight and her body shape.
I was thinking, "Wow, I'm glad my butt isn't that big because I'd really be embarrassed to run out in public in broad daylight along this really busy four-lane street so close to downtown."
Almost immediately I thought, "I can't believe I even thought that! What is wrong with me? I'm so wimpy I wouldn't even do that at night in this location, wearing black from head to toe."
As the light turned to green, I drove across the intersection and past where the young woman continued to jog, slowly but steadily, and then it hit me. In the short few minutes that I'd seen her, she had already jogged two blocks more the half-block that I could probably make it; she was jogging before I saw her and she was still jogging. What an "oh,..." moment. And yet, I haven't summoned up the courage to start my own real jogging journey, as much as I want to.
Perhaps my goal should be to be honest with myself about what I really want and how much I want it. A positive mind set is a terrible thing to waste, but I need to make sure I have it before I can use it.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
When I first started on SP nearly 5 years ago, today was not even a glimmer in my mind. This site would head me in the right direction and before long I'd be back at my college weight (or lower!) I wouldn't feel winded and my flexibility would return. I'd read about this site on a sports message board and thought I'd check it out.
In the hundreds of days since then, I've earned nearly 40,000 spark points, made some awesome friends, gotten and given encouragement by the drop and the bucket. I've shared heartaches of my SP friends as through they were my own, I've commiserated when things weren't going well, and I've tried to spread joy and positive thoughts. In fact, sometimes the very things I read or commented on here on SP stayed with me through my day. I'd find myself thinking about what I'd read and said, and vow silently that those words would be my guide for self-confidence and thankfulness.
And what do I have to show for all this? A loss of minor proportions. Maybe 3 pounds total on a good scale day. I still haven't made the commitment to myself to move forward. I know that involving others is helpful, but I am scared to do that because once I say it, once I ask for help, I'm committed and honestly, I'm afraid (again with that feeling) that I just cannot do it. Enough of that already.
So, two thoughts:
1. I have a ready-made time goal of seeing our DD and SIL in 3 months, and would so love to surprise them -- especially her -- with more stamina for mountain/trail walking and less weight. Let me move forward starting today.
2. I cannot wait any longer to ask for help. I will stop being so weeny/whiney about facing up to my future. Let me clue in DH tonight.
And some change:
Spark points are nice, but if I mostly earn them reading instead of moving what good does it do? My FitBit is connected/synced with my SP account, so I don't have to check it and enter numbers, etc. From this point on, I don't earn points on the site by reading until I've walked or done other exercise for at least 15 min. (That is what's on my goal board anyway. Why should I get points for reading my goals instead of actually trying to accomplish them? Sheesh!)
So, wish me luck and help me stay the course. And Pixie-licious, good luck on your way to days 18 and 19 and 20 and ....)
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Saw this in today's SP email and it gave me pause: SparkPeople's Coach Tanya says: Is your weight loss journey a sprint or a marathon?
My weight loss journey is a step in the right direction. I'd rather not think about the speed right now.
Thursday, March 06, 2014
Yesterday was not a good eating day for me, and not good in some other ways as well. I've learned that such "not-good-eating" days often lead to a kind of tarnished view of the world the next day and boy, is that true today.
For example, I have kind of high hopes of getting everything accomplished before a bit of vacation, and when that doesn't happen, my vacation suffers. I stew and fret about trying to work on things while I'm not at my office and can't really relax.
I'm feeling those same things today, and the dreary late winter weather does not help improved anything. Sometimes it seems like I'm glued to my chair and my keyboard. And if I stand up or pull my hands away, I sink into more worries about not getting things done.
My job is unlike most everyone else I work with, even colleagues with similar position titles. That makes it easy to feel misunderstood and not too valuable.
If you've been in similar circumstances, I'd like to know what you did. What helped you out of that state of "who cares"? What did you change? What did you do or say or eat differently?
Monday, December 23, 2013
A radio station in our area has done these Christmas Wishes for a long time, and this past Friday they aired the final one for this year. Because it was so well-received after the initial airing early that morning (popular doesn't seem like the right word here) they immediately went to work making it into a video and posting on the website.
Regardless of how we see ourselves and our current state in life, I think that putting ourselves aside is sometimes the right thing, the best thing -- yes, even the only thing -- that we can do. That's the story of this woman and her family. She put her family ahead of everything facing her. I can learn a lot from her.
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