Sunday, October 13, 2013
Things are weighing on my mind. Finishing taxes today (major). Finishing a set of papers to grade (important). Missing two meetings because I need to stay home and do these things (not great). House needs cleaning. Garden needs work putting it to bed for the winter and deciding what's going to work for the late market weeks through November (maybe we won't have much). New greenhouse needs planting, but the electric and water aren't set up yet (worrisome).
I try not to think about all of this at once. I am worrying about taxes first, since I need to wrap that up today. I think that's half the weight right there. Tomorrow I may be exhausted, but I'll feel better.
And I did lose 1.2 pounds this week, and 1.75 inches. Not a lot, but steady progress. It makes sense. I was losing an average of 2 pounds a week on my last go 'round, but I was also doing a lot of cardio - an extra hour on M-W and another hour or two on T-Th. Which would be about another 3500 calories. But my purpose this time is to do things more like I'm going to be able to maintain, so a one-pound loss, provided it doesn't stop, is probably ideal.
I just have to get used to the idea that it's going to take a very long time to reach my goal. Twice as long as I had hoped. But you know what? I was off plan for a year. That seemed to go by pretty quickly. So maybe in a year I will have lost 50 pounds and still have 25 to go, which will take another six months.
What else do I have but time? 18 months is going to go by one way or another, as long as I'm still breathing. I can spend 18 months getting healthier and stronger and thinner. And once that's over, I'm much more likely to be able to stay there this time.
Or I can spend the next 18 months whining and eating and sitting on my a$$, getting fatter and weaker and experiencing my first round of major health degradation. That's a choice we all make, every day.
One pound down this week. Very good.
Note -- not that I think this 51-year-old body is going to look like those girls, but it's going to look dayam good and I liked the sayings on the photos. :)
Friday, October 11, 2013
People love reading NSVs. I have another list to post. I thought of it while driving the other day, past the bike trail where I used to run.
See, I lost 93, then gained 62. Now I've lost six and a half on my way back down to where I was and to goal. So I want to post MSTs -Missing Slim Things from when I lost weight. And at size 4, I felt pretty slim.
1. Taking my jeans out of the dryer and marveling at how small they look.
2. Sitting in a chair comfortably while hugging my knees.
3. Seeing news stories about obesity rates and not being part of the percentage.
5. Saying, "I'm a runner" and not wondering if somebody is skeptical when I say it.
6. Being a runner.
7. Going up to the third floor at work using stairs without straining.
9. Going out on a date with Hub, esp. getting dressed up to go out.
10. Looking good in everything in my closet.
11. Giving away old clothes that are too big.
12. The way I felt people saw me, seeing me and not the weight.
13. Looking younger.
14. Feeling younger.
15. Much less back pain.
16. Pride at my accomplishment.
17. Catching an unexpected reflection of myself and being startled (STILL, after a year).
18. Looking forward to trips and even planning more of them.
19. Being able to be a role model with some credibility.
20. People noticing my weight loss, which I used to increasingly find a tiny bit annoying, but not now!
21. Wearing high heels.
22. Wearing my daughter's cast offs that she left after she moved.
23. Looking forward to getting on the scale.
24. Watching new muscles appear, overall toning.
25. Learning to like photos.
26. Worrying less about aging.
27. Knowing the family threats of diabetes and heart disease were much less likely.
28. Breaking my first 10-minute mile.
29. Doing flexibility exercises with no fleshy impediments.
30. Nothing ever seemed quite so bad at work or at home on bad days because I had this accomplishment to be proud of, that I carried with me everywhere.
There are probably more. But these are the ones that come to mind while brainstorming. Gah, what was I thinking, not keeping it off?! Of course, it never gets put back on all at once, and you forget slowly.
I think I will read this list myself a lot, to keep the right motivations in mind. Instead of thinking of them as something I've lost, I'm considering them something I'm going to gain back! Losing weight to gain! :D
Thursday, October 10, 2013
When you weigh once per week, you rely a lot more on how your clothes fit to measure progress. The shorts that were almost too tight to wear are now loosely comfortable. Not too large to wear, but big enough that I wouldn't buy them, if I were shopping. Yay. I must be almost to size 14.
When I get to 190 or so, I'll go to the thrift store and pick up a pair of jeans or two, to get me by until I can at least get in my 8s.
Don't I sound confident. :P :D
Milestone tomorrow -- one month of going to the gym faithfully. Half-way point of my re-Run5K. I'm kinda scared of the 6-minute run, but if I can do 5 Monday and Wednesday, then I suppose I can do 6 on Friday. Going to celebrate by going to Red Lobster with Mom. I can stay on plan there.
Starting to notice some toning in my arms and legs, so the ST is having some effect. The other day, after shoulder and chest work, my arms were heavy as I put on makeup after my shower. I guess that's a good sign, too!
I had a day today when I just wasn't hungry. I had a big breakfast (two eggs over hard, a cup of home fried potatoes, and two pieces of rye toast with butter) with Dad after I took him to the eye doctor. We ate about 10 a.m., so I skipped lunch. We ate supper about 6:30, and I still wasn't super hungry. So I just had about half a can of Chunky light beef noodle/vegetable soup and some snow peas that I picked from the garden. Drizzled them with a little dark sesame oil and added oriental seasoning. Good!
I might eat an apple later, just to get some more calories in healthfully. Or maybe soy "yogurt." I dunno. It's weird to not feel like eating. I feel fine, so I hope I'm not coming down with something.
Guess i'll take it while it lasts!
Overall, I'm feeling a bit narrower. My legs are smaller (I just remembered to start measuring them last week), and my waist is starting to make an appearance. It's so rewarding, starting to see a change. Trying to stay patient and do it right.
Sunday, October 06, 2013
Left the keys in the car and Hub took the car to church because he had to be there early. Looks like I'm going to have a morning off. :D
I'm trying to maintain proper perspective. It's All Attitude!! Right? I lost a pound this week, but had hoped for 2 (or 3) being that it's early in my program and historically I lose faster then. But I DID gain almost 1 percent body mass in muscle, according to my scale. Fat percentage didn't move, but seeing the muscle increase is good. The ST must be taking effect. And I lost an inch off my hips and abdomen, which is another good measure.
So, ONCE AGAIN, we will not get skewed about the scale!!!
Besides, the even more important thing is that I'm changing my life, not my weight. Weight loss is an effect. I have a goal weight, but I always wonder what my "natural" weight is, when I find out what my daily calorie level is for not gaining and I work out three days a week, plus stay active. It might or might not be my goal weight, which is okay. One day I hope I figure out what it is. Kind of a neat thought.
So, I'm not going to go eat a huge lunch, I'm not going to snack, and I am headed back to the gym on Monday morning. Because that is my lifestyle. All I really have to do is just wait for the weight to keep disappearing. A year from now I will neither remember nor care that in week 3 of the plan I lost one pound instead of two.
Big picture, people!!
Edit - I have to laugh at myself and say something about my "attitude" that people sometimes comment on. I often come to a blank blog page with an attitude that would make paper curl and smoulder. But blogging helps me work through it and improve it. I'm not always this sunny. :P :D
Edit 2 - And I should note that some people would just as soon toss me in a lake to see me even come close to complaining about losing a pound. And they'd be right.
Sunday, September 29, 2013
I think I like this weekly weighing thing. I am not preoccupied with every little up and down on the scale. When I reach my goal, I will probably go back to daily weighing just to keep track of things, but on the way down, this method is better for my peace of mind.
Two full pounds this week! I wasn't sure what to expect, since I've been eating in the upper range of my calorie limit. It's closer to what I will be doing on maintenance, so I guess in a way, I'm working on maintenance already! Then maybe it won't be so hard to do when I am not losing anymore. The key is my consistent workouts.
It's also easier to maintain three days of cardio than it is four or five. One thing I'm doing more of, though, is strength training, since ST is easy to do while I'm in the gym doing cardio. I'm trying to get faster between machines, which is happening some, mostly because I've finally figured out where the dang machines are instead of wandering up and down looking!
I gained almost a third of a percent of muscle this week and was up more than half a percent in water, so that two-pound loss this week was all fat! Lost an inch from my bust, waist, and abdomen. I could tell in my jeans this week -- no little muffin top. Size 16, still, but at least I didn't get back into 18s and 20s.
I'm probably going to have to wear a lot of skirts until I get back into my 8s here in a few months. I don't have any clothes between 16 and 8! I don't mind wearing baggy pants for awhile, though. It'll be winter and who cares. I might go to the thrift store and pick up a couple pair of 12s just to tide me over.
I cannot WAIT until I can bring up my size 8s, 6s, and 4s from downstairs. That will really be a feeling of accomplishment. I'll feel myself again.
It's been weird, losing a lot, then gaining a good bit back, in terms of how I see myself. I couldn't say I was a runner anymore. I couldn't look at obesity statistics that are on the news all the time and feel relieved I wasn't contributing to those numbers. I wasn't angry, just disappointed and felt a real loss of what had been my new identity as a "normal" person, and a disciplined person. I do NOT see being fat as equal to being lazy, but I did see my new body as a manifestation of my new self-discipline, to be committed to my routines.
But I still see myself as a success. I know how to take weight off effectively. Soon, that will show outside as much as I feel it inside.
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