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Prayer request and other things....

Friday, January 28, 2011

Before I ramble on about anything about me, I would like to ask you all to please keep my brother in law and his wife in your prayers. They just suffered a miscarriage yesterday (their first child) and as you can imagine, this has hit them hard. They really are good people and my heart goes out to them.

Starting with something like that really makes me feel like my "issues" aren't really that important. I look at my son and realize that even though my health and appearance aren't where they should be I truly am blessed.
Anyway...
Yesterday wasn't too bad of a day really. I exercised some, actually worked drinking water into my day and I didn't get a visit from that dreaded binge monster. I still cannot understand what is up with this weather though! One day they are calling for snow, and literally 12 hours later...its 70 degrees with the sun shining! I guess that is Texas for you though. Today is going to be 73 with loads of sunshine so I'm forcing myself out of the house for some much needed fresh air and Vit. D!!! Plus, my little guy is going stir crazy I think.

*Bragging Mommy Alert*
Bryce (my little guy) has learned how to say "love you" and let me just say...that is a heart melter right there!!! I was telling him "mommy loves you!" yesterday and he said, "Lub Ooooo!" Of course he's also learned to leap from the couch like a spider monkey as well...which is causing Mommy some stress because he doesn't always stick the landing....is it considered being overprotective if you wrap your children in bubble wrap and make them wear a helmet?? If he doesn't quit channeling his inner flying squirrel I just may resort to this!!!
*End Bragging Mommy Alert*

I was watching infomercials (stop laughing.) yesterday and I saw one for Zumba. Anyone do this? It looks like a blast, even though I couldn't dance even if I was standing on someone's feet.... But I can sure flail around to the music in a quazi-seizure like motion...and that'll do. (yeah, enjoy that mental image) I'd really like to give it a try (and of course I'd REALLY like to try out some abs like they have too...) So...feedback anyone?

For those that blog often...do you ever feel like you're just confined to talking about weight issues? One of the reasons I don't blog as much is because I feel like everytime I set out to do so I have to focus on weightloss/gain etc. I hate feeling like I'm being defined as the fat girl thats at least trying. There is so much more to our lives than the weight struggle.
Sooo...here's a bit of a challenge to those that want to humor me. Leave me 1 comment that is just all about YOU that doesn't have anything to do with weightloss! You guys give so much by supporting me, and I'd love to get to know y'all! I'm not suggesting we get all "facebook-y" on here, just a tidbit of info that you'd like to share :)
Happy Sparking friends!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NOMIS1 1/30/2011 10:12AM

    I'm very sorry to hear of your brother's loss.

Loved reading about your son.

I don't think blogs only have to be about weight issues. We are people involved in life. I, for one, enjoy reading about everything.

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SPARKPARTYGIRL 1/29/2011 11:40PM

    I feel for your bother in law and his wife. I had seven pregnancies, 4 ended in miscarriage, It's a very hard time.

Something about me is that I'm going to be a Grandmother in about 2 weeks. I do have a 12 1/2 year old granddaughter who lives in New Zealand, but I have not seen her since she was 12 months old. Her mother and my son split before she was born and her mother decided we were not to be part of her life. This was so hard. So now I am looking forward to a new grandchild that I can hold and cuddle and spoil.

Have a great day

Debbie

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DAVIDPRESCOTT 1/28/2011 11:50PM

    Seems like we're both going through some family knocks at the moment - sending lots and lots of good wishes love to you, your brother in law and his family.

And so great to hear about your other activities (which will remain nameless) - thats really awesome :P) emoticon

And as or little Bryce's couple of magic words - that's so sweet and I know means a lot to you on many levels - cynical old me but I reckon I would have been pushing a lump in my throat as well:)

Finally - thanks for thinking of Mum - only time will tell.

Comment edited on: 1/28/2011 11:52:07 PM

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NPDSLEUTH 1/28/2011 5:52PM

    My prayers. How awful for them. I'm so sorry to hear of their loss.

I did Zumba for about a year. I had to stop because it just didn't work with my schedule anymore. I enjoyed it when I was doing it. Don't worry at all about not feeling like a "dancing queen." Heck I was crashing into walls, practically, and it worked fine for me. Of course there were some VERY serious, almost professional types at the class, but I just ignored them and did my thing - -and the instructor was a doll.

It is VERY high energy though so ease yourself in -- I wouldn't recommend signing up for a long-term thing unless you try it 1-2 times. It was so high energy in fact that I thought it wasn't working well for me at times.

And yes, I agree on the blogging. As you said, I don't want to be all "daytime talk show" on here but sometimes I just don't think I have a lot to add to my convo -- keeping on keeping on.

Have a great weekend girlfriend! Nikki

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JCFLEM52 1/28/2011 11:03AM

    I prayed for your brother-in-law and his wife just now and hope that they are believers and that they seek Him for comfort and love and that they are surrounded by folks who care and will minister to them in this time of grief.
Haven't used Zumba so can't give you any feedback.
I've been having frequent visits from the binge monster and am afraid to weigh myself.
Starting afresh NOW...no blank check to go out and eat a high calorie lunch because I am starting tomorrow.
I have tried not to make blogs a weight-loss journel but more of a life-style change commentary...which you just did.
Bless you!
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this and that

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I haven't blogged in a while...heck, I hadn't really even logged in until recently. I could write a novel about where I went and why...but I don't guess that really is important and all that matters is that I'm back.
Why is it so hard to log in and participate, but so easy to just...skip a day, then a week...?
Anyway...onward.
I had the most obscure dream last night. I remember going for a walk down the road that Bryce and I walk when I'm exercising. Everything was fine until I realized that nothing was changing. It just kept going, with no end and I panicked. Started running thinking I'd get to the end...but that end never came.
Woke up in a sweat...so does that count as my cardio for the day? No? Worth a shot. I don't usually dream that often, but when I do watch out because its sometimes more vivid than my life when I'm awake.
So whatever that dream was supposed to mean....
Things in my life are changing. I've been a stay at home mommy for the past year, but now I'm headed back to the working world. I had my first interview a few days ago and they hired me. I'm excited, but also a bit sad because I don't know how ready I am to leave the little one. He's been my entire life for the past year. I KNOW he'll be fine (my sister is keeping him in our home for me) but it'll be hard for me. Its for the best though. The other issue is that I've been home for so long I've almost forgotten how to interact with people. I literally only leave the house every 2 weeks for grocery shopping (or to walk)...and I'm always with my husband. I haven't been anywhere on my own in over a year. Its kinda scary...which i never thought I'd say because I used to be the most independant thing you'd ever know. Makes me wonder just how much of "Myself" is even left...

So yeah, things are changing. Change scares the hell out of me, but I think it will be a good thing. Gotta be better than the way things have been.

Wish me luck.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHIPMAN01 1/28/2011 8:37AM

    I can't thank all of you enough for being there for me. Sometimes just logging in here can make my entire day better. Barbara, D, Nikki..you three have been a constant for me and I hope you know that you guys have (knowingly or unknowingly) pulled me out of some messed up frames of mind.
(Barbara don't worry about not being able to comment immediately...I know you have alot going on, and whether you are able to comment or not, I know you read...and that's enough girl.)

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REALLYHOPIN 1/27/2011 12:06AM

    see now... THIS is what this community is all about... look at how these people have all come together to support you... I'm so proud of all of them.

I saw this blog shortly after you posted it and I'm just so wore out that I couldn't come up with the right words... I KNOW that you'll be okay, and your little one will be good with the changes too... but that day I just couldn't get the eloquent words in the box. But look at how fantastic our friends have responded!!!

I thank God every day for the people around here... including you... I felt so bad not being able to respond when I read your blog the first time because you are one of the people here that I have adopted as Spark Family... so it is such a relief to see everyone else responding when I fell down on the job... love this community...

~ be good to yourself
~ thank you Spark Family for being good to our 'sister' Trisha
~ Barbara

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NPDSLEUTH 1/26/2011 9:06PM

    I don't blame you at all for being scared. I'd be depressed and doubtful as well. You're a great mother and feeling that way about leaving your little boy, even in the great hands of your sister, is totally understandable.

Please don't beat yourself up about not being on here more. Sure, you want that success but you've got some HUGE life changes brewing. You'll get back to this. Right now I hope you enjoy being with your boy the next week and getting ready for your new job -- I know you'll do great.

Congratulations and hang in there girlfriend. And please tell me anytime I can help, even if by lending an ear.

Love, Nikki

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DAVIDPRESCOTT 1/25/2011 11:29PM

    WOO HOO - so good to see you back here:) The first day or 2 might be hard but I am sure pretty quickly you will be back into it and enjoying being out there - well more out there than you are anyways emoticon

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SHIPMAN01 1/25/2011 11:11PM

    Thank you both! I start Feb 1st ;)

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SPARKPARTYGIRL 1/25/2011 7:11PM

    Congratulations on your new job. When do you start? Change is good and exciting.

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CROCHET09 1/25/2011 9:53AM

    Good Luck! You will be just fine I'm sure!

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Back to basics...

Monday, December 20, 2010

Goal for tomorrow
Water: 80 oz
Exercise: 120 total
Eat "freggies" with every meal
Journal

Laundry
Baseboards
Make up Shane's "treats" for his Christmas party

Morning Yoga
Take vitamin

The weekend was just one big food train wreck after another. I wasn't tracking. I wasn't exercising. I have no excuse. So I'm starting over again.
Having a horrible time with depression, and its getting harder for me to hide it and pretend it doesn't exist. I'm the worlds best at pretending I'm fine. I dont want to do that anymore.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAVIDPRESCOTT 1/7/2011 11:32PM

    I will fully admit to NOT having scrubbed every floor tile - nice dream but not accomplished. Have been away for awhile - couldn't really face Christmnas and NY - I just hate that time of year - I know I should be all Santa is coming and Joy to the World but I just don't like the season.

So - here we both are - in 2011.

Come on back and lets get this thing happening together - I know you can do it - one step at a time.

I miss ya - get your ass back to Spark!

D

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NPDSLEUTH 12/29/2010 10:40PM

    You CAN do this. Believe it, Be it!

And listen, we all have rotten days, bad times. No problem -- remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint. We'll all get there!

You GO girl! Nikki

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COMPASSLOST1 12/21/2010 9:09PM

    Weekends are always hard for me too. I tend to always overdo it and end up hating myself (and the scale) on Monday. I find that if I take everything minute by minute and celebrate the small victories, I am more able to stay on track. Keeping up with your water helps too. It keeps you more full and less apt to snack.

I know where you are coming from with the depression... the winter is always hard to keep the morale high. Just remember, today is the shortest day of the year! So it will only get better! If you need anything, let me know!!

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DAVIDPRESCOTT 12/21/2010 2:42AM

    And with you on the depression as well - it can be so hard to get yourself out of. Cardio always seems to be a way to get out of your head and push through the blues - for a short time anyways.

Weird how we are always expected to be fine - when people ask "how are you" or "Whats up" our immediate response is always - good, great, fine. The reaction if you tell the truth is usually an uncomfortable moment - I must admit I do like doing it someimtes ;)

Right - its still morning here so haven't started the tiles BUT it WILL be done.

The next 2 weeks are the hardest - with determination you will get through them - I know you can, I KNOW you can.

D

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GO-LOEW 12/20/2010 10:12PM

    I am sorry you have to deal with depression. It must be very hard. Fortunately for you, you seem to be pushing hard to keep it from controling you.

I hope you have forgotten about last weekend. It is long gone and the opportunities for you to make better choices are ahead of you. Love yourself even when you disappoint yourself with eating things you probably shouldn't. Every tiny step in the right direction is improvement.

Keep your goals in mind as you continue through the mine-field that this week is for people with eating isssues and you'll do great

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RESULTS361AP09 12/20/2010 7:56PM

    I have to agree with Barbara. You have good goals. We all mess up from time to time, but you just need to keep pushing forward. I messed up my goal today of eating one fruit & one veggie. I had some fruit, but no veggies (unless french fries count! lol). But tomorrow is another day and we will do the best we can! No one is perfect and even if they were, I don't think they would be much fun to be around! Keep reaching out to your Spark friends & hug your little boy. You deserve all the time & effort to be a healthy, happy woman! emoticon

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REALLYHOPIN 12/20/2010 6:53PM

    Hey there... I'm always around if you need someone to vent to... I've struggled with depression at times, sometimes it was really bad, other times it was just the blues...

If Esther is singing you those negative songs again you have got to tell her to shut up... You've got a beautiful family. You are a beautiful person, inside and out... Treat yourself good. You deserve it.

It looks like you have set some good goals up there. That's a good way to start rebuilding the confidence levels and boost that self esteem...

Be good to yourself...

Barbara

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Taking on Christmas

Friday, December 17, 2010

Tis the season, my friends. Granted, Christmas season kind of started way before Thanksgiving showed up, but now its just full force. You can't walk into any store without being bombarded by cakes, candies, fudge and cookies! The huge displays are for the breads and treats. As you ALL know...being healthy SUCKS sometimes during the holidays...but does it really have to??
I've decided no. Now before you all jump me and remind me that we are trying to facilitate healthy lifestyles...hear me out!! I'm not suggesting we throw caution to the wind and sit down with a fork and tray of fudge. The key here is moderation! For me personally, if I tell myself that I can under NO circumstances have any of the goodies, I will automatically dive head first into the first fondue pot I see. If I tell myself that i can have a piece or two...then I don't start a full out rebellion. I just know that if I DO indulge in that cookie or other various thing that my inlaws love to bring I'm not only going to have to track it, but I'm going to have to exercise more AND I'm going to have to adjust the rest of my meals to control my intake. Tell me no and I'll stage a battle scene not unlike something from Braveheart. Tell me I'll have to put effort into it...the lazy side of me says "Screw you I'm eating a carrot...haha track THAT."
So...here's my battle plan.

OPERATION: BATTLE OF THE BULGE
Breakfast: oatmeal 150 cals and if fills me up before I head to treat central.
Lunch will probably be something from a party tray...which I won't be all up in because I can't stand other people's hands on my food...sooo, I'll probably grab half a sandwich or some fruit
Christmas Dinner: 100 g of Ham (and i have no problem whipping out the scale here..), and veggies, which will free me up to enjoy ONE dessert from the table. And really, this shouldn't be that bad. Christmas isn't about eating anyway. I don't know how or when everything became so food-centered. My approach to this may not work for anyone else, but I've decided if I take a tongue-in-cheek approach to this it makes it a little more...do-able.
It was either that, or force myself into tight jeans so I wouldn't even be able to sit down at the table....

:)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAVIDPRESCOTT 12/18/2010 12:59AM

    Totally makes sense - if you feel like your being deprived you'll end up screwing it up:) L loved the fork and fudge image LOL.

The best part about your plan is that at the end of the meal you won't be sitting around feeling full and disgusting and wondering you will actually burst - leave that to the rest of them!

Oh - and nice one for planning ahead you:)



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NPDSLEUTH 12/17/2010 7:12PM

    What a fantastic plan! Thanks for sharing it.

This may sound silly, but when I'm put in the situations where you have to eat socially, I've taken to eating tomatoes and/or broccoli, Really, do you notice when you're at those events WHAT you're eating? I don't think you -- or at least I -- do. So that's really helped a lot.

Fantastic plan you have!

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LONGWINDINGROAD 12/17/2010 3:37PM

    I LOVE your plan! You're right...Christmas ISN'T about eating! Why is it that ALL family gatherings are centered around food?! You're going to do an AMAZING job, and I can't wait to hear about how you were satisfied but not bloated because you ate so much! Great job!

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Land of the living...

Thursday, December 16, 2010

I didn't get on the computer at all yesterday because I was in bed all day with a miserable stomach bug. 103 fever and all that comes along with tummy issues. Thank God it was just a 24 hour bug, don't think I could handle longer than that!! Unfortunately, now my house looks like a massive tornado spent some time in it. And that massive tornado has a name...MY HUSBAND!!! He was a godsend because he let me sleep but MAN that dude is destructive lol

Thanks for the feedback on the Wii, I think we're gonna go ahead and get one.
Yes, that was a snake I was holding, it was dead (the only reason I'd hold it) and it was just a bullsnake. We get that kind of thing out here alot.

The good news is that I've lost 2 more pounds ;)
have a wonderful day all!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RESULTS361AP09 12/16/2010 8:45PM

    I am glad you are feeling better. My husband stayed home with diarrhea today. I so hope I don't get that!! emoticon

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COMPASSLOST1 12/16/2010 4:48PM

    2 pounds! Woo hoooo! Gotta love the stomach bug... haha! Just kidding! I'm glad you are feeling better. I HATE being sick. Since I've been working out regularly I don't get sick nearly as much as I used to! Just once more benefit of working out! I can't wait to hear how you like the Wii! Keep us posted!

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CHELLSMITH 12/16/2010 9:49AM

    I'm glad u r feeling better, 24 hr bugs sometimes are the worst ones. I totally know what you mean about your house, let my husband be in charge for even 1/2 day between him and the kids my house looks like I NEVER clean. I don't understand it. Congrats on the 2 pds I wont get on the scale until Sat morning. If I get on more than once a week I start criticizing myself too much.

Remember to take it slow today so you don't wear yourself out, being ill even if only for 24 hrs takes a lot out of you.

Best wishes,

Michelle

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